What Cracked You Up Today? - Page 46

Lady Pamela · 06-27-2013, 08:31 PM

I made some yummy lunch for my 3 year old grandson...And he runs over...hugs me and says,"I yuv you gamma! You a genius!

Miss Scarlett · 06-28-2013, 10:56 PM

Something completely inappropriate...but I simply could not help myself...really...

cinnamongrrl · 07-10-2013, 10:53 AM

At breakfast this morning with three lovely ladies of the elderly persuasion.....

A lady new to our table is asked what she would like to drink. She looks up at the CNA and says "gin and tonic".

I about bit my lip to keep from cracking up at the table... I do love my job

MissItalianDiva · 07-10-2013, 02:51 PM

I came across a whole different version of the song Blurred Lines music video and lol it's pretty freakin fabulous...the best part is near the end when the wall has "Robin Thicke has a big dick" written on it...lol here is the link [nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwT6DZCQi9k"]Blurred Lines (Unrated Version) - YouTube[/nomedia]

cinnamongrrl · 07-12-2013, 11:53 AM

It was a few days ago...but I just thought of it....

I was watching TV with my Tues/Wed client....and the 877 CASH NOW commercial comes on....and I started singing it because I always do...and she started singing it with me!

Seriously, commercials today are too catchy. This is a lady who doesn't even know her own kids/grandkids most days....but she remembers that...lol

cinnamongrrl · 07-16-2013, 10:55 AM

my little lady....

I was bringing her much detested walker to her..so she would remember to use it (visual cues seem to work better than verbal with her) and she looks at me all excited and says, "Oh! So YOU'RE using it now?!?"

Mmmhmmmm nice try.....she's adorable but tricky that one.....

Kenna · 07-16-2013, 06:58 PM

a one line statement on the "health " news app reads "the average penis size is 5.6 inches when erect"...

my first thought was "not in MY world".. *naughty chuckle*...

Blade · 07-20-2013, 06:08 AM

a text message with a picture attached............

the text read just pulled over on the side of a residential exit so she could poop on the potty in the back of my car (SUV)

the attachment was a picture of my 2 1/2 yr old Christmas Elf sitting on the potty in the back of the SUV with the back door open. She is grinning and has sleepy eyes, and dangling blonde curls as she poses on the big girl potty halfway to the beach.

Me..OMG she is gonna hate yall in 14 yrs

Tina....Oh we're gonna save this one for the yearbook!

cinnamongrrl · 07-20-2013, 07:51 PM

We were watching this ridiculous commercial for a hair curling product....

and I mockingly told Ted, if they are buy one get one free....I'm totally getting one!

No sooner were the words out of my mouth...then the big

BUT WAIT!!

came over the screen...and low and behold...yep....buy 1 get 1 free....

You have to see it to believe it...seriously....

https://www.aircurler.com/

Kenna · 07-20-2013, 10:37 PM

a day filled with laughter, goofy friends, meeting two of Blade's friends that I've waited 3 years to meet (and two of us simultaneously saying "AND you're not a figment of his imagination! ), silly faces made by the 'other That Woman' (said with respect) when she sipped my adult beverage ...and INSIDE jokes reflecting on memories of searching for cock rings ...

a great day and how buzzed I got from one lil drink ;-) ;-)

jac · 07-26-2013, 05:22 PM

So it's late afternoon and we're going through shift change. New shift comes on and the kids are loud and rambunctious. An older staff gets up and is heading to the kitchen to begin dinner... and in her attempt to be a smartass to the rest of us that are still amongst the rowdy teens says, "I'm going to the kitchen for my private time!"

What she really meant to say was quiet time!! Now we're throwing out the retorts of - Do you need us to leave? Will you be needing the whisk or other handy utensils? Ahahahahaaaa she won't be living that down for awhile... if I can help it!!

Blade · 07-31-2013, 03:21 PM

I was reading a post by Uniqueswtfemme and she mentioned Kris Kringle. It reminded me of a time years ago a group of friends were playing Trivial Pursuit. The question went to Patty, Who is Kris Kringle? She thought and thought and finally she came up with her answer. Remember this was back in my early 20's, we were at the lake and were all drinking....She wrinkles up her nose twist up her mouth and says.....is he the guy on the French fry commercial or the bag or something like that. OMG!!! A room full of drunks erupted into hysterical laughter. We laughed so hard at her seriousness and incorrect answer, that none of us could tell her who Kris Kringle was.

If any of you ole timers remember, there really was a commercial with an animated French fry person, I don't know that he had a name but it certainly wasn't Kris Kringle. He was sort of like the Planters Peanut animation.

Thanks for the memory and the laugh Uniqueswtfemme!

RockOn · 07-31-2013, 03:30 PM

Had to attend a mandatory Server Directives teleconference meeting at 3:00 today. I am here at the annex and we were hooked up with the main building. A fav Assistant Bureau Manager facilitated our meeting. She is an AfroAmerican woman with quick wit. I love her dearly! Our Bureau Chief facilitated over at the main building. At one point, we could not hear him ... he finally realized it and started in with the "Can you hear me now?" When we could hear him again, this way too cool, cocky woman said, "Unfortunately." She always gets great digs at this jackass. She is retiring after 36 years next month. I miss her already.

cinnamongrrl · 08-01-2013, 11:24 AM

Yesterday...

I was with my evening client. Her hubby of nearly 60 years was up and down...she asked me where he was going this time...I told her he was going to the kitchen and did she want me to put a rope around him to keep track of him? She says, "No. He always comes back!"

Today...

My client and I were leaving the dining room after breakfast...I was telling one of my fave ladies that we would be going to rosary at 10 and would she be there? She says..."well....I think I have a hair appointment....and you KNOW hair comes first!" I bout died laughing and told her I wouldnt tell god she said that. As we left she called out, "pray for me!!" Mmhmmm yes Fran. I think I best....

This is why I love what I do! <3

jac · 08-02-2013, 06:43 PM

Staff: Yes I can speak several languages.
Kid: *speaks a few words in Russian*
Staff: Was that Russian?
Kid: Well yeh.
Staff: How do you know Russian?
Kid: I have a little Russian in me.
Me: *holds fingers up to show an inch measurement* How big is the little guy?

I crack myself up!! And everyone else!!

LeftWriteFemme · 08-02-2013, 10:25 PM

DMW · 08-14-2013, 01:02 PM

LeftWriteFemme · 08-14-2013, 01:10 PM

Blade · 08-15-2013, 02:37 PM

After we ate supper I walked outside with my parents. I told them good bye and started to go back inside. Dad turned and said where are you going I said to the bathroom. Mom said be careful. HUH? Really? be careful in the bathroom? What am I gonna do fall in? Ummm not hardly.

Blade · 08-21-2013, 02:27 PM

As I road past the plastic recycle bin at work I tossed my empty bottle toward the 4 foot square bin, and missed it. I thought huh WTF? Then a memory hit me, years ago when I was young and stupid. I was a pro at hitting signs and mailboxes with empty beer bottles and now I can't hit a 4x4 box. LOL I could hit a target from the drivers side throwing over the top of the car. Damn I'm getting rusty in my old age. HUH? Old age, damn!

06-27-2013, 08:31 PM	#901
Lady Pamela Senior Member How Do You Identify?: A Lady..Femme..Free Spirit with a touch of survivalist woman in me. Preferred Pronoun?: Spiritual Warrior..She Ra..Baby Doll, or anything close..ha! Relationship Status: In perfect love and perfect trust I believe that will be directed..for now Just friends in my life. Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Live in Utah but take trips to Arkansas. Plan to move there eventually. Posts: 2,579 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,073 Thanked 5,940 Times in 1,609 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I made some yummy lunch for my 3 year old grandson...And he runs over...hugs me and says,"I yuv you gamma! You a genius! __________________ Believe what people show you the first time. It will keep you in balance, and will show you truth! ~~ Author unknown ~~ When negative thoughts come to mind, Let them die stillborn. Speak and do posotive in any situation, And watch your dreams grow and flurish. If you can't say anything posotive, Zip it up. Do not give birth to that which you do not want to see grow. See it, Believe it, Own it, Have it! ~~ Lady Pamela ~~

07-10-2013, 10:53 AM	#903
cinnamongrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: cleverly disguised as a responsible adult* Preferred Pronoun?: wild woman Relationship Status: No, thank you. Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Home in NC..gonna dig in like a tick this time… Posts: 7,661 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 15,231 Thanked 27,598 Times in 6,955 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	At breakfast this morning with three lovely ladies of the elderly persuasion..... A lady new to our table is asked what she would like to drink. She looks up at the CNA and says "gin and tonic". I about bit my lip to keep from cracking up at the table... I do love my job __________________

07-12-2013, 11:53 AM	#905
cinnamongrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: cleverly disguised as a responsible adult* Preferred Pronoun?: wild woman Relationship Status: No, thank you. Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Home in NC..gonna dig in like a tick this time… Posts: 7,661 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 15,231 Thanked 27,598 Times in 6,955 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	It was a few days ago...but I just thought of it.... I was watching TV with my Tues/Wed client....and the 877 CASH NOW commercial comes on....and I started singing it because I always do...and she started singing it with me! Seriously, commercials today are too catchy. This is a lady who doesn't even know her own kids/grandkids most days....but she remembers that...lol __________________

07-16-2013, 10:55 AM	#906
cinnamongrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: cleverly disguised as a responsible adult* Preferred Pronoun?: wild woman Relationship Status: No, thank you. Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Home in NC..gonna dig in like a tick this time… Posts: 7,661 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 15,231 Thanked 27,598 Times in 6,955 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	my little lady.... I was bringing her much detested walker to her..so she would remember to use it (visual cues seem to work better than verbal with her) and she looks at me all excited and says, "Oh! So YOU'RE using it now?!?" Mmmhmmmm nice try.....she's adorable but tricky that one..... __________________

07-16-2013, 06:58 PM	#907
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,806 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,624 Thanked 12,194 Times in 3,779 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	a one line statement on the "health " news app reads "the average penis size is 5.6 inches when erect"... my first thought was "not in MY world".. naughty chuckle... __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

06-28-2013, 10:56 PM	#902
Miss Scarlett Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: . Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: . Posts: 5,530 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,478 Thanked 12,947 Times in 3,419 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Something completely inappropriate...but I simply could not help myself...really...

07-10-2013, 02:51 PM	#904
MissItalianDiva Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Miss Twiggy Preferred Pronoun?: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and that shit doesn't sound atrocious! Relationship Status: divorce happens..all that glitters ain't gold Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: SLC Utah Posts: 2,284 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,768 Thanked 7,159 Times in 1,793 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I came across a whole different version of the song Blurred Lines music video and lol it's pretty freakin fabulous...the best part is near the end when the wall has "Robin Thicke has a big dick" written on it...lol here is the link [nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwT6DZCQi9k"]Blurred Lines (Unrated Version) - YouTube[/nomedia]

07-20-2013, 06:08 AM	#908
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,855 Thanked 14,413 Times in 4,058 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	a text message with a picture attached............ the text read just pulled over on the side of a residential exit so she could poop on the potty in the back of my car (SUV) the attachment was a picture of my 2 1/2 yr old Christmas Elf sitting on the potty in the back of the SUV with the back door open. She is grinning and has sleepy eyes, and dangling blonde curls as she poses on the big girl potty halfway to the beach. Me..OMG she is gonna hate yall in 14 yrs Tina....Oh we're gonna save this one for the yearbook! __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

07-20-2013, 07:51 PM	#909
cinnamongrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: cleverly disguised as a responsible adult* Preferred Pronoun?: wild woman Relationship Status: No, thank you. Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Home in NC..gonna dig in like a tick this time… Posts: 7,661 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 15,231 Thanked 27,598 Times in 6,955 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	We were watching this ridiculous commercial for a hair curling product.... and I mockingly told Ted, if they are buy one get one free....I'm totally getting one! No sooner were the words out of my mouth...then the big BUT WAIT!! came over the screen...and low and behold...yep....buy 1 get 1 free.... You have to see it to believe it...seriously.... https://www.aircurler.com/ __________________

07-20-2013, 10:37 PM	#910
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,806 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,624 Thanked 12,194 Times in 3,779 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	a day filled with laughter, goofy friends, meeting two of Blade's friends that I've waited 3 years to meet (and two of us simultaneously saying "AND you're not a figment of his imagination! ), silly faces made by the 'other That Woman' (said with respect) when she sipped my adult beverage ...and INSIDE jokes reflecting on memories of searching for cock rings ... a great day and how buzzed I got from one lil drink ;-) ;-) __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

07-26-2013, 05:22 PM	#911
jac Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: butch stone Preferred Pronoun?: masculine ones work best... Relationship Status: ♥ engaged to spritz ♥ Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: bangor, maine Posts: 3,344 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,720 Thanked 16,492 Times in 2,972 Posts Rep Power: 0	So it's late afternoon and we're going through shift change. New shift comes on and the kids are loud and rambunctious. An older staff gets up and is heading to the kitchen to begin dinner... and in her attempt to be a smartass to the rest of us that are still amongst the rowdy teens says, "I'm going to the kitchen for my private time!" What she really meant to say was quiet time!! Now we're throwing out the retorts of - Do you need us to leave? Will you be needing the whisk or other handy utensils? Ahahahahaaaa she won't be living that down for awhile... if I can help it!! Last edited by jac; 07-26-2013 at 05:25 PM.

07-31-2013, 03:21 PM	#912
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,855 Thanked 14,413 Times in 4,058 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	I was reading a post by Uniqueswtfemme and she mentioned Kris Kringle. It reminded me of a time years ago a group of friends were playing Trivial Pursuit. The question went to Patty, Who is Kris Kringle? She thought and thought and finally she came up with her answer. Remember this was back in my early 20's, we were at the lake and were all drinking....She wrinkles up her nose twist up her mouth and says.....is he the guy on the French fry commercial or the bag or something like that. OMG!!! A room full of drunks erupted into hysterical laughter. We laughed so hard at her seriousness and incorrect answer, that none of us could tell her who Kris Kringle was. If any of you ole timers remember, there really was a commercial with an animated French fry person, I don't know that he had a name but it certainly wasn't Kris Kringle. He was sort of like the Planters Peanut animation. Thanks for the memory and the laugh Uniqueswtfemme! __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

07-31-2013, 03:30 PM	#913
RockOn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: sitting over there ----->>>>> :) Preferred Pronoun?: .... Relationship Status: .... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: .... Posts: 3,522 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,081 Thanked 10,304 Times in 2,610 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Had to attend a mandatory Server Directives teleconference meeting at 3:00 today. I am here at the annex and we were hooked up with the main building. A fav Assistant Bureau Manager facilitated our meeting. She is an AfroAmerican woman with quick wit. I love her dearly! Our Bureau Chief facilitated over at the main building. At one point, we could not hear him ... he finally realized it and started in with the "Can you hear me now?" When we could hear him again, this way too cool, cocky woman said, "Unfortunately." She always gets great digs at this jackass. She is retiring after 36 years next month. I miss her already.

08-01-2013, 11:24 AM	#914
cinnamongrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: cleverly disguised as a responsible adult* Preferred Pronoun?: wild woman Relationship Status: No, thank you. Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Home in NC..gonna dig in like a tick this time… Posts: 7,661 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 15,231 Thanked 27,598 Times in 6,955 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	couple things... Yesterday... I was with my evening client. Her hubby of nearly 60 years was up and down...she asked me where he was going this time...I told her he was going to the kitchen and did she want me to put a rope around him to keep track of him? She says, "No. He always comes back!" Today... My client and I were leaving the dining room after breakfast...I was telling one of my fave ladies that we would be going to rosary at 10 and would she be there? She says..."well....I think I have a hair appointment....and you KNOW hair comes first!" I bout died laughing and told her I wouldnt tell god she said that. As we left she called out, "pray for me!!" Mmhmmm yes Fran. I think I best.... This is why I love what I do! <3 __________________

08-02-2013, 06:43 PM	#915
jac Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: butch stone Preferred Pronoun?: masculine ones work best... Relationship Status: ♥ engaged to spritz ♥ Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: bangor, maine Posts: 3,344 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,720 Thanked 16,492 Times in 2,972 Posts Rep Power: 0	Staff: Yes I can speak several languages. Kid: speaks a few words in Russian Staff: Was that Russian? Kid: Well yeh. Staff: How do you know Russian? Kid: I have a little Russian in me. Me: holds fingers up to show an inch measurement How big is the little guy? I crack myself up!! And everyone else!!

08-02-2013, 10:25 PM	#916
LeftWriteFemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Jersey Posts: 16,642 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,529 Thanked 12,293 Times in 5,185 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	__________________ Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it! ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my website To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat

08-14-2013, 01:02 PM	#917
DMW Member How Do You Identify?: FTM/Male (Will 14) Relationship Status: Caught An Angel and she doesn't lie! Join Date: May 2012 Location: @ Posts: 784 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,256 Thanked 1,858 Times in 614 Posts Rep Power: 21474850

08-14-2013, 01:10 PM	#918
LeftWriteFemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Jersey Posts: 16,642 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,529 Thanked 12,293 Times in 5,185 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	__________________ Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it! ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my website To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat

08-15-2013, 02:37 PM	#919
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,855 Thanked 14,413 Times in 4,058 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	After we ate supper I walked outside with my parents. I told them good bye and started to go back inside. Dad turned and said where are you going I said to the bathroom. Mom said be careful. HUH? Really? be careful in the bathroom? What am I gonna do fall in? Ummm not hardly. __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

08-21-2013, 02:27 PM	#920
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,855 Thanked 14,413 Times in 4,058 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	As I road past the plastic recycle bin at work I tossed my empty bottle toward the 4 foot square bin, and missed it. I thought huh WTF? Then a memory hit me, years ago when I was young and stupid. I was a pro at hitting signs and mailboxes with empty beer bottles and now I can't hit a 4x4 box. LOL I could hit a target from the drivers side throwing over the top of the car. Damn I'm getting rusty in my old age. HUH? Old age, damn! __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.