Singles

[Sunny]

Originally Posted by ~KnightsBlade~

My list is extremely short this year. Since I am busy 7 days a week with either school or work I would like two things...a day where I did not have to do either (giving that to myself actually) and for my Christmas wish of nor spending three Christmas in a row alone...will spend 2014 working on that one...

How about you Sunny what do you want this year??

I wish for someone to spend time with. My friends all are couples. It is hard to meet a good person. All the single woman I have chated with are all taken now. So if you want to meet someone talk to me. I will bring you good luck. LOL Thanks for asking.

[sis]

Originally Posted by Sunny

I wish for someone to spend time with. My friends all are couples. It is hard to meet a good person. All the single woman I have chated with are all taken now. So if you want to meet someone talk to me. I will bring you good luck. LOL Thanks for asking.

I so totally understand the desire to have someone to spend time with. I enjoy crocheting and lets just say that I've make more baby/lap blankets that I thought possible to fill in my alone and quiet time! Having said that, quiet time was needed in my life; the personal insights I received as I hooked revolved around loving my Self more, taking care of me, making some goals, and learning to be content wherever I am in the world. Sometimes, I think we need to be single so we have time for ourselves ..... but, it sure would be nice to have someone there for when we don't need as much of the quiet times (maybe that's an indicator of being ready for a relationship). Thoughts??

Deb

[fatallyblonde]

Just gonna butt in as another single

I agree that sometimes we are single because we have to be... because we need to spend time alone learning more about ourselves, giving ourselves time to mature or heal or get other things done... of course this doesn't make it any less lonely!
I do believe that when you are ready... things happen... so I try not to look too hard or get too wound up thinking about it. I've spent a looong time not putting myself out there as well so I know that lowers my chances considerably plus I really really have not been ready, not after the last disaster... but it can be very hard to wait... even knowing that. it's hard to be lonely!
tbh though I just want THE ONE. I don't even know if such a thing exists. My last two rships... I knew were not THE one... and inbetween had two affairs with travellers that were fun but they both had to come back to their countries so it wasn't going to last... I wanna settle down!! Like everyone else, I just miss being with someone, someone that I really trust and am totally smitten with... and I want someone I can look toward the future with!

[TheLoneStranger]

Singles...Good morning and have a wonderful Saturday!

[fatallyblonde]

my saturday is just winding down here in australia... ready to head to bed with a book... I hope you all have a beautiful day!

[Paradox]

Hello Fellow Singles..

Whatever your goals are make one happen this year.

I have passed yet another Christmas/Holiday season alone. And although there are the advantages of being single it ultimately is a lonely place to be. Worse if, like me, you become used to it. Harder if there really aren't many physically spaces to go out and meet other single women that is not a club or bar.

But we must try ... and perhaps try harder. One of my goals for the year - stop becoming comfortable with being single and find those rare opportunities that offer the best chances of meeting other single queer women you may be interested in and vice versa. Maybe infrequent but you never know.

So my last post for the day(night) before I head to bed I'll end with...

MAKE 2014 YOUR YEAR!! -

[fatallyblonde]

Originally Posted by Paradox

But we must try ... and perhaps try harder. One of my goals for the year - stop becoming comfortable with being single and find those rare opportunities that offer the best chances of meeting other single queer women you may be interested in and vice versa. Maybe infrequent but you never know.

yes this exactly! spot on! I have gotten into such a comfort zone with being single and just staying in my little femme cave so this year I am trying just to get out there a lot more... even just to reconnect with local queer community, which I have also been staying away from the last year! but I realised just sitting around dreaming accomplishes nothing so I'm trying to get back out there!

[imperfect_cupcake]

hmn. I actually really enjoy being single. It's kind of a relief tbh. I'm not lonely. I have friends that are close like cousins. I have an incredible flatmate and close friend and five my mates are within walking distance (>30min) of my flat and two more within a 15 min bus ride. Plus I am an urban girl and wouldnt give it up for the world, I do have lots of things I could be doing - if school didnt take up 80% of my time.

What I *do* want is sex. And friendship. But no commitments or obligations. I dont want to date. I want to be friends and I want to have sex. And someone who can sleep with me and afterwards hang out in bed and chat and laugh and build a friendship from that, while having complete independance of action and decision... like friends give each other, is it. Just keep the romantic stuff for now. Show me what a good time we can have in bed, show me I can tell you anything and you me, make me laugh and let me see that someone is

1) emotionally stable
2) laid back
3) good sexual chemistry
4) can argue with me without awkwardness and laugh and joke
5) understand playful sarcasm
6) can build a true friendship with me and care about me and how I am, more than petty possesiveness
7) can laugh at themselves
8) obviously needs to be confident enough to be able to have sex and slowly build a friendship - so knows how to keep emotional boundries, be practical and helpful rather than a die hard traditional romantic. I don't trust people at the mercy of their emotions. Who fall in love easily and wear their hearts on their sleeves. Those have been the ones who fall in love with *other* people really easily once the honeymoon phase wears off.

When I take my time having sex and getting to know someone as a friend and seeing if I can trust them and how even keeled they are, THEN I will make dedicated life long commitment to someone. Be it monogamy or nonmonogamy, I am happy in both.

But I'm happy single so not concerned about how long this will take.

I know most people dont wanna hear this. what they want is a girl that will die at their feet of love and have them be their everything and want to be their princess of the stars.... tell me about my eyes.

But that's not me. I want to have something far more quiet, deep, long built, and long action. Hot smouldery coals you can stoke and add more to every moring and it doesnt go out, even though on the surface it looks quiet and utilitarian. Not fireworks. I've had AMPLE fireworks to last me the rest of my life. thanks. pass. I've had love at first sight. thanks. lovely. tick that box. I've been in small "L" love quite a few times and three times in Big L Love, and now I'd rather slowly build in love, rather than fall in it.

Be my friend. fuck me. make me laugh. give me time and space to learn to trust who you are. Let me be independent when I am away from you. Dont try and be the boss all the time - you only get to be the boss of me in the bedroom lol

[Heavenleahangel]

Good Sunday morning my single peeps and Happy New Year, too! I haven't been on in a while as life has been keeping me busy. (Life being my 6.5 year old little boy, lol). I hope everyone's new year has started off fantastic and Cupid's arrow finds y'alls backsides by Valentine's Day!

[ProfPacker]

Feel the same way as honeybarbara

[fatallyblonde]

tbh, I don't see how what honeybarbara wants is necessarily a 'different' thing to what other singles want?

I can say sincerely I want what hb wants... just in a relationship.


also I think rships can start off fireworks... and become smouldering coals

[Leigh]

just came to say hi to everyone

[Gráinne]

At this stage of my life (and I believe HB is somewhere within the same decade), both of us have been through the "fireworks" more times than I care to admit. The problem with such intense attraction is, that while fun, it can lead to premature commitments and zoom! a half-baked relationship.

I wonder if it's a stage of life thing. At this point, I'm loathe to marry again or give up my physical and emotional independence. I can see the seeds of a life I love, and don't want to get sidetracked, no matter how tempting sometimes. The biggest relationship mistakes I've made are when forging independence and identity grew too tough and I used a "relationship" as distraction from my own work. It took more than once to teach me that lesson, and perhaps I'm too cautious to even give dating a try. This is very new.

Awhile ago, I wrote in a thread that one-night stands or sex without strings was usually not a good idea. I stand by my reasons in that thread, But! with friends you already know and trust, and when you (general "you") are confident that both of you are on the same page-like HB's post page-go for it. It's supposed to be fun, if done safely. I think we connect physical eroticism with romance and love, and they're three different things and can be met with different people in different ways.

Sometimes it feels like a kind of heresy to admit that deep down, we might simply want headboard-knocking sex without the romantic stuff, commiting to, or living with someone. I have made the mistake of going for what I thought I was supposed to want (and this was after I came out), rather than what I knew deep down I wanted.

Maybe it's also dividing people into "friends", whom you would never sleep with, and "partners". Sure, there are some friends you would never go there with, but other than that, I think the lines are blurry.

All of this to say I enjoy that form of singleness (if the sex existed), and don't see coupling off in my near future.

[Electrocell]

Just wanted to say may 2014 be the year all singles find the one that truly makes them happy.

[C0LLETTE]

I am 68 years old. I had sex with about 500 women before I was 35. It was the golden age of unsafe sex and boundless free love. In the succeeding 33 years Ive had 3 rather long relatively happy marriages (till they weren't so happy).

And now? I'd like someone to go to the movies with on a snowy Sunday afternoon.

[C0LLETTE]

Dear Paradox,
I hope you don't mind my referencing your post on this Singles thread but I thought I'd tell you that I , too, spent Christmas alone in Toronto... kinda.

I live in Ottawa. My daughter and her Aussie husband have come to visit from Sydney for the holidays. Because they have so many friends to see in a short time they decided that the 3 of us should spend Christmas in Toronto, thus spending time with me and hanging out with Toronto friends...a twofer.

We stayed with friends of mine, a very nice lesbian couple who have been together for 20 years now. Then we went to visit their friends, a very nice young straight couple who are expecting their first baby. Christmas Eve we went see a movie with another couple, very nice kids who plan to marry in the Spring. After the movie we went out for Chinese food with 6 of their friends ( 3 very nice couples).

We are back in Ottawa now. They are out visiting friends who just had a baby ( a very nice couple) and I am sitting here writing this letter in the Singles thread.

[TheLoneStranger]

Good Morning, Singles!

Have a beautiful day.

[nellsbells]

Howdy singles. Doesn't look like I'm going to be half shackled much longer.

[Leigh]

I had a shitty 2013 but I'm ready for this to be the year that I find love with someone special

[Licious]

Happy 2014 Singles,

Well I am ready for a better year! Health issues were persistent and that's really limiting at times.

I am not in a hurry about romance, I never am. I have been in a few shorter good relationships and a few longer ones not so good, and I think it's worth waiting for a good one. Been single a long time, sorting things out since the last one.

At least I am not on the rebound and when I am ready my new sweetheart will have my full attention.

I am so rusty, when a date rolls around hope I remember how to behave, Ha ha. Been a few years.

Meanwhile, I can always practice flirting, yes?

Also, I enjoy making new friends. Friends are good.

Have a great 2014, Singles!