The MirriFemme-Webutchster New BFP Dictionary

[Arwen]

Marathon Yap-A-Thon (Mair ah thohn yap ah thohn) n. From the Martian to engage in long intercourse

1) The act of engaging in an unending chat with a good friend. Most often used to describe conversations between two individuals of the femme persuasion. Characterized by phrases such as "Did you hear?" and "Oh my god! Then he said". Seen as a bonding moment by most individuals of the femme persuasion and a moment to be avoided by most individuals of the butch persuasion

Adversely, the act of engaging in an undending spate of MeMeitis where one talks about themselves ad nauseum despite all clues and signs as given by their listener. Can be socially fatal.

[Arwen]

Invisi-font (in vih see fohnt) n. From the Eweian to be witty and not seen


1) This pertains to writing in white font on white background so as not to be seen. First reported in the Ewe Crewe thread but somehow co-opted by the tribe thread and often seen as a marker of random -ness. Can be used to make inDUHviduals feel like they are losing their minds when they are on email notification and see words that are not there when they respond.

Considered to be bait by some Zombu/itches who will leave spaces in their posts but use no invisi-font. This is seen as Zombie taunting and should not be attempted at home. Please leave that to the professionals and the very stupid.

When invisi-font is invoked, it is considered polite to respond with invisi-font. This is etiquette.

Often an emoticon will be used at the end of invisi-font to signal the use of invisi-font. While this seems to preclude the whole idea of writing invisibly, it does save a great deal of clicking and highlighting time which makes Mr Hair happy. Also a marker is a lot of white space followed by punctuation. I'm just saying!

After much ResearchBastard aka He Who Corrects Mistakes research, it was determined then argued that the butches started it. bit came back with the fact that the femmes started it.

EXAMPLE: The true culprits behind this invis-font idea will remain lost in the annals (that's two n's y'all) of history and time.

Corrections have been made. Floggings will occur.

[Arwen]

NUMMY (nuh mee) adj. From the Femminian to ogle


1) Someone or something who causes an individual of the butch or femme persuasion to do an internal badonkakonk or wriggly chair dance in delight. Commonly used as a synonym for melicious, delicious and in general WOWZA.

example "My would you look at that hunk o' butch there. Hy's all kinds of nummy."

[Arwen]

Tequilapostanotta (teh kee lah poh stah nah tah) n. From the Cupcakian to regret


1) The act known as drunken posting. Similar to drunken dialing, but widely considered more effective because it can be seen by many and saved for posterity. Where drunken dialing only affects the dialer and dialee (unless the dialee is with friends and uses speaker phone), drunken posting can affect people for months to come.

Individuals of the butch persuasion and the femme persuasion are known to suffer from bouts of Tequilapostanotta. Characterized by a love of one's own words and the assumption that one is the funniest thing going for that ten minutes, this condition is usually temporary.

There have been threads devoted to Tequilapostanotta.. But examples of this syndrome can be found everywhere.

There is a more virulent variety known as CrownRoyalJerkiness that is generally viewed as socially fatal.

No examples are needed at this or any time.

[Arwen]

Bootch Season (boocha see sohn) n. From the DrunkianFemmian to stalk one's prey

1) The time in a femme's life when she declares open hunting on all butches in sight and sound. Butches would be well warned to head for the hills when a femme says this.

If more than one femme states it is bootch season, then all bets are off and any butches not already tagged, bagged or tattooed are considered fair game.

Alcohol is generally involved in this time, but sometimes it is just hormones.

Femmes have been known to bait traps with cleavage, stilettos and baked goods.

Femmes who are in the throes of the bootch season fever should be considered armed and slightly amusing. Generally they are only dangerous to themselves in terms of huge amounts of social embarrassment if they have been posting ala Tequilapostanotta.

[Arwen]

MyEgoIsBiggerThanMyHairitis (meye ee goe ihs beh gar than meye hare eye tis) n. From The Kwanian to presume too much

1) This is a medical condition that is not as rare as it should be. Found in individuals of the butch persuasion as well as in individuals of the femme persuasion. Manifests often as an individual pounding on an imaginary podium and shrieking "LOOK AT ME". (Should not be confused with the Redneckian "Hey y'all, watch this.")

The sufferer normally feels that their input and contributions are not being taken with the seriousness and respect that they deserve. Usually one can alleviate the symptoms by placating them and/or lying to them about their importance.

Please note: It is considered dangerous, unhealthy, and downright stupid to tell a MyEgoIsBiggerThanMyHairitis sufferer that they are, in fact, no better than the average poster. This can result in flamage, drama llamas, fruits or worse.

[Arwen]

Threadhovering (thred huh verh eeng) N. From the ButchFemmiean, to hit refresh repeatedly

1) The state of hitting refresh or F5 or CTR-ALT-F5 to see if anyone has posted anything new. Found in individuals of the butch persuasion as well as the femme persuasion.

Characterized by a noticeable difference of color and/or texture on one's F5 key on the keyboard. Huffing and shoving back from the computer is also common.

Can be excaberated by posting plaintive comments such as "Are you 's ignoring me?" or "Did I kill the thread?" and "Where did everybody go? I've got insomnia."

Not generally fatal but can cause one to be mocked later for untoward paranoia or easily identifiable whines for attention. If done in the wrong threads, this posting style can cause chronic pain from the many feet to one's rump as regulars in the thread boot the poster on their way to the thread's door.

[Arwen]

DontMakeMeSayThisAgainitis (dohn mayk mee say thihs ahgen eye tis) n. From the Kyssmeqwickian to repeat

1) This is a medical condition of posting in a slightly fierce way. Often is a precursor to full blown flames and roaring when ignored. Can be seen in individuals of the butch persuasion as well as individuals of the femme persuasion when faced with repetitive behaviour such as whining or drama stirring. Posts from those show suffer from Sympathy Sponge often cause flare ups of DontMakeMeSayThisAgainitis.

No known cure at this time although the ignore feature, when properly applied, does seem to lessen the symptoms.

[Arwen]

AreTheyStillTalkingAboutMeitis (ahr thay steel tahl keen ah bowt meh eye tis) n. From the Basque MEMEMEMEMEMEME

1) A severe medical condition that causes the sufferer to un-ignore the ignored to see if one's name is mentioned.

Often seen in those who obsessively do searches based on their own name.

This is a severe case of MeMeitis and is absolutely socially fatal if not treated promptly.

Can be cured by the individual (of the butch persuasion or of the femme persuasion)going offline and getting involved in charity work. There seems to be a high correlation between doing something for someone else and the easing of this condition.

In other words, it isn't all about you.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Yanno ArweN

Ya gotta come up with a term for when June is looming over us in the with the <@>

[Arwen]

Femmeswattus Interruptus, n. "(Fehm swaht' tuss In terh ruhp' tus) From the Arwenian "to apply correction"

The act of an individual of the butch persuasion designed to prevent, eschew or circumvent a necessary application to his/hys/her head by the hand of an individual of the femme persuasion.

Often seen by other individuals of the butch persuasion as backpedaling or being *ahem* whipped. However, clinical tests have proven that put in the same situation, most individuals of the butch persuasion will default to this act when given the chance.

Test results were slightly skewed when leather bois were introduced.

See also Thunkus Interruptus

[Arwen]

Thunkus Interruptus, n. "(Thunk' khus tuss In terh ruhp' tus) From the Arwenian "to apply more correction"

Similar to Femmeswattus Interruptus.

Primary difference lies in the application and reaction.

Whereas sSwats are applied with the flat of the hand and are quite often not truly detrimental in terms of levels of pain, thunks on the other hand are much more painful since they are commonly applied by the forceful flicking of an acrylic nail (1/2" to 1" in length) to the jugular vein.

Avoidance tactics include:

Agreement
Chocolate
Flowers
and in severe cases, jewelry

[Arwen]

JuneIsHereOhShitHideThePoodle, n. (Joon Is Heer Oh Shit Hide Thuh Pooh Dull) From the Snowyian To Duck And Cover

This noun describes a condition characterized by overuse of the delete key, invisifont and ass-kissing. Often occurs when an individual of the butch persuasion or an individual of the femme persuasion is trying to ride the DramaLlama's Mama without a license.

This condition can flare up, over and out when )@( is hauled out. This )@( symbol can cause brave zombu/itches and other Planeteers to quiver in their well-earned Redwing boots.

This condition can be avoided by judicious amounts of self-responsibility combined with a working private email system.

From personal experience, it is not recommended to rep the originator of this condition with pretzels. She bites.

[Arwen]

FrillyDilly Femme, n (free lee dee lee fehm) From the Basque "to sparkle"

This is an individual of the feminine persuasion who is given to saying things like "fiddle dee dee" and "ooh shiny." She can often be found in groups of three or more femmes at places like Tiffany's and Cartiers and Sephora's.

Her hair is consistently longer than shoulder-length and her heels are at least 2" high. Preferred colors tend to be bright and vivid jewel tones or light and sweet pastels.

This Femme can be very dangerous if denied bows, ribbons and polish. Please do not attempt to remove shopping bags from this Femme without permission.

Has been known to use hair ribbon as garrotes and high heels as knives in the backs.

Can be wooed with comments like "Did you do something new to your hair" and "Can I buy you something sparkly?"

Information taken from "Field Guide To Femmes: What To Wear"

[Arwen]

DaddyJune, n (dahd dee jewn) Latin PapaFemmicus

This is an individual of the highest renown. A DaddyJune is a clever, articulate, attractive individual of the femme persuasion who inspires other individuals of the femme and of the butch persuasion to want her so much that they insist on referring to her as Daddy. Daddy, of course, is a moniker usually applied to certain types of individuals of the butch and of the femme persuasion.

To be a DaddyJune, you must be able to wear pants while sporting a French pedicure while reading the latest feminist manifesto. High intelligence is mandated for all DaddyJunes. Also a tendency to at the drop of a hat is noted in the DaddyJune species.

DaddyJunes are extremely rare and should be approached with caution.

Under no circumstances should one call a DaddyJune Daddy unless certain social inroads have been traversed. DaddyJunes are also known for their scathing sarcasm and ability to flay the unwise with one sentence.

In all of our lives, we have only met one DaddyJune and this one seemed to have an interest in rhumba panties, invisifont, and femmes with . More research is under way.

Originally defined c. 2008. Some changes made 2010

[Arwen]

Goofytime, n (goo fee tie em) Greek [Whaddayameanitsnoonicus]

This is a standard of time known to a portion of our community. It is indicative of one of the butch persuasion who sleeps in and considers morning that moment when his eyes open.

This does not matter if it is 1pm and people are waiting for a promised Goofy Breakfast.

Goofytime seems to only occur on weekends and non-work days. But it is not recommended to try to reset Goofytime by waking the individual of the butch persuasion up. This only causes something similar to a zombie sleepwalking and can be met with mild to moderate grunting and grumbling.

If you find yourself in Goofytime, the best thing is to fix yourself a bite to eat, turn on the TV and wait. Eventually the clock will reset itself to regular time.

[tuffboi29]

I would like to place an order for this dictionary.Do i need a PayPal account?

[Arwen]

Originally Posted by tuffboi29

I would like to place an order for this dictionary.Do i need a PayPal account?

There is no hard copy yet but you can send the staff money. It may or may not keep your name out of forthcoming definitions.

[Arwen]

Femmezilla, n (fehm zill ah) From the Butchese "DEARGODHERESHECOMESAGAINIS"

This is an individual always of the femme persuasion who is terminally single. She can be found in every singles thread and some couples thread.

Unlike the individual of the femme persuasion who engages in some occasional BOOOTCH HUNTING, this individual of the femme persuasion is in perpetual heat. Her main hunting grounds are the aforementioned singles threads, but she can also be found in the Welcome threads where she only welcomes new individuals of the butch persuasion.

Every post from her is somehow sexual in nature and she is put out if no one responds in kind. Often has overtly sexual pictures for her avatar and signature picture.

This individual of the femme persuasion often simpers and flirts even when it's been made clear to her that there is no interest. Femmezillas think that given enough time, any individual of the butch persuasion will fall just like Tokyo.

And do not be anywhere near her when her current fixation becomes "off the market". Like her namesake, Femmezilla shoots flame out of her mouth and lightning out of her.. ahem... tail.

Femmezillas take advantage of any situation. If in a car, they will scootch over so that they are as close to the nearest available individual of the butch persuasion. If at a houseparty, they will create situations for couch snuggling, spooning, and other intimate moments.

Femmezillas do not take hints. They do not even take 2x4's over the head. They think other individuals of the femme persuasion who tell them to "chill out" or "give it(him) a rest" are just after the butch they want. Keep in mind that the individual of the butch persuasion this femme monster wants is the nearest single breathing fellow.

If pursued by a Femmezilla, the best choices are to latch on to a nearby individual of the femme persuasion. Tell her the scenario and then pretend to, as they say in Harry Potter, snog that individual of the femme persuasion.

Do note that this can place the camoflage femme in extreme danger. Try to choose an individual of the femme persuasion who has no problems educating other femmes of what's appropriate and not appropriate.

In conclusion, do try to stay off the radar of the Femmezillas. They can and do travel in packs but will readily back stab and backbite any and all other individuals of the femme persuasion.

[Arwen]

Butchasaurus Rex, n (bootch ah sore ahs recks) From the Femmenese "SOMEONENEEDSACLUEBYFOURITICUS"

This is an individual always of the butch persuasion who is terminally single. He can be found in every singles thread and some couples thread. This individual of the butch persuasion will hand out hugs and kisses and flowers to every single individual of the femme persuasion who so much as smiles at him.

Testosterone flares and posturing are evident when around other individuals of the butch persuasion. This is exhibited in defending individuals of the femme persuasion from "uncouth" or "boorish" remarks.

Please note that the individual of the femme persuasion isn't the one making this call. This is always at the Butchasaurus Rex's opinion.

This individual of the butch persuasion often uses chivalry and gallantry as shields to hide behind. When told point blank that his attentions are unwanted, he will say things like "Aw shucks, I'm nice to all the femmes. It's just who I am" or "Well if you only want a bad boy I guess I'll have to back down."

He will then badmouth the individual of the femme persuasion and make it seem as if she were pursuing him and he had to tell her to back off. As with the Femmezilla, do not be anywhere near him when his current fixation becomes "off the market". Much roaring and screaming and waving of tiny arms will occur.

The Butchasaurus Rex is a strange creature. He may only come on strong in PM's or IM's and seem casual and distant in threads. He will take advantage of situations to get the individual of the femme persuasioh by herself however and should not be trusted. Desperation is a sure-fire sign that you may be under the gaze of a Butchasaurus Rex.

In conclusion, do try to stay off the radar of the Butchasaurus Rex. They can be as vindictive as their Femmezilla counterparts and will tell tales out of school to other individuals of the butch persuasion.

Unlike the Femmezilla, these monsters of the butch persuasion are not prone to traveling in packs.