Neurodiversity

[Liam]

Originally Posted by Jude

Just posing one out of curiosity. Are there others who feel the need for more physical distance than the average person. I come from a family on the spectrum and suspect that I share some aspie charactertistics, most subtle.

What I have recently come to realize about myself is that I sometimes, even randomly, feel the almost desperate need to step away physically. I feel very uncomfortable when people are directly in my face addressing me. My daughter brought this up and I hadn't been consciously aware until now. Outside of very personal intimacy, I really don't like people's heads in my face or literally breathing down my neck. Friendly hugs are wonderful, but come with a time limit. Sometimes I just need to walk out in the midst of commotion and be alone for 10 minutes.

Does "IN YOUR FACE" send shudders up anyone elses' backbone?

I have always been uncomfortable, with the typical seventeen inches most folks are comfortable with. I am comfortable hugging only those I know very well. I am extremely uncomfortable in large crowds and rarely subject myself to them.

[Andrew, Jr.]

I was told by Rosie to post the following information so it's public for all to read.

I have TBI - Traumatic Brain Injury (left temporal lobe)
Asperger's
Developmental Disabilities - like learning disabilities


I don't stalk people online. That is illegal. What I do is I go and read and reread what they write. I have what is called mind blindness. If you walked in front of me, I would not be able to tell you hi because I have no idea of who you were or what your dog or cat's name is, or if you are allergic to pets.

I have tics. It is frustrating. Not funny or to be made fun of. You have no idea.

I have seizures.

The movie "Adam" is wonderful in showing Asperger's. I recommend it for everyone to rent. Another wonderful movie is "Temple Gredin" for Autism.

Andrew

PS: If you want to ask me any question, please feel free too.

[Nat]

Thanks for reviving this thread. I've been wanting it lately. I heard some things about ADHD and wanted to share - for others who have it and for those who deal with us regularly.

I heard an interview recently where it was mentioned that people without ADHD have brains that function in beta waves during alert activity and work, but that the front of the ADHD brain tends to function in theta waves (the waves usually found as a person is falling asleep). This helps explain our function impairment but also our abilities to free-associate heavily - which is often something non-adhd people end up doing as they try to fall asleep. Anyway, I hadn't heard this before, but I found it on the Conversations with Mensa podcast show "Taking Control of ADD."

We ADHD folks have trouble with "executive function": categorizing, prioritizing and initiating action. We also have social deficits. We have poor inhibition control / high impulsivity. We don't always understand the *rules* of social interaction or business life. About 50% of us have some OCD symtoms and about 30% of OCD folks have some ADHD symptoms. About 50% of us will struggle with substance abuse issues at some point in our lives. As kids, we're often told that we are not performing to our potential, that we need to apply ourselves more, that we are lazy. The truth is that we are applying ourselves probably twice as hard and our results are half as successful.

I found a diagram once regarding problem-solving and comparing ADHD to Aspergers. Both are neuro-biological and they have both similarities and differences. I would say our similarities are - that we don't always understand the social cues and unwritten rules of conversation and social behavior and often we will be attracted to and collect unusual sets of knowledge. This problem-solving diagram showed something interesting though about our differences. If an ADHD person is presented with a problem, we are very quick to say, "screw this" and abandon whatever it is we are working on. Then, we will work it out in the back of our minds and sometimes we will come back and actually have a greater attention span for fixing the problem to the end. Aspies have a much longer time - longer than non-aspie folks - before they hit the "screw this" stage. That stamina among aspies is extremely effective for Aspies though it may cause them to focus on something counterproductive at some points.

[Andrew, Jr.]

I think if more people watched the movie "Adam" would understand more.

[Venus007]

I have a very difficult time with personal space, even sometimes from people I am close to or intimate with. If I am concentrating, overstimulated in any way (visually, emotionally, or auditory etc.) too hot, too cold or pretty much anything other than comfortable and relaxed physical touch is too much for me, it almost hurts and it disrupts my ability to think. I have learned to tolerate the accidental invasions of the people around me (it feels like an invasion often) I try not to get snippy or pull violently away but sometimes I still flinch. (So irritating when trying to appear typical) Even more difficult for me is that from people I love I need to be touched to feel connected. What a shitty conundrum.

Most large crowds are too much for me, I can make myself deal with them (although I usually avoid them) afterword I am very quiet and withdrawn and NEED to be alone for awhile.

Strangely enough I can totally handle a large crowd when I am dancing, there instead of feeling like an invasion or like pain, the touch and movement feel welcome, like I am a part a great writhing joyful unified transcendence. Perhaps because the strong beat unifies everything, or perhaps because when I am dancing I feel completely free and loose like I am in the hot center of being, or perhaps because I have a special relationship with music that over rides everything else.

Originally Posted by Jude

Just posing one out of curiosity. Are there others who feel the need for more physical distance than the average person. (snip)
Does "IN YOUR FACE" send shudders up anyone elses' backbone?

[violaine]

Venus,

i totally understand about the flinching! there's an earlier post on this somewhere about my not even realising that i pulled away/flinched at times; but my boyfriend saw it [and filled in missing pieces for me later whenever i wondered aloud what happened during a strange and/or awkward greeting/departure]. same way for me with a crowd- if music is good, and i'm dancing, everything else [sensory issues] tend to fade if i'm out of my head-happy/happy.

[violaine]

http://www.sheldrickwildlifetrust.or...sheldrick.html

this woman amazes me. she developed a formula, after twenty-eight years for these precious babies, which is coconut milk-based.

[violaine]

http://memebase.com/category/socially-awkward-penguin/

[Quintease]

I'm ADD, my brother is an aspie. I'd love to read this thread but it's too long..

[Quintease]

Originally Posted by Nat

I found a diagram once regarding problem-solving and comparing ADHD to Aspergers.

I want to see this!

[violaine]

http://www.connecticutspecialeducati...ggshell-skull/

[Andrew, Jr.]

I know I am different. But does anyone else feel _________ when other people in public/private, make obvious remarks or comments that are not so nice about you? I know people will say things that go right over my head. I don't even know that I am to respond or have no clue as to what to say. Sometimes I don't even realize that they are insulting me. I struggle with this.

Does anyone else?

[violaine]

[QUOTE=Andrew, Jr.;331850]
I know I am different. But does anyone else feel _________ when other people in public/private, make obvious remarks or comments that are not so nice about you? I know people will say things that go right over my head. I don't even know that I am to respond or have no clue as to what to say. Sometimes I don't even realize that they are insulting me. I struggle with this.

Does anyone else?


in school, i probably did not notice being bullied so much. there was one time, i was asked to meet some 'friends' at a specific location; right before i left my house, the phone rang with a warning from a trusted friend who found out the intentions of the people were to pick a fight with me. i had totally missed everything related to their plans, and would have shown up at the spot.

that's human though, and not necessarily spectrum related. i do believe i'm not looking for mean spirited people around every corner, and being on-guard 24/7 would totally wear me out. what i can share with you, andrew, about 'not knowing how to respond' is this, please: processing information can take time- sometimes much longer depending upon wiring, the scenario, health, and many other variables. if i am upset and/or very confused- i will not be able to put into words my feelings- i just feel [and the feeling is enough to know things are not right for me]. later on, i can articulate better the circumstances and how i was effected/affected.

it's like when i used to get lost- maybe pass my own house- and would wonder, what was 'wrong' with me? usually, i was having an anxiety/panic attack and it made sense that i was terribly confused. people who are intentionally unkind may use this in their arsenal- someone may bank on their 'target' feeling too confused to respond immediately - if at all. on one hand, it's a good thing on the other hand, finding the words- the ones 'perceived' to be the 'right words' can be frustrating if you are needing to be yourself- and just get the words out as an expression of self- in your own way. especially, if you are responding to someone who was unkind [set you up to fail] in the first place!

[Andrew, Jr.]

Oh Belle,

I knew you would get it! Yes, I was very much bullied in shcool. It was nothing short of hell for me. I stuck with sports mostly because this. It was a way for me to have a release, like playing tennis and football. I just loved it.

There are some days Belle, I feel like I need one of those GPS's to get me from my house to my car or mailbox. Or I walk by someone and they get mad at me for not saying hi to them. Now I just hug and say hi to everyone. That way nobody gets upset, hurt, or insulted, or whatever.

Now I just wonder about my future a great deal. I think as I have aged and have disabilities, with no family to really speak of, who is going to care for me when and if Rosie dies, or if I have a massive stroke leaving me even more disabled. Life is very hard now, and adding on to this, makes me think a great deal of the future.

Belle, you rock!

[Venus007]

I am tired today. Tired of the neurotypical with their loud voices, shrieking vocalizations, bright lights, clanging banging hubbub. Tired of their secret code of subtext that is different from what they say and that they penalize you for not understanding that they don't say what they mean, you're just supposed to read their minds. Tired of people standing too close, touching without invitation. Tired of strangers or rather non-intimates prying for emotion. I am tired of people today. I want solitude with my dogs. I want to not talk for a week. Today I am tired.

[violaine]

do any of you have an aspie support group in your area? there is one here, in orlando at UcF, and some of the presentations are really good.


christie, thought of you with this article:

http://www.theautismnews.com/2009/09...s-for-college/

[Andrew, Jr.]

No adult aspie group in my area. However, there is one for children - thank God!

The one thing I will say is this...I wish I could read faces and body language better. I just don't. It goes right over my head.

[violaine]

andrew, my friend [i am going to write about in a moment here] is a rocket scientist- literally, and he says the same thing you are writing. he cannot read body language and/or figure out what people are 'thinking.'

have you ever attended any of the groups for young adults/parents/supporters ? that's how i met one of my closest friends; he and i were the only adults there for a while, and the parents/supporters were very interested in our contributions to the group.

just an idea : sometimes if you are in a space to give of yourself, that can be a rewarding experience.

[Andrew, Jr.]

I rely on others for help when in public or dealing with a business type of event. I have experienced some pretty humilitating situations that were really nobody's fault, but a knee jerk reaction.

I am going to research your idea. Thanks for that thought!

[violaine]

i wanted to mention that my aspie friend [above post] met his girlfriend at a support group, and she is into permaculture in maine. he is quite a bit younger; their age difference is by fourteen years, and works beautifully. i might wonder about dating someone that much younger than myself who is not on the spectrum, but in AS to AS relationships, i would have few concerns age-wise.