For those for whom Mother's Day is not a Good Day - Page 2

Unndunn · 05-05-2010, 10:14 PM

This will be the first Mother's Day without my mother and it's been bothering me quite a bit. My dad died in 2007 and then my mother died Aug. 11, 2009. The thing that bothers me the most is that ads for Mother's Day are everywhere. You can't escape them by reading the news, watching tv or even driving in your car. It has made me think a lot about how difficult it all must make it for young children who have lost their mothers. I'm an adult and I'm struggling. To be quite honest, I'll be happy when Mother's Day is over.

ruthie14 · 05-06-2010, 05:17 PM

((((unndunn))))))

Cowboi · 05-06-2010, 07:30 PM

My Momma died March 3, 1993. Mothers day always makes me sad.

To my Momma, The Yellow Rose of Texas!!! I miss you!
Love always, your little Tomboi!

Strappie · 05-09-2010, 10:50 AM

(((((HUGS))))) to all the people that don't have mom's to thank and love today!!

But your mom is in your heart and soul, never forget that!!

ruthie14 · 05-09-2010, 06:57 PM

Thanks God this day is almost over. Just got back from dinner with mom. I love her, but it is difficult to go out and see all those kids with their Moms. Heard my mom talking with my sister. Then heard her talking with her Grandson. 2 things I will never have. Hard, very hard.

nycfem · 05-09-2010, 07:32 PM

Hugs to all.

Also take a look if interested: http://www.postsecret.blogspot.com

Jennifer

Bad_boi · 06-02-2010, 02:57 AM

I always make time to give my Dad a call on mother's day (after I do something with my mom of course) because he lost his mother (my grandma) when I was little. I always make sure he does not get too bummed out. I just try and get him to remember the good times he had with his mother and that those memories won't fade.

Lady_Wu · 06-17-2010, 03:53 PM

My mother died in Katrina. Before that, however, she had cut me completely out of the family after my father died. I am still not sure why. Not the queer thing-she herself was bi-sexual. Wasn't that I didn't keep in tough-I wrote and tried to call -(she refused to speak to me) and sent thoughtful presents on holidays. Both she and my brother told me that I was no longer to call, write, or send presents. No contact-zip!
Now I have a wonderful woman who also thinks I am wonderful for a mother. The mother of one of my husbands, she adopted me into the family early on. As she is the matriarch, her word is law. So I am a member of the family just as if I had been born into it. If J dies before me, Michael is supposed to take care of me just as he would J. Having a mother who loves me and treats me like this makes up for a large part of the damage dome by my biological mother!
Lady_Wu

lipstixgal · 06-17-2010, 04:28 PM

I too have no mother any longer she died 4 years ago. Its hard because I live in her house and even though I didn't live with her I visited often. So yeah Mother's day and her birthday are hard for me. I think of her often....

Abigail Crabby · 04-29-2011, 05:20 PM

Mothers day can be hard for me - I lost my Mom in 2002 and I miss her all the time -

We had a odd relationship - but I even miss that.... She always seemed to have time to listen to me and even tho she never understood me she tried to.

Mother's Day is just another Sunday in my house -

Miss Scarlett · 04-29-2011, 06:02 PM

i'm not sure how Mother's Day will affect me this year...Mom died in March 2007 and Dad remarried in August 2008. my stepmother is a lovely woman but she's just not my Mom.

Back in March i finally had some significant closure over Mom's death - one of the reasons why i am not sure how i will feel this year. i know i am going to place some new and much nicer flowers on her grave. In fact, i need to look into that tomorrow.

One thing is certain...no matter how i feel i am determined to feel and not suppress/ignore/deny my emotions.

MsTinkerbelly · 05-03-2011, 10:09 AM

My Mom passed away last year on May 22nd; this is my first year without her smiling face.

I just had a Birthday, my 50th. I always thought she would be here to tease me about being 50...but no one was there to tell me the story of my birth as was her custom on our birthdays...I'm not sure how I will make it through the day.

Goo · 05-03-2011, 12:52 PM

Thank you for starting this thread.

Mothers Day for the last 8 years has been a hard time for me. I get to thinking about my daughter who I lost when I was 6 months pregnant with her. I get to looking at the sonograms of her when she was in the womb and start to cry, because I feel some how robbed of her being in my life.

*hugs to all who have experienced loss of children/mothers*

Kobi · 05-03-2011, 01:09 PM

My Mom will turn 82 next month. Since the beginning of the year
I have been seeing her memory failing, her comprehension waxing
and waning.

Decisions will need to be made soon. I am not looking forward to this.
I cant tell if I am angry or sad or something in between.

But to watch someone physical capable but fading mentally is something
I never envisioned having to deal with. I feel very unprepared and a little
lost.

Have to find someway to make this Mother's Day special before it is too
late.

MaggieBluIze · 05-03-2011, 02:03 PM

I am already feeling an ache that is associated w/this Mother's day.

I lost my mother to a bout of cancer back in 1994 (7 months total from finding it to her passing) ... Miss her horribly every single day ... And this will be my first year in 17 years that I will most likely not be celebrating this day with my own daughter.

Having my beautiful daughter is such a true joy in my life and such a complete ache in my heart while she is taking her journey that does not include contact with me.

I miss you Mom, you are in my heart always ... I miss you my darling daughter ... I wish you nothing but success and triumph with this journey you are taking in life ... I will always be here for you and love you, even if from a distance.

((((hugs)))) to A/all!!!

Apocalipstic · 05-03-2011, 02:58 PM

I have been pretty down today too, then I realized this Sunday is Mother's Day. Not sure what I will do Sunday. Maybe take flowers to the cemetary and cry.

scootebaby · 05-03-2011, 06:15 PM

as some others i dont have a great relationship with my mother--in fact if it were not for my son i probably would not have any. with that being said ,my son makes up for all the bad and negative stuff surrounding Mothers Day. I do tend to think of my foster mom from time to time although i havent spoken to any of them since i left when i was 16. She is the one that taught me right frojm wrong...how to tell the truth..not twist things to make myself look good or pitied(depending on the topic) Sadly i did not realize at the time what a wonderful mother i had in her bc i was still disillusioned about my real mother....so if i see its gonna be a rough day i look at my son,hug him or just tell him i love him and he makes everything better

Glenn · 05-08-2010, 11:05 AM

[QUOTE=ruthie14;98451][COLOR="DarkOrchid"][SIZE="3"][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]I have a very hard time with Mother's day. I was never able to have any children of my own and My stepchildren no longer talk to me , even though I raised them when NO one else wanted them. If it wasn't for my own mother I would just hybernate for the day. As it approaches, I get increasingly depressed and weepy.

Dear Ruthie; I visited my mother nearly everyday in her old age and helped take care of her in her last days, often doing what the nurses would'nt. My ex-wife complained about it but all I said to her was "She is my mother, she brought me in the world and did her best with the little she had to take care of me, and now I'm going to help take care of her!" And that is what I did, and what we all should for good mothers/stepmothers if we could. Anything less is shameful and anyone who does otherwise I have no respect for.

ruthie14 · 05-08-2010, 02:13 PM

Thanks for the support Popcorninthesofa !

As far as your ex not understanding about your desire to take care of your mother, I'm sure that is one of the reasons she is your ex. That would have made me crazy. My mother and I just bought a house together.. she makes me crazy.. but I wouldn't want her alone as she is getting older.

BornBronson · 05-08-2010, 08:10 PM

I really don't know if Mother's Day is a good day or a bad day for me,yet.It certainly is a strange day for me,I will give it that.

My mother is dead,and when that date on the calendar rolls around I usually take a walk out to the family cemetery and stay there for an hour or so.Just remembering all the memories we shared together,the good and bad.I had her remains cremated and brought her ashes here to be laid next to her father and mother.When I dug a hole what now seems like three very long years ago I knew what I was burying was not my mother..but,well,ash.There are others I have 'laid to rest' in that cemetery,and when Mother's Day comes around for them,I will see flowers and stuffed animals left behind from their visiting family members.I gave those sort of things to my mother while she was living.

05-06-2010, 07:30 PM	#3
Cowboi Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: Holding My Red Circle Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Louisiana Posts: 1,811 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,051 Thanked 3,962 Times in 1,230 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	My Momma died March 3, 1993. Mothers day always makes me sad. To my Momma, The Yellow Rose of Texas!!! I miss you! Love always, your little Tomboi! __________________ Let There Be Cowgirls

06-17-2010, 03:53 PM	#8
Lady_Wu Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Queer Stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: M'Lady Relationship Status: given up looking sigh Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: somewhere buried under a pile of books Posts: 197 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 285 Thanked 300 Times in 105 Posts Rep Power: 155956	Re: no mother and a mother My mother died in Katrina. Before that, however, she had cut me completely out of the family after my father died. I am still not sure why. Not the queer thing-she herself was bi-sexual. Wasn't that I didn't keep in tough-I wrote and tried to call -(she refused to speak to me) and sent thoughtful presents on holidays. Both she and my brother told me that I was no longer to call, write, or send presents. No contact-zip! Now I have a wonderful woman who also thinks I am wonderful for a mother. The mother of one of my husbands, she adopted me into the family early on. As she is the matriarch, her word is law. So I am a member of the family just as if I had been born into it. If J dies before me, Michael is supposed to take care of me just as he would J. Having a mother who loves me and treats me like this makes up for a large part of the damage dome by my biological mother! Lady_Wu __________________ I'm the Yin in the Yang and the Yang in the Yin.

04-29-2011, 05:20 PM	#10
Abigail Crabby Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Princess Relationship Status: Single, but sociable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Mount Airy, NC Posts: 4,226 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 14,554 Thanked 9,668 Times in 2,484 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Mothers day can be hard for me - I lost my Mom in 2002 and I miss her all the time - We had a odd relationship - but I even miss that.... She always seemed to have time to listen to me and even tho she never understood me she tried to. Mother's Day is just another Sunday in my house - __________________ Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. Marcel Proust Turns whatever happens to you into a positive...

05-03-2011, 12:52 PM	#13
Goo Member How Do You Identify?: dapper and androgynous by nature, human by choice Preferred Pronoun?: i usually answer to anything Relationship Status: in a LDR since Oct 2010 Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: somewhere on Planet Earth, in a house, in a city Posts: 116 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 68 Thanked 118 Times in 54 Posts Rep Power: 505456	Thank you for starting this thread. Mothers Day for the last 8 years has been a hard time for me. I get to thinking about my daughter who I lost when I was 6 months pregnant with her. I get to looking at the sonograms of her when she was in the womb and start to cry, because I feel some how robbed of her being in my life. hugs to all who have experienced loss of children/mothers __________________ http://en.spongepedia.org/images/thu...-Goolagoon.jpg The Artist formerly Known as CottonCandy

05-03-2011, 01:09 PM	#14
Kobi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status: Happy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic. Posts: 9,234 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,840 Thanked 34,635 Times in 7,642 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	My Mom will turn 82 next month. Since the beginning of the year I have been seeing her memory failing, her comprehension waxing and waning. Decisions will need to be made soon. I am not looking forward to this. I cant tell if I am angry or sad or something in between. But to watch someone physical capable but fading mentally is something I never envisioned having to deal with. I feel very unprepared and a little lost. Have to find someway to make this Mother's Day special before it is too late. __________________

05-05-2010, 10:14 PM	#1
Unndunn Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: doesn't matter to me Relationship Status: single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Connecticut Posts: 122 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 149 Thanked 166 Times in 48 Posts Rep Power: 676964	This will be the first Mother's Day without my mother and it's been bothering me quite a bit. My dad died in 2007 and then my mother died Aug. 11, 2009. The thing that bothers me the most is that ads for Mother's Day are everywhere. You can't escape them by reading the news, watching tv or even driving in your car. It has made me think a lot about how difficult it all must make it for young children who have lost their mothers. I'm an adult and I'm struggling. To be quite honest, I'll be happy when Mother's Day is over.

05-06-2010, 05:17 PM	#2
ruthie14 Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: NJ Posts: 844 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,904 Thanked 1,245 Times in 461 Posts Rep Power: 5946335	((((unndunn))))))

05-09-2010, 10:50 AM	#4
Strappie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: I know who I am... Doesn't matter Relationship Status: It's a new day.... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Mpls, MN Posts: 3,283 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,813 Thanked 4,945 Times in 1,350 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	(((((HUGS))))) to all the people that don't have mom's to thank and love today!! But your mom is in your heart and soul, never forget that!!

05-09-2010, 06:57 PM	#5
ruthie14 Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: NJ Posts: 844 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,904 Thanked 1,245 Times in 461 Posts Rep Power: 5946335	Thanks God this day is almost over. Just got back from dinner with mom. I love her, but it is difficult to go out and see all those kids with their Moms. Heard my mom talking with my sister. Then heard her talking with her Grandson. 2 things I will never have. Hard, very hard.

05-09-2010, 07:32 PM	#6
nycfem Moderator How Do You Identify?: femme sub Preferred Pronoun?: Baby Grrl Relationship Status: Attached Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NYC Posts: 6,793 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 52,987 Thanked 21,489 Times in 5,101 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Hugs to all. Also take a look if interested: http://www.postsecret.blogspot.com Jennifer

06-02-2010, 02:57 AM	#7
Bad_boi Member How Do You Identify?: Transman (male) Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him, His ect. Relationship Status: Handsome bastard. Tournaments Won: 1 Join Date: May 2010 Location: Seattle Posts: 727 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 122 Thanked 1,824 Times in 499 Posts Rep Power: 0	I always make time to give my Dad a call on mother's day (after I do something with my mom of course) because he lost his mother (my grandma) when I was little. I always make sure he does not get too bummed out. I just try and get him to remember the good times he had with his mother and that those memories won't fade.

06-17-2010, 04:28 PM	#9
lipstixgal Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: coupled Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: New Jersey Posts: 3,028 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 201 Thanked 1,690 Times in 1,064 Posts Rep Power: 1494761	I too have no mother any longer she died 4 years ago. Its hard because I live in her house and even though I didn't live with her I visited often. So yeah Mother's day and her birthday are hard for me. I think of her often....

04-29-2011, 06:02 PM	#11
Miss Scarlett Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: . Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: . Posts: 5,530 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,478 Thanked 12,947 Times in 3,419 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	i'm not sure how Mother's Day will affect me this year...Mom died in March 2007 and Dad remarried in August 2008. my stepmother is a lovely woman but she's just not my Mom. Back in March i finally had some significant closure over Mom's death - one of the reasons why i am not sure how i will feel this year. i know i am going to place some new and much nicer flowers on her grave. In fact, i need to look into that tomorrow. One thing is certain...no matter how i feel i am determined to feel and not suppress/ignore/deny my emotions.

05-03-2011, 10:09 AM	#12
MsTinkerbelly Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: ... Preferred Pronoun?: ... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ... Posts: 6,573 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,737 Thanked 22,908 Times in 5,019 Posts Rep Power: 0	My Mom passed away last year on May 22nd; this is my first year without her smiling face. I just had a Birthday, my 50th. I always thought she would be here to tease me about being 50...but no one was there to tell me the story of my birth as was her custom on our birthdays...I'm not sure how I will make it through the day.

05-03-2011, 02:03 PM	#15
MaggieBluIze Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Feisty Kick Butt Bratty Babygirl Femme LOL Preferred Pronoun?: Something Sweet Please =) Relationship Status: My rainbow bubble holds love, happiness and life with my sweet Husbutch Daddy Bass! Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Austin TX Baby!!! Posts: 2,154 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,912 Thanked 5,385 Times in 1,504 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I am already feeling an ache that is associated w/this Mother's day. I lost my mother to a bout of cancer back in 1994 (7 months total from finding it to her passing) ... Miss her horribly every single day ... And this will be my first year in 17 years that I will most likely not be celebrating this day with my own daughter. Having my beautiful daughter is such a true joy in my life and such a complete ache in my heart while she is taking her journey that does not include contact with me. I miss you Mom, you are in my heart always ... I miss you my darling daughter ... I wish you nothing but success and triumph with this journey you are taking in life ... I will always be here for you and love you, even if from a distance. ((((hugs)))) to A/all!!! __________________ s her sweet Daddy Bass ~~http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a1...ion/maggie.jpg

05-03-2011, 02:58 PM	#16
Apocalipstic Pink Confection How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status: Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville Posts: 4,266 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,195 Thanked 11,361 Times in 2,838 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I have been pretty down today too, then I realized this Sunday is Mother's Day. Not sure what I will do Sunday. Maybe take flowers to the cemetary and cry. __________________

05-03-2011, 06:15 PM	#17
scootebaby Timed Out How Do You Identify?: yes dear Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: south florida Posts: 2,494 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,264 Thanked 6,737 Times in 1,777 Posts Rep Power: 0	as some others i dont have a great relationship with my mother--in fact if it were not for my son i probably would not have any. with that being said ,my son makes up for all the bad and negative stuff surrounding Mothers Day. I do tend to think of my foster mom from time to time although i havent spoken to any of them since i left when i was 16. She is the one that taught me right frojm wrong...how to tell the truth..not twist things to make myself look good or pitied(depending on the topic) Sadly i did not realize at the time what a wonderful mother i had in her bc i was still disillusioned about my real mother....so if i see its gonna be a rough day i look at my son,hug him or just tell him i love him and he makes everything better

05-08-2010, 11:05 AM	#18
Glenn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Dear ol butch bones. Preferred Pronoun?: Old G Relationship Status: Too old to play. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: :rolleyes: Posts: 1,547 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,601 Thanked 3,729 Times in 1,095 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	[QUOTE=ruthie14;98451][COLOR="DarkOrchid"][SIZE="3"][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]I have a very hard time with Mother's day. I was never able to have any children of my own and My stepchildren no longer talk to me , even though I raised them when NO one else wanted them. If it wasn't for my own mother I would just hybernate for the day. As it approaches, I get increasingly depressed and weepy. Dear Ruthie; I visited my mother nearly everyday in her old age and helped take care of her in her last days, often doing what the nurses would'nt. My ex-wife complained about it but all I said to her was "She is my mother, she brought me in the world and did her best with the little she had to take care of me, and now I'm going to help take care of her!" And that is what I did, and what we all should for good mothers/stepmothers if we could. Anything less is shameful and anyone who does otherwise I have no respect for.

05-08-2010, 02:13 PM	#19
ruthie14 Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: NJ Posts: 844 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,904 Thanked 1,245 Times in 461 Posts Rep Power: 5946335	Thanks for the support Popcorninthesofa ! As far as your ex not understanding about your desire to take care of your mother, I'm sure that is one of the reasons she is your ex. That would have made me crazy. My mother and I just bought a house together.. she makes me crazy.. but I wouldn't want her alone as she is getting older.

05-08-2010, 08:10 PM	#20
BornBronson Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Permanently banned 7/2010 Preferred Pronoun?: Straight Butch Woman Relationship Status: Nice Tie Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In Love Posts: 177 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 24 Thanked 139 Times in 82 Posts Rep Power: 0	I really don't know if Mother's Day is a good day or a bad day for me,yet.It certainly is a strange day for me,I will give it that. My mother is dead,and when that date on the calendar rolls around I usually take a walk out to the family cemetery and stay there for an hour or so.Just remembering all the memories we shared together,the good and bad.I had her remains cremated and brought her ashes here to be laid next to her father and mother.When I dug a hole what now seems like three very long years ago I knew what I was burying was not my mother..but,well,ash.There are others I have 'laid to rest' in that cemetery,and when Mother's Day comes around for them,I will see flowers and stuffed animals left behind from their visiting family members.I gave those sort of things to my mother while she was living.