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Old 09-12-2015, 04:02 AM   #561
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A chill went thru my bones, as I remembered that day...
.... when I opened the box and found a maple leaf drenched in syrup.
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Old 09-12-2015, 04:16 AM   #562
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...I pondered what the sender intended with this gift, and what I will do now that my shovel is gone...
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Old 09-12-2015, 08:05 PM   #563
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...I pondered what the sender intended with this gift, and what I will do now that my shovel is gone...
but quitting my job at the cemetery was a lot easier than I had imagined when I learned how to make leafy mini, gift Christmas trees out Cheez Whiz and maple syrup, so...
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Old 09-27-2015, 06:01 PM   #564
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but quitting my job at the cemetery was a lot easier than I had imagined when I learned how to make leafy mini, gift Christmas trees out Cheez Whiz and maple syrup, so...
Fortunately, I came to my senses and resumed making Lemon Drop Martinis. Thank heavens, because....
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Old 09-27-2015, 06:06 PM   #565
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Fortunately, I came to my senses and resumed making Lemon Drop Martinis. Thank heavens, because....
The very next day some good looking woman told me HOW much she just loved Lemon Drop Martinis......
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Old 10-02-2015, 04:54 PM   #566
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The very next day some good looking woman told me HOW much she just loved Lemon Drop Martinis......
BUMP BUMP
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Old 10-07-2015, 03:25 PM   #567
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BUMP BUMP
She looked at me and said: That has to be the most sophisticated martini I've ever had; pity it's all sugar syrup and no alcohol
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Old 10-07-2015, 05:54 PM   #568
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She looked at me and said: That has to be the most sophisticated martini I've ever had; pity it's all sugar syrup and no alcohol
"Hey, I put plenty of booze in there" I said to her! She must of been..........
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Old 10-07-2015, 06:25 PM   #569
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"Hey, I put plenty of booze in there" I said to her! She must of been..........
gestational diabetic so it's just as well she didn't drink much of it and asked for........
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Old 10-07-2015, 06:56 PM   #570
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gestational diabetic so it's just as well she didn't drink much of it and asked for........
Some seltzer water to cut the sweetness, then...
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Old 10-07-2015, 07:00 PM   #571
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Some seltzer water to cut the sweetness, then...
she reached into her purse and brought out a pack of cigarettes, I immediately...
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Old 10-07-2015, 07:01 PM   #572
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Some seltzer water to cut the sweetness, then...
Lady Gaga phoned! She wanted to know if....
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Old 10-07-2015, 07:05 PM   #573
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Lady Gaga phoned! She wanted to know if....
there were any cigarettes in the
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Old 10-07-2015, 07:08 PM   #574
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there were any cigarettes in the
ashtray with her lipstick on them! Boy I got a big shock when I ran to look
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Old 10-07-2015, 07:11 PM   #575
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ashtray with her lipstick on them! Boy I got a big shock when I ran to look
tripped and landed face down on
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Old 10-07-2015, 07:25 PM   #576
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tripped and landed face down on
As I picked myself up and dusted myself off I felt..........
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Old 10-07-2015, 07:32 PM   #577
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As I picked myself up and dusted myself off I felt..........
a gun muzzle in the small of my back and a low soft voice saying....
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Old 10-07-2015, 07:34 PM   #578
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a gun muzzle in the small of my back and a low soft voice saying....
"Want to role play"? A huge smile came across my face as I recognized who the voice belonged to
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Old 10-07-2015, 07:37 PM   #579
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"Want to role play"? A huge smile came across my face as I recognized who the voice belonged to
it was the elevator operator i'd had sex with last week in Dubai's tallest building and she wanted....
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Old 10-09-2015, 05:05 PM   #580
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it was the elevator operator i'd had sex with last week in Dubai's tallest building and she wanted....
another go at it BUT.....
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