09-02-2012, 12:26 PM | #41 |
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LOL Words. Well if I do get married I will be the groom and wearing a tuxedo. So you never can tell.
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09-02-2012, 12:27 PM | #42 |
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I'm kind of an old fashioned guy who holds on to some rituals. With my second wife, she had three children. Her daughter, the youngest, was displaced 1,000 miles from her home & friends right after 8th grade graduation when her mother moved up here to me after doing LDR for a year. We discussed marriage but I did take one on one time with the kids to tell them my intent & in essence ask their permission. I was fairly sure it would be yes because their mom was very happy. However, had it been no, I doubt we would have married. The children are part of the package & they need to be just as happy. In the end, they were thrilled, I proposed, she said yes & both her sons walked her down the aisle.
Just my experience.
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09-02-2012, 12:29 PM | #43 | |
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09-02-2012, 12:29 PM | #44 |
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09-02-2012, 12:30 PM | #45 |
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Thanks for clarifying
I get it now, so you are in a heteronormative/straight relationship, therefore you being butch=male and she being femme=female.
So since you are butch=male you went with the whole ask for her hand in marriage etc etc. I get it. I thought I'd share a thread Mrs Arcstriker started for couples such as yourselves here is the link CLICK ME You'd probably get more traditional advice from them than most of us. Good luck on your nuptials!!
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09-02-2012, 12:32 PM | #46 | |
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And your reasons for not marrying, if the kids had been opposed to it, would have been out of putting them first, and being compassionate about their needs. It shows good parental instinct. My sense is that (ironically) if they had been opposed to the marriage and your response was not to marry, that would have prompted them to trust you more, and it might have put them on a path to accept the marriage at a later point. But a partner's parents are not in the same category as a partner's kids, and the response comes from a different place. (Goes without saying but I'm saying it anyway) |
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09-02-2012, 12:32 PM | #47 |
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Thank you! It is not a wedding anniversary but very meaningful for us.
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09-02-2012, 12:41 PM | #48 | |
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09-02-2012, 12:46 PM | #49 | |
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But in regards to asking the father before the bride.... My view is what other's have said. It reminds me of the time that the women had no say about who they married or when. A bio man asked the father, they shook on it and there may have been a dowry in the works and that was that. It had as much to do with money as it did the girl, IMO. Next thing the girl was told she was getting married. End of story. Sounds horrible. On the flip side though, i do believe it is sorta ok to tell the parents or family prior to asking the wife. Key word is "tell or inform". That's my view on it though. I mean to each his/hys/her own, but that would be creepy to me. My father is deceased, but if he were still alive, i don't think i would like that at all.
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09-02-2012, 12:54 PM | #50 | |
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Fact!
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This rings true for *me*, if The Pack says no, then no kinda long lasting relationship will form. That's a whole other thread...
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09-02-2012, 12:58 PM | #51 | |
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If mamma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. ;-)
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09-02-2012, 01:01 PM | #52 |
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Lady-I'm not trans.
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09-02-2012, 01:05 PM | #53 |
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I know, I gathered this from what *you* told me.
butch=male femme=female I NEVER assign or assume gender roles, I go with what people tell me they are or how they live.
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"If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden Last edited by The_Lady_Snow; 09-02-2012 at 01:05 PM. Reason: to many t's |
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09-02-2012, 01:08 PM | #54 | |
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I was raised in a very strong matriarchial family. Most of the women raised the family primarily on their own and worked. In my extended family you want to pass mustard with my mom, her sisters, and my twin sister.
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09-02-2012, 01:17 PM | #55 | |
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09-02-2012, 01:33 PM | #56 | |
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And not necessarily a bad thing. Hey, instead of having wars, we'd just have a bunch of countries not talking to each other. Lol.
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09-02-2012, 01:35 PM | #57 | |
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Say whatttttttttt?!
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Fo' realz??? I identify with Greyson's dynamic, coming from a Latina/o Mexican/Chicana/o culture it's our women who say how things roll..
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09-02-2012, 01:36 PM | #58 | |
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09-02-2012, 01:39 PM | #59 |
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No disrespect, Lady, just my personal observation & opinion.
And I did say its a good thing. Women have a much better reasoning power than we do. IMO
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09-02-2012, 01:40 PM | #60 | |
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True story
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Also scientifically YOU have the same brain I do... So your observations make no sense to me...
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"If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden |
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