Femmes Who Strap <3

[Nat]

Bump bump bump

[bright_arrow]

I have quite a new found love for strapping, much to my pleasant surprise. It hasn't changed how I identify and I still feel femme to the core, albeit very powerful.

I second though how tired the hips can get! Clearly I need more practice to build up the stamina.

Grr!

[FemmeTastic]

Strapping is not something I would come up with myself, but if my partner were to ask me to strap (which she would NEVER do, I think), I'd do it, it's not like I am grossed out by the idea of me strapping or anything, but the idea just gives me the giggles, and not in a sexy, kinky kinda way, it just makes wanna laugh at myself, more or less like I would laugh at myself if I was wearing a moustache.

[highfemmetop]

As a femme who loves to strap it on, I'd say this thread needs a revival! I can't get enough, fucking someone with a cock is one of the the biggest turn ons for me. Especially when I'm with a tough butch dyke who can give it as well as she takes it ifyouknowwhatI'msaying.

[Nat]

On a slightly different note - perhaps because I have a few pangs of my own on this - and maybe this isn't something people will feel comfortable answering openly but I'll try to at least get the question(s) out there:

Do you as a femme feel pressure not to admit enjoying strapping? Or pressure to not enjoy it? or pressure not to share about it due to how it might cause your sweetie to be perceived should she/hy/he be known to enjoy receiving? Is there shame in femme cock?

And for the more masculine members of the community: Is there shame in taking femme cock? Do those of you who DO enjoy it feel a need to keep that secret so as not to be viewed as less masculine?

I know for a lot of people it's simply not their thing. But does anybody else feel pressure? Because even though I started the thread and even though I confess I enjoy strapping at times, I do have a slight fear that admitting so will make me appear less of a femme or less desirable. I refuse to be ashamed of exploring and practicing whatever range of sexual proclivities I happen to enjoy, but the fact that I have to choose to refuse to be ashamed tells me that on some level I experience shame that I then have to reject.

[ProfPacker]

Hi Nat,

I really appreciate your honesty. I know how you feel since I have just begun to explore my attraction to strapping (which I have done before) and packing which I am just enjoying, as a femme. I know there is some shame because I have only talking about the strapping and packing here on site. I also know that although I would like to pack when going out I have not tried it for fear of reactions if the packing is noticed. I am conflicted because sometimes I think I would like to have it noticed. I am not really sure what the packing is all about. In the past I would have "analyzed" it but now I want to say f**ck that and just enjoy it. Since I am knew to being single I really don't know where to go with all this new found sexuality.

I have had a couple of femmes online like the idea of my packing and being turned on by it but this is still the very beginning of a journey for me.

I appreciate your candor and the fact that it is allowing others to dialogue about it. I guess, although not looking for a LTR now, I am just looking for someone to explore all these feelings with. I want a femme or soft butch to oww and ahh at my femme cock.

wow, surprising myself by opening up so.

[imperfect_cupcake]

as someone who is happy to do it for someone who wants it *and* being single I do feel *on these boards* (but not in my town) that by saying that, people would cross me off for consideration of a date.
most partners, no matter what their sexual proclivities are, generally have not wanted me to out them for anything sexual. that's why I generally talk about vauge exes. none of my partners have "got" my flippant/unconcerned blah blah about sex in a public manner.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

as someone who is happy to do it for someone who wants it *and* being single I do feel *on these boards* (but not in my town) that by saying that, people would cross me off for consideration of a date.
most partners, no matter what their sexual proclivities are, generally have not wanted me to out them for anything sexual. that's why I generally talk about vauge exes. none of my partners have "got" my flippant/unconcerned blah blah about sex in a public manner.

THIS in bold, I totally agree and also if they do not cross you off the dating list, they place you on the list of the go to girl for a good fuck, it doesn't matter that you have never even considered them, sexual empowerment comes with assigned shit that is pretty gross and sexist.

Thanks for letting bounce off ya HB *winks*

[*Anya*]

I think it also should be noted of my sister femmes responding to the poll:

10% of us consider it vital to their (our) sex life.

25% of us enjoy strapping and are happy when we get to strap.

13.33% of us never have strapped but want to strap.

That is a grand total of 48.33% of femmes that have positive to very positive feelings/thoughts/enjoyment of strapping.

Just sayin'.

[TruTexan]

When I first came out and was with a much older lesbian femme, she loved using hand held dildos, Of which I would figure out ways to use them like a strap on......hee hee, talented little ol' me.
Anywho, I was not really into her doing that to me, I was afraid and young at the time. Well one evening at home with her, she had her way with me and penetrated me with a dildo. Man was that different experience for me. Turned me on huge. She never once made me feel less than the butch I was or tried to emasculate me at all. IT was in later years that another woman I was with that did that. If I asked her to, she would penetrate me using a hand held dildo, but she made me feel less of a butch and I backed off from having any penetration at all and I ended up leaving her in the end.
I think sometimes a butch can be made to feel that way if it's rubbed in your face like it was for me, or in other ways. I know NOT ALL women would do this and I'm glad they wouldn't because it's not a good thing to make someone feel less than the butch that they are for wanting it.
I"ve yet to find a femme lover that would actually strap on and not make me feel less than the butch that I am, maybe one day I"ll find that playful lover/partner.
I don't see anything at all wrong with femmes packing or using a strap-on with their partners. Who's business is it anyway? Certainly NOT MINE or anyone elses what they choose to do in their own homes behind closed doors.
I honestly can't say I"ve ever seen a femme pack either, not in r/t or otherwise.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by Nat

On a slightly different note - perhaps because I have a few pangs of my own on this - and maybe this isn't something people will feel comfortable answering openly but I'll try to at least get the question(s) out there:

Do you as a femme feel pressure not to admit enjoying strapping? Or pressure to not enjoy it? or pressure not to share about it due to how it might cause your sweetie to be perceived should she/hy/he be known to enjoy receiving? Is there shame in femme cock?

I don't outside of online venues, outside of online venues how I fuck is not shocking or viewed as negative. I tend to think about how I am going to post or if I am going to on online venues there is almost a feeling of angst typing about how I like to fuck. There is a lot of *shaming*, *belittling*, *eewwing*, and *less than* attitudes when it comes to Femme Cock.

I enjoy it, it's something I am not willing to give up, it's important and vital to keeping me sexually aroused, satisfied, and happy. My enjoyment is met with some pretty ugly, hateful, shameful criticism from others and not only is it placed on me but also super imposed on anyone I decide to date/fuck/partner/be friendly with. Not only are all these things done then people have the weird, sick, odd, hateful, homophobic audacity to place a less than value of judgement on the people who I interact/fuck/love/sex up with. The hateful assignments have gone as far as imply that the people I am with are less than as in half a person for enjoying Femme Cock..

Penetration in online venues comes with this ridiculous assignment that it is feminizing, that only a bottom fucks. girly. emasculates a person etc etc. It's ok for femme/girls/womenwhoarefeminine to be prenetrated, Femme Cock doesn't have the perceived power that butch/masculine/guy/boy/boi/cock does, Femme Cock is assigned as silly, ridiculous, gross, eeewy. ickie and so on, this asumption is continously perpetuated by not only women of the feminine persuasion all the way up to the women who present masculine to self made men in online forums.

*I* personally believe that Femme Cock will continue to be looked upon with continous disapproval by the online venues unless more people open up and talk about their desires surrounding Femme Cock.


I am hoping this thread does that!

[Cin]

Originally Posted by Nat

And for the more masculine members of the community: Is there shame in taking femme cock? Do those of you who DO enjoy it feel a need to keep that secret so as not to be viewed as less masculine?

I just saw this. I'll do my best to answer.

Is there shame in taking femme cock?

Well there are plenty of people who would like to shame me for taking femme cock and admitting I love it. There are those who are more than happy to hand out some shame if I'll take it.

Do I feel a need to keep that secret so as not to be viewed as less masculine?

Well, let's review. Besides being a butch, I am a woman, a feminist, and a lesbian. I use the pronoun she. I admit to wearing both women's and men's clothing including underwear. And my online name is Miss Tick.

I think that ship has sailed.

Do I care? Not really. Maybe a little. I don't know. I suppose so. Yes. No.
All of the above.

[Kobi]

Originally Posted by Nat

And for the more masculine members of the community: Is there shame in taking femme cock? Do those of you who DO enjoy it feel a need to keep that secret so as not to be viewed as less masculine?

Shame? No. It's my body. It is a female body. There is a range of things that makes it feel good. For me to feel shame would mean I am embarrassed to be a woman. That's just not going to happen.

Secret? No. Sex starts way before you hit the bedroom. If someone is treating me in a rigid, stereotypical way when I am upright, it is not likely to change when we hit the bedroom.

For me, it is about seeing me as the multifaceted woman I am vs trying to mold me into a one dimensional person someone else needs or wants.

[ProfPacker]

this has been one of the most freeing threads I have read on my short time on bfp. I came out in 1968 and there was not room for a discussion such as this. You were butch, femme, radical lesbian. The politics drove the definition more than the sexuality. In fact when I was in a group therapy with other lesbians and we talked about our many sexualities we tried to be PC about it, which meant on appearance we were accepting but we were never really sex positive. I probably would have strapped as a femme a long time ago. I probably would have packed under my suede minis at the bars in NY then and reveled in the surprise (if my slow dance partner) felt my femme cock waiting for her when we danced. But I didn't. How I restricted myself.

Even at home when I pack (I haven't been sexual other than online with anyone since I left my partner 1.5 years ago) I find myself not allowing the full joy of experiencing my femme cock. I am though, for the first time, when I pleasure myself enjoying using my many different femme cocks on myself).

I have my first date on Sunday and although this feels like something that I can mention here if and when I get sexual with someone not sure how to approach it

I am too old to let eeewwing get in my way. I have let too many things in life define me even when I wanted to define myself.

I respect the women on this thread who are willing to self reflect and share so that others can follow suit.

[PwrFemme]

I'd like to thank all of you for your posts. I've read each of them. You all seem very self-assured. I'm not going to try to name names but make comments to different things I read that stood out to me.

I strapped once at my partner's (at the time) request. It didn't feel comfortable to me. That said, I have no problem with a femme strapping. I dislike the judgmental people who think it's okay to voice their negative opinions about people not "fitting" into the box they feel each of us should be in based on a label.

my name is PwrFemme for a reason. I don't strap but I see power in being a femme. Some people feel "femme" and "weak" should go together. I also wear the label of feminist and have heard negativity attached to that label as well.

I am attracted to Femme's as well as to Heelbilli, my spouse. That is an admission that I haven't shared much because, as already said, people "eww" you. I guess approaching 50 makes me care less what people think and maybe I'll start speaking my mind more.

I'm joining this thread and I hope it's a place you all will continue to be out-spoken and where I can feel comfortable being me.

[ProfPacker]

pls bear with me because I am putting random thoughts regarding this thread on paper. I am trying to tie what we are saying to what we have all internalized in this society regarding our female development. We are taught what "female" is by our dominant society, mostly white male, who owned females by virtue of marriage and others by virtue of the idea that anyone other can be owned, dehumanized and abused. We are taught many things in our lives that are untrue, particularly in the history of this country regarding power and privilege.

As women we tend to NOT support each other using unconscious micro and social aggressions. That is what, I believe, we are all speaking out against. It goes unsaid that ewww and it's not masculine or feminine or whatever is really bullying. This thread is sort of saying we are going to be supportive of choice and dialogue with the bystanders.

I know I sound "academic" but I am an academic and teach all this but unless we own our own parts in the process that is all it is: academic.

This is important on this site and other places in our lives. Like I said to myself today. What if I did pack outside? Where would I go, how will I handle any perceived "ews" that's weird, etc.

We can as a site, co-construct our worlds. We are already doing it. But social aggression is how "woman" have been allowed to demean other women in the dominant society. Let's be aware of our day to day behavior....and wiggle the finger at ourselves when we act in a heterosexist, racist, ismphobic way. (In class if someone is caught by another student doing something that has been constructed out of demeaning the other: ie. when we say "he or she is on the bottom of the totem pole", "brown nosing, etc). We wiggle the finger and the all discuss our treaspasses not tear each other down for them.

thanks, again for listening

[bright_arrow]

I've never strapped, and the thought has never been one to make its way into my mind. There is no "ew" factor in the least, but it is never something I thought about.

My first girlfriend and I never used any toys - honestly, I am not sure I even KNEW about them at that age. Same went for my second girlfriend. It actually wasn't until I dated my last boyfriend that I even OWNED any toys. So, I came out fully, met a girl, and she actually shamed me for liking penetration period. We're just talking basic, slim, not-cock-realistic $10 vibrator here. I was informed that I was NOT a lesbian if I liked penetration. Well, okie-dokie, toys went into the trash and we parted ways. After that, I have only been partnered with stone partners (I feel the need to comment that it's just happened that way, it's not like I told myself "Okay, no more giving sex, just taking it!")

So, I have only been on the receiving ends of strap-on's. Sometimes it's the last thing I want, sometimes it's the one thing I want (and a lot of dirty words and hair-pulling, but I regress..). If my partner ever requested it, it is something I would be more than willing to try. In the mean time, it will just be one of those area's I've not yet explored, but by no means would I ever shame or make anyone feel lesser.

I personally would not cross someone off my list for strapping/NOT strapping/wanting ME to strap.

Just my .02

[Erryl]

The wife and I have been together about 15 years so that's relevant to my response.

Over the years we have gone through a variety of sexual phases and oh so so many toys y'all!!
There toward the beginning it was a struggle to even have a vibe! Poor wife was kinda shy in the feisty sex department. Once she starting opening up to toys it got interesting. I was the only one who would strap it on, my slightly butch wifey just felt like she .. idk.. wasn't supposed to even like it let alone put it on. Once she got over the feelings that liking it somehow made her less gay, she starting getting more into trying it both ways. Now, many years later, it's hard to get that thing away from her! If it's out of the drawer she's got a firm grip on it. lol! Stingy broad.

[yourexwife]

Fluid. Sexy. If I am
lucky to find a partner who wants to be loved up like this.

[Nat]

Y'all make me smile.