07-04-2011, 10:30 PM | #121 | |
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07-04-2011, 10:39 PM | #122 |
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07-04-2011, 11:06 PM | #123 | |
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07-05-2011, 06:20 AM | #124 |
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No matter the definitions of furry fetishes or role-play- and this does cover sexual activity in some cases. The point is that a 12 year old kid is saying he is uncomfortable with this exposure and his custodial parent is unaware of this situation. It also isn't about parents changing their behavior based upon this kid's feelings. This is about a kid feeling "forced" to be involved in a parent's fetish in terms of a public display. There doesn't need to be any sexual component at all involved.
It seems to me that both parents need to deal with this in a communicative manner with their child. They also need to educate themselves about the developmental stage he is in and also what (if any) negative effects forcing a kid to be involved in events and activities surrounding this fetish. This has no bearing on the father's continuing to act out his fetish desires- just without the kid being present. I do find it odd that in a situation where parents are sharing custody that the father here would plan activities around this part of his life while spending time with his kid. Anyone that has had this experience knows how tough it is to spend time with your kid and usually one focuses on alone time with their kids in these situations. Something is off with this picture beyond this particular insistence on this kid being coerced in this one situation. The bottom line is that his mother needs to be involved with what is going on here and these parents need to work out boundaries around this that attend to their son's feelings. Anything that could in anyway have a sexual meaning to a 12 year old or involve power dynamics that are between consenting adults could very well be felt by a 12 year old in ways adults can't imagine (or accurately remember). I would want to know exactly what it is that causes the discomfort and how he is viewing it from his pre-teen perspective. The hell with the adult perspectives- he isn't an adult. His perceptions of collars for example can be very different that adults with knowledge about the full range of sexual expression and non-explicit sexual expression that is related to adult relationship dynamics. This isn’t a cut and dried situation at all. |
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07-05-2011, 07:44 AM | #125 | |
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I don't know who you mean by 'we', but please don't include me or tell me what I think. Surely you can see that this is a more complex conversation than, This is a fetish; this is not. |
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07-05-2011, 08:14 AM | #126 |
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Okay, show me. I drew a concrete line that I think is reasonable: sexuality at the level of fetishes is not appropriate for 12yo's. I welcome any cooperative attempt to present me with an alternative to consider.
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07-05-2011, 08:25 AM | #127 |
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I don't hate the furries--I don't think they're 'ew' or gross--To me, I find it mildly amusing that someone wraps themselves in a furry fabric as any part of their identity.
I do however, think that you should keep your tail, butt plug or otherwise, and the rest of your accoutrement confined to your personal social circle. I, personally, (in an ideal world) want to be asked before I participate in your dynamic and I'd think that goes doubly for any 12 year-old. In addition, there's a huge, obvious difference between being queer and pretty average by society's standards and being a "slave" in a fur costume. *I am left curious as to why the furry only wears a tail--if she's completely committed to her fur-identity, how does such a small accessory suffice? |
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07-05-2011, 08:54 AM | #128 | |
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It is obvious that we are going to see opposing points of views regardless of the topic being discussed. It is obvious, too, that members have history. Our personal experiences (both here and outside of this community) play into how and what we post. We (mod/admin) are looking to have a place at the table for ALL where differences are celebrated rather than criticized. And, no, this isn't "Pollyanna bullsh*t". It's actually possible. And it's not just in this thread; it's discussions everywhere, even outside of the forums here at bfp.
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07-05-2011, 09:28 AM | #129 | |
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The furry tail is like flagging in the Leather world. At least that's what I was told.
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07-05-2011, 09:51 AM | #130 | |
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The bottom line, for me, is that children need to be introduced to "alternative" concepts - whether they be religious, sexual, or food choices - in a sensitive and thoughtful manner. Expecting them simply "to deal" is shitty parenting. Hell, it's shitty human being.
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07-05-2011, 09:56 AM | #131 |
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I hope that after all this sound advice Okie & Red have a sit down with the parents and advocate for the distraught child, and that Mom sets some heavy boundaries on how when it comes to her man cub NO ONE is to keep ANYTHING from her, ever again!
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07-05-2011, 05:06 PM | #132 | |
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I don't think anyone is normal! I don't subscribe to normal. I don't agree with normal! I do though think responsibility is the key question here. Red and I have different opinions about a lot of things and we respect those opinions. That is where I am upset. Nick's opinion should be respected and he is totally freaked out about being subjected to the public ridicule. Peace!
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07-05-2011, 05:14 PM | #133 | |
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Thanks for you input! I'll defer to totally disagree with you.
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07-05-2011, 05:21 PM | #134 | |
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She calls Nicks dad master in front of him and makes him wait hand and foot on Nicks dad when Nick is present with out any explanation. The only place he is not allowed to present this type of behavior is in our home. I personally do not like that imagine being burned into Nicks mind.
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07-05-2011, 05:27 PM | #135 |
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Dear Community,
My sole purpose for this post was to ask for help with our nephew. I have know further comment other than thank you for those of you who truly understood my concerns for Nick! Thank you for all of your opinions but this has turned into way more than I ever expected. It was all about a little 12 year old boy named Nick and nothing else. Peace!
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07-05-2011, 05:30 PM | #136 | |
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Oy vey
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First of all The furrie is a WOMAN not a man, i hope that was explained to all The children, can we have some sensitivity for The MTF members of our community, and have you or Red taken The time and let unknown parent know said child is distraught?
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07-05-2011, 05:34 PM | #137 | |
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07-05-2011, 05:34 PM | #138 |
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I am now curious as to the relationship between the child and his mother. Obviously the child does not feel he can discuss it with the mother or she would be well aware of what is going on in his life, which makes me question their relationship. Also red and Okie I have to ask do you hide your sexuality because it is such a red neck town*. I am just curious because so many things are bringing questions up in my mind.
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07-05-2011, 05:38 PM | #139 | |
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It sounds like all children need to educated on transgendered peoples, open communications with all parents and I hope distraught child is heard, unknowing parent told and Dad sat down for a heart to heart regarding distraught Childs feelings
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07-05-2011, 05:45 PM | #140 | |
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I truly respect everyone's thoughts and opinions but I have to say I am way overwhelmed with the many responses that have nothing to do with how we help our nephew! Peace!
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