02-24-2011, 08:10 AM | #21 |
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Good Morning Queers!
I love poppin' in and seeing more names in this thread. I have a job interview today, and my queer ass is NERVOUS! Wish me luck and think good thoughts for me. It is for a job at the local women's shelter. My daughter works there, and I think it would suit me so well. So I'm off to shower and get ready. Be back later! Love & Peace yo!
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02-24-2011, 09:35 AM | #22 | |
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02-24-2011, 09:37 AM | #23 | |
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They're gonna LOVE you!!! How could they not?? Good luck, I KNOW you'll nail this (cuz you nail well, just sayin ) |
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02-24-2011, 09:47 AM | #24 | |
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02-24-2011, 10:54 AM | #25 |
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Good luck with your interview.
When I use the word "Queer" to describe myself it's more about solidarity with the rest of the non-straights than it is about my actual orientation. There's a lot of crossover for the LGBTIQ communities (whether some people want to admit it or not) in terms of experiences, struggle, culture, and outside perception - so it's important to me that that gets recognised. Since Queer is a word that both means nothing and everything at the exact same time - it's the one that I took on for myself.
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02-24-2011, 12:27 PM | #26 |
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To me it has been such a mysterious word ~ queer ~. When I first came across it in reference to the LGTBQ community I really wanted to understand what it meant when someone called themself Queer. I grew up with it being used as a derogatory term. So, it sullied my view of the word. So, in my attempts to educate myself I am grateful for the comments and thoughts that have been shared.
So thank you and I look forward to reading more comments and thoughts on the identity of queer.
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02-24-2011, 07:10 PM | #27 |
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Queer femme fits me best. Lesbian, gay or just femme does not adequately describe me though I would be fine if anyone applied those labels to me. Queer encompasses the whole of me.
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04-06-2011, 06:28 PM | #28 |
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I've had a lot of conversations about this, as being a lesbian with a boyfriend causes a few raised eyebrows y'know..
I don't ID as queer, though I assume I will one day.. it wasn't relevant in my former lesbian life. I am aware that Queer has a lot of history and value, probably as much as lesbian, and it would also be an umbrella my bf would be happy to stand under with me. One day I will make the switch, much like that fateful day when I decided I didn't need chocolate any more and began eating dried fruit instead.
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04-28-2011, 01:13 PM | #29 |
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I love queer. Queer is the only word that works for my sexuality, precisely because it's so murky.
I used to consider myself straight. I think I was about 15 when I started considering the possibility I could be bicurious and for years hovered between describing myself as straight, bisexual or bicurious. I made huge announcmeents I'd retract later. I just had a nagging sense I had the possibility in me to be with a woman, despite the fact I loved boys. I obsessed over boys all the time and dated/slept with them exclusively. When I came to uni signed up to the lgbt society thinking it might help me somehow... but did nothing with that except get a card for cheap entry to gay clubs, then unrelated to this I made friends with a bunch of mostly gay men and became a fag hag going to gay clubs to dance in what i felt was a friendlier environment than most straight clubs. I pretty much ignored the lesbians. I don't know why. The lesbian world was just this giant impenetrable fortress to me and I had a bunch of misconceptions, and besides I hung out with the gay guys as a 'straight' friend. I tried to kiss a girl once, but I just failed miserably and gave up. Despite being on the surface straight I had a huge inexplicable obsession with gay places, people and related media. A bunch of ins and outs later, I finally figured out I was actually trans* and came out last year. As I began to explore my gender my attractions, sexuality and the words I used to describe it got more and more swirly until there was only one word that fit right - queer. For a mixture of reasons I've finally came across the queer crowd. Queer to me is part of the gay community, but also seperate. It's more radicalised. More accepting. I used to find the gay spaces friendly but now I consider myself trans and sexually queer, now i'm outside of the binary it feels controlling and less safe. To be fair... it's not always bad, and mostly better than straight spaces. I find the best places are those where there are a mix of liberal queers and liberal queer-friendly sorts. I think trans* is a huge part of what seperates queer from gay, along with bi/omni/pan sexualities and the ever-cliched 'open mind'. Queer is fierce. Queer says fuck, no I won't. Queer says we are the underdogs and proud. Queer says I'll do what I want but not at the expense of fucking over my neighbours. Queer means my current preference is not girls or boys but bois. It also means half my friends are vegans so I get the bacon all to myself. This was a really long life story. |
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04-28-2011, 02:07 PM | #30 |
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I am learning to like queer. I started as a lesbian but wasn't happy with the word. Mostly because at that point I was too scared to say but I'm a guy. Then I evolved to straight. But now I am realizing that I like femininity not the sex attached so queer works.
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04-28-2011, 02:28 PM | #31 | |
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Thank you Captain Franki for your wonderful candid reply. I loved it. And I felt it. And I bet it has been a really long life story. Kriket
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04-28-2011, 03:52 PM | #32 | |
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04-28-2011, 06:02 PM | #33 |
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06-12-2011, 09:30 AM | #34 |
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Hmm
Somehow I never viewed myself as a lesbian. I also date masculine butch, trans, FTM's. Being queer to me is being myself. I don't fit into any other label. I can date who/whatever I want and still feel like myself. That in itself, is golden.
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08-24-2011, 08:02 PM | #35 |
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Yep, another queer here too. I've often wondered, though, if using that label hurts my chances for finding partners. I don't have any real proof, but it's just something I think about.
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10-15-2011, 01:15 AM | #36 |
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Properly heterosexual, lmao. Classic.
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10-15-2011, 01:20 AM | #37 |
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I enjoyed going back and reading the comments on this thread. I really hope I can get it going again and attract some more Queer ID's folks in here.
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10-22-2011, 07:44 PM | #38 |
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+1 Queer!
What an awesome thread. I have only ever had relationships with females in the past, but I have never been able to comfortably call myself a soft butch lesbian. Queer is much more fitting and simple. ^5 to you all! |
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03-27-2012, 01:43 PM | #39 |
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Glad for this thread
So glad to read about other queer femmes who partner with masc i.d. gender queers and don't relate to the L Word. Love my femme sisters as mutual appreciation, not romantically.
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06-03-2012, 03:45 AM | #40 |
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Queer for me indicates that I embrace myself and my sexuality as complex and constantly evolving. The more that I learn about and understand myself, the more I realize that to identify as lesbian would be like fitting a square peg into a perfectly round hole. I've tried that label on and it never felt like it fit. It feels fraudulent to me, as if I am pretending to be something that I am not. It is (or was) even more compounded by the fact that I am primarily attracted to masculine energy. Butch, Trans and FTM's are what catch my eye and ultimately rock my world. I came to realize several years ago that I have always been that way, despite the fact that I was married and in a hetero relationship for 12 years. Even as I tried to deny my feelings and attractions, it eventually became something that I no longer could ignore. Those were very confusing times for me. I felt as if I didn't fit anywhere and didn't understand the strong feelings and desires that I was having. I dated a small handful of lesbians but that never felt right for me. There were some (not all) sexual expectations and an energy that I wasn't completely comfortable with. I found them attractive, and still do, but quickly I realized that anything other than a casual encounter was the most that I could ever accept for myself. Once again, that made me question my own identity even further. I finally reached a place where I began to date masculine butches and finally found my comfort zone. I also eventually met a wonderful person that was transitioning. While I supported him wholeheartedly, I wasn't ready yet to have a relationship with him. I think that I was scared that I would have to give up my "unknown" label and was fearful that I would be even less sure of where I belonged. I now know different. Nobody can take that from me and I belong wherever I choose to be. By accepting myself and letting go of those fears I was able to appreciate the wonderfully complex creature that I am. Being queer acknowledges that my desires and attractions are fluid and that I am free to move along my own preferred spectrum. Common labeling is no longer necessary to me. At the same time, I completely respect that for many other people within the community it is important. That's okay. We are all different and our diversity is a beautiful thing.
In my opinion, Queer is no one thing but an important component of acceptance. So while it took me a while to get here, I now know that I can confidently live by my own rules of attraction.
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