what NOT to do in a relationship....... - Page 25

Oiler41 · 04-08-2011, 08:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sassy_girl

Do not ignore someone's past. It's the best prediction of the future.

Absolutely.

Glynn

girl_dee · 04-08-2011, 11:39 AM

don't ignore your past failed relationships by engaging with the same person with a different name, you will get the same results

Glenn · 04-08-2011, 12:37 PM

You cannot buy Real love and attraction. It cannot be bought or sold.

Nat · 04-12-2011, 04:56 PM

I actually heard this one on a podcast about successful and happy long-term marriages -

Don't forget to create opportunities to laugh together.

According to the interviewee, regular laughter alleviates tensions and strengthens the bond. The guy claimed laughter produces oxytocin (the "bonding" or "trust" hormone also involved in labor/birth) but I haven't verified that.

Anyway, it's good advice for me because I get so very serious so very often.

Nat · 04-12-2011, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by popcorninthesofa

You cannot buy Real love and attraction. It cannot be bought or sold.

Thank goodness for that, or I'd be sh*t-outta-luck.

Sachita · 04-12-2011, 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nat

I actually heard this one on a podcast about successful and happy long-term marriages -

Don't forget to create opportunities to laugh together.

According to the interviewee, regular laughter alleviates tensions and strengthens the bond. The guy claimed laughter produces oxytocin (the "bonding" or "trust" hormone also involved in labor/birth) but I haven't verified that.

Anyway, it's good advice for me because I get so very serious so very often.

That's why you don't get involved with someone you don't like a lot. You have to have things in common like the same sense of humor and adventure. This is a big one for me. I need to have fun and laugh a lot. I can't deal with passive aggressive negativity that stifles the fun.

Don't throw out sexual innuendos in our first couple of conversations. Show me your sense of humor and what kind of human you are. If we gel, laugh and can connect in a playful way then we'll move forward. If it's too much work going in then no doubt there will be a struggle later.

Blade · 04-12-2011, 07:12 PM

Don't shutdown.......keep the communication open

girl_dee · 04-12-2011, 07:18 PM

don't tell all your private hardstuff unless you are absolutely sure it's ok.

Bard · 04-12-2011, 09:51 PM

A brief disclaimer .... this post is in NO way reflective of Desd if anything she shows me the what you should do and I am forever grateful she took a chance on this Cowboi

DON'T ever use our child as a pawn or for that matter make fun of me in front of her.. she thinks the world of BOTH of us and when you laugh at me call me names infer that I am dumb it HURTS her

Make fun or belittle my Military service yes I know I signed up for it but it was not my vacation from you or the child it broke me to be away from her

don't go through my phone or email I will flipp and it ain't gonna be purddy

don't try to change me I ain't broken flawed yes scared hell yeah

Lastly and this is for me DON"T EVER take her for granted

Starbuck · 04-12-2011, 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nat

I'm a cheese addict. It's a sad life. But thankfully I'm loved. Though I think she might be catching my cheese addiction. Mmmm feta.

Hey I think cheese should be it's own food group!

Starbuck · 04-12-2011, 10:27 PM

Don't make me a yo-yo, meaning push me away then draw me back in with your loving, caring behavior. Make your mind up already!

If you decide we're no longer compatible, let me know! Don't just stop talking to me!

Don't take that which I've shared with you and spread rumors against me.

CherryFemme · 04-12-2011, 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nat

I actually heard this one on a podcast about successful and happy long-term marriages -

Don't forget to create opportunities to laugh together.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Oh that is a good one-- I know I laugh at blackboot all the time...

CF

simpleasdirt · 04-13-2011, 12:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blade

Don't shutdown.......keep the communication open

Exactly! The silent treatment doesn't resolve anything. If anything should be "fluid" in relationships, it's communication.

Soft*Silver · 04-13-2011, 12:08 AM

dont expect miracles out of the new person in your life. They are not the second coming of the messiah here to absolve your world of all the past sins of your past lovers. They are just another person who has a chance to love you. Dont screw it up by expecting too much out of them.

simpleasdirt · 04-13-2011, 12:08 AM

We should try not to react without thinking first.

msW8ing · 04-13-2011, 12:18 AM

Aretha said it best..R-E-S-P-E-C-T. ie..Even if thier wrong do not correct them in front of others..Never degrade or demean them..Open communication..Never let a day pass that you don't tell them how much they are loved, appreciated and admired, one key a counselor friend of mine said was to hug and kiss for at least 3 minutes when you get home...Grams said it best, think before you speak, you can't take back words.

girl_dee · 04-13-2011, 05:03 AM

Don't keep talking about your ex for Goddess sake! I would like to respect that relationship but if you keeping bringing them up it no longer appears you are over it!

dixie · 04-13-2011, 06:05 AM

Don't take advantage, nor take for granted.

JustJo · 04-13-2011, 07:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sassy_girl

Don't keep talking about your ex for Goddess sake! I would like to respect that relationship but if you keeping bringing them up it no longer appears you are over it!

And really do try to get over that one before you get into the next one....it isn't fair to either person to have an invisible third person in the relationship.

Remember that the opposite of love isn't hate....it's indifference. If you have emotions tied up with the ex, and can't be indifferent to their actions....then you aren't really over them yet.

AtLast · 04-13-2011, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustJo

And really do try to get over that one before you get into the next one....it isn't fair to either person to have an invisible third person in the relationship.

Remember that the opposite of love isn't hate....it's indifference. If you have emotions tied up with the ex, and can't be indifferent to their actions....then you aren't really over them yet.

Yup! Deal & heal before moving on! I am not going to help you work through your last relationship and I don't want to be compared to an ex. Be good to yourself and take some time before dating again and pursuing someone else seriously.

04-12-2011, 04:56 PM	#484
Nat Senior Member How Do You Identify?: bigender (DID System) Preferred Pronoun?: he/him or alter-specific Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Central TX Posts: 3,537 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,047 Thanked 13,971 Times in 2,591 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	I actually heard this one on a podcast about successful and happy long-term marriages - Don't forget to create opportunities to laugh together. According to the interviewee, regular laughter alleviates tensions and strengthens the bond. The guy claimed laughter produces oxytocin (the "bonding" or "trust" hormone also involved in labor/birth) but I haven't verified that. Anyway, it's good advice for me because I get so very serious so very often. __________________ I'm a fountain of blood. In the shape of a girl. - Bjork What is to give light must endure burning. -Viktor Frankl

04-12-2011, 07:12 PM	#487
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,855 Thanked 14,414 Times in 4,058 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Don't shutdown.......keep the communication open __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

04-12-2011, 09:51 PM	#489
Bard Family Man How Do You Identify?: TG Male Preferred Pronoun?: Masculine ones Relationship Status: She just gets me Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ..... Posts: 2,828 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,997 Thanked 12,786 Times in 2,431 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	A brief disclaimer .... this post is in NO way reflective of Desd if anything she shows me the what you should do and I am forever grateful she took a chance on this Cowboi DON'T ever use our child as a pawn or for that matter make fun of me in front of her.. she thinks the world of BOTH of us and when you laugh at me call me names infer that I am dumb it HURTS her Make fun or belittle my Military service yes I know I signed up for it but it was not my vacation from you or the child it broke me to be away from her don't go through my phone or email I will flipp and it ain't gonna be purddy don't try to change me I ain't broken flawed yes scared hell yeah Lastly and this is for me DON"T EVER take her for granted __________________ This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill Fifteen percent concentrated power of will Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain And a hundred percent reason to remember the name! Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it.

04-12-2011, 10:27 PM	#491
Starbuck Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Soft Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Oklahoma City Posts: 2,436 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,378 Thanked 2,148 Times in 756 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Don't make me a yo-yo, meaning push me away then draw me back in with your loving, caring behavior. Make your mind up already! If you decide we're no longer compatible, let me know! Don't just stop talking to me! Don't take that which I've shared with you and spread rumors against me. __________________ To forgive is to set the prisoner free, And then discover the prisoner was you.

04-13-2011, 12:08 AM	#494
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,592 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,907 Times in 4,062 Posts Rep Power*: 21474857	dont expect miracles out of the new person in your life. They are not the second coming of the messiah here to absolve your world of all the past sins of your past lovers. They are just another person who has a chance to love you. Dont screw it up by expecting too much out of them. __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

04-08-2011, 11:39 AM	#482
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,833 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	don't ignore your past failed relationships by engaging with the same person with a different name, you will get the same results

04-08-2011, 12:37 PM	#483
Glenn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Dear ol butch bones. Preferred Pronoun?: Old G Relationship Status: Too old to play. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: :rolleyes: Posts: 1,547 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,601 Thanked 3,729 Times in 1,095 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	You cannot buy Real love and attraction. It cannot be bought or sold.

04-12-2011, 07:18 PM	#488
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,833 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	don't tell all your private hardstuff unless you are absolutely sure it's ok.

04-13-2011, 12:08 AM	#495
simpleasdirt Junior Member How Do You Identify?: straight male/trans/ftm Preferred Pronoun?: he/him/his Relationship Status: Pursuing happiness Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Wyoming Posts: 14 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 149 Thanked 28 Times in 10 Posts Rep Power: 101	We should try not to react without thinking first.

04-13-2011, 12:18 AM	#496
msW8ing Member How Do You Identify?: multi-faceted gem, femme, submissive babygirl if the chemistry is there. Preferred Pronoun?: lady Relationship Status: working on myself Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Lewiston, Idaho Posts: 920 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,700 Thanked 2,497 Times in 654 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Aretha said it best..R-E-S-P-E-C-T. ie..Even if thier wrong do not correct them in front of others..Never degrade or demean them..Open communication..Never let a day pass that you don't tell them how much they are loved, appreciated and admired, one key a counselor friend of mine said was to hug and kiss for at least 3 minutes when you get home...Grams said it best, think before you speak, you can't take back words. __________________ *Don't judge me by my past..I don't live there anymore* A lady who knows the ropes..will never be bound. ~Mae West

04-13-2011, 05:03 AM	#497
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,833 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	Don't keep talking about your ex for Goddess sake! I would like to respect that relationship but if you keeping bringing them up it no longer appears you are over it!

04-13-2011, 06:05 AM	#498
dixie Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: I usually just poke it with a stick. Preferred Pronoun?: Bitch Relationship Status: Intertwined deeply Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: We're all a little mad here. Posts: 6,627 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,972 Thanked 21,383 Times in 4,808 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Don't take advantage, nor take for granted.