I am so QUEER! - Page 2

pynkkameleon · 06-03-2012, 03:45 AM

Queer for me indicates that I embrace myself and my sexuality as complex and constantly evolving. The more that I learn about and understand myself, the more I realize that to identify as lesbian would be like fitting a square peg into a perfectly round hole. I've tried that label on and it never felt like it fit. It feels fraudulent to me, as if I am pretending to be something that I am not. It is (or was) even more compounded by the fact that I am primarily attracted to masculine energy. Butch, Trans and FTM's are what catch my eye and ultimately rock my world. I came to realize several years ago that I have always been that way, despite the fact that I was married and in a hetero relationship for 12 years. Even as I tried to deny my feelings and attractions, it eventually became something that I no longer could ignore. Those were very confusing times for me. I felt as if I didn't fit anywhere and didn't understand the strong feelings and desires that I was having. I dated a small handful of lesbians but that never felt right for me. There were some (not all) sexual expectations and an energy that I wasn't completely comfortable with. I found them attractive, and still do, but quickly I realized that anything other than a casual encounter was the most that I could ever accept for myself. Once again, that made me question my own identity even further. I finally reached a place where I began to date masculine butches and finally found my comfort zone. I also eventually met a wonderful person that was transitioning. While I supported him wholeheartedly, I wasn't ready yet to have a relationship with him. I think that I was scared that I would have to give up my "unknown" label and was fearful that I would be even less sure of where I belonged. I now know different. Nobody can take that from me and I belong wherever I choose to be. By accepting myself and letting go of those fears I was able to appreciate the wonderfully complex creature that I am. Being queer acknowledges that my desires and attractions are fluid and that I am free to move along my own preferred spectrum. Common labeling is no longer necessary to me. At the same time, I completely respect that for many other people within the community it is important. That's okay. We are all different and our diversity is a beautiful thing.

In my opinion, Queer is no one thing but an important component of acceptance. So while it took me a while to get here, I now know that I can confidently live by my own rules of attraction.

Femminator · 06-13-2012, 06:18 PM

Queer Femme here!

I chose this because I don't feel I fit the conventional 'lesbian' lable. I have always known myself to be Femme, I love the 'girly' things. My sexuality, on the other hand, is geared towards masculinity, in both females and males. To me lesbian does not feel right if strongly masculine guys turn my head(and it has nothing to do with looks either, just the vibe.) Bisexual does not feel correct either as I would not be emotionally fufilled in a relationship with a male.

Queer fits me just fine.

06-03-2012, 03:45 AM	#1
pynkkameleon Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Girly ones Relationship Status: Riding off into the sunset with my Cowboi Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Texas Posts: 130 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,279 Thanked 484 Times in 98 Posts Rep Power: 7809054	Queer for me indicates that I embrace myself and my sexuality as complex and constantly evolving. The more that I learn about and understand myself, the more I realize that to identify as lesbian would be like fitting a square peg into a perfectly round hole. I've tried that label on and it never felt like it fit. It feels fraudulent to me, as if I am pretending to be something that I am not. It is (or was) even more compounded by the fact that I am primarily attracted to masculine energy. Butch, Trans and FTM's are what catch my eye and ultimately rock my world. I came to realize several years ago that I have always been that way, despite the fact that I was married and in a hetero relationship for 12 years. Even as I tried to deny my feelings and attractions, it eventually became something that I no longer could ignore. Those were very confusing times for me. I felt as if I didn't fit anywhere and didn't understand the strong feelings and desires that I was having. I dated a small handful of lesbians but that never felt right for me. There were some (not all) sexual expectations and an energy that I wasn't completely comfortable with. I found them attractive, and still do, but quickly I realized that anything other than a casual encounter was the most that I could ever accept for myself. Once again, that made me question my own identity even further. I finally reached a place where I began to date masculine butches and finally found my comfort zone. I also eventually met a wonderful person that was transitioning. While I supported him wholeheartedly, I wasn't ready yet to have a relationship with him. I think that I was scared that I would have to give up my "unknown" label and was fearful that I would be even less sure of where I belonged. I now know different. Nobody can take that from me and I belong wherever I choose to be. By accepting myself and letting go of those fears I was able to appreciate the wonderfully complex creature that I am. Being queer acknowledges that my desires and attractions are fluid and that I am free to move along my own preferred spectrum. Common labeling is no longer necessary to me. At the same time, I completely respect that for many other people within the community it is important. That's okay. We are all different and our diversity is a beautiful thing. In my opinion, Queer is no one thing but an important component of acceptance. So while it took me a while to get here, I now know that I can confidently live by my own rules of attraction. __________________ ~Vonni~ *Don't define your world in black and white..* *There is so much hiding amongst the greys* *❤❤❤❤❤*

06-13-2012, 06:18 PM	#2
Femminator Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Femme Preferred Pronoun?: feminine pronouns Relationship Status: Married, but not legally in my state! Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Michigan Posts: 99 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 288 Thanked 444 Times in 91 Posts Rep Power: 2084268	Queer Femme here! I chose this because I don't feel I fit the conventional 'lesbian' lable. I have always known myself to be Femme, I love the 'girly' things. My sexuality, on the other hand, is geared towards masculinity, in both females and males. To me lesbian does not feel right if strongly masculine guys turn my head(and it has nothing to do with looks either, just the vibe.) Bisexual does not feel correct either as I would not be emotionally fufilled in a relationship with a male. Queer fits me just fine. __________________ Be the change you wish to see in the world - Ghandi