What is on your mind - Page 361

AtLast · 01-30-2012, 05:20 AM

I just found out that a close friend is very ill. I'm numb at the moment. I know I will come out of the numbness and be there for her throughout. But, tonight I just need to be numb so I get the courage up to face this outside of myself to be as good of friend as she has always been to me.

TheDreadPirateRoberts · 01-30-2012, 05:33 PM

mmm...wondering how your day is....what you're thinking of....how our kids did in school today....if the monster will want food soon.....

Mr Nice Guy · 01-30-2012, 06:00 PM

Bruised, battered and tired. Damn!!! My job is killing me. Lol

ButchEire · 01-30-2012, 06:33 PM

It takes a lot, but i'm pissed. My best friend,attempting to provide advice on how to dress for a job interview, suggests that I try to look "pretty" and wear a "blouse." First off, i've never blown a job interview. Second, i've never given him the slightest impression that i'm even remotely female. I'm pissed and yet, can't really say much right now until this job is in the proverbial bag, I have insurance and can begin transitioning. I don't throw f-bombs around, but this evening, I am.

Ryobi · 01-31-2012, 11:15 PM

Death and Birthdays. I didn't realize until a few days ago, the 3 deaths in my life in 2011, were people that had birthdays 3 days in a row in 2012. Today, tomorrow and Thursday. Yes, it happened every year, b-days in a row. They're still in a row, none of them are here to have the celebration. Just feels really weird.

I'm still too pissed off at 2 of them to wish them happy anything.

I love you, mom. Happy Birthday.

smouldering · 02-01-2012, 06:11 AM

I am thinking about all the stuff that needs to be done, im thinking about moving and hoping its some place where we can just settle down, in 4 years i have moved 3 times and i am just ready to find a place i am confident in calling home.

SnackTime · 02-01-2012, 09:34 PM

My first major test on Friday

Gemme · 02-02-2012, 09:29 PM

Moving. Bah. It's right up there with death and divorce in terms of stress. The ironic thing is that I help folks who are moving and/or relocating in one way or another. It's my job, but I. don't. want. to. do. it. for. myself.

Bah.

Luckily, there's less 'stuff' than in previous moves and, this time, it won't be cross country or even cross 'coasts'. It will be within a few miles of the old and new place, thank goodness.

I still don't like it.

The cleaning and sorting and filing and disposing/donating/tossing of one's collected 'things' is a tedious and long task (unless you're a minimalist, which I am not) and then there's the sentimental stuff. The stuff that you start to pack into boxes and totes and whatnot, but the memories are faster than your hands and then you're smiling or crying or both and you realize you've held that one photo for several minutes now.

Rinse, lather, repeat.

I hate moving.

Almost as much as I hate the final cleaning of the old place, which is why we're getting a maid service to do that. Even if it eats up our refunded deposit, it's worth it not to do it.

*me looking on the bright side of a very annoying and dark cloud*

Massive · 02-03-2012, 02:06 AM

Just one week of not feeling like shite, one week where I can sleep for longer than four hours a day. If it was just having to deal with being sick for most of this year it would be fine, but I've got to deal with all the bullshit the british government's put in place to get all the wasters who are claiming disability back into work, when I've already spent years telling them that I would be working if I could, bunch of fucking wankers...
Thanks, needed that rant

Rockinonahigh · 02-03-2012, 02:19 AM

I feel for ya,im up at 2:15am cause my back and hip is keeping me up with throbing pain.Im dealing with the medicaid system hear thats really bad about throwing more pain pills at the problem insted of doing something about it,the pain and spazzims have been going down my sciatica from mid back to my tail bone right on down my leg,it burns something awfull and I cant take another pain pill for hours,I try real hard not to take any more meds than I have to..everytime I take a step its like a bear is chewing off my leg and hip the more I walk the worst it is.I hope you find some relief from your problems,we all deserve better from the folks who are suposed to keep us in good health.

Mr Nice Guy · 02-03-2012, 05:23 AM

What to do about my lost W2's.

Mr Nice Guy · 02-03-2012, 12:26 PM

Ok all set with my W2's. Thanks everyone. On another note, I need help. I never ask for help but I'm doing it now. This is how desperate I am. I need something to ward off all this negativity and help get my chakra in line. I'd look myself but I really want to do this right. I know I can order stuff online but I want to deal with a real person who lives their lives with this kind of stuff. Just something on a rope to wear so I can stop having all these problems. Of course it would help if my mom would move but that won't happen until she finds housing. My year started off not good. I'm tired of being stressed and falling down stairs or losing stuff. Please help. I'd rather it be something made from a Wiccan or someone who knows that stuff So if anyone could help then thanks.

Sassy · 02-03-2012, 03:39 PM

Sagittarius: You could feel a bit uneasy as the changeable Gemini Moon visits your 7th House of Partnerships. You're not trying to offend anyone, but your need to be honest outweighs any other desires today. If you're not walking your talk now, you'll end up diminishing your spirit. As long as you remember to act compassionately to others, your journey of self-discovery will continue to be a source of inspiration.

=============

Ouch. Just, ouch. OK, thank you, Universe. I needed that knock on the noggin' ... *sigh*

Massive · 02-03-2012, 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockinonahigh

I feel for ya,im up at 2:15am cause my back and hip is keeping me up with throbing pain.Im dealing with the medicaid system hear thats really bad about throwing more pain pills at the problem insted of doing something about it,the pain and spazzims have been going down my sciatica from mid back to my tail bone right on down my leg,it burns something awfull and I cant take another pain pill for hours,I try real hard not to take any more meds than I have to..everytime I take a step its like a bear is chewing off my leg and hip the more I walk the worst it is.I hope you find some relief from your problems,we all deserve better from the folks who are suposed to keep us in good health.

Thank you my friend, I totally understand where you're coming from there, I've had the same thing too. Have you tried using heat packs or those wheat sacks you heat up in the microwave? They both help me when I'm in pain, so does using those sprays that warm the skin too, or a hot bath/shower when it's easing off when the painkillers kick in? Not sitting or standing for too long can help too, I know it sounds insane, but walking can help even when it's really painful, you seize up completely if you can't stay mobile.
I hope you start feeling better soon too, there's nothing worse than being in chronic pain.

PinkieLee · 02-06-2012, 11:19 AM

What's on my mind right now...

D's mom's test results in less than an hour. We will find out if the radiation worked and what the next step is gonna be. Any & all positive thoughts could really be used right now y'all.

Novelafemme · 02-06-2012, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PinkieLee

What's on my mind right now...

D's mom's test results in less than an hour. We will find out if the radiation worked and what the next step is gonna be. Any & all positive thoughts could really be used right now y'all.

Sending lots of love and light your way, PinkieLee. I know how stressful the wait can be.

clay · 02-06-2012, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Novelafemme

Sending lots of love and light your way, PinkieLee. I know how stressful the wait can be.

Warm white light of energy coming your way, Pinkie...and to D's mom...BIG hugs all of you...Clay

luv2luvgirls · 02-06-2012, 12:33 PM

life is full of unexpected surprises.. some good and some not.. but its worth the ride!

Dominique · 02-06-2012, 05:26 PM

I like thinking that I bought a new home, so I wouldn't be bothered with many of those pesky home repairs. It's just shy of twenty years now, and it's no longer new. The pesky repairs are popping up and I'm not nearly as patient as I used to be.

Over the weekend, I decieded to investigate why, periodically, the toilet would run. The rubber flapper was all distorted and needed replaced. While at Home Depot, I bought a two tier flush system to install.

The first step to the installation was to turn of the water supply. No problem. Except, I snapped the valve stem right off! Now that needs replaced. I was so ticked off and calling it nice french names, I some how
snapped the bottom of the toilet seat half off. My attempt to remove the rather nice toilet seat (now broken) encountered faux brass bolts that had rusted and the plastic nut is on so tight, the faux brass bolt has to be sawed off with a hack saw blade with barely any room to work....and I really should saw from underneath to avoid scratching the porcelain bowl.

Why didn't I just buy the $4.58 rubber flapper and leave everything alone??? I'm afraid to touch anything right now for fear of what it will lead to next. My ego will not permit me hiring a professional for these pesky repairs..

That bathroom is closed until further notice.

Soft*Silver · 02-06-2012, 09:36 PM

well, this is a really sensitive topic. I have been having a D/s relationship with a male. His name is Christopher. Christopher has his own apartment. Well, he did until recently. He moved in with me to tend to me while I recovered from my shoulder surgery. While I loved him dearly, I would not commit to being in love with him because I had been hurt one too many times. I wanted a tender D/s relationship and that was all. We negotiated the terms and found what suited us both and agreed upon it.

but while he was tending to me this time, something softened inside me. He had helped me during my stumach surgery as well, but he wasnt living with me. I think because he was here around the clock and because we had developed such an intense D/s relationship, which you know is founded in trust, I felt myself release....

part of me is very puzzled because he is a genetic male. But he is also a budding MtF. He charms me like no one ever has, in a feminine way. Which then compounds the puzzlement. And in the mist of this puzzlement, I have admitted to myself, I am falling in love. Well no, I Am in love. Not what I ever expected but hey....

I still consider myself a lesbian. Many will not consider me as such. And many will not approve of me falling for a man. But, I dated FtMs. I as a lesbian when I dated them. I was a lesbian before I ever had a relationship with a female. In my core, I am a lesbian. I just happened to have fallen in love with a man. A man who is a budding MtF...a damn femme MtF too. Everything about me has turned upside down and inside out. Funny thing tho, if you do that to a pair of pants, they are still a pair of pants. They dont become a shirt. So i am still a lesbian no matter how I turn me.

so...this is what is on my mind. I softened. I am in love. I probably will marry him. We are both poorer than church mice but its better to be poor together than to be on your own and feel vulnerable and anxious on your own...

this too is what I meant when i said my life changed for the better when I turned 55, in a different thread. I have always cared deeply for him but its official now and I can share it with you...I am in love and i am going to get married....but, not in any hurry to do that. Probably not for a few years. Maybe 5. I tend to have cold feet....thats no surprise now is it?

01-30-2012, 05:33 PM	#7202
TheDreadPirateRoberts Member How Do You Identify?: self made Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: perfectly content with true love Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Here&There Posts: 576 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 407 Thanked 895 Times in 487 Posts Rep Power: 6114335	mmm...wondering how your day is....what you're thinking of....how our kids did in school today....if the monster will want food soon..... __________________ "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." - Thoreau

01-31-2012, 11:15 PM	#7205
Ryobi Member How Do You Identify?: TG Stone Butch. Over all, I identify by living my life. Preferred Pronoun?: He/His Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Upper Midwest Posts: 633 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 683 Thanked 1,238 Times in 357 Posts Rep Power: 12468328	Death and Birthdays. I didn't realize until a few days ago, the 3 deaths in my life in 2011, were people that had birthdays 3 days in a row in 2012. Today, tomorrow and Thursday. Yes, it happened every year, b-days in a row. They're still in a row, none of them are here to have the celebration. Just feels really weird. I'm still too pissed off at 2 of them to wish them happy anything. I love you, mom. Happy Birthday. __________________ "If you can't do great things, do small things in a great way" Napoleon Hill. "To choose a word is to choose a world" Anonymous

02-01-2012, 06:11 AM	#7206
smouldering Member How Do You Identify?: Punky girly girl, glittery femme Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, etc. Relationship Status: Single, Recovering Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Ohio Posts: 1,288 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,306 Thanked 3,974 Times in 924 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I am thinking about all the stuff that needs to be done, im thinking about moving and hoping its some place where we can just settle down, in 4 years i have moved 3 times and i am just ready to find a place i am confident in calling home. __________________ ~~Smouldering~~ Suit the action to the word, the word to the action. ~William Shakespeare

02-01-2012, 09:34 PM	#7207
SnackTime Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: UNattainable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Feeling the ocean breeze... Posts: 4,868 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,393 Thanked 13,228 Times in 2,883 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	My first major test on Friday __________________ "There's something to be said for not saying anything"

02-02-2012, 09:29 PM	#7208
Gemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?: She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The roads are narrow here Posts: 36,631 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 182,498 Thanked 107,972 Times in 25,664 Posts Rep Power: 21474888	Moving. Bah. It's right up there with death and divorce in terms of stress. The ironic thing is that I help folks who are moving and/or relocating in one way or another. It's my job, but I. don't. want. to. do. it. for. myself. Bah. Luckily, there's less 'stuff' than in previous moves and, this time, it won't be cross country or even cross 'coasts'. It will be within a few miles of the old and new place, thank goodness. I still don't like it. The cleaning and sorting and filing and disposing/donating/tossing of one's collected 'things' is a tedious and long task (unless you're a minimalist, which I am not) and then there's the sentimental stuff. The stuff that you start to pack into boxes and totes and whatnot, but the memories are faster than your hands and then you're smiling or crying or both and you realize you've held that one photo for several minutes now. Rinse, lather, repeat. I hate moving. Almost as much as I hate the final cleaning of the old place, which is why we're getting a maid service to do that. Even if it eats up our refunded deposit, it's worth it not to do it. me looking on the bright side of a very annoying and dark cloud __________________ Gemme's Journal I'm misunderestimated.

01-30-2012, 05:20 AM	#7201
AtLast Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Woman Preferred Pronoun?: HER - SHE Relationship Status: Relating Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: CA & AZ I'm a Snowbird Posts: 5,408 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,826 Thanked 10,827 Times in 3,199 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	I just found out that a close friend is very ill. I'm numb at the moment. I know I will come out of the numbness and be there for her throughout. But, tonight I just need to be numb so I get the courage up to face this outside of myself to be as good of friend as she has always been to me.

01-30-2012, 06:00 PM	#7203
Mr Nice Guy Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Kind, sweet, loving, romantic and a rare Butch. :) Relationship Status: I don't drive a Uhaul. :) Join Date: May 2011 Location: Another New Englander Posts: 1,768 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,035 Thanked 4,894 Times in 1,307 Posts Rep Power: 0	Bruised, battered and tired. Damn!!! My job is killing me. Lol

01-30-2012, 06:33 PM	#7204
ButchEire Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Permanent ban 3/17/2013 - TROLL Relationship Status: Partner to my best friend Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: For now, Buffalo Posts: 701 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,618 Thanked 1,874 Times in 485 Posts Rep Power: 0	It takes a lot, but i'm pissed. My best friend,attempting to provide advice on how to dress for a job interview, suggests that I try to look "pretty" and wear a "blouse." First off, i've never blown a job interview. Second, i've never given him the slightest impression that i'm even remotely female. I'm pissed and yet, can't really say much right now until this job is in the proverbial bag, I have insurance and can begin transitioning. I don't throw f-bombs around, but this evening, I am.

02-03-2012, 02:06 AM	#7209
Massive Member How Do You Identify?: Trans man Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him Relationship Status: not looking Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Northern England Posts: 945 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,669 Thanked 2,383 Times in 765 Posts Rep Power: 17762095	Just one week of not feeling like shite, one week where I can sleep for longer than four hours a day. If it was just having to deal with being sick for most of this year it would be fine, but I've got to deal with all the bullshit the british government's put in place to get all the wasters who are claiming disability back into work, when I've already spent years telling them that I would be working if I could, bunch of fucking wankers... Thanks, needed that rant __________________ You may not be able to choose your bio-family, but you can choose your Family

02-03-2012, 02:19 AM	#7210
Rockinonahigh Senior Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: makes no diffrence,I know who I am. Relationship Status: single,maybe looking if the right person comes along. Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: shreveport,Louisiana Posts: 4,907 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,682 Thanked 14,933 Times in 3,938 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Massive I feel for ya,im up at 2:15am cause my back and hip is keeping me up with throbing pain.Im dealing with the medicaid system hear thats really bad about throwing more pain pills at the problem insted of doing something about it,the pain and spazzims have been going down my sciatica from mid back to my tail bone right on down my leg,it burns something awfull and I cant take another pain pill for hours,I try real hard not to take any more meds than I have to..everytime I take a step its like a bear is chewing off my leg and hip the more I walk the worst it is.I hope you find some relief from your problems,we all deserve better from the folks who are suposed to keep us in good health.

02-03-2012, 05:23 AM	#7211
Mr Nice Guy Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Kind, sweet, loving, romantic and a rare Butch. :) Relationship Status: I don't drive a Uhaul. :) Join Date: May 2011 Location: Another New Englander Posts: 1,768 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,035 Thanked 4,894 Times in 1,307 Posts Rep Power: 0	What to do about my lost W2's.

02-03-2012, 12:26 PM	#7212
Mr Nice Guy Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Kind, sweet, loving, romantic and a rare Butch. :) Relationship Status: I don't drive a Uhaul. :) Join Date: May 2011 Location: Another New Englander Posts: 1,768 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,035 Thanked 4,894 Times in 1,307 Posts Rep Power: 0	Ok all set with my W2's. Thanks everyone. On another note, I need help. I never ask for help but I'm doing it now. This is how desperate I am. I need something to ward off all this negativity and help get my chakra in line. I'd look myself but I really want to do this right. I know I can order stuff online but I want to deal with a real person who lives their lives with this kind of stuff. Just something on a rope to wear so I can stop having all these problems. Of course it would help if my mom would move but that won't happen until she finds housing. My year started off not good. I'm tired of being stressed and falling down stairs or losing stuff. Please help. I'd rather it be something made from a Wiccan or someone who knows that stuff So if anyone could help then thanks.

02-03-2012, 03:39 PM	#7213
Sassy Member How Do You Identify?: Female Relationship Status: Together Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: In the sunshine Posts: 598 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 815 Thanked 1,929 Times in 460 Posts Rep Power: 19641163	Sagittarius: You could feel a bit uneasy as the changeable Gemini Moon visits your 7th House of Partnerships. You're not trying to offend anyone, but your need to be honest outweighs any other desires today. If you're not walking your talk now, you'll end up diminishing your spirit. As long as you remember to act compassionately to others, your journey of self-discovery will continue to be a source of inspiration. ============= Ouch. Just, ouch. OK, thank you, Universe. I needed that knock on the noggin' ... sigh

02-06-2012, 11:19 AM	#7215
PinkieLee Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: I need ya boo, gotta see ya boo Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Big Money Texas Posts: 4,708 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 24,309 Thanked 13,074 Times in 3,049 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	What's on my mind right now... D's mom's test results in less than an hour. We will find out if the radiation worked and what the next step is gonna be. Any & all positive thoughts could really be used right now y'all.

02-06-2012, 12:33 PM	#7218
luv2luvgirls Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Asshole Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Kentucky/Austin/Wherever Posts: 2,310 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,387 Thanked 5,470 Times in 1,827 Posts Rep Power: 0	life is full of unexpected surprises.. some good and some not.. but its worth the ride!

02-06-2012, 05:26 PM	#7219
Dominique Member How Do You Identify?: Female/Lesbian/half the athlete I used to be Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: Dates Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: So proud to be a Pittsburgher Posts: 1,484 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,645 Thanked 3,730 Times in 1,166 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I like thinking that I bought a new home, so I wouldn't be bothered with many of those pesky home repairs. It's just shy of twenty years now, and it's no longer new. The pesky repairs are popping up and I'm not nearly as patient as I used to be. Over the weekend, I decieded to investigate why, periodically, the toilet would run. The rubber flapper was all distorted and needed replaced. While at Home Depot, I bought a two tier flush system to install. The first step to the installation was to turn of the water supply. No problem. Except, I snapped the valve stem right off! Now that needs replaced. I was so ticked off and calling it nice french names, I some how snapped the bottom of the toilet seat half off. My attempt to remove the rather nice toilet seat (now broken) encountered faux brass bolts that had rusted and the plastic nut is on so tight, the faux brass bolt has to be sawed off with a hack saw blade with barely any room to work....and I really should saw from underneath to avoid scratching the porcelain bowl. Why didn't I just buy the $4.58 rubber flapper and leave everything alone??? I'm afraid to touch anything right now for fear of what it will lead to next. My ego will not permit me hiring a professional for these pesky repairs.. That bathroom is closed until further notice. __________________ As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be??

02-06-2012, 09:36 PM	#7220
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,592 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,908 Times in 4,062 Posts Rep Power*: 21474857	well, this is a really sensitive topic. I have been having a D/s relationship with a male. His name is Christopher. Christopher has his own apartment. Well, he did until recently. He moved in with me to tend to me while I recovered from my shoulder surgery. While I loved him dearly, I would not commit to being in love with him because I had been hurt one too many times. I wanted a tender D/s relationship and that was all. We negotiated the terms and found what suited us both and agreed upon it. but while he was tending to me this time, something softened inside me. He had helped me during my stumach surgery as well, but he wasnt living with me. I think because he was here around the clock and because we had developed such an intense D/s relationship, which you know is founded in trust, I felt myself release.... part of me is very puzzled because he is a genetic male. But he is also a budding MtF. He charms me like no one ever has, in a feminine way. Which then compounds the puzzlement. And in the mist of this puzzlement, I have admitted to myself, I am falling in love. Well no, I Am in love. Not what I ever expected but hey.... I still consider myself a lesbian. Many will not consider me as such. And many will not approve of me falling for a man. But, I dated FtMs. I as a lesbian when I dated them. I was a lesbian before I ever had a relationship with a female. In my core, I am a lesbian. I just happened to have fallen in love with a man. A man who is a budding MtF...a damn femme MtF too. Everything about me has turned upside down and inside out. Funny thing tho, if you do that to a pair of pants, they are still a pair of pants. They dont become a shirt. So i am still a lesbian no matter how I turn me. so...this is what is on my mind. I softened. I am in love. I probably will marry him. We are both poorer than church mice but its better to be poor together than to be on your own and feel vulnerable and anxious on your own... this too is what I meant when i said my life changed for the better when I turned 55, in a different thread. I have always cared deeply for him but its official now and I can share it with you...I am in love and i am going to get married....but, not in any hurry to do that. Probably not for a few years. Maybe 5. I tend to have cold feet....thats no surprise now is it?