How Do You Self-Identify...and why.

[Tony]

Male. 100%. It's the brain, heart & soul I was born with. Just got put in the wrong container.

[Bèsame*]

all pink. Lace. Frilly.

[meridiantoo]

I think I adopted the femme identity label because it more closely fits than any other label. I'm not opposed to labels; I think they can tell you basic ideas of expression in a short time period. Specifically online where you have absence of other cues and experiences with people, you can get a decent jest of someone with a label. That's not to say we all fit our labels perfectly, though.

I am femme in that I love frills, girl-talk, and butches as my partners. I am not femme in that my sexual preference is not #1 on the overall list of who I am. I identify first and foremost as a women, followed by a Christian, then as a femme lesbian. I think there is a distinction between 'woman' and 'femme lesbian' for me. Woman, for me, means I am half a whole. I am by nature the yin of that half and what it encompasses, as well as endless possibilities as a human being. To say this does not mean a butch woman is not also a 'woman' in identity. She may or may not identify as her/she, but rather by hym/hy. The femme lesbian label is more constricting. It places me in an exclusively-defined role and character, which I do not always agree with nor accept.

When I bring this label into the GLBTQ community, I think my femme lesbian identity can also be constricting even among those I consider my peers as far as what people see in that label and the inferences they take from it. I think it's humorous at times and also frustrating.

I like this thread a lot. Thank you for starting it!

[JDeere]

Heterosexual TransMan, nothing more, nothing less

[puddin']

i'm a genderqueer muse. i dance the light fantastic...

[Tuff Stuff]

I was born a woman,and maybe I have not always wanted to be one (my early years mostly)but ask me today and i'll tell you I am happy being a woman.Of course when I was a girl I was a tomboy,but enjoyed being in the company of girls.I'm not a lesbian or bi-sexual.But these are the type of women I dated and hung out with.I am a feminist,and I get along with most feminist unless they are extreme. I don't like anything that is extreme..and hating people because they were born with a penis is pretty extreme.I like the words dyke and pervert..and bitch.But I don't like being called Sir,what strangers call me on a daily basis.Its possible that I may be a two-spirit person,but that is something I never bothered to ask. My wife is lesbian and is pretty much opposite of what I look like, in appearance mostly.We look like a straight couple.

I id as a Butch Woman,period.

[Esme nha Maire]

Extremely interesting thread. For myself, for as long as I've realised that no, I do NOT have to be stuck in the box others might perceive me as and/or want me to be, I've been determined to just be myself, because being essentially forced to not be myself was so extremely distressing and damned near fatal more than once. So 'just me' is accurate, but that's true of everyone, so, going one level down from there...

Depending on the circumstances, I might use either dyke, tomboy or lesbian to describe me, at the moment. All are accurate. I do find that because dyke has a harder-edge sound to it, that that's useful if I'm around guys that might get tiresome if one says "lesbian". Dyke seems to tell them that I'm not an easy target for their "humourous" comments, and thankfully they also seem to understand that I'm emphatically not an honourary lad just because I find women sexy. Tomboy gives notice to other lesbians that I'm somewhere in the middle of the butch-femme spectrum and may exhibit elements of both at various times, possibly even simultaneously.

What I am finding fascinating is not so much what I identify as, but exploring the boundaries of what I might be attracted to, but that's off-topic here (apologies). But thank you to all who've taken part in chats about such matters, here at BFP, as the insights I've gained have been helping me sift the wheat from the chaff about my sexuality. I'm still finding boxes to break out of.

[Deborah*]

Femme, because I always have been.

Deborah

[BullDog]

As stated in my profile, I am a Dominant Stone Butch Daddy. That's kind of a mouthful, so just plain old Butch will do in most circumstances. I am also a Dyke and Lesbian (despite rumors to the contrary, there is no contradiction with Lesbian and Stone Butch). Queer and gay are fine, but don't deeply resonate on a personal level for me like some other terms do. I've been regularly called a guy by former partners (both in good and bad ways, lol) and it does fit, but I'm not male or male identified. I am very proud of my female masculinity - my butchness. Mostly I'm just goofy old Me.

[Martina]

I am a woman. I am a lesbian. Happy to use the words gay and dyke also. I rarely use queer although of course it applies. I barely ID as femme, not because I have changed, but because people's understanding of what it means changed. But I ID'd as femme for 30 years. I don't know. I am a fourth generation educator. A lover of water and boats. Music geek (and snob). Maybe the most important -- a cat person.

[JDeere]

Originally Posted by Martina

I am a woman. I am a lesbian. Happy to use the words gay and dyke also. I rarely use queer although of course it applies. I barely ID as femme, not because I have changed, but because people's understanding of what it means changed. But I ID'd as femme for 30 years. I don't know. I am a fourth generation educator. A lover of water and boats. Music geek (and snob). Maybe the most important -- a cat person.

Yuck cats lol just teasing!

[Martina]

AND OSU (as in Ohio, not Oklahoma) fan!!

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by BullDog

As stated in my profile, I am a Dominant Stone Butch Daddy. That's kind of a mouthful, so just plain old Butch will do in most circumstances. I am also a Dyke and Lesbian (despite rumors to the contrary, there is no contradiction with Lesbian and Stone Butch). Queer and gay are fine, but don't deeply resonate on a personal level for me like some other terms do. I've been regularly called a guy by former partners (both in good and bad ways, lol) and it does fit, but I'm not male or male identified. I am very proud of my female masculinity - my butchness. Mostly I'm just goofy old Me.

I have not heard this, but it is unfortunate to think that people believe this. One choosing to not be touched/not be touched in certain ways, and who find their sexual pleasure comes from pleasing their partner, can still identify as women. Deriving your sexual pleasure from pleasing someone else does not mean you are not a woman...women loving women...the most basic drilled down definition of lesbian, no?

[AmazonDC]

Intersexed Queer Stone Daddy ..

[BullDog]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

I have not heard this, but it is unfortunate to think that people believe this. One choosing to not be touched/not be touched in certain ways, and who find their sexual pleasure comes from pleasing their partner, can still identify as women. Deriving your sexual pleasure from pleasing someone else does not mean you are not a woman...women loving women...the most basic drilled down definition of lesbian, no?

Well, it's nothing that has been said recently, but in practically every Stone discussion there has ever been people talk about the reason they are stone is because they don't i.d. as a lesbian or don't like lesbian sex and things of that nature. Um lesbian sex is whatever a lesbian wants it to be. So yes, I do agree with you and it makes no sense.