what NOT to do in a relationship.......

[Enchantress]

Always follow your head. Listen to your heart, but don't let it make the decisions. I know I don't.

[Ebon]

Don't ask your partner to bring you and your "study partner" some food right after you have had sex. At least let the smell disappear before.

[Dylan]

If I'm drinking milk or a milky-like substance (to include, but not limited to, milkshakes, bowls of cereal, protein shakes, chocolate milk), DO NOT just grab the glass and take a sip. In fact, don't even ask me for a sip. Milk is NOT one of those 'sharable' beverages. Because of the consistency of milk, it creates a milk/slobber suspension in which the slobber of others sits suspended in the liquid and not actually absorbed or killed by the beverage (Coke, for example, has enough chemicals to actually kill slobber, making it a "sharable" beverage).



Also, Please Don't Drink Out Of The Milk Carton (same reasons as above),
Dylan...will save you some when I'm done, but we can't have a "back and forth" share-fest when it comes to milky beverages

[asphaltcowboi]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

If you are in a monogamous relationship, DO NOT allow anyone's lips near your crotch..

If you did, please disclose all info to the other person so everyone is on the same page.

AKA don't lie.

ok so what if your goofing off and the girl sitting at the bar next to you drops her lighter and youve been cutting up mostly with your butch buds and and being funny you say.." while your down there" then bam! real quick she bites you there... and ya dont think anything off it until someone says something.. i was honest and still she never got over it!!
oh well way in the past.. just came to mind

[Soft*Silver]

I think if a bf of mine said to a girl in a bar, "while you are down there" I would
1) question why he would talk trash to a strange girl
2) question why he would think it was an appropriate thing to say when he is in a relationship
3) question his ability to make proper judgements about other things beyond the safety of the zipper of his pants
4) question why I am in a relationship with someone who would make me question 1, 2 and 3
5)tell my BF that being honest doesnt make you unaccountable for your lack of good judgement. It just means you are throwing it all out there at once so you wont have to go thru it inch by inch
6) decide if a strange girl could put her mouth there on a dare, I sure wasnt going to put my mouth there again out of love. The sacredness of our sex would have been violated, and what makes it even worse, is that it was all funny. It wasnt even done seriously...

not picking on you, Cody...it just struck a raw cord in me. You didnt upset me..the scenario did...

Originally Posted by cody

ok so what if your goofing off and the girl sitting at the bar next to you drops her lighter and youve been cutting up mostly with your butch buds and and being funny you say.." while your down there" then bam! real quick she bites you there... and ya dont think anything off it until someone says something.. i was honest and still she never got over it!!
oh well way in the past.. just came to mind

[Daywalker]

Wait until you get home to point out that she haz mouth gooey's.

[asphaltcowboi]

Originally Posted by softness

I think if a bf of mine said to a girl in a bar, "while you are down there" I would
1) question why he would talk trash to a strange girl
2) question why he would think it was an appropriate thing to say when he is in a relationship
3) question his ability to make proper judgements about other things beyond the safety of the zipper of his pants
4) question why I am in a relationship with someone who would make me question 1, 2 and 3
5)tell my BF that being honest doesnt make you unaccountable for your lack of good judgement. It just means you are throwing it all out there at once so you wont have to go thru it inch by inch
6) decide if a strange girl could put her mouth there on a dare, I sure wasnt going to put my mouth there again out of love. The sacredness of our sex would have been violated, and what makes it even worse, is that it was all funny. It wasnt even done seriously...

not picking on you, Cody...it just struck a raw cord in me. You didnt upset me..the scenario did...

yes i hear ya but we had all been cutting up.. having fun her included.. actualy a few girls were messing with us butches and we didnt start it
and she did it as a joak!!! he he ya know fun? see thats why i said never let it happen!! it was a reaction and fun was had by all.. im sorry your so up tight about it.

[Gayla]

Originally Posted by cody

/ im sorry your so up tight about it.

Just because someone thinks differently, doesn't make them up tight.

[asphaltcowboi]

Originally Posted by gayla

Just because someone thinks differently, doesn't make them up tight.

by uptight i was refering to this part of her post.


Cody...it just struck a raw cord in me. You didnt upset me..the scenario did...

[Gayla]

Again, she puts a different value on things than you do. If there is anything I've learned from this thread, it's that each of us have very different ideas of what is important in a relationship and in interactions with a partner. That doesn't make any of them wrong or right.

[Gemme]

For the record, if my partner came home with another girl's lipstick on their crotch, they'd sleep on the couch or floor that night while I figured things out and then they'd most likely get out the next day. I do not play games like that because...when *I'm* with *my* friends and some butches come up and we're all messing around and when another butch puts parts of their body on mine...whether joking or not...*my* partner would get upset, and rightfully so. That shit feels terrible and I don't want to be with someone who can so easily minimalize my feelings. I'm with softness on this one. The scenario sucks; this is NOT a judgement call on any of your past experiences, cody. Just the situation as it would apply to me.

If I were single and that happened, it would be a totally different situation because I would not have a relationship with someone else that should be honored above temporary fun.

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

Do not open the box of Cocoa Krispies they are mine, *I* like to be the one who opens them.

Riiight? I've never been with someone that shared all of my likes/dislikes in food, so there's always been MINE and YOURS and OURS. Eat whatever you want from the OURS foods, but I don't eat YOURS without permission and I expect the same to apply to MINE. If I am craving that ice cream or candy or cake or whatever and I go to look for it and it's either gone or almost gone or opened when I know damn well I didn't open it, I won't be a happy girl.

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

don't make me snuggle all night after hot sex.
i need space.

I need sleep.

[asphaltcowboi]

Originally Posted by Gemme

For the record, if my partner came home with another girl's lipstick on their crotch, they'd sleep on the couch or floor that night while I figured things out and then they'd most likely get out the next day. I do not play games like that because...when *I'm* with *my* friends and some butches come up and we're all messing around and when another butch puts parts of their body on mine...whether joking or not...*my* partner would get upset, and rightfully so. That shit feels terrible and I don't want to be with someone who can so easily minimalize my feelings. I'm with softness on this one. The scenario sucks; this is NOT a judgement call on any of your past experiences, cody. Just the situation as it would apply to me.

If I were single and that happened, it would be a totally different situation because I would not have a relationship with someone else that should be honored above temporary fun.



Riiight? I've never been with someone that shared all of my likes/dislikes in food, so there's always been MINE and YOURS and OURS. Eat whatever you want from the OURS foods, but I don't eat YOURS without permission and I expect the same to apply to MINE. If I am craving that ice cream or candy or cake or whatever and I go to look for it and it's either gone or almost gone or opened when I know damn well I didn't open it, I won't be a happy girl.



I need sleep.

ok thats why it was posted in the things not to do!!! i fought this battle once many years ago i learned from it.. and didnt realize by posting it "as something not to do" i would feel i had to defend mself..

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by cody

ok thats why it was posted in the things not to do!!! i fought this battle once many years ago i learned from it.. and didnt realize by posting it "as something not to do" i would feel i had to defend mself..

No defense necessary. We are commenting on the situation itself as it would pertain to us, not on you personally. I'm pretty sure the same comments would arise if it'd been a "Hey, I heard that someone did this once and it seems like a bad idea so I'm going to put it in here" thing versus a "Hey, this happened and it sucked, so don't do it" thing.

[BestButchBoy]

Do NOT ignore the KISS (keep it simple stupid) philosophy: When someone shows you who they are, believe them, the first time.

Thinking about it. Feeling it. Worrying about it. Will not change anyone or their behavior. You may ask for what you want (and hopefully you do) BUT. You can't change anyone, save yourself. Everything begins and ends with yourself. Empower yourself in all your relationships (and life) because nothing else will work.

Seriously.

[NJFemmie]

One thing I personally hate is pretentiousness.
Be real and keep it real.
Head games might amuse "you", but may not entertain everyone.

[NJFemmie]

Originally Posted by betenoire

I disagree with that 100%, just saying.

This approach may not work for everyone.
... just sayin.

[dark_crystal]

Originally Posted by betenoire

Do not tell me the password to your email for any reason. Cuz after we break up I will break into your email account and edit your signature so that it says something REAL unflattering. Then I will check back regularly to see if you've noticed yet. (Yes, I have.)

lol i have never changed anything but i have logged in to read the messages and cackle gleefully...i figure if i wasn't supposed to do it you wouldn't have told me your password...once.....five years previously

Originally Posted by NJFemmie

One thing I personally hate is pretentiousness.
Be real and keep it real.
Head games might amuse "you", but may not entertain everyone.

OMG srsly this makes me barf...and after going through a conservatory studio arts program and becoming a librarian and being exposed to every book, movie, and cd that has come out since 1989- i guarantee i know way more about culture than you do and like Twilight and the Jonas Brothers in spite of it all.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by cody

yes i hear ya but we had all been cutting up.. having fun her included.. actualy a few girls were messing with us butches and we didnt start it
and she did it as a joak!!! he he ya know fun? see thats why i said never let it happen!! it was a reaction and fun was had by all.. im sorry your so up tight about it.

Hi Cody!

It's not you having to defend yourself it's what NOT to do right?


I mean I am a girl and if there were a bunch of butches *yacking* it up I certainly would not think that me putting my mouth on any part of them especially if they are with someone is OK and hell I am a pretty open person and sexual but still know boundaries.

I guess that is what makes us all different in the long run, you see it as a joke and well some of us see it as poor choice on the girls part for not listening to you that you had a girl and you contemplating lying to your girl.

Lesson in all this is.

Milk sharing is icky beyond all get out right up there with SCAT and allowing girls to put their lips on one's crotch ARE NOT good things for a relationship!

[firie]

don't take his last dollar bill out of the big daddy wallet because he likes to always have one for a coke in a can

unless you want a big daddy fit about never having any big daddy bills

teehee

[theoddz]

I've always said that, when you're with someone, don't do things that they could even interpret as being improper. Consider their feelings and how they might see it before you do something that you may feel (and know) is innocent, but they may view it differently. Why do things that beg for trouble??

I think the most valued traits in a healthy relationship are respect and consideration. If you don't have those two basic things, you don't have anything.

~Theo~