Are butches really a dying breed?

[Angeltoes]

Based on what I've read, 12% of the population is gay..maybe that's wrong, but based on that say half of that is lesbian and we're talking about 6% of population. How much of that percentage even ascribes to the butch/femme dynamic...? Even if you say half, that's 3%, half femme and half butch, so 1.5% of the population is butch...in America? How many of those butches live in Boise, Idaho?

*crickets* Not very many.

Maybe the lesbian population is larger than that, but it seems to me that most women are looking for someone to join them and their man in a threeway. On this site we have lots of dreamy people, but in Boise I don't see butches looking for femmes for romance and commitment.

[Kelt]

Originally Posted by Kobi

~maybe a butch gps system? We get chipped, they download the app, instant visibility and access! Hmm. Or instant stalkerism. I might need to rethink this one.

I vote we reverse engineer this just a little. I don't know about you, but 'visible' isn't much of a problem here. How about we chip the femmes so we can find them?

The techie in me reeally wants this app!

and I'm a super polite stalker...

[Sun]

Originally Posted by Angeltoes

Based on what I've read, 12% of the population is gay..maybe that's wrong, but based on that say half of that is lesbian and we're talking about 6% of population. How much of that percentage even ascribes to the butch/femme dynamic...? Even if you say half, that's 3%, half femme and half butch, so 1.5% of the population is butch...in America? How many of those butches live in Boise, Idaho?

*crickets* Not very many.

Maybe the lesbian population is larger than that, but it seems to me that most women are looking for someone to join them and their man in a threeway. On this site we have lots of dreamy people, but in Boise I don't see butches looking for femmes for romance and commitment.

You are right, the Butch Femme world can appear to be very small. Even in some urban area's the number of people who "get" the dynamic can be few and far between.

I want to speak to your comment on people looking for romance and a commitment. My experience is that the "right" person can be anywhere. You will hear me tell friends to stay open to meeting someone who they have a spark with and not to let location stand in the way. Sure, some people think that is just crazy but if someone is serious, and really wants to get to know you, they will move heaven and earth to do so.

There are many people that have done just that. Some folks are not tied to location and can relocate to pursue a relationship if it seems like the right thing to do. Life is short and we do not always get the chance to meet someone wonderful in our backyard. Sometimes it requires moving 3,000 miles away and starting over. That is what risk is all about and in matters of romance and commitment, risk is a given.

So please do not lose hope that someone is out there for you. The wonderful thing about this community is, as you say, there are dreamy people here who have already taken a risk just by being here and letting us see a little bit of who they are.

The numbers are just numbers. You have a lot more than numbers all around you.

[cinnamongrrl]

Originally Posted by Kelt

I vote we reverse engineer this just a little. I don't know about you, but 'visible' isn't much of a problem here. How about we chip the femmes so we can find them?

The techie in me reeally wants this app!

and I'm a super polite stalker...

I think it would be fun to carry balloons with our vital information on them...are we single...what are we looking for...interests/hobbies....etc....

[Allison W]

Originally Posted by Angeltoes

Based on what I've read, 12% of the population is gay..maybe that's wrong, but based on that say half of that is lesbian and we're talking about 6% of population. How much of that percentage even ascribes to the butch/femme dynamic...? Even if you say half, that's 3%, half femme and half butch, so 1.5% of the population is butch...in America? How many of those butches live in Boise, Idaho?

*crickets* Not very many.

Maybe the lesbian population is larger than that, but it seems to me that most women are looking for someone to join them and their man in a threeway. On this site we have lots of dreamy people, but in Boise I don't see butches looking for femmes for romance and commitment.

Really? I thought it was actually less than 10%, but perhaps I'm the one who's wrong--I've been wrong before. (If straight/bi butch women count--big "if"--then your final result might increase a tiny little bit, but something tells me they aren't super-common either and are also not the ones looking for a third for a three-way.)

[Duchess]

I Wrote A Good Omelet


I wrote a good omelet...and ate
a hot poem... after loving you

Buttoned my car...and drove my
coat home...in the rain...
after loving you


I goed on red...and stopped on
green...floating somewhere in between...
being here and being there...
after loving you


I rolled my bed...turned down
my hair...slightly
confused but...I don't care...


Laid out my teeth...and gargled my
gown...then I stood
...and laid me down...


To sleep...
after loving you

Written by Nikki Giovanni

[Allison W]

...also in response to Angeltoes' post (sorry I didn't notice this in time to include it in my last reply):

http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/foru...10&postcount=1

Props to Kobi for that post there.

[Sachita]

Originally Posted by Angeltoes

Based on what I've read, 12% of the population is gay..maybe that's wrong, but based on that say half of that is lesbian and we're talking about 6% of population. How much of that percentage even ascribes to the butch/femme dynamic...? Even if you say half, that's 3%, half femme and half butch, so 1.5% of the population is butch...in America? How many of those butches live in Boise, Idaho?

*crickets* Not very many.

Maybe the lesbian population is larger than that, but it seems to me that most women are looking for someone to join them and their man in a threeway. On this site we have lots of dreamy people, but in Boise I don't see butches looking for femmes for romance and commitment.

Thats 12% accounted for.

[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by Angeltoes

Based on what I've read, 12% of the population is gay..maybe that's wrong, but based on that say half of that is lesbian and we're talking about 6% of population. How much of that percentage even ascribes to the butch/femme dynamic...? Even if you say half, that's 3%, half femme and half butch, so 1.5% of the population is butch...in America? How many of those butches live in Boise, Idaho?

*crickets* Not very many.


Maybe the lesbian population is larger than that, but it seems to me that most women are looking for someone to join them and their man in a threeway.

On this site we have lots of dreamy people, but in Boise I don't see butches looking for femmes for romance and commitment.

Before I jump to any conclusions, I will give you the benefit of the doubt: did you just pack a couple of thoughts in one sentence?

I am referring to: "Maybe the lesbian population is larger than that, but it seems to me that most women are looking for someone to join them and their man in a threeway".

I am figuring you didn't mean lesbians were looking to join a straight couple in a three-way?

In regards to the scarcity of butches, I think that we need to get more creative in finding each other, since they don't generally knock on your door ( unless you invite them over).

Butches will never be a dying breed and neither will femmes; we are the other half of each other in this yin/yang dynamic that our souls need!

[Kobi]

Originally Posted by Kelt

I vote we reverse engineer this just a little. I don't know about you, but 'visible' isn't much of a problem here. How about we chip the femmes so we can find them?

The techie in me reeally wants this app!

and I'm a super polite stalker...

Hmmm. I suppose you want a special touch pad configuration femme finding device for the kayak stimulator too?

Ok it still tickles me that I misread kayak simulator as kayak stimulator.

I am heading out into the 66 mph wind gusts. Figuring I should be blown to Boise by 11:15 am est. Please have the coffee ready....cream and sugar.

[ScandalAndy]

I'm kind of torn on this topic.

On one hand, I am overjoyed and proud that so many self-identified butches are speaking up and saying "I'm here! I'm me! and I'm proud!" This is fantastic, encouraging, and all kinds of wonderful for a femme like me.

On the other hand, I'm super bummed because, while I see that there are butches around, I don't see any around me geographically and have yet to find someone who identifies as butch/masculine that is interested in dating me.

Maybe there are just other intersections going on that I don't know about, like age, body type, religion, etc. It's quite possible I'm just not anyone's cup of tea around here.

No matter the reason for my own searching, I'm glad the thread is here and there's so much discussion going on around it. Not being able to see those we are looking for often leads to the question "are they gone?". It makes sense we'd go looking in the most likely place, then: A forum with butches. So now where do we look in our daily lives?

[Angeltoes]

Originally Posted by *Anya*

Before I jump to any conclusions, I will give you the benefit of the doubt: did you just pack a couple of thoughts in one sentence?

I am referring to: "Maybe the lesbian population is larger than that, but it seems to me that most women are looking for someone to join them and their man in a threeway".

I am figuring you didn't mean lesbians were looking to join a straight couple in a three-way?

In regards to the scarcity of butches, I think that we need to get more creative in finding each other, since they don't generally knock on your door ( unless you invite them over).

Butches will never be a dying breed and neither will femmes; we are the other half of each other in this yin/yang dynamic that our souls need!

Yeah, I probably didn't make a lot of sense. That post came from a moment when I was feeling pretty down and not thinking clearly. Feel free to disregard the whole thing. To clarify, I am not saying lesbians are looking to join straight couples.

[Dub]

For me, I didn't claim the identity of Butch until I was 40 years old and that's mostly because of the idea that I didn't want to be labeled, and therefore, stereotyped. It wasn't until I attended Butch Voices in 2010 where I learned about some of our history and finally felt like there are others out there whom I could relate to that I proudly embraced the Butch identity.

Where I am in the US (the Pacific Northwest), it seems as thought the younger generation would rather define themselves as Genderqueer these days. I wonder, though, if they knew more about our history whether they would feel the same as I and claim that identity as part of themselves.

Growing up, I didn't have any Butch role models so finding them later in life helped me find that part of me. Does that make sense?

So, what I'm trying to get at is, perhaps there are Butches out there who just haven't come to yet claim their identity. At least that's what I'd like to believe rather then the think about us dying away.

[Femminator]

I was pretty darn happy to see several baby butches at the new coffee shop in the library by my house. One is half owner with her father, she is maybe 24or so. I don't believe that Butch is dying, I just think that the younger gen does not use that term much anymore. Kinda like the new 'Steampunk' dressing of the 00's, is actually the old New Wave dressing of the 80's . Same thing, different word.

[laruss]

Originally Posted by Femminator

I was pretty darn happy to see several baby butches at the new coffee shop in the library by my house. One is half owner with her father, she is maybe 24or so. I don't believe that Butch is dying, I just think that the younger gen does not use that term much anymore. Kinda like the new 'Steampunk' dressing of the 00's, is actually the old New Wave dressing of the 80's . Same thing, different word.

I think it might also be cultural. I was talking to a Butch friend at home and she does not identify as Butch, she identifies as Dyke. She has been a part of the Community in my home town for over 20 years and said that Butch is not a common term. I was surprised at this as I have not been a part of that community for long, but I have been a part of many others in different areas of the country and Butch is a term that is very much alive and well.

There are many women in that community that I would identify as Butch, but the term Butch is not what they are using to describe themselves.

I would love to do a poll on personal identities and then cross reference to see how many are involved in other communities and whether that influences their personal identity.

I know I am a huge geek, you don't have to tell me.

[TruTexan]

I think it's a geographical issue that some of us in more rural areas don't see femmes or butches out and about. I think it's more that there are larger communities that we choose to live in like Montrose in Houston, or other areas that are gay friendly possibly. I live an hour outside of Dallas in a small East Tx town that you could say HEE HAW VILLE. Population is less than 2,000. I"m the only lesbian in my town, I've never seen any others, butch or femme. Everyone around here is straight , trust me, I've asked around town. I'm all alone in HEE HAW VILLE and would love to find community here. I don't venture out to Dallas, tooo much traffic to deal with and I don't hang in bars or clubs. I'd rather hang out with folks at home and play card games, watch football together, boardgames, bbq, etc. Lots more fun to me to actually hang out and chat with folks..... than sit around and drink in a bar, get drunk and try to dance which is not my thing. I'm more of a introvert I guess. LOL
Are butches a dying breed....I don't think so....This Butch is VERY MUCH STILL AROUND and KICKING.

[Redsunflower]

What a dreadful thought, this thread is freaking me out.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by Redsunflower

What a dreadful thought, this thread is freaking me out.

Don't freak out!!! There's a few of them at the Winn Dixie right now....

[Redsunflower]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

Don't freak out!!! There's a few of them at the Winn Dixie right now....

Phew, thank goodness for that, I can breathe again!

[~ocean]

~ femmes & butch's aren't going anywhere ~ it's not nice to fool Mother Nature ~ )))