What Cracked You Up Today? - Page 24

Jett · 12-16-2011, 03:12 PM

Gemme · 12-16-2011, 08:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Truly Scrumptious

I do love your cooking...like when you make hot pockets...

I have to say that it's a good thing that brat of a boy calling his parents stupid and that last boy aren't mine. They would never say shit like that again, I assure you.

However...today, I was talking with the daughter of a long time customer and we were talking about her parents losing the keys to their lock and she said, "They're old. They shouldn't have keys" and it just cracked me the Hell up because we'd been discussing what her dad and his brother....a couple of sixty somethings....were doing when they lost the keys and it just rubbed my funny bone.

Cid · 12-16-2011, 08:28 PM

This guy at work always calls me a freakin' hippie. Today he named me Moonflower..lol. That really cracked me up.

JustLovelyJenn · 12-17-2011, 10:21 AM

i got out of bed this morning to make sure my son got his pills.... just in time to watch him walk back through the back door... in boxer briefs and his coat... holding the key to the shed... and a truly disappointed look.... he couldn't get the shed door unlocked to see the christmas presents... that cracked me up.

SnackTime · 01-08-2012, 09:55 AM

Being razzed by few people last night.

Being asked a few hundred questions about her.

The bantering amongst friends.

Being conned into going to a bar because it was someone's birthday Bumpah.

Her laughter when I was telling her a few things on the phone outside the restaurant.

Soon · 01-08-2012, 03:25 PM

----01/06/2012
I support Gay Sex and Abortion because I'm for anything that prevents another Rick Santorum from coming into this world.

Truly Scrumptious · 01-11-2012, 08:59 PM

SmoothButch · 01-16-2012, 08:43 PM

Betty White’s Off Their Rockers

RockOn · 01-16-2012, 09:22 PM

I texted a femme friend today with photos of an '04 Chevy Avalanche 4x4 . It is candy color blue, awesome mudgrips - lifted to the sky. I test drove it. Anyway, she texted me back and all she said was something to the tune of how happy she is for me because she knows I am really enjoying my day off with this truck.

She then proceeded to describe how she is into a movie marathon today, etc. ... not one single comment about this beautiful truck.

I sent her another text and asked her what did she think of the truck and be honest ... if she thought it was ugly and hated it, then just say it.

I received a text back shortly . She said, "it's a pretty truck."

I was sitting in my truck when I read her one little comment about this sensational vehicle. For a couple of minutes, all I could do was gaze out the window dumbfounded. Then it registered. LOL! Guess with all my excitment, I was a little slow. I really had a good laugh.

Kobi · 01-18-2012, 08:51 AM

The local newspaper published an article on "some of the worst analogies written by high school students". These are amusing yet also kind of sad. Hope these kids dont have to take the MAT's.

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli and he was room-temperature beef.
The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.
McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.
The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbarge truck backing up.
The red brick wall was the color of a red brick crayola crayon.
The sardines were packed as tight as the coach section of a 747.
Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.
It came down the stairs looking much like something no one had ever seen before.
The sunset displayed rich, spectacular hues like a .jpeg file at 10% cyan, 10% magenta, 60%yellow, and 10% black.

http://bethanyamandamiller.wordpress.com

adorable · 01-22-2012, 05:57 PM

Showing that smug avatar in Just Dance 3 for wii the definition of pwnd.

Scuba · 01-28-2012, 10:10 PM

Scuba · 01-31-2012, 06:39 PM

Sassy · 01-31-2012, 07:32 PM

The look on my manager's face when a staff member pipes up to correct a young reporter: "Herman Cain dropped out of the race." ...

... (How did they not know that?!!!)

ButchEire · 01-31-2012, 08:15 PM

Well, ummm, yay?

hotlips by Unleashed Image, on Flickr

SnackTime · 02-12-2012, 07:58 AM

The pup howling at me for the first time yesterday morning. She seems to do this when she is excited.

girl_dee · 02-12-2012, 08:05 AM

The internet, it cracks me up on so many fun and scary levels!

spritzerJ · 02-12-2012, 08:47 AM

When she fell to the floor and pretended to faint because pancakes would not be appearing at that very moment just because she brought me the box of bisquick. And as if I would feed her bisquick pancakes. Followed by her strict supervision of my pancake making cause I was going so slow. Child...you kill me.

1QuirkyKiwi · 02-12-2012, 06:12 PM

Yesterday, one of the blokes at the Disabled Arts Studio started dancing to the music that was playing….to say he was dancing like your Dad at a family Wedding was an understatement! LOL! He had his thumbs up in the air and said: “This music’s got a good beat!” I was struggling to breathe I was laughing so hard! LOL!

It reminded me of the Angel episode “I Don’t Dance.” I affectionately say anyone who dances like this as having gone to the ‘Angel School of Dancing’, lol!

Scuba · 02-22-2012, 11:22 PM

and

12-16-2011, 03:12 PM	#461
Jett Member How Do You Identify?: Hardcore bullheaded grown-ass Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: she loves my shaggy hair Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The backroom of a night cafe plotting world domination Posts: 1,028 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,054 Thanked 3,299 Times in 568 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	__________________ .......... In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer. ~Albert Camus

12-16-2011, 08:28 PM	#463
Cid Member How Do You Identify?: ultra femme princess Preferred Pronoun?: she, lady..whichever Relationship Status: waiting for the right one Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Don't follow me, I'm lost. Posts: 807 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,627 Thanked 2,731 Times in 632 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	This guy at work always calls me a freakin' hippie. Today he named me Moonflower..lol. That really cracked me up. __________________ Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

12-17-2011, 10:21 AM	#464
JustLovelyJenn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Relationship Status: That's Need to Know Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Aberdeen, WA Posts: 4,478 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 12,464 Thanked 13,992 Times in 3,684 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	i got out of bed this morning to make sure my son got his pills.... just in time to watch him walk back through the back door... in boxer briefs and his coat... holding the key to the shed... and a truly disappointed look.... he couldn't get the shed door unlocked to see the christmas presents... that cracked me up. __________________ --Jenn

01-08-2012, 09:55 AM	#465
SnackTime Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: UNattainable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Feeling the ocean breeze... Posts: 4,868 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,393 Thanked 13,228 Times in 2,883 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Last night... Being razzed by few people last night. Being asked a few hundred questions about her. The bantering amongst friends. Being conned into going to a bar because it was someone's birthday Bumpah. Her laughter when I was telling her a few things on the phone outside the restaurant. __________________ "There's something to be said for not saying anything"

01-08-2012, 03:25 PM	#466
Soon Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Relationship Status: attached Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: . Posts: 6,896 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,046 Thanked 13,094 Times in 3,386 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	this tweet: ----01/06/2012 I support Gay Sex and Abortion because I'm for anything that prevents another Rick Santorum from coming into this world.

01-11-2012, 08:59 PM	#467
Truly Scrumptious Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: She's my mirror twin, my next of kin Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Entre Lajeunesse et la sagesse Posts: 667 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,047 Thanked 1,780 Times in 557 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	Fotoshop by Adobé

01-16-2012, 08:43 PM	#468
SmoothButch Member How Do You Identify?: human Preferred Pronoun?: X Relationship Status: Happily enjoying my life Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Roaming around the DMV Posts: 617 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 588 Thanked 1,293 Times in 400 Posts Rep Power: 10392616	Betty White’s Off Their Rockers __________________ Keep the shiny side up and the rubber side down.

01-16-2012, 09:22 PM	#469
RockOn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: sitting over there ----->>>>> :) Preferred Pronoun?: .... Relationship Status: .... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: .... Posts: 3,522 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,081 Thanked 10,304 Times in 2,610 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	I texted a femme friend today with photos of an '04 Chevy Avalanche 4x4 . It is candy color blue, awesome mudgrips - lifted to the sky. I test drove it. Anyway, she texted me back and all she said was something to the tune of how happy she is for me because she knows I am really enjoying my day off with this truck. She then proceeded to describe how she is into a movie marathon today, etc. ... not one single comment about this beautiful truck. I sent her another text and asked her what did she think of the truck and be honest ... if she thought it was ugly and hated it, then just say it. I received a text back shortly . She said, "it's a pretty truck." I was sitting in my truck when I read her one little comment about this sensational vehicle. For a couple of minutes, all I could do was gaze out the window dumbfounded. Then it registered. LOL! Guess with all my excitment, I was a little slow. I really had a good laugh.

01-18-2012, 08:51 AM	#470
Kobi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status: Happy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic. Posts: 9,234 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,840 Thanked 34,632 Times in 7,640 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	The local newspaper published an article on "some of the worst analogies written by high school students". These are amusing yet also kind of sad. Hope these kids dont have to take the MAT's. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli and he was room-temperature beef. The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbarge truck backing up. The red brick wall was the color of a red brick crayola crayon. The sardines were packed as tight as the coach section of a 747. Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. It came down the stairs looking much like something no one had ever seen before. The sunset displayed rich, spectacular hues like a .jpeg file at 10% cyan, 10% magenta, 60%yellow, and 10% black. http://bethanyamandamiller.wordpress.com

01-22-2012, 05:57 PM	#471
adorable Member How Do You Identify?: Sarcastically Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Home of the Yankee's Posts: 752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,708 Thanked 2,644 Times in 590 Posts Rep Power: 12725119	Showing that smug avatar in Just Dance 3 for wii the definition of pwnd.

01-28-2012, 10:10 PM	#472
Scuba Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: Flying Solo Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: PNW Posts: 2,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,749 Thanked 8,047 Times in 1,618 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Cracked me right up :) __________________ https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-X...etuwo1_500.jpg ~~Bob Richardson~~

01-31-2012, 06:39 PM	#473
Scuba Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: Flying Solo Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: PNW Posts: 2,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,749 Thanked 8,047 Times in 1,618 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Thanks RN __________________ https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-X...etuwo1_500.jpg ~~Bob Richardson~~

01-31-2012, 07:32 PM	#474
Sassy Member How Do You Identify?: Female Relationship Status: Together Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: In the sunshine Posts: 598 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 815 Thanked 1,929 Times in 460 Posts Rep Power: 19641164	The look on my manager's face when a staff member pipes up to correct a young reporter: "Herman Cain dropped out of the race." ... ... (How did they not know that?!!!)

01-31-2012, 08:15 PM	#475
ButchEire Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Permanent ban 3/17/2013 - TROLL Relationship Status: Partner to my best friend Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: For now, Buffalo Posts: 701 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,618 Thanked 1,872 Times in 485 Posts Rep Power: 0	Well, ummm, yay? hotlips by Unleashed Image, on Flickr

02-12-2012, 07:58 AM	#476
SnackTime Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: UNattainable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Feeling the ocean breeze... Posts: 4,868 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,393 Thanked 13,228 Times in 2,883 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	The pup howling at me for the first time yesterday morning. She seems to do this when she is excited. __________________ "There's something to be said for not saying anything"

02-12-2012, 08:05 AM	#477
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,833 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	The internet, it cracks me up on so many fun and scary levels!

02-12-2012, 08:47 AM	#478
spritzerJ Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: Queer (gender), female (biological marker) Preferred Pronoun?: she will work as a default. Relationship Status: engaged to jac until 8/10/14 Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Maine Posts: 3,154 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,307 Thanked 15,802 Times in 2,905 Posts Rep Power: 0	When she fell to the floor and pretended to faint because pancakes would not be appearing at that very moment just because she brought me the box of bisquick. And as if I would feed her bisquick pancakes. Followed by her strict supervision of my pancake making cause I was going so slow. Child...you kill me.

02-12-2012, 06:12 PM	#479
1QuirkyKiwi Senior Member How Do You Identify?: BBW. Unique femininity that does not encompass the western paradigm. Preferred Pronoun?: Anything Respectful! Relationship Status: Single, Happy, not Desparate or Looking, but Open to Possibilities... Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Europe and Aotearoa on a 5:2 ratio. Posts: 2,308 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,003 Thanked 6,035 Times in 1,617 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Yesterday, one of the blokes at the Disabled Arts Studio started dancing to the music that was playing….to say he was dancing like your Dad at a family Wedding was an understatement! LOL! He had his thumbs up in the air and said: “This music’s got a good beat!” I was struggling to breathe I was laughing so hard! LOL! It reminded me of the Angel episode “I Don’t Dance.” I affectionately say anyone who dances like this as having gone to the ‘Angel School of Dancing’, lol! __________________ What will make the difference to me is your strength of character and what's in your heart...

02-22-2012, 11:22 PM	#480
Scuba Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: Flying Solo Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: PNW Posts: 2,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,749 Thanked 8,047 Times in 1,618 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Gets me everytime and __________________ https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-X...etuwo1_500.jpg ~~Bob Richardson~~