Changing last names

[girl_dee]

i've never changed my name... even when i married my ex husband i never changed my name. For *me* it feels like part of the lump of other misogynistic traditions that women were required to do just because we are women.

i appreciate that others do not feel this way and i think it's great that we have the choice!

[~ocean]

Originally Posted by stephfromMIT

Amanda and I were in bed the other night. She was lazily stroking my pit hair and said,"Hun, I've been thinking." I got scared, and she smiled,"Baby, don't worry, we're still getting married." I calmed down and asked,"Then what is it?" She told me,"When we get married, I'm taking your last name." I smiled,"Amanda Thompson does sound nice."

So, did/will you or your SO change their last name if/when you marry/have commitment ceremony?

I am legally married to my ex> we have since broken up .. I did take her name . after 17 yrs of only having a commitment ceremony it seemed befitting at the time. lol stroking ur pit hair .. details that r private yes ?

[Nomad]

my last name came from the person who adopted me when i was a child. that adoption saved my life so, no i wouldnt change it. (not that it's much of an issue in my life! )

[yotlyolqualli]

Changing names lol

My family, and friends from my childhood, call me Missy. Besides ruddebegga, my mother's "pet" name for me lol, I was only ever Missy (or Malissa Jane!! when Mother was ticked at me lol). As I started to have nieces and nephews, I became Aunt Missy. After I turned 18, to me, Missy sounded as "babyish" as Johnny would to John or Andy would to Andrew... so I TRIED to get people to call me "Malissa", my given name.

They just didn't get it LOL

So, when I realized I was gay, at the age of 30, I came out, in a rather big way... and all in one fell swoop. As my circle of friends grew and my "chosen" family began, I began introducing myself as Lissa, shortened from Malissa.

One of my sisters really struggled HARD with that! She said, "Mom called you Missy, she would be upset that you would change that." I asked... soooo, she called you Susie and now everyone calls you Sue...??" That, apparently, was different LOL. She came around. None of my "given" family call me Lissa, I am still Missy, Aunt Missy and even Grandma Missy, but they have accepted, fully, that my expanded circle of friends and chosen family, call me Lissa.

Having said that... my last name, which is special to me, would be hard to let go of. However, given the way I was raised, what I believe and how I feel about it, I would gladly take the last name of the person I would share my life with. Not because I would feel "owned' nor that I "belonged to" but because it would, in me, evoke a feeling of "belonging WITH".

Just my long winded 2 cents worth...

[thedivahrrrself]

Originally Posted by Nomad

my last name came from the person who adopted me when i was a child. that adoption saved my life so, no i wouldnt change it. (not that it's much of an issue in my life! )

I can relate to this so much. My dad adopted me, and his decision to do that forever altered the course of my life for the better. It would take a lot for me to part with my last name. Plus, I'm a big fan of alliteration, and it sounds nice paired with my first name.

That being said, I don't see harm in taking a last name. When you marry, you create a family, whether or not there are children involved. And it's nice when that family shares something like a name. But it's a personal choice thing.

I think celebs have it best. They use one name professionally and one personally. That sounds like the most attractive option to me.

Marriage is a long way off for me; I still have an empire to build

[chai~]

I would NOT change my last name, would never want to be absorbed like that, and the thought of someone wanting to take my last name makes me cringe......it's mine and I don't want to share it~

When in a relationship, my partners friend asked if I would change if we married....I was taken aback...so because I am femme, and my partner was butch, I was "expected" to change my name??? WTH!!!! No No No thankyouverymuch!!!!!

[ValentineTomboy]

I think that it's different for every couple. There's no wrong answer. For me, yes I would love it if she took my last name. It would make me enormously proud. But only if she wanted to.

[MsTinkerbelly]

I changed my last name to my Wife's, and I debated a long time before I did it because I wondered if it was even required these days to be "the same". We talked about making a new name...a combo of our maiden names, but I just didn't like the way it sounded. Our last name is actually her hetro-married name...but it's who she is after so many years, and it fits us.

I like having the same last name...it just feels special to me, like an us against the world kind of thing.

[tantalizingfemme]

I would change my last name to my beloved's, no questions asked; to me it is an honor. What I would also do is keep my maiden name as my middle name as I want to keep that connection with my son.

I was thinking about the idea of combining last names and if Dapper and I got married and we combined last names it would sound like hurl. lol

Not gonna work.....

[suebee]

Before we got married we discussed if we should change our names. Our marriage is recognized legally, so it would have been easy to do. For us the best choice would have been an amalgamation of the two names - our names are too long to be hyphenated, and we didn't care for the option of one losing her birth name to take on the other's birth name. Unfortunately the only combination of the two names that we could come up with was "Rabies". The thought of: "Rabies! Table for two for the Rabies family!" effectively ended the debate. So it's Mrs. and Mrs. Suebee and Dandy until further notice. lol

[Heavenleahangel]

I would hope that my hubby/partner/spouse (whichever term floats your boat here) would honor me with their last name. I am old fashioned like that-especially of we will be having/raising children. Just my 2 cents.

[Cailin]

I wouldn't mind one bit changing my last name (current, atleast). I have no attatchment to it- I didnt know my father. So changing it, would actually be a bit of a "lift off the shoulders". However, recently I've been wanting to take my grandmothers maiden name. Now that, I would have to think about changing from (I'm very into my family's history.) But in the end, I see it as this : I love you, and if it makes you happy, something so little as a name change, then why the hell not!