what NOT to do in a relationship....... - Page 30

SleepyButch · 12-28-2012, 08:55 PM

What not to do in a relationship:

This really holds true with any relationship... don't lie... really there is no point. The truth always comes out in the end at least that is what I believe.

Don't tell someone you love them if you don't mean it.

Don't forget that you are in the relationship for a reason, if you forget why, take a step back, analyze and see if it's right for you. Sometimes we forget what brought us to that person in the first place because we get too busy with everything else.

Don't forget to breath. It's important.

Don't forget to tell the one you love how you feel. Don't let that become habit. Make it mean something when you say it.

Don't settle for just anyone... life is too damn short!

girl_dee · 03-17-2013, 12:28 PM

Don't live a fantasy. Life and love are about the muckity muck as much as the bliss.

little_ms_sunshyne · 03-17-2013, 12:39 PM

Don't take each other for granted

girl_dee · 03-17-2013, 12:44 PM

don't forget what that first week was like....

Ascot · 03-17-2013, 01:00 PM

Don't be a douche. It's pretty basic.

Sweet Bliss · 03-20-2013, 08:54 AM

When you see a bill in your name for a magazine, don't assume the woman who loves you is "using your name to get stuff".... Because it may just mean that you got to the mail before she did.... and now your gift is spoiled by your ugly remark.

Jumping to conclusions is like jumping off a cliff, it's not gonna end pretty.

Sweet Bliss · 03-20-2013, 02:03 PM

Refrain from saying 'all my exes.........' if you feel hurt, get some help. Assuming your current love is 'just like' your exes does both of you an injustice. It sets the stage for animosity.

Ascot · 03-20-2013, 02:15 PM

For the love of God, please don't be clingy or needy. I get that you have needs. We all have needs. Express them as an adult, sans whingeing.

CA_BabyCakes · 03-20-2013, 02:23 PM

Dont assume that everyone has the same do's and don't as you do.

What one assume to be a rule breaker another might see as adorable.

VintageFemme · 03-20-2013, 02:46 PM

OMGosh I am never going to be someone to give relationship advice on what to do however sadly *lol* in my experience, I am quite able to give advice on what NOT to do...

Don't assume. Ever.
Don't withdraw... you are a couple, that means two.
Don't mistrust without a reason.
Don't bring that third person [exes] into your bed. Ever.
Don't let small problems become monsters. They will if you don't address them. You can't wish problems away & monsters will eat you.
Don't let ego come before your heart.
Don't forget the tiny things... they mean everything.

Blade · 03-20-2013, 03:07 PM

procrastinate telling someone you love them,

Diablo · 03-20-2013, 03:46 PM

finally!!!! My kind of thread!!!

TheMerryFairy · 03-20-2013, 04:01 PM

Don't ever underestimate me and I mean that in the non harmful way

Admin · 03-20-2013, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AscotButch

Don't be a douche. It's pretty basic.

Ascot-

This post was reported for being problematic.

Here's the thing, this is supposed to be woman-positive space and I'd like to think we can do a little deeper digging around language that has been used in ways that don't honor women.

I know that "douche bag" is popular vernacular right now but how about a word like "asshat" or "dumbass"? Those words don't hold the same kind of negativity in women's space that calling someone a "douche", a "twat", a "bitch", a "cunt", a "whore", a "slut", a "tampon", and "insert other words that are not woman positive unless consented to" tend to hold.

Thanks,
Admin

FeminineAllure · 03-20-2013, 09:14 PM

You are even in a relationship and find out what NOT to do...

Are you *available* to put the time into having and nurturing one?

Will it be or become one of your *priorities* to be in one?

LDR are not easy. Think long and hard if you are capable of *sustaining* one BEFORE you start having feelings for that awesome femme or butch. <that look out the window together on the phone in the morning and one has 6 feet of snow and the other is watching seagulls flying around and its 75 degrees outside at 8am and 11am for the other.> It took 3 hours to shovel and clean the car off

This is where the "I wish you were here" begins. For the record I am not against LDR I have seen plenty work out wonderfully.

And the last one...
ARE YOU TRULY AVAILABLE mentally,emotionally, physically and spiritually TO EVEN BE IN A RELATIONSHIP???
What does *single* mean to you?
The time spent reflecting after your relationship has ended is when you *truly* learn what not to do in your next relationship. It hurts but its a gift

MysticOceansFL · 03-20-2013, 09:53 PM

Simply don't assume.

TheMerryFairy · 03-20-2013, 10:03 PM

Don't ignore the other persons needs.

Guy · 03-20-2013, 10:04 PM

Don't lose track of how much time you spend on online (e.g. connect with facebook friends, play games, groups etc)
Establish a healthy dose of time and stick to it

s0litude · 03-20-2013, 10:47 PM

Don't lose who YOU are in who you are together. Have separate interests and activities and SOMEONE who understands, appreciates, and RESPECTS this.

Don't CHANGE who you are for that person. Don't be someone you are not or cannot be/become. We all strive to be the best versions of ourselves, but stay the natural course of your life. Row your own boat and hope they are on the same route and not prone to seasickness.

... But be willing to hold her hair out of the way and rub her back if she is.

firegal · 03-20-2013, 10:53 PM

...to get in one when your not ready!

I've been patient...waited...looked at me!
My time is coming.

12-28-2012, 08:55 PM	#581
SleepyButch Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Dude Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him Relationship Status: Taken Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Hidden Valley Ranch Posts: 3,511 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,220 Thanked 11,248 Times in 2,754 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	What not to do in a relationship: This really holds true with any relationship... don't lie... really there is no point. The truth always comes out in the end at least that is what I believe. Don't tell someone you love them if you don't mean it. Don't forget that you are in the relationship for a reason, if you forget why, take a step back, analyze and see if it's right for you. Sometimes we forget what brought us to that person in the first place because we get too busy with everything else. Don't forget to breath. It's important. Don't forget to tell the one you love how you feel. Don't let that become habit. Make it mean something when you say it. Don't settle for just anyone... life is too damn short! __________________ . You cannot embrace those things that will not embrace you back.

03-17-2013, 01:00 PM	#585
Ascot Member How Do You Identify?: Preppy Butch artist Relationship Status: Riding solo Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: North of the Emerald City Posts: 1,135 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 179 Thanked 2,487 Times in 549 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Don't be a douche. It's pretty basic. __________________ Now, if I could just find a way to get paid for what I can do with my tongue and a cherry stem.

03-20-2013, 08:54 AM	#586
Sweet Bliss Senior Member How Do You Identify?: I Am Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: solo Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: the Beach, Pacific side Posts: 4,160 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,354 Thanked 7,268 Times in 2,159 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	more don'ts When you see a bill in your name for a magazine, don't assume the woman who loves you is "using your name to get stuff".... Because it may just mean that you got to the mail before she did.... and now your gift is spoiled by your ugly remark. Jumping to conclusions is like jumping off a cliff, it's not gonna end pretty.

03-20-2013, 02:15 PM	#588
Ascot Member How Do You Identify?: Preppy Butch artist Relationship Status: Riding solo Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: North of the Emerald City Posts: 1,135 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 179 Thanked 2,487 Times in 549 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	For the love of God, please don't be clingy or needy. I get that you have needs. We all have needs. Express them as an adult, sans whingeing. __________________ Now, if I could just find a way to get paid for what I can do with my tongue and a cherry stem.

03-20-2013, 02:46 PM	#590
VintageFemme Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Outside Posts: 2,299 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,828 Thanked 7,620 Times in 1,655 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	OMGosh I am never going to be someone to give relationship advice on what to do however sadly lol in my experience, I am quite able to give advice on what NOT to do... Don't assume. Ever. Don't withdraw... you are a couple, that means two. Don't mistrust without a reason. Don't bring that third person [exes] into your bed. Ever. Don't let small problems become monsters. They will if you don't address them. You can't wish problems away & monsters will eat you. Don't let ego come before your heart. Don't forget the tiny things... they mean everything. __________________ Unfinished Business & Open to Serendipity

03-17-2013, 12:28 PM	#582
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,833 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	Don't live a fantasy. Life and love are about the muckity muck as much as the bliss.

03-17-2013, 12:39 PM	#583
little_ms_sunshyne Senior Member How Do You Identify?: . Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: . Posts: 3,312 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,339 Thanked 12,241 Times in 2,541 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Don't take each other for granted

03-17-2013, 12:44 PM	#584
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,833 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	don't forget what that first week was like....

03-20-2013, 02:03 PM	#587
Sweet Bliss Senior Member How Do You Identify?: I Am Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: solo Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: the Beach, Pacific side Posts: 4,160 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,354 Thanked 7,268 Times in 2,159 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Refrain from saying 'all my exes.........' if you feel hurt, get some help. Assuming your current love is 'just like' your exes does both of you an injustice. It sets the stage for animosity.

03-20-2013, 02:23 PM	#589
CA_BabyCakes Member How Do You Identify?: All Femme Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: \ Posts: 364 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 231 Thanked 1,174 Times in 282 Posts Rep Power: 7129097	Dont assume that everyone has the same do's and don't as you do. What one assume to be a rule breaker another might see as adorable.

03-20-2013, 03:07 PM	#591
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,855 Thanked 14,414 Times in 4,058 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	procrastinate telling someone you love them, __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

03-20-2013, 03:46 PM	#592
Diablo Timed Out - Identity Issues How Do You Identify?: HUMAN Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Earth Posts: 843 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,128 Thanked 1,618 Times in 623 Posts Rep Power: 0	finally!!!! My kind of thread!!!

03-20-2013, 04:01 PM	#593
TheMerryFairy Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Pansexual/Sapiosexual femmey dyke who likes to crossdress now and then Preferred Pronoun?: She/her OR ze if I'm crossdressing Relationship Status: Floating and walking My path, happy in life. Join Date: Dec 2012 Location: On my Merry Fairy way! , Canada Posts: 3,630 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,727 Thanked 8,694 Times in 2,987 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Don't ever underestimate me and I mean that in the non harmful way

03-20-2013, 09:14 PM	#595
FeminineAllure Member How Do You Identify?: Female Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: My rainbow is way overdue Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: PA Posts: 1,145 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,659 Thanked 2,026 Times in 555 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Before... You are even in a relationship and find out what NOT to do... Are you available to put the time into having and nurturing one? Will it be or become one of your priorities to be in one? LDR are not easy. Think long and hard if you are capable of sustaining one BEFORE you start having feelings for that awesome femme or butch. <that look out the window together on the phone in the morning and one has 6 feet of snow and the other is watching seagulls flying around and its 75 degrees outside at 8am and 11am for the other.> It took 3 hours to shovel and clean the car off This is where the "I wish you were here" begins. For the record I am not against LDR I have seen plenty work out wonderfully. And the last one... ARE YOU TRULY AVAILABLE mentally,emotionally, physically and spiritually TO EVEN BE IN A RELATIONSHIP??? What does single mean to you? The time spent reflecting after your relationship has ended is when you truly learn what not to do in your next relationship. It hurts but its a gift __________________ Remember anyone can love you when the sun is shining...In the storm is where you learn who truly cares for you Last edited by FeminineAllure; 03-20-2013 at 09:21 PM.

03-20-2013, 09:53 PM	#596
MysticOceansFL Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch, Preferred Pronoun?: People call me by my nic name. Relationship Status: Not Single, Not Desperate. Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Florida Posts: 3,833 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,645 Thanked 4,033 Times in 1,720 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	. Simply don't assume. __________________ Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation. It is said, " Some lives are linked across time..... Connected by an ancient calling that echoes through the ages "......

03-20-2013, 10:03 PM	#597
TheMerryFairy Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Pansexual/Sapiosexual femmey dyke who likes to crossdress now and then Preferred Pronoun?: She/her OR ze if I'm crossdressing Relationship Status: Floating and walking My path, happy in life. Join Date: Dec 2012 Location: On my Merry Fairy way! , Canada Posts: 3,630 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,727 Thanked 8,694 Times in 2,987 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Don't ignore the other persons needs.

03-20-2013, 10:04 PM	#598
Guy Senior Member How Do You Identify?: . Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: . Posts: 1,858 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,258 Thanked 2,574 Times in 889 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Don't lose track of how much time you spend on online (e.g. connect with facebook friends, play games, groups etc) Establish a healthy dose of time and stick to it

03-20-2013, 10:47 PM	#599
s0litude Member How Do You Identify?: Transman - HRT / No Surgery Preferred Pronoun?: Male Relationship Status: Single, but enjoying the journey.... Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: North Carolina (NE) Posts: 366 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 525 Thanked 1,210 Times in 310 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	What NOT to do in a relationship.... Don't lose who YOU are in who you are together. Have separate interests and activities and SOMEONE who understands, appreciates, and RESPECTS this. Don't CHANGE who you are for that person. Don't be someone you are not or cannot be/become. We all strive to be the best versions of ourselves, but stay the natural course of your life. Row your own boat and hope they are on the same route and not prone to seasickness. ... But be willing to hold her hair out of the way and rub her back if she is. __________________ "There never was any heart truly great and generous, that was not also tender and compassionate." Robert Frost

03-20-2013, 10:53 PM	#600
firegal Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: Don't let the gal part of my screen name fool ya I,m ALL butch! Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Tacoma,Washington Posts: 2,907 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 15,853 Thanked 11,704 Times in 2,469 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	.... ...to get in one when your not ready! I've been patient...waited...looked at me! My time is coming.