what NOT to do in a relationship....... - Page 20

FeminineAllure · 10-19-2010, 11:23 AM

Speaking only from my experiences...Don't become lovers before you become friends. Like someone alot before you fall in love.

squeak · 10-19-2010, 11:36 AM

Don't take your partner for granted - let them know you appreciate all that they do for you. <3

Don't stop dating one another even if, you know, they're stuck with you.

xosqueak

Jesse · 10-19-2010, 11:38 AM

DO NOT get with someone thinking you can help them "change"!

Soft*Silver · 10-19-2010, 12:42 PM

dont lay all your shit out at once in the beginning. Because then if it doesnt work out they have it all....build into it...slowly......then as you build into something, they have it all....

Jesse · 10-19-2010, 02:00 PM

The long explanation: Don't get into a relationship with the hopes it will fill something inside of you. Instead take care of your own emotional stuff, expect the other person to take care of theirs as well. Then see what each of you has to bring to the table, so to speak.

The short version: Don't agree to be a baggage handler for others!

Gemme · 10-19-2010, 02:52 PM

Don't ignore the voices that speak to you. Well, let me say that differently.

Listen to your gut and listen to the Universe, even when they are telling you something that you don't understand or you can't see. Don't ignore your gut and the Universe.

Soft*Silver · 10-19-2010, 05:13 PM

dont think you are taking my side of the bed

dont complain about my dog. She stays. You wont.

she can pee on the floor. Dont even think of it.

dont leave dishes in the LR for me to pick up

ditto for the bedroom

if you raise your voice to me you best be sitting down. If you stand up, and yell, its intimidating and I will not respond well. Fair warning.

I dont care which way you put the TP on, just put it on when it runs out on your shift

if you go into the dryer to get something out, take them all out AND FOLD THEM.

dont leave one swig of anything in the fridge and not tell me or not pick it up yourself at the store.

pet food, milk for coffee and TP are the three things this house must never run out of. And I am not the only responsible adult in this relationship. Remember this.

dont not clean the sex toys. Nasty dirty bad in a not good way

bigbutchmistie · 10-19-2010, 07:30 PM

Do not be mean to my son. Simon... He is the cutest sweetest puppy in the whole world.

Do not ever ask me to get rid of my son. Wont happen I will walk away from you so fast.

Do not be non chalant in regards to my moms death. It had a huge impact on my life and its made me who I am today. I miss her daily every day.

Understand that I am closterphobic. I will not sleep on the inside of my bed by the wall. So please dont ask me to move my spot in the bed

Do not ask me to do the dishes and then complain when I do them. Or any household chores for that matter...

Never introduce me as a friend to your ex's or friends when we are together

And last but not least. You know the chocolate ho ho's in my pantry? DO NOT touch one of them. (Joking)

And for the love of God dont touch anything of mine chocolate...

bright_arrow · 10-19-2010, 10:08 PM

don't talk about a future with me if you're not serious about it

don't make a promise to me, break it, promise it again and then get huffy when i'm wary and remind you of the first time you broke it

don't swear tooth&nail you're not into someone else when you're involved with them the whole time - fucking own up to it and let me know you're not interested

don't agree to something or tell me what i want to hear just to make me happy - it's extremely misleading

don't expect me to put my life on hold for you to get over your issues and come around. i will walk away

realize that sometimes the words you don't say speak louder than the actions you're doing

don't break the trust i have in you and expect to gain it back so freely. it will take a lot

katsarecool · 10-19-2010, 10:26 PM

And above all (for me) be honest and up front always and treat me the way you would want to be treated!!!

sweetfemme247 · 10-20-2010, 08:26 PM

never tell everyone all your secrets and fears right away

Never try to help someone with depression if they arent showing any interest in you wanting to help them

never ignore your gut instincts

never let someone send you money even when you tell them not to because eventually they will might rub it into your face

never back down on your opinions or feelings because that is your right in this world

FlowerFem · 10-20-2010, 09:55 PM

Don't date someone who is in a "dead end relationship' and is now ready to leave it because you came along. You're not that wonderful, they weren't born to love you. It just means they are too afraid to be alone, or not grown up enough to make it on their own, and when they get bored or mad or scared ( insert any reason here)they will leave you for someone else, actually anyone else. Any old port in a storm.
Don't date someone who is ready and willing to move in with you in less than 2 months. Heck less than 6 months even. This can only mean one thing. They are very bad at managing their money and will be more than happy to spend yours for you. Another clue they are bad with money and deep in debt, they move around alot. If they have moved like 5 times in 5 years, better grab your purse and run.

LipstickLola · 10-20-2010, 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemme

Don't ignore the voices that speak to you. Well, let me say that differently.

Listen to your gut and listen to the Universe, even when they are telling you something that you don't understand or you can't see. Don't ignore your gut and the Universe.

Good Lord YESSSS, DON'T ever ever ignore your gut!! there's a reason it's where it is,,,,,,,safely tucked away with your other internal organs

sylvie · 10-22-2010, 04:55 AM

- don't say things just because you know i want/like it... be YOU.. be honest, i'm well aware everyone is different and will respect you more for honesty!

- don't push everything at high speed.. i've learned that time, and getting to know each other should be at a pace - so everything can develop because we want it to, not because we feel we have to ...

Soft*Silver · 10-22-2010, 11:44 AM

never accept someone who doesnt accept your child(ren) no matter how old they are. PERIOD.

dont accept when they say they have no money to spend on you but spend lots of money with or on their best friend. Never ever take second fiddle in a relationship and never ever listen to their long list of playing you a fool....

its not ok to be left an empty tank most or all of the time. again, being played...he isnt a big kid who can take advantage of you

its not ok to be drunk all the time to make love. Huge issues there. More than issues. Its a subscription!

its not ok to be lied to. Lies are never ok.

asphaltcowboi · 10-22-2010, 12:02 PM

never allow your partner make you feel less a person then you are

LipstickLola · 10-22-2010, 12:07 PM

Never, settle!

cuddlyfemme · 10-22-2010, 12:08 PM

never pay for everything... all the time

never lie

Scorp · 10-22-2010, 01:04 PM

Burp half the alphabet at the dinner table across from your fem...

LipstickLola · 10-22-2010, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scorp

Burp half the alphabet at the dinner table across from your fem...

O M G, who does that? hahaha, def no no

10-19-2010, 11:23 AM	#381
FeminineAllure Member How Do You Identify?: Female Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: My rainbow is way overdue Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: PA Posts: 1,145 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,659 Thanked 2,026 Times in 555 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Speaking only from my experiences...Don't become lovers before you become friends. Like someone alot before you fall in love. __________________ Remember anyone can love you when the sun is shining...In the storm is where you learn who truly cares for you

10-19-2010, 11:38 AM	#383
Jesse Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Transguy Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Central West Coast of Florida Posts: 5,204 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,866 Thanked 17,784 Times in 3,940 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	DO NOT get with someone thinking you can help them "change"! __________________ “You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that widened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this.”

10-19-2010, 12:42 PM	#384
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,592 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,907 Times in 4,062 Posts Rep Power*: 21474857	dont lay all your shit out at once in the beginning. Because then if it doesnt work out they have it all....build into it...slowly......then as you build into something, they have it all.... __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

10-19-2010, 02:00 PM	#385
Jesse Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Transguy Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Central West Coast of Florida Posts: 5,204 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,866 Thanked 17,784 Times in 3,940 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	The long explanation: Don't get into a relationship with the hopes it will fill something inside of you. Instead take care of your own emotional stuff, expect the other person to take care of theirs as well. Then see what each of you has to bring to the table, so to speak. The short version: Don't agree to be a baggage handler for others! __________________ “You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that widened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this.”

10-19-2010, 02:52 PM	#386
Gemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?: She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The roads are narrow here Posts: 36,631 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 182,498 Thanked 107,973 Times in 25,668 Posts Rep Power: 21474888	Don't ignore the voices that speak to you. Well, let me say that differently. Listen to your gut and listen to the Universe, even when they are telling you something that you don't understand or you can't see. Don't ignore your gut and the Universe. __________________ Gemme's Journal I'm misunderestimated.

10-19-2010, 11:36 AM	#382
squeak Junior Member How Do You Identify?: femme! Preferred Pronoun?: princess Relationship Status: making one butch sweat Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: hollywood, ca Posts: 30 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10 Thanked 57 Times in 18 Posts Rep Power: 155232	Don't take your partner for granted - let them know you appreciate all that they do for you. <3 Don't stop dating one another even if, you know, they're stuck with you. xosqueak

10-19-2010, 05:13 PM	#387
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,592 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,907 Times in 4,062 Posts Rep Power*: 21474857	dont think you are taking my side of the bed dont complain about my dog. She stays. You wont. she can pee on the floor. Dont even think of it. dont leave dishes in the LR for me to pick up ditto for the bedroom if you raise your voice to me you best be sitting down. If you stand up, and yell, its intimidating and I will not respond well. Fair warning. I dont care which way you put the TP on, just put it on when it runs out on your shift if you go into the dryer to get something out, take them all out AND FOLD THEM. dont leave one swig of anything in the fridge and not tell me or not pick it up yourself at the store. pet food, milk for coffee and TP are the three things this house must never run out of. And I am not the only responsible adult in this relationship. Remember this. dont not clean the sex toys. Nasty dirty bad in a not good way __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

10-19-2010, 07:30 PM	#388
bigbutchmistie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Since You Need A Label. Butch Relationship Status: Still Dreaming Of My Happily Ever After Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Arlington Texas Posts: 4,009 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,950 Thanked 5,364 Times in 1,941 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Do not be mean to my son. Simon... He is the cutest sweetest puppy in the whole world. Do not ever ask me to get rid of my son. Wont happen I will walk away from you so fast. Do not be non chalant in regards to my moms death. It had a huge impact on my life and its made me who I am today. I miss her daily every day. Understand that I am closterphobic. I will not sleep on the inside of my bed by the wall. So please dont ask me to move my spot in the bed Do not ask me to do the dishes and then complain when I do them. Or any household chores for that matter... Never introduce me as a friend to your ex's or friends when we are together And last but not least. You know the chocolate ho ho's in my pantry? DO NOT touch one of them. (Joking) And for the love of God dont touch anything of mine chocolate... Last edited by bigbutchmistie; 10-19-2010 at 07:37 PM.

10-19-2010, 10:08 PM	#389
bright_arrow ☆ the stars are aligned ☆ How Do You Identify?: one queer mama Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: married to my Boo Daddy <3 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: nor cal Posts: 2,910 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,644 Thanked 9,363 Times in 2,296 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	don't talk about a future with me if you're not serious about it don't make a promise to me, break it, promise it again and then get huffy when i'm wary and remind you of the first time you broke it don't swear tooth&nail you're not into someone else when you're involved with them the whole time - fucking own up to it and let me know you're not interested don't agree to something or tell me what i want to hear just to make me happy - it's extremely misleading don't expect me to put my life on hold for you to get over your issues and come around. i will walk away realize that sometimes the words you don't say speak louder than the actions you're doing don't break the trust i have in you and expect to gain it back so freely. it will take a lot

10-19-2010, 10:26 PM	#390
katsarecool Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Woman Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Between Athens and Atlanta, Georgia Posts: 1,236 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,849 Thanked 1,765 Times in 734 Posts Rep Power: 323366	And above all (for me) be honest and up front always and treat me the way you would want to be treated!!! __________________

10-20-2010, 08:26 PM	#391
sweetfemme247 Member How Do You Identify?: fem Preferred Pronoun?: femme, she, her, baby, sweetie Relationship Status: holding my heart close and putting back up a wall Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: california, palm springs Posts: 994 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 206 Thanked 719 Times in 350 Posts Rep Power: 4115671	never tell everyone all your secrets and fears right away Never try to help someone with depression if they arent showing any interest in you wanting to help them never ignore your gut instincts never let someone send you money even when you tell them not to because eventually they will might rub it into your face never back down on your opinions or feelings because that is your right in this world __________________ Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present. Jim Rohn

10-20-2010, 09:55 PM	#392
FlowerFem Member How Do You Identify?: femm Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: dating Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Illinois Posts: 107 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 128 Thanked 163 Times in 51 Posts Rep Power: 286410	relationship no no's Don't date someone who is in a "dead end relationship' and is now ready to leave it because you came along. You're not that wonderful, they weren't born to love you. It just means they are too afraid to be alone, or not grown up enough to make it on their own, and when they get bored or mad or scared ( insert any reason here)they will leave you for someone else, actually anyone else. Any old port in a storm. Don't date someone who is ready and willing to move in with you in less than 2 months. Heck less than 6 months even. This can only mean one thing. They are very bad at managing their money and will be more than happy to spend yours for you. Another clue they are bad with money and deep in debt, they move around alot. If they have moved like 5 times in 5 years, better grab your purse and run.

10-22-2010, 04:55 AM	#394
sylvie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Mr Mtn's babygirl Preferred Pronoun?: girly, she Relationship Status: fiercely protected ♥ Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Moving home in OR with Him VERY soooon !! Posts: 2,548 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,834 Thanked 7,501 Times in 1,850 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	- don't say things just because you know i want/like it... be YOU.. be honest, i'm well aware everyone is different and will respect you more for honesty! - don't push everything at high speed.. i've learned that time, and getting to know each other should be at a pace - so everything can develop because we want it to, not because we feel we have to ... __________________ my Mantra: i am letting go of angers, continuing to find forgiveness, welcoming inner peace & deserving of it all. my facebook weight loss page: http://www.facebook.com/asyllyjourney

10-22-2010, 11:44 AM	#395
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,592 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,907 Times in 4,062 Posts Rep Power*: 21474857	never accept someone who doesnt accept your child(ren) no matter how old they are. PERIOD. dont accept when they say they have no money to spend on you but spend lots of money with or on their best friend. Never ever take second fiddle in a relationship and never ever listen to their long list of playing you a fool.... its not ok to be left an empty tank most or all of the time. again, being played...he isnt a big kid who can take advantage of you its not ok to be drunk all the time to make love. Huge issues there. More than issues. Its a subscription! its not ok to be lied to. Lies are never ok. __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

10-22-2010, 12:02 PM	#396
asphaltcowboi Senior Member How Do You Identify?: butch Relationship Status: HAPPY Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: ..... Posts: 1,509 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,367 Thanked 3,297 Times in 1,042 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	never allow your partner make you feel less a person then you are

10-22-2010, 12:07 PM	#397
LipstickLola Member How Do You Identify?: Happy Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: planet Earth Posts: 682 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,679 Thanked 1,597 Times in 433 Posts Rep Power: 5678217	Never, settle! __________________ Happiness......it's a choice!!

10-22-2010, 12:08 PM	#398
cuddlyfemme Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Femme Preferred Pronoun?: her/she Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: South Carolina Posts: 2,271 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 717 Thanked 2,452 Times in 1,270 Posts Rep Power: 11496123	never pay for everything... all the time never lie

10-22-2010, 01:04 PM	#399
Scorp Italian Stallion How Do You Identify?: DNA Usually... Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: In a van, down by the river.. Posts: 2,702 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,557 Thanked 4,714 Times in 1,263 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	A..B..C..D..E..FFFF...G Burp half the alphabet at the dinner table across from your fem...