Healthy Weight Loss

[Lady_Di]

Originally Posted by deedarino

OMG I am mortified and freakin' dyin over here at the same time!!! LOLOL

So sorry for your....well...you know...

*Giving the girls a little squeeze of appreciation*

It was hilarious, actually...

[sylvie]

Good morning Healthies.. ♥

Went to my Dietician appt on Wednesday..i didn't gain!
i actually lost 1 lb.. (in 2 months) but.. without exercising or really following my plan, i am happy to know that once i do lose the weight i want to lose, i 'can' & will maintain it!

So, 99 lbs lost total, since April of 2011 - and i got myself back on track.
Yesterday,i went for a 3 1/2 hour long walk, beautiful day & i stopped to visit my godmother's grave and spent some time with her, also found a spot to meditate along the way and meditated along my walk..

By the time i got home, i felt wonderful for the exercise, and much peace within..Today, i just got home from a walk again (am between work shifts) and i feel so strong...

Also, found my triggers from these last couple of months, working on those.
i'm in a healthy, happy place again, and ready to rock this.

♥

[sylvie]

Lady_Di, thank YOU!
So needed the kick in the pants to get back at SparkPeople.
It was doing me so much good motivationwise and i fell off of it..
And really, i love that site..
Going to log on there right now, and get it restarted again and keep at it faithfully..

Candace, (((hugggs))) You got this girl! Lemme know if you wanna skype tonight again. Love how we can motivate each other in different ways. And i'm here for you anytime..♥

JoSchmooze, congratulations on 50 lbs, i seen your pic on fb, and you are rockin it!

Hollylane, you probably won't check in here for a bit, but enjoy your time on the East Coast darlin, i'm super happy for you both ♥

[JustJo]

Hey healthies

I haven't posted as much lately...mostly because I've been frustrated and angry and having a little pity party.

So I had my latest doctor's appointment and got my lab results. All is good except that my A1c is up to 7.1 - which is "damage is happening" territory.

Meanwhile I'm exercising faithfully, eating pretty well, dropping weight and frankly looking and feeling better than I have in a long time. The rise in A1c is completely due to going off the Actos....because it may increase the chance of bladder cancer, but it's a darn effective diabetes drug.

So I'm frustrated....because it feels like I'm working hard and doing great and, when it comes to the diabetes, I'm losing anyway.

I'm angry....because it feels like no matter how hard I work it doesn't make enough difference to count....because "other people" can drink soda and eat candy and generally pig out and not have to deal with this disease that would like to blind me and put me in a wheelchair or worse....because I know the judgement is out there in the world that I'm diabetic because I'm lazy or fat or eat garbage, when the reality is that I'm diabetic because of my genetics and all I can do, and only through intense, sustained effort is to moderate the effect of my genetics a tiny bit.

And I'm having a little pity party...because it just isn't fucking fair.

So...my choices, as presented by the doctor:

• go back on the Actos and monitor urine samples faithfully to catch any cancer early if it happens, but recognize it dramatically increases the risk
• double up the glimiperide....which I was hoping to get off of completely because it's the drug that makes me feel sick. It also scares me because it forces the pancreas to produce insulin....which feels a little like I'm whipping a tired horse....something that generally doesn't end well.
• or.....well.....that's it. Those are my choices.

I recognize that in many ways I am fortunate. I have health insurance (with a huge deductible, but still...insurance). I have a good doctor and easy access to medical care. I have the funds to buy healthy food. I have the knowledge of how to cook and eat to maintain my health.

I have it better than many. I know that.

But I also have it worse than many too....who can go eat a candy bar and not have to wonder what it's doing to their eyes, or their feet, or their kidneys, or.....

[Leigh]

Originally Posted by JustJo

Hey healthies

I haven't posted as much lately...mostly because I've been frustrated and angry and having a little pity party.

So I had my latest doctor's appointment and got my lab results. All is good except that my A1c is up to 7.1 - which is "damage is happening" territory.

Meanwhile I'm exercising faithfully, eating pretty well, dropping weight and frankly looking and feeling better than I have in a long time. The rise in A1c is completely due to going off the Actos....because it may increase the chance of bladder cancer, but it's a darn effective diabetes drug.

So I'm frustrated....because it feels like I'm working hard and doing great and, when it comes to the diabetes, I'm losing anyway.

I'm angry....because it feels like no matter how hard I work it doesn't make enough difference to count....because "other people" can drink soda and eat candy and generally pig out and not have to deal with this disease that would like to blind me and put me in a wheelchair or worse....because I know the judgement is out there in the world that I'm diabetic because I'm lazy or fat or eat garbage, when the reality is that I'm diabetic because of my genetics and all I can do, and only through intense, sustained effort is to moderate the effect of my genetics a tiny bit.

And I'm having a little pity party...because it just isn't fucking fair.

So...my choices, as presented by the doctor:

• go back on the Actos and monitor urine samples faithfully to catch any cancer early if it happens, but recognize it dramatically increases the risk
• double up the glimiperide....which I was hoping to get off of completely because it's the drug that makes me feel sick. It also scares me because it forces the pancreas to produce insulin....which feels a little like I'm whipping a tired horse....something that generally doesn't end well.
• or.....well.....that's it. Those are my choices.

I recognize that in many ways I am fortunate. I have health insurance (with a huge deductible, but still...insurance). I have a good doctor and easy access to medical care. I have the funds to buy healthy food. I have the knowledge of how to cook and eat to maintain my health.

I have it better than many. I know that.

But I also have it worse than many too....who can go eat a candy bar and not have to wonder what it's doing to their eyes, or their feet, or their kidneys, or.....

Thank you for posting this

[justkim]

When I look in the mirror I still see that FAT girl...
Today I went and got some new clothes for work...
I have been wearing my larger sized clothes to hide...
Hide who I was and who I am becoming... It felt safe... I felt safe...
Then I got the promotion at work and realized I needed to not look so frumpy...
You can not work in this industry and look frumpy...
Even though the sizes were much smaller than I expected, I still saw that FAT girl in the mirror...
I am trying so hard to change how *I* see myself...

[imperfect_cupcake]

It is pretty hard to change the view of self. I have pretty bad body dismorphia at times so I have NO idea how big or small I am. I have lost 23 Kilos. that's over 50 pounds.

Unfortunately about 30 pounds of it was not healthy weight loss. It happend when my wife left me and I stopped eating and shook constantly. I didn't eat for almost a month and then anything solid I ate would cause severe pain and come right back up. I had given myself very bad gastritis an on the way to an ulcer.

So I slowly over another three weeks began to be able to eat.

since then I have completely changed my eating habits and I'm in training. I no longer diet. I eat anything I want but I have found I don't really want much. I can't eat nearly close to what I used to and things like doughnuts take hideous. I still love cheese though.

I don't eat shit not because I'm dieting, but because I don't crave them. I have no idea how this happened. I just don't want them.

I went to therapy to address some of my issues in the marriage and found that my biggest issues that were at the core of everything: my depression, stress reactions, binge eating etc all came from a desperate need for space. Because I caretake too much. I then get burnt out and when I got a couple hours to myself I would carbload so drug myself because of my high stress levels.

since I have noticed that my binge eating is purely about exhaustion, I am far more vigilant about ensuring I have down time, by myself, doing wtf I want. I also listen to soothing hypnosis relaxation cds at night when I go to sleep.

I think this is probably why I don't crave anywhere near to what I used to. My driving myself far too hard and caretaking other people till I collapse. Stressing out and trying to control my environment.

I'm now down to a UK size 16 (US 14) and I want to lose one more size.

The only draw back I've noticed is the attention I'm getting. I'm getting sexually harassed more and I'm finding I get a lot of strange reactions from the dyke community. I am pretty girlie but it seemed my weight made the girly bits ok. Now they seem to suspect me of something but I haven't figured out what. No one talks to me when I go to socials. I have to throw myself at someone to get a conversation.

My feelings are getting hurt quite a bit when I go out. People call me intimidating, predatory, that I will eat someone alive... I have no CLUE where it's coming from but the only things that's changed about me is my size and I have a bit more self confidence. And I've lost a wife to divorce, which also puts me in the slightly sad headspace.

I do sometimes wish I was back at a size 20 where I wasn't threatening to people. I won't though because I love the clothes I can get now and it's easier to move around a massage table and work. But I am a bit down about how people are treating me after losing weight and gaining some of my confidence back, that was hard won after being left, let me tell you.

[sylvie]

Good Morning all..
The last few days have been really good days, & i know i am finally back on track. my motivation & energy are back full force, finally - this makes me a very happy girl!

So my goals for the next 3 days are :

- hit the gym (tomorrow & friday)
- thursday, i will walk to & from work the long way for both shifts (that'll be 2 hours of walking total)
- drink lots more water..
- portion my food faithfully & stick to my meal plans..

& today, i got out my book on Training to Run, which i got from a friend..
& i am starting the program on Monday! So lots of reading to do..
my goal is to run my first marathon with my friend as soon as i complete the training program and feel ready.. What an accomplishment that will be..

Happy Tuesday Healthies! ♥

[Ginger]

The best thing for losing weight is unrequited lust. IMO.

[JoSchmooze]

I too, have not posted in a while....
I am fighting internally with this journey...
On Thursday I posted a pic on my FB status showing
the 50 lbs I have lost since Feb 3, 2012.....
I am in a bit of a slump and have doubts about the hCG diet.
Al the Russian tells me I am "starving myself"....I listen to
the voice in my head (oh, did I tell you that I am
feeling slightly nutz right about now?) that muscle
weighs more than fat....I see how my body is
reshaping itself but for some damned reason I am angry.....

Angry at not getting anywhere as quickly as promised....
Angry at giving in, telling myself that my body needs more to
eat to maintain muscle and tone.

Angry that I feel like I am, all of a sudden
feeling like I am binging (really? binging?? A handful of
walnuts to replace protein used up in training??)
and then purging by using fiber supplements
so that I can shed pounds......
And frustrated that when I see the doc on Friday it
will appear that no weight has been lost this month
even though I have lost and gained the same freakin
five pounds over and over again this past month.....

Angry and frustrated enough to chuck it all, stop this madness
and eat a pint of B&J...or go over to that BBQ place I pass
every time I go to the gym and order a rack of ribs and just sit there
and wolf them down!

Done, done, done with the rant.....
Sorry......

[Lady_Di]

Originally Posted by JoSchmooze

I too, have not posted in a while....
I am fighting internally with this journey...
On Thursday I posted a pic on my FB status showing
the 50 lbs I have lost since Feb 3, 2012.....
I am in a bit of a slump and have doubts about the hCG diet.
Al the Russian tells me I am "starving myself"....I listen to
the voice in my head (oh, did I tell you that I am
feeling slightly nutz right about now?) that muscle
weighs more than fat....I see how my body is
reshaping itself but for some damned reason I am angry.....

Angry at not getting anywhere as quickly as promised....
Angry at giving in, telling myself that my body needs more to
eat to maintain muscle and tone.

Angry that I feel like I am, all of a sudden
feeling like I am binging (really? binging?? A handful of
walnuts to replace protein used up in training??)
and then purging by using fiber supplements
so that I can shed pounds......
And frustrated that when I see the doc on Friday it
will appear that no weight has been lost this month
even though I have lost and gained the same freakin
five pounds over and over again this past month.....

Angry and frustrated enough to chuck it all, stop this madness
and eat a pint of B&J...or go over to that BBQ place I pass
every time I go to the gym and order a rack of ribs and just sit there
and wolf them down!

Done, done, done with the rant.....
Sorry......

as I was driving back to Colorado, one of the radio newscaster said something about a recent study of how facebook is upping eating disorders and lowering people's self esteem, yadda yadda ya

welp, it don't have to be that way

we all have ups and downs and beat ourselves up from time to time. You know you doing it to yourself, too. We do take responsibility for our lot in life, at least most of us do here, no?

I have faith in you. If you feel you have stumbled or are not exactly where you want to be at right now... well....

there is a sign at my home group which I simply adore -

If you do not like where you are at...

Do Not Stop.





Keeping coming back and never ever give up, no matter what you may be feeling, experiencing at this moment. Like a soldier I saw at the VA yesterday said to me. Reminding me of this -

Today is a good day to die!
AND a good day to fight.

wooooah!!!

the question is... what are you fighting for, who are you fighting for... or shall ye surrender and give up.

Never!

woooooah!!

One day, one hour, somedays... one second at a time. Each moment can be and truly is a new beginning.
d'who loves her veterans~

[Lady_Di]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

It is pretty hard to change the view of self. I have pretty bad body dismorphia at times so I have NO idea how big or small I am. I have lost 23 Kilos. that's over 50 pounds.

Unfortunately about 30 pounds of it was not healthy weight loss. It happend when my wife left me and I stopped eating and shook constantly. I didn't eat for almost a month and then anything solid I ate would cause severe pain and come right back up. I had given myself very bad gastritis an on the way to an ulcer.

So I slowly over another three weeks began to be able to eat.

since then I have completely changed my eating habits and I'm in training. I no longer diet. I eat anything I want but I have found I don't really want much. I can't eat nearly close to what I used to and things like doughnuts take hideous. I still love cheese though.

I don't eat shit not because I'm dieting, but because I don't crave them. I have no idea how this happened. I just don't want them.

I went to therapy to address some of my issues in the marriage and found that my biggest issues that were at the core of everything: my depression, stress reactions, binge eating etc all came from a desperate need for space. Because I caretake too much. I then get burnt out and when I got a couple hours to myself I would carbload so drug myself because of my high stress levels.

since I have noticed that my binge eating is purely about exhaustion, I am far more vigilant about ensuring I have down time, by myself, doing wtf I want. I also listen to soothing hypnosis relaxation cds at night when I go to sleep.

I think this is probably why I don't crave anywhere near to what I used to. My driving myself far too hard and caretaking other people till I collapse. Stressing out and trying to control my environment.

I'm now down to a UK size 16 (US 14) and I want to lose one more size.

The only draw back I've noticed is the attention I'm getting. I'm getting sexually harassed more and I'm finding I get a lot of strange reactions from the dyke community. I am pretty girlie but it seemed my weight made the girly bits ok. Now they seem to suspect me of something but I haven't figured out what. No one talks to me when I go to socials. I have to throw myself at someone to get a conversation.

My feelings are getting hurt quite a bit when I go out. People call me intimidating, predatory, that I will eat someone alive... I have no CLUE where it's coming from but the only things that's changed about me is my size and I have a bit more self confidence. And I've lost a wife to divorce, which also puts me in the slightly sad headspace.

I do sometimes wish I was back at a size 20 where I wasn't threatening to people. I won't though because I love the clothes I can get now and it's easier to move around a massage table and work. But I am a bit down about how people are treating me after losing weight and gaining some of my confidence back, that was hard won after being left, let me tell you.

wow, honey... this needed to be repeated. In awe of you and the work you put in, not just about your body, but also your headspace

I too have done a lot of 'work' with an excellent therapist after this last break up from hell and the house of lies it was built on. Learned a heck of a whole lot and I am truly grateful for the knowledge. But why o why does learning and growing have to come from such pain?

As for being treated differently, wow... I did not even think that part of why I was being treated differently this last week back in my home state was the weight loss of the last year. From the not eating after my heart break, to the taking active participation in my health, which was part of my healing circle this last year.

I thought it was some new femme pheromone I was exuding.... or something... attracting attention, over and over again, catching someone checking me out and acknowledging that I exist. I am no longer invisible, I think it is that simple. Our wt makes us disappear from most people's radar in this pucked up world we live in. That is reality.

anyhows, I am proud of you HB, and sad that the community you are in is treating you that way. I have to think that they are just terribly human and have compassion for them as well as you. Not one of us is perfect. I take comfort in that. ***there is a philosophical paradox, if you meet the buddha on the road, just shoot him. In other words, none of us are perfect, if they say or think they are, well... they are not, it is utter and complete bullhockey.***

Just sucks green monkey dicks, as Rita Mae Brown once lamented a long long time ago~

[Rockinonahigh]

Over the last fue months of dealing with on going back troubles and more pain than I care to admit to,tomorrow im going to the top chiropractor in this area.I told my orthopedic about doing that cause I need pain releif thats not based on meds,he wants me in the gym 3x a week but I have to much pain in my tail bone and down my left leg wich is really messing up everything I do.Heck I cant sit for long,stand much,geting out of a chair or going up any amount of stairs is way more than I can handle.I ask about the injections but he says after I give working out and loseing more weight,I really need to reduce or find a way to stop this pain as its causeing me to become a real big pissy grouch wich is so not who I am.To top it off my bad left knee is ding something nasty that hurts bad.I will admit I feel a bit depresed because I really was counting on the ortho to come up with ansers of some kind wich hasnthappened....yes im takeing care of that to and have an app with a counselor.
The good news is I have lost a couple of pounds just doing what I can along with really watching what and how much I eat.

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by justkim

When I look in the mirror I still see that FAT girl...
Today I went and got some new clothes for work...
I have been wearing my larger sized clothes to hide...
Hide who I was and who I am becoming... It felt safe... I felt safe...
Then I got the promotion at work and realized I needed to not look so frumpy...
You can not work in this industry and look frumpy...
Even though the sizes were much smaller than I expected, I still saw that FAT girl in the mirror...
I am trying so hard to change how *I* see myself...

(((((((( Kim )))))))))))

i am so frustrated, same few pounds coming and going and for 6 weeks have done whatever i know how to get it to MOVE off and stay off.

My goal was to be down those 15 pounds by my NOLA trip in June. It isn't happening and i'm completely down about it.

[sylvie]

Good Morning Healthies,

Off to walk uptown, and then heading to the Gym.
i am really humbled by some of the people in my life, who are so willing to use their own time and help me develop a program..

A guy i work with, is really going above and beyond for me ..
And Candace and i have been working together everyday as well, via Skype and sharing our journeys, she's amazing, inspiring & came along at such a good time .. We share the same journey and passion to healthy ourselves up..

And then, you all here.. Between reps, messages, motivation & tips..
Thank you all for being here each and every day!
Sincerely, i am so grateful for you all ♥

[justkim]

I think you look fabulous! Ride the bike everywhere... I bet you will be dropping the weight by the time you leave now that you can get outside and move.
Be kind to yourself... This is something I keep reminding myself to do...

You got this!

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee

(((((((( Kim )))))))))))

i am so frustrated, same few pounds coming and going and for 6 weeks have done whatever i know how to get it to MOVE off and stay off.

My goal was to be down those 15 pounds by my NOLA trip in June. It isn't happening and i'm completely down about it.

[Lady_Di]

From someone I respect greatly... we were discussing pain and suffering, don't even remember why that was the topic, but this is great way to look at it.

...about change

changing

challenges and everyday stuff

There are 2 ways to grow...


Thru pain because we have to

OR

Thru love because we want to


The decision is ultimately yours


I think this was in reference to my complaining about why o why does pain have to be part of this change process, not even sure which changing process I was talking about. But the truth is resistance is futile. lol...Change is gonna happen. The point I think she was making to me is how we can choose to view that change. Thru the eyes of love and care, or by resisting and arguing, fighting.





...not that pain is always a bad thing, just sayin~

[JoSchmooze]

On the way home from the gym,
I stopped at the Costco to get almonds and walnuts...
They had shorts on sale....
AHA!! I got into a smaller size.....
Neener, neener, neener
to being angry......

Keep on trucking, folks....
It does get better.....

[yotlyolqualli]

Diabetes runs through my family tree, like watered down sap. It comes from both sides, and so, it was no surprise to me to be diagnosed with it when I was 31 years old. My eldest sister, ten years older than I, had been fighting the disease for about seven years before I was diagnosed. By that time, her diabetes had affected her eyes and had begun to affect her feet and legs. By the time I was 37, she had lost one foot, several toes and her eyesight to the disease. My diabetes was more out of control and took much larger doses of insulin, than she did. She is now 52, and in total renal failure, needing dialysis, three times a week. I was also on medicine for high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

So, knowing, by my sister's example, what was in store for me, I began looking into what options I had. My doctor began pushing me towards gastric bypass. Insulin, while controlling diabetes, also damages your kidneys. He told me that I was too young to be on so much insulin. Anyway, after prayer, alot of back and forth self arguing, I finally decided to go with the bypass, but on my terms. I refused to use the bariatric center he wanted to refer me too, and took it upon myself to find the best doctor and the best medical center. After searching, I settled on the bariatric weightloss center at Hershey Medical center in Hershey, Pa.

I went through a 6 month program, learning about the different procedures that could be done and learning about what would happen after surgery, what and how to eat after surgery. (I lost 91 pounds on my own, 31 of them, during this 6 month period)

I lucked out, was referred to the head bariatric surgeon, and on 12/10/07 I underwent a roux-en-y laproscopic gastric bypass. My pre-surgical weight was 268 and my lowet weight after surgery, was 135. I gained weight back, due to several things, and want to lose about 20 pounds now.

This is not the easiest path to take. The bypass caused me to have my gall bladder removed, to have a bowel obstruction and was, in part, responsible for a massive internal bleed in the spring of 2011.

Now, I am chronically anemic (to the point of needing IV infusions of iron, at times) I am considered chronically mal-nourished and my hemoglobin has a tendency to drop, causing the need for blood transfusions.

I am back to walking 3-5 miles daily but am not allowed to push myself. Anemia=dizziness= a high rish of falls. A high risk of falling + my bloods slowness to clot could = bad bad stuff, so I am limited to 5 miles a day.

In the end, the surgery, though having caused and still causing alot of problems, my daibetes has been completely resolved. All of my A1C's have been normal and I can eat pretty much, a normal diet. I am also off ALL midications, except for vitamin and nutritional supplements. I am cautious about what I eat, and can't tolerate any trans fat, but other than that, I'm doing alright.

This, again, was/is not the easy way to weight loss. It's just a tool that I used/use to reach and maintain a much healthier weight and lifestyle.

My motto, throughout all of this was and is... if I screw up today..I'll start over again in the morning. Like, if I eat a candy bar (it makes me sick to do so.. literally, but damn it... monthly homoromal changes DEMAND chocolate..lol) or I choose to stay in bed instead of walking; instead of allowing that to mess with my head and compound the damage, I simply wipe the slate clean and start over in the morning.

It can be done, no matter what tool you use, all you have to do is resolve to do it.

Also, when I look in the mirror, I still see that 359 pound woman staring back at me. I still look at chairs speculatively, to see if they will hold my weight. I still hold up a new shirt in the store and think, "no way in hell!" but I am slowly beginning to shed that "skin" as well.

Just learn to believe in yourself and it will happen.

Take care and God bless.

[PinkieLee]

Good morning & happy Friday Eve all y'all healthy peeps!

I know, it seems as though it's been forever since I've posted in here. I faithfully read about each & every accomplishment, struggle and celebration and have been cheering y'all on!

I'm not gonna lie... I've been struggling REALLY bad for the last couple of months. This year has been hard... fuckin' hard. It's taken a toll on me physically, emotionally & spiritually. Every day I wake up and say today is gonna be a better day. For the most part, it has been. We have two choices every single day on how we are gonna face the day... I'm doing my best to keep the positive energy flowing no matter what.

I've been dealing with some self sabotaging behaviors lately. Awhile back I let a conversation I had with someone affect me... and those old ways of thinking crept back in the forefront of my brain. I felt defensive, shamed & my vision of myself took a hard blow.

So, please know that just because I haven't been posting here as often as I should, I am continuing this journey (all be it back at square one) with all of you. Thank you for always offering words of support, encouragement and friendship to all those that come here. You all rock!