Native American Spirituality

[Spirit Dancer]

When we're angry with someone else, especially for long periods of time, we do harm to ourselves. It's such a simple concept to understand, but understanding it doesn't usually make it easier to control our anger. After all, some things that people do to us or to others are so bad that we have to stay mad, we have to hold onto the righteous anger that results from their actions. It sounds logical, but it's completely untrue.

When we're angry or resentful, we hurt ourselves. It's worth repeating, over and over, every day of our lives, until we're free of such feelings. Anger will never help us to move on to higher levels of self, for it stunts our growth and keeps us locked in negativity while we should be growing in positive ways.

Forgiveness helps us to cast away our anger. So do compassion, love, and understanding. We have so many gifts available to us that can help us to grow as people that are held in check by our negative emotions that we risk being held prisoner at low levels of being by them.

If we're going to move on, we can't take our anger with us. We have to leave it behind or it will hold us down while we beat our wings in a futile effort to fly. It takes a strong decision on our part, and it takes a lot of effort to follow through on that decision, which is probably why so few people are willing to make the commitment to try to live anger-free. It's easier to be angry than it is to forgive, but if we're angry, we're feeding our ego. If we get rid of the anger, we're feeding our higher selves. Which one do you want to be feeding?

[Spirit Dancer]

Centering and Expressing
Communication




Expressing ourselves honestly in any relationship is essential to our well-being.


When we are in a relationship where we feel listened to and understood, we count ourselves lucky because we know how rare that experience is. We reserve our most intimate selves for the people who, along with us, cocreate an open space where we feel free to express ourselves and listen without judgment. These relationships, which thrive on open communication, can mean the difference between existential loneliness and a deep sense of belonging. We all long to feel heard, understood, and loved, and clear communication makes this possible.

Sometimes problems arise in the process of expressing how we feel, but it is always worth it to do the work. Even in our less intimate relationships, expressing ourselves honestly is essential to our sense of well-being. Whether at home with family or in the outside world, successful communication requires some forethought; otherwise we risk blundering through our relationships like the proverbial bull in a china shop. However, too much forethought can stifle us or cause us to pad our words so extremely that we end up saying nothing at all or confusing the matter further. The good news is that there are many methods that can come to our rescue, from meditation to visualization to journaling.

If the person we need to communicate with is open to sitting in meditation together for a set period of time before speaking, this can be invaluable. When we are calm and centered, we can count on ourselves to speak and respond truthfully. We can also meditate on our own time and then practice what we need to say. A visualization in which we sit with the person and lovingly exchange a few words can also be a great precedent to an actual conversation. If writing comes easily, we can write out what we need to say; it may take several drafts, but we will eventually find the words. The key is to find ways to center ourselves so that we communicate meaningfully, lovingly, and wisely. In this way, we honor our companions and create relationships in which there is a genuine sense of understanding and respect.

[Spirit Dancer]

Centering and Expressing
Communication




Expressing ourselves honestly in any relationship is essential to our well-being.


When we are in a relationship where we feel listened to and understood, we count ourselves lucky because we know how rare that experience is. We reserve our most intimate selves for the people who, along with us, cocreate an open space where we feel free to express ourselves and listen without judgment. These relationships, which thrive on open communication, can mean the difference between existential loneliness and a deep sense of belonging. We all long to feel heard, understood, and loved, and clear communication makes this possible.

Sometimes problems arise in the process of expressing how we feel, but it is always worth it to do the work. Even in our less intimate relationships, expressing ourselves honestly is essential to our sense of well-being. Whether at home with family or in the outside world, successful communication requires some forethought; otherwise we risk blundering through our relationships like the proverbial bull in a china shop. However, too much forethought can stifle us or cause us to pad our words so extremely that we end up saying nothing at all or confusing the matter further. The good news is that there are many methods that can come to our rescue, from meditation to visualization to journaling.

If the person we need to communicate with is open to sitting in meditation together for a set period of time before speaking, this can be invaluable. When we are calm and centered, we can count on ourselves to speak and respond truthfully. We can also meditate on our own time and then practice what we need to say. A visualization in which we sit with the person and lovingly exchange a few words can also be a great precedent to an actual conversation. If writing comes easily, we can write out what we need to say; it may take several drafts, but we will eventually find the words. The key is to find ways to center ourselves so that we communicate meaningfully, lovingly, and wisely. In this way, we honor our companions and create relationships in which there is a genuine sense of understanding and respect.

[Spirit Dancer]

Forgiveness truly is one of the greatest things in life. I've found that when I'm willing and able to forgive someone else, the burden of anger and resentment that I've been carrying around is gone immediately, and they no longer affect the way that I feel. I'm able to see the world in a brighter, more cheerful way, and my life is much more enjoyable. Forgiving someone else is sometimes important to the person who has caused us pain, but it's much, much more important to me. If I don't forgive someone, I sometimes cause that other person a bit of pain, but I always cause myself a great deal of misery.

One of the most ironic things about not forgiving someone, on the other hand, is that the other person very often doesn't even know that we've been hurt or that we're bearing a grudge. We're not affecting the other person at all, but we're causing ourselves to live our lives much less fully than we normally would. In other words, we're hurting ourselves and accomplishing absolutely nothing with the effort.

John Gray says that forgiveness strengthens our souls, and I believe him. My soul is strengthened through love and loving, and the more I love others--the more I actually show that love--the stronger I become as a human being. The more I forgive, the less that outside circumstances are able to affect me, the less hurt I feel because of other people's actions. Most people hurt us inadvertently, anyway, and most of our pain is caused by our reactions to what other people do.

Take care of yourself, and help yourself to grow and strengthen and live life more fully. Learning how to forgive fully, sincerely, and lovingly is one of the best things you can do to help yourself grow into the person you were put here to be.

[Spirit Dancer]

Is your mind free? Are you able to make the best of every situation, or at least see the best if the situation is out of your control? Or do circumstances determine how you feel, how you react, and how you see yourself?

Part of the purpose of our life experiences, I'm certain, is to help us to learn to be independent of circumstances. Yes, things happen, and many bad things happen to us and to those we love. But when we finally reach a point at which our own peace of mind or our own self-esteem aren't affected by what happens to and around us, then we are close to becoming the people we were meant to be. When we constantly react to situations, the person that other people see is depending on the circumstances to define him or herself. We should be able to define ourselves on our own terms, not on the terms of circumstance or coincidence.

Yes, it is difficult. It takes focus and effort to learn from events rather than to let them define us. It takes courage and commitment to devote ourselves to our principles that will allow us to live freely and lovingly, and to maintain that devotion even in the face of diversity.

Life flows, life moves, life changes. Part of our task while we're here on earth is to establish ourselves as islands in the stream, islands that will stand strong no matter what the weather, islands that will withstand the torrents of any kind of weather, living a life of principles that will keep us strong no matter what life is sending by us or to us.