The Loft: Butches and Femmes in their 40s, 50s and over.

[luv2luvgirls]

can I come in? I'll be 40 in Sept hello everyone

[msW8ing]

Originally Posted by luv2luvgirls

can I come in? I'll be 40 in Sept hello everyone

I'm sure you can. I've never found any doors locked on this site.lol Cool signature.

[luv2luvgirls]

Originally Posted by MsW8ing

I'm sure you can. I've never found any doors locked on this site.lol Cool signature.

Thank you I like your siggy nice to meet you MsW8ing

[msW8ing]

Originally Posted by luv2luvgirls

Thank you I like your siggy nice to meet you MsW8ing

Well thank you. Nice to meet you as well.

[ruthie14]

Happy Sunday Lofters.. Wow it has really been slow around here!

I am curious... it seems in my circle of friends who are over 40 and single are only into friends with benefits or one night stands. Niether of which is ok for me... alright for them if that is what they want, just not ok for me.

I am wondering how many folks here feel the same way they do. You don't have to be single to answer the question, just answer as if you are single if you are not.

It just seems there are too few people that want the long term thing anymore. I am 49, I have had a few gfs but I have only been our for 5 years...some of which I was still married to a man and was not looking for a relationship with a woman at that time. It seems to me that only women who are under 40 even think about having a real relationship around here. If they are over 40 and believe that relationships are great... they are already in one.

[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by ruthie14

Happy Sunday Lofters.. Wow it has really been slow around here!

I am curious... it seems in my circle of friends who are over 40 and single are only into friends with benefits or one night stands. Niether of which is ok for me... alright for them if that is what they want, just not ok for me.

I am wondering how many folks here feel the same way they do. You don't have to be single to answer the question, just answer as if you are single if you are not.

It just seems there are too few people that want the long term thing anymore. I am 49, I have had a few gfs but I have only been our for 5 years...some of which I was still married to a man and was not looking for a relationship with a woman at that time. It seems to me that only women who are under 40 even think about having a real relationship around here. If they are over 40 and believe that relationships are great... they are already in one.

Don't know if this the exact response you are looking for but no, it is not me at all. I had one night stands when I first came out as bi but only with women, I was about 19 or 20. When I accepted I was Lesbian, I did have a few just because it was all so exciting and new, it was a second adolescence for me and a much, much better one than my first adolescence!

By the time I was in my mid-20's I was with my first real GF for a year and then my long-term one for 19.

I have not had casual sex since my break-up. I do not judge anyone for their sex life or choices. For me though, I am older now and looking at the last 20-25 years of my life down the road. I want another relationship, one of substance and committment-not just a fuck (though if I am totally honest, I wish I could do that without any emotional repercussions but I know myself, and that I can not).

I think that in this day and age, one can have whatever type of relationship we want. For some, the friends with benefits or one-night stand is it. I even believe it is also a right-of-passage when we are younger and that it helps us understand who and what we are and what it is we want and need. I know enought about myself now to know that it just would not work for me.

In some ways I am more confident in myself but in others; I feel much more vulnerable than I did when I was younger. When I was young, I felt invincible. I don't feel that way any longer.

[luv2luvgirls]

Originally Posted by ruthie14

Happy Sunday Lofters.. Wow it has really been slow around here!

I am curious... it seems in my circle of friends who are over 40 and single are only into friends with benefits or one night stands. Niether of which is ok for me... alright for them if that is what they want, just not ok for me.

I am wondering how many folks here feel the same way they do. You don't have to be single to answer the question, just answer as if you are single if you are not.

It just seems there are too few people that want the long term thing anymore. I am 49, I have had a few gfs but I have only been our for 5 years...some of which I was still married to a man and was not looking for a relationship with a woman at that time. It seems to me that only women who are under 40 even think about having a real relationship around here. If they are over 40 and believe that relationships are great... they are already in one.

well for me i dont want a casual hook up i want something we can grow in and last.... hope that helps

[clay]

Hi Ruthie: I am "over 40" and I want neither a FWB NOR a one night stand. I AM interested in the LTR! Many years ago..when I was a young pup..yes, I did a couple myself. But for the most part, my relationships have been LTR, committed, and monogamous! Now I want another LTR with someone...whom we will live out the rest of our lives with one another...in monogamy! I want that long haul...no matter what.,...we WILL see one another thru better or worse, richer or poorer! Ruthie, you know my story...and I WANT to have a love of my life again. I WANT my soulmate. I believe in fate, destiny, and love happily ever after! I am well on my way to having found that again...I am truly blessed....yea, cupid shot me in the ass....dang that arrow hurts....so good!!! <wink> Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I am over 40 and I DO absolutely believe in LTR's...even at this age...smiling broadly here! Know I wish you the very best, my friend!!! Good luck...hugs...Clay

[jelli]

I will be back on the 14th when I am "officially" able to post here.

[Invictus]

Originally Posted by jelli

I will be back on the 14th when I am "officially" able to post here.

Please feel free to post now if you like, I doubt anyone here would be unwilling to "spot" you a few weeks

[ruthie14]

Anya, luv and (((clay))) thanks for your answers! It gets very discouraging here. I am not kidding when I tell you that I have given up. I am very tired of defending myself... tired of women looking at me like I'm from some antiquated age... tired of a lot of it, frankly.. I love butch/femme and I believe in ever after love.... if that makes me antiquated then so be it! The women here make me feel like it's just me that feels that way. It's making me a little crazy. I wanted to know if it was just this large circle of lesbians around here or a more global issue... not sure if we are a true representative of the world.... but I wanted to know... ask around, if you will.... I am very curious about this issue.

Thanks, Ruthie

[Invictus]

Originally Posted by ruthie14

Happy Sunday Lofters.. Wow it has really been slow around here!

I am curious... it seems in my circle of friends who are over 40 and single are only into friends with benefits or one night stands. Niether of which is ok for me... alright for them if that is what they want, just not ok for me.

I am wondering how many folks here feel the same way they do. You don't have to be single to answer the question, just answer as if you are single if you are not.

It just seems there are too few people that want the long term thing anymore. I am 49, I have had a few gfs but I have only been our for 5 years...some of which I was still married to a man and was not looking for a relationship with a woman at that time. It seems to me that only women who are under 40 even think about having a real relationship around here. If they are over 40 and believe that relationships are great... they are already in one.

ruthie, there are many of us here. Single folks looking for the long term
relationships we deserve.

[ruthie14]

thanks... but where are the ones in NJ? lol Thanks Invitcus maybe one day hy/she will come my way.


Until then, I will happily make plans for my 50th birthday in march... yes I am already making plans!!!!! Don't usually waste much time on my birthday.. but heck, 50 is a big one may as well live it up!

Have a great week and I will be very interested in hearing some of the responses from the folks you know if you care to join in the research. lol

Ruthie

[Gaige]

hello everyone. Hope you're all having a good summer. I'm being overworked but not really minding it...yet. I'm on day 9 of a 20 in a row work stint. Planning a vacation in September though. I want to get a place on the beach during Rohoboth Beach pride weekend. I haven't taken a real vacation in years so I'm looking forward to it. have a good night.

[Invictus]

Originally Posted by ruthie14

thanks... but where are the ones in NJ? lol Thanks Invitcus maybe one day hy/she will come my way.


Until then, I will happily make plans for my 50th birthday in march... yes I am already making plans!!!!! Don't usually waste much time on my birthday.. but heck, 50 is a big one may as well live it up!

Have a great week and I will be very interested in hearing some of the responses from the folks you know if you care to join in the research. lol

Ruthie

Ruthie, I can find NJ on a map, other than that I may not be much help in your search. There are single butches all over the planet (no pun intended). Its just a matter of finding the special one you are looking for.

Premature birthday wishes for your very special day

[ruthie14]

Have you ever been to Rehoboth Handsome? I have been there once a year ago and friends of mine just stayed at a reasonable b & b in the heart of everything. Let me know and i can pass on the info. They have a great little girl bar there that has some really cool musicians. Really nice place.

Don't work too hard and rest when you can!

Originally Posted by Handsome Devil

hello everyone. Hope you're all having a good summer. I'm being overworked but not really minding it...yet. I'm on day 9 of a 20 in a row work stint. Planning a vacation in September though. I want to get a place on the beach during Rohoboth Beach pride weekend. I haven't taken a real vacation in years so I'm looking forward to it. have a good night.

[Gaige]

Originally Posted by ruthie14

Have you ever been to Rehoboth Handsome? I have been there once a year ago and friends of mine just stayed at a reasonable b & b in the heart of everything. Let me know and i can pass on the info. They have a great little girl bar there that has some really cool musicians. Really nice place.

Don't work too hard and rest when you can!

Ruthie, i would love the info, especially any you have on clubs for women. I was there years ago when i was in my early 20's. I was actually staying in Ocean City, MD but drove up the coast to hit a club in Rohoboth called Square One. I'd really like to get an ocean front room so i'm kinda set on staying somewhere on the beach. thanks for the info Ruthie

btw, is the b&b for gays and lesbians?

[clay]

((((((((Ruthie)))))))))....know I loves ya!!! Take care....Clay

Originally Posted by ruthie14

Anya, luv and (((clay))) thanks for your answers! It gets very discouraging here. I am not kidding when I tell you that I have given up. I am very tired of defending myself... tired of women looking at me like I'm from some antiquated age... tired of a lot of it, frankly.. I love butch/femme and I believe in ever after love.... if that makes me antiquated then so be it! The women here make me feel like it's just me that feels that way. It's making me a little crazy. I wanted to know if it was just this large circle of lesbians around here or a more global issue... not sure if we are a true representative of the world.... but I wanted to know... ask around, if you will.... I am very curious about this issue.

Thanks, Ruthie

[morningstar55]

morning loft dwellers

[luv2luvgirls]

Morning to you morningstar
hope everyone has a good week,I cant believe its already monday