Is Marriage for you? - Page 6

Rockinonahigh · 10-01-2012, 02:38 PM

I once said never again would I ever take the trip down the isle,I did it twice both were for all the wrong reasons at diffrent times of my life.The first to young and wanting to get away from home..didnt happen then divorce and two kids later turned me upside down like I never thought I would be dealing with.The second he was a friend from my past who my kids loved like a dad..he loved them as well so it became a conveniance thing evn tho he knew I didnt do bio guys ever again.As with things it came to an end and we are still friends tho with a lot of distance.
At this point in my life i'm free,that sounds great but it dose get to be a lonly road to walk.If I ever do tale the plunge again I will spend time makeing shure its what we both want and what we both can handle the ebb and flow of the life.I'm older,I hope wiser.The future,well we will see.

imperfect_cupcake · 10-01-2012, 04:25 PM

marriage, for me, was aping no hettie. The rules of our marriage was between me and my wife. two wives.

Our marriage aped heterosexuals about as much as our sex life does. we have sex at night in a bed most of the time, just like hetties. We eat three meals a day, just like hetties. we go to work, go to the park, roller skate, ride a bike, have kids, have cats, travel, stay in B&B's ( and want the same rights about staying in a B&B in the same bed as a hettie) but all of these things aren't "aping" hetties. So why would the choice to get married and be self sovreign over your own relationship be aping a hettie any more than all the other things we do in a day/lifetime that's the same at hetties?

I didn't own my wife. she didn't own me. Just like the original meaning of the term "queer" wasn't very nice but it's been reclaimed. I reclaimed marriage for myself and my wife. Our rules. Our love. Our decisions. I get really pissed off about people saying my marraige aped some hetties marriage. How the hell would they know?

I also get pissed off with people saying my partners using a strap on apes heterosexual sex too.

RockOn · 10-01-2012, 04:59 PM

If my partner picker wasn't broken, I would say "yes." But since that is not the case, my answer is "no".

WolfyOne · 10-01-2012, 05:07 PM

I didn't answer your poll because the question is different from the poll you actually have up.
You seem to want a status rather than a yes or no to is it for me.

As for marriage being for me, I never say never.
I guess it just depends on the one that I give my heart to the next. time

Beloved · 10-02-2012, 05:17 AM

I'm divorced.

I would get married again one day if I felt it was the right person, place and circumstance. If it doesn't happen I am ok with that, too. It's not a goal, but if it happens, it happens. And I plan on making a MUCH better decision next time than I did the first! I didn't get married for the right reasons the first time.

MsTinkerbelly · 10-02-2012, 07:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WolfyOne

I didn't answer your poll because the question is different from the poll you actually have up.
You seem to want a status rather than a yes or no to is it for me.

As for marriage being for me, I never say never.
I guess it just depends on the one that I give my heart to the next. time

Things morph and change (like marriage or not marriage), and I was really hoping for some discussion...your answer is perfect!

Rope · 10-02-2012, 01:55 PM

I believe in open marriage. It has worked for me for years. In my current situation, I have been in an open marriage for 10 years (maybe longer, she's the one that keeps track).

Do I believe we, LGBT people deserve the right to get married? Absolutely. However, is this our only rallying cry in the LGBT community, because it kind of seems like it is.

Housing discrimination, job discrimination, bullying of LGBT kids or perceived LGBT kids, hate crimes---seem to me MUCH bigger issues in which to rally our community around.

Rope--

MsTinkerbelly · 10-02-2012, 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rope

I believe in open marriage. It has worked for me for years. In my current situation, I have been in an open marriage for 10 years (maybe longer, she's the one that keeps track).

Do I believe we, LGBT people deserve the right to get married? Absolutely. However, is this our only rallying cry in the LGBT community, because it kind of seems like it is.

Housing discrimination, job discrimination, bullying of LGBT kids or perceived LGBT kids, hate crimes---seem to me MUCH bigger issues in which to rally our community around.

Rope--

I completely agree that there are much more important issues for our community...however this one seems to wake up everyone and suceed in bringing visability to our struggles.

Equality is important, human dignity is imperative, but what other issue has brought our struggles to this point? We have to fight the battles as they come (in my opinion), and after marriage we go for something else...because we are seen as "equal" in one way, it will be harder to justify continued inequality in housing, jobs, etc....

TenderDaddy · 04-10-2013, 01:59 PM

If I met the right girl, I would absoulutly ask her to marry me. I love the idea of it. Are there other issues affecting our community, yes there are. But marriage is an issue of the heart and of love and for me a very important issue. I want to be able to marry the person I love just like any other person on the planet. We are all human, gay, straight and everyone in between. If I want to marry my fellow human no matter what the gender or orientation, I should be able to do it without judgement. So yes marriage is for me. And wherever you are girl of my dreams....look out cause I'm coming for ya and I'm gonna ask you to marry me

Angeltoes · 04-10-2013, 02:03 PM

No, but being in love and monogamous is. I just don't like contracts with the government.

lusciouskiwi · 04-17-2013, 11:00 AM

Seeing as we now have equal marriage in Aotearoa/New Zealand, I'm a hell yeah! I'm never been married, but want to some day.

NorCalStud · 04-17-2013, 11:12 AM

I am unconventional about marriage besides the obvious. Marriage is a heart place. I am monogomous about that set of feelings. I have the one place there for her. I love living alone. I dont mind not being in the same town. I would like two houses tho. I dont have to have our lives intertwine. Im not sure I am capable of intertwining. Marriage means you are my priority along with your children and my family. Marriage means sharing.

Marriage is a feeling that doesnt go away. It is something I feel I cannot change and that I cannot control. I have tried. It is like wifefi. It is always there except when service gets interrupted.

wahya · 04-17-2013, 12:15 PM

Been married twice for 11 yrs each time.. I hear third times a charm! So Yes. I do & would again.

Sweetfeme · 05-18-2013, 09:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TenderDaddy

If I met the right girl, I would absoulutly ask her to marry me. I love the idea of it. Are there other issues affecting our community, yes there are. But marriage is an issue of the heart and of love and for me a very important issue. I want to be able to marry the person I love just like any other person on the planet. We are all human, gay, straight and everyone in between. If I want to marry my fellow human no matter what the gender or orientation, I should be able to do it without judgement. So yes marriage is for me. And wherever you are girl of my dreams....look out cause I'm coming for ya and I'm gonna ask you to marry me

Very adorable !!

MysticOceansFL · 05-22-2013, 10:20 PM

I was married for six years and been single longer than that. But yes marriage is for me I'm just selective of who I marry.

kittygrrl · 05-24-2013, 06:12 PM

is just a word some people take seriously and others just pretend to take seriously. If I need a piece of paper to convince me, where I belong who my heart belongs to or I need to feel safe I need therapy not a license.

Velvetkitten · 05-24-2013, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kittygrrl

is just a word some people take seriously and others just pretend to take seriously. If I need a piece of paper to convince me, where I belong who my heart belongs to or I need to feel safe I need therapy not a license.

With all do respect IMHO it is more then just a piece of paper. It could mean the difference between someone having admittance to their partner in a hospital or being allowed to make decisions for said partner. Then there's tax breaks and I could go on.
As for the question. I've been married twice.The first time I was way to young and not for the right reasons as we were pressured by family.The second one was to my partner of 11 years we are divorced but on good terms. So would I marry again, absolutely I love the commitment and love that surrounds it.

kittygrrl · 05-24-2013, 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Velvetkitten

With all do respect IMHO it is more then just a piece of paper. It could mean the difference between someone having admittance to their partner in a hospital or being allowed to make decisions for said partner. Then there's tax breaks and I could go on.
As for the question. I've been married twice.The first time I was way to young and not for the right reasons as we were pressured by family.The second one was to my partner of 11 years we are divorced but on good terms. So would I marry again, absolutely I love the commitment and love that surrounds it.

I see, well it depends how you look at it. A power of attorney is effective, actually more powerful than a license. And why do I need a license to show love and commitment? It's a personal choice.

Tuff Stuff · 09-12-2015, 10:11 PM

I Never was,so i'm somewhat curious about being married..
but like..curiousity killed the cat.

JDeere · 09-13-2015, 10:44 PM

I have never been married so IDK.

Now that it is legal in the US, I still don't know if I want to be married

My choice of partners hasn't been good or the relationships don't last long.

I really do not want to deal with all that entails a failed marriage either.

View Poll Results: What is your ststus?
I am unmarried in my State or Country	103	58.52%
I am married in my State or Country	27	15.34%
I have had an alternate joining which is not legally marriage	18	10.23%
I wouldn't get married if they paid me!	28	15.91%
Voters: 176. You may not vote on this poll

10-01-2012, 05:07 PM	#104
WolfyOne Magically Delicious How Do You Identify?: Gentle Butch Relationship Status: Single and content Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Minnesota Posts: 6,558 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 22,052 Thanked 15,397 Times in 4,140 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I didn't answer your poll because the question is different from the poll you actually have up. You seem to want a status rather than a yes or no to is it for me. As for marriage being for me, I never say never. I guess it just depends on the one that I give my heart to the next. time __________________ Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage --- Lao Tzo

10-02-2012, 01:55 PM	#107
Rope Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: Hy Relationship Status: polyamorous Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: San Francisco Posts: 304 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 79 Thanked 1,277 Times in 212 Posts Rep Power: 8577864	I believe in open marriage. It has worked for me for years. In my current situation, I have been in an open marriage for 10 years (maybe longer, she's the one that keeps track). Do I believe we, LGBT people deserve the right to get married? Absolutely. However, is this our only rallying cry in the LGBT community, because it kind of seems like it is. Housing discrimination, job discrimination, bullying of LGBT kids or perceived LGBT kids, hate crimes---seem to me MUCH bigger issues in which to rally our community around. Rope-- __________________ www.ButchFemmeSocials.com

04-10-2013, 01:59 PM	#109
TenderDaddy Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: I dont care what you call me...as long as you call me ;) Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: In your heart Posts: 46 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 92 Thanked 196 Times in 43 Posts Rep Power: 4091133	If I met the right girl, I would absoulutly ask her to marry me. I love the idea of it. Are there other issues affecting our community, yes there are. But marriage is an issue of the heart and of love and for me a very important issue. I want to be able to marry the person I love just like any other person on the planet. We are all human, gay, straight and everyone in between. If I want to marry my fellow human no matter what the gender or orientation, I should be able to do it without judgement. So yes marriage is for me. And wherever you are girl of my dreams....look out cause I'm coming for ya and I'm gonna ask you to marry me __________________ In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away......

04-10-2013, 02:03 PM	#110
Angeltoes Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Nunya Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Bernlandia Posts: 1,740 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,286 Thanked 5,526 Times in 1,386 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	No, but being in love and monogamous is. I just don't like contracts with the government. __________________ Now say you're sorry for ushering in the fourth fucking reich- anonymous

10-01-2012, 02:38 PM	#101
Rockinonahigh Senior Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: makes no diffrence,I know who I am. Relationship Status: single,maybe looking if the right person comes along. Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: shreveport,Louisiana Posts: 4,907 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,682 Thanked 14,933 Times in 3,938 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I once said never again would I ever take the trip down the isle,I did it twice both were for all the wrong reasons at diffrent times of my life.The first to young and wanting to get away from home..didnt happen then divorce and two kids later turned me upside down like I never thought I would be dealing with.The second he was a friend from my past who my kids loved like a dad..he loved them as well so it became a conveniance thing evn tho he knew I didnt do bio guys ever again.As with things it came to an end and we are still friends tho with a lot of distance. At this point in my life i'm free,that sounds great but it dose get to be a lonly road to walk.If I ever do tale the plunge again I will spend time makeing shure its what we both want and what we both can handle the ebb and flow of the life.I'm older,I hope wiser.The future,well we will see.

10-01-2012, 04:25 PM	#102
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,711 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	marriage, for me, was aping no hettie. The rules of our marriage was between me and my wife. two wives. Our marriage aped heterosexuals about as much as our sex life does. we have sex at night in a bed most of the time, just like hetties. We eat three meals a day, just like hetties. we go to work, go to the park, roller skate, ride a bike, have kids, have cats, travel, stay in B&B's ( and want the same rights about staying in a B&B in the same bed as a hettie) but all of these things aren't "aping" hetties. So why would the choice to get married and be self sovreign over your own relationship be aping a hettie any more than all the other things we do in a day/lifetime that's the same at hetties? I didn't own my wife. she didn't own me. Just like the original meaning of the term "queer" wasn't very nice but it's been reclaimed. I reclaimed marriage for myself and my wife. Our rules. Our love. Our decisions. I get really pissed off about people saying my marraige aped some hetties marriage. How the hell would they know? I also get pissed off with people saying my partners using a strap on apes heterosexual sex too.

10-01-2012, 04:59 PM	#103
RockOn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: sitting over there ----->>>>> :) Preferred Pronoun?: .... Relationship Status: .... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: .... Posts: 3,522 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,081 Thanked 10,304 Times in 2,610 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	If my partner picker wasn't broken, I would say "yes." But since that is not the case, my answer is "no".

10-02-2012, 05:17 AM	#105
Beloved Member How Do You Identify?: alive Preferred Pronoun?: um Relationship Status: married Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: on the stars Posts: 460 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,415 Thanked 1,653 Times in 298 Posts Rep Power: 19348703	I'm divorced. I would get married again one day if I felt it was the right person, place and circumstance. If it doesn't happen I am ok with that, too. It's not a goal, but if it happens, it happens. And I plan on making a MUCH better decision next time than I did the first! I didn't get married for the right reasons the first time.

04-17-2013, 11:00 AM	#111
lusciouskiwi Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme lesbian feminist Preferred Pronoun?: Anything except for "aunty" Relationship Status: Happy with my butch. Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Aotearoa New Zealand Posts: 2,681 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 25,494 Thanked 9,096 Times in 1,899 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Seeing as we now have equal marriage in Aotearoa/New Zealand, I'm a hell yeah! I'm never been married, but want to some day. __________________ happiness is a form of courage. George Holbrook Jackson Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth. Katherine Mansfield Motivate yourself or be miserable. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice. Wayne Dyer

04-17-2013, 11:12 AM	#112
NorCalStud Member How Do You Identify?: gaea's Daddy and Fiance Preferred Pronoun?: Ours Relationship Status: Engaged with gaea:-) Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Island Mountain Posts: 440 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,630 Thanked 1,465 Times in 359 Posts Rep Power: 18918588	to be or not to be married I am unconventional about marriage besides the obvious. Marriage is a heart place. I am monogomous about that set of feelings. I have the one place there for her. I love living alone. I dont mind not being in the same town. I would like two houses tho. I dont have to have our lives intertwine. Im not sure I am capable of intertwining. Marriage means you are my priority along with your children and my family. Marriage means sharing. Marriage is a feeling that doesnt go away. It is something I feel I cannot change and that I cannot control. I have tried. It is like wifefi. It is always there except when service gets interrupted. __________________ "Love the questions" ...Rainier Marie Rilke...Letters to a young poet Che

04-17-2013, 12:15 PM	#113
wahya Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: Me Relationship Status: im good Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 296 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 506 Thanked 857 Times in 240 Posts Rep Power: 0	Been married twice for 11 yrs each time.. I hear third times a charm! So Yes. I do & would again.

05-22-2013, 10:20 PM	#115
MysticOceansFL Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch, Preferred Pronoun?: People call me by my nic name. Relationship Status: Not Single, Not Desperate. Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Florida Posts: 3,833 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,645 Thanked 4,033 Times in 1,720 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	I was married for six years and been single longer than that. But yes marriage is for me I'm just selective of who I marry. __________________ Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation. It is said, " Some lives are linked across time..... Connected by an ancient calling that echoes through the ages "......

05-24-2013, 06:12 PM	#116
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: witchy Relationship Status: just for fun Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: near the wild mushrooms Posts: 9,358 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,574 Thanked 21,948 Times in 7,074 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	Marriage is just a word some people take seriously and others just pretend to take seriously. If I need a piece of paper to convince me, where I belong who my heart belongs to or I need to feel safe I need therapy not a license. __________________ "MAKE AMERICA THINK AGAIN"

09-12-2015, 10:11 PM	#119
Tuff Stuff Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Woman Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Married Join Date: May 2013 Location: California Posts: 695 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 904 Thanked 1,315 Times in 505 Posts Rep Power: 9408454	I Never was,so i'm somewhat curious about being married.. but like..curiousity killed the cat.

09-13-2015, 10:44 PM	#120
JDeere Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He/him/his Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 17,752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,018 Thanked 28,836 Times in 9,708 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	I have never been married so IDK. Now that it is legal in the US, I still don't know if I want to be married My choice of partners hasn't been good or the relationships don't last long. I really do not want to deal with all that entails a failed marriage either. __________________ Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein