Corny jokes - Page 42

charley · 02-18-2019, 01:49 AM

The past, the present and the future walked into a bar.

Things got a little tense.

charley · 02-18-2019, 02:00 AM

Before buying a dildo you should think long and hard.

Mopsie · 02-18-2019, 09:44 AM

charley · 02-19-2019, 12:42 PM

Not all math puns are bad. Just sum.

charley · 02-19-2019, 12:43 PM

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.

charley · 02-20-2019, 05:30 AM

A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns.

I soon realised that toucan play at that game.

charley · 02-20-2019, 05:32 AM

I can’t remember how to write 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals.

I’m LIVID.

Mopsie · 02-20-2019, 02:37 PM

charley · 02-21-2019, 05:50 AM

I used to date an air stewardess from Helsinki.

I dropped her off at work one day
and she just vanished into Finnair...

charley · 02-22-2019, 07:16 AM

This bloke said to me, “I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar.”

I said, “Is that a fret?”....

charley · 02-23-2019, 04:42 AM

This is my 10th pun, and last pun for awhile...

So, I sent ten different puns to my online "friends",
with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.

Orema · 04-20-2019, 09:22 AM

Q. What kind of bunny can’t hop?
A. A chocolate one!

Q. What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
A. Bugs Bunny!

Q. What did the bunny get for her basket?
A. Two points!

homoe · 04-20-2019, 09:26 AM

What are four hundred rabbits hopping backwards?

A receding hare line.

Who do you call when a rabbit needs a hair cut?

The Hare Dresser.

homoe · 04-20-2019, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janstevie

"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"

........

..........

ksrainbow · 04-25-2019, 05:51 PM

Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.

Ks-

A. Spectre · 04-26-2019, 04:00 AM

Me to my plumber yesterday after agreeing on a price for some work.

"I'll see you and your CRACK team of workers tomorrow."

Naturally, I was laughing my ass off in my indoor voice. He did not get it.

ksrainbow · 07-23-2019, 08:09 PM

Did you hear about the chicken who counted eggs?

She's known as a Mathamachicken-

What do chickens serve at birthday party's?

Coop-cakes-

What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?

A Hensemble-

Ks-

A. Spectre · 07-24-2019, 03:47 AM

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other?

Eileen

homoe · 07-25-2019, 02:21 AM

~~

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

Stone-Butch · 07-25-2019, 05:52 PM

How do you keep a bull from charging?

Cut up his Visa card

02-18-2019, 01:49 AM	#821
charley Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: gentle stonebutch [vanilla] Relationship Status: single Join Date: Dec 2017 Location: canada Posts: 497 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 906 Thanked 1,204 Times in 422 Posts Rep Power: 0	Pun 2 The past, the present and the future walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.

02-18-2019, 02:00 AM	#822
charley Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: gentle stonebutch [vanilla] Relationship Status: single Join Date: Dec 2017 Location: canada Posts: 497 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 906 Thanked 1,204 Times in 422 Posts Rep Power: 0	Pun 3 Before buying a dildo you should think long and hard.

02-19-2019, 12:42 PM	#824
charley Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: gentle stonebutch [vanilla] Relationship Status: single Join Date: Dec 2017 Location: canada Posts: 497 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 906 Thanked 1,204 Times in 422 Posts Rep Power: 0	Pun 4 Not all math puns are bad. Just sum.

02-19-2019, 12:43 PM	#825
charley Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: gentle stonebutch [vanilla] Relationship Status: single Join Date: Dec 2017 Location: canada Posts: 497 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 906 Thanked 1,204 Times in 422 Posts Rep Power: 0	Pun 5 Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.

02-20-2019, 05:30 AM	#826
charley Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: gentle stonebutch [vanilla] Relationship Status: single Join Date: Dec 2017 Location: canada Posts: 497 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 906 Thanked 1,204 Times in 422 Posts Rep Power: 0	Pun 6 A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns. I soon realised that toucan play at that game.

02-18-2019, 09:44 AM	#823
Mopsie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Female ones Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Shenandoah Valley Virginia Posts: 4,769 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 36,246 Thanked 8,551 Times in 1,856 Posts Rep Power: 21474853

02-20-2019, 05:32 AM	#827
charley Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: gentle stonebutch [vanilla] Relationship Status: single Join Date: Dec 2017 Location: canada Posts: 497 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 906 Thanked 1,204 Times in 422 Posts Rep Power: 0	Pun 7 I can’t remember how to write 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals. I’m LIVID.

02-20-2019, 02:37 PM	#828
Mopsie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Female ones Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Shenandoah Valley Virginia Posts: 4,769 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 36,246 Thanked 8,551 Times in 1,856 Posts Rep Power: 21474853

02-21-2019, 05:50 AM	#829
charley Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: gentle stonebutch [vanilla] Relationship Status: single Join Date: Dec 2017 Location: canada Posts: 497 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 906 Thanked 1,204 Times in 422 Posts Rep Power: 0	Pun 8 I used to date an air stewardess from Helsinki. I dropped her off at work one day and she just vanished into Finnair...

02-22-2019, 07:16 AM	#830
charley Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: gentle stonebutch [vanilla] Relationship Status: single Join Date: Dec 2017 Location: canada Posts: 497 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 906 Thanked 1,204 Times in 422 Posts Rep Power: 0	Pun 9 This bloke said to me, “I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar.” I said, “Is that a fret?”....

02-23-2019, 04:42 AM	#831
charley Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: gentle stonebutch [vanilla] Relationship Status: single Join Date: Dec 2017 Location: canada Posts: 497 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 906 Thanked 1,204 Times in 422 Posts Rep Power: 0	Pun 10 This is my 10th pun, and last pun for awhile... So, I sent ten different puns to my online "friends", with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

04-20-2019, 09:22 AM	#832
Orema Superlative Soul Sister How Do You Identify?: Lesbian stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Moving in a single file and sometimes a sinner. Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: Cottage of Content Posts: 13,693 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 41,476 Thanked 34,736 Times in 8,963 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	Q. What kind of bunny can’t hop? A. A chocolate one! Q. What do you call a rabbit with fleas? A. Bugs Bunny! Q. What did the bunny get for her basket? A. Two points!

04-20-2019, 09:26 AM	#833
homoe Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: ..... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle Posts: 38,565 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,811 Thanked 33,548 Times in 14,914 Posts Rep Power: 21474889	What are four hundred rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare line. Who do you call when a rabbit needs a hair cut? The Hare Dresser.

04-25-2019, 05:51 PM	#835
ksrainbow Member How Do You Identify?: Valued Relationship Status: UNO Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Kansas Posts: 773 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,759 Thanked 2,192 Times in 573 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Ya know I most likely have: Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before. Ks-

04-26-2019, 04:00 AM	#836
A. Spectre Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch dominant lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: She, Baby Boi Relationship Status: She is my sunrise and sunset. Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: North Shore Chicago Posts: 1,569 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,033 Thanked 11,079 Times in 1,496 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	Me to my plumber yesterday after agreeing on a price for some work. "I'll see you and your CRACK team of workers tomorrow." Naturally, I was laughing my ass off in my indoor voice. He did not get it. __________________ * * *Joy and Sorrow are Inseparable

07-23-2019, 08:09 PM	#837
ksrainbow Member How Do You Identify?: Valued Relationship Status: UNO Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Kansas Posts: 773 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,759 Thanked 2,192 Times in 573 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	*Something is a foul-** Did you hear about the chicken who counted eggs? She's known as a Mathamachicken- What do chickens serve at birthday party's? Coop-cakes- What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison? A Hensemble- Ks-

07-24-2019, 03:47 AM	#838
A. Spectre Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch dominant lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: She, Baby Boi Relationship Status: She is my sunrise and sunset. Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: North Shore Chicago Posts: 1,569 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,033 Thanked 11,079 Times in 1,496 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Eileen __________________ * * *Joy and Sorrow are Inseparable

07-25-2019, 02:21 AM	#839
homoe Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: ..... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle Posts: 38,565 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,811 Thanked 33,548 Times in 14,914 Posts Rep Power: 21474889	~~ Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.

07-25-2019, 05:52 PM	#840
Stone-Butch Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Stonebutch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 3,716 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,345 Thanked 9,407 Times in 3,072 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Jokes How do you keep a bull from charging? Cut up his Visa card