Dykes And Lesbians To Watch Out For

[Apocalipstic]

TGIF indeed!

I have never been in here because I thought it was about the cartoon, and I have not read it in so long, I was not sure what I would say....

But since it is not just about the cartoon.....here goes....

I ID as Dyke first and have since back in 1983. One day I was walking down my hall in my college dorm and someone called me a "Fag" behind my back. I spun around and before I could even think...my mouth said "if you are going to call me names, then get your terms right, I am a Dyke, D-Y-K-E!" spun back around and marched off down the hall of my East Tennessee Southern Baptist college with a sneer on my face and my head held high!

I have never had any desire to attend a women's music festival...when I first came out I was given so much crap for being girly that the last place I wanted to be was women's land.....plus I think it might at the very least involve sharing a bathroom....eeek.

I've never really listened to Lesbian music much (meaning at all) unless whomever I was dating at the time made me.

I was thrilled in the 90's to find the B-F community, I had no idea that there were Dykes out there who like Dykes like me. Yeay!

Great thread BullDog!

[lipstixgal]

I id as a lesbian femme woman but have used the term dyke but really don't like it much. I guess it depends on the person but I would rather someone call me a lesbian!!

[BullDog]

Ha ha Apocalipstic, it's about time you found us. The thread title is a play on words with the cartoon- I do love it. And anyway the watch out part sounds so sinister- heh, heh.

Lipstixgal, I am happy to call you a lesbian!

Some people use lesbian, some dyke, some both. I am happy everyone is accepting of both in this thread. I thought it would be inclusive to use both and also helped with my thread title I do understand that dyke is used as a slur but it has also been reclaimed by some of us. Thanks for the great convo on this everyone.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by BullDog

Ha ha Apocalipstic, it's about time you found us. The thread title is a play on words with the cartoon- I do love it. And anyway the watch out part sounds so sinister- heh, heh.

Lipstixgal, I am happy to call you a lesbian!

Some people use lesbian, some dyke, some both. I am happy everyone is accepting of both in this thread. I thought it would be inclusive to use both and also helped with my thread title I do understand that dyke is used as a slur but it has also been reclaimed by some of us. Thanks for the great convo on this everyone.

I sooo want to be thought of as a sinister Dyke! I want to be given the Dyke nod and feared.

Alas, I look like a fluffy Sunday School teacher. But there is no compliment I perk up for more than Dyke

Lesbian is ok. I use it when I have to tell people I am one....as in "pass the salsa I'm a lesbian". Or on medical documents.

Gay....ehhhhh....whatev.

Queer kind of makes me happy too, but not as much as Dyke.

Maybe the more transgressive it sounds the happier it makes me? Even though somehow, I have ended up being pretty settled and behaved in my middle age.

I wish I could be a BullDyke, but in men's clothes I look like Truman Capote.

[AtLast]

The admin recently added lesbian-phobia/phobic to the TOS in the list of isms/language, etc. to be moderated on the Planet!! KEWL!! Way kewl!! Way aware!!

5. No Intolerant Behavior! - Racially offensive, Sizist, Sexist, Transphobic, Classist, Elitist, Misogynist, Homophobic, Lesbian-phobic or otherwise hateful speech is NOT acceptable here. If you make an asshattish or hateful comment, you can expect your fellow community members to want to engage with you about it. Also, making a comment that is racist, ageist, sexist, sizist, Lesbian-phobic or generally offensive and then adding "It's just my opinion" or "It's my First Amendment Right!" does NOT negate your personal accountability for what you just said.

[BarbaraRyan]

Adding my two cents as a newbie:

When I think of the word Dyke, I think "earthy" or "practical". Both awesome things.

But I have a particular love for the word Lesbian. To me there is something poetic about it. It evokes romantic images of chocolate and wine. (A little cheesy, I know).

[imperfect_cupcake]

Lesbian took me a little while to come to. I vociferously refused to ID as lesbian (though dyke was ever so slightly less offensive) when I came out. Mainly because the vast majority of lesbians I knew were very much anti... me. The *dykes* I knew were more butch-butch leather in seattle; the *lesbians* I knew were... fairly narrow minded, not very well travelled, not exposed to much, didn't like the way I looked (politically and publicialy. they didn't mind trapping me in a dark corner at a party though) and didn't understand my particular tastes, sexually.

So I refused to identify with them if they refused to accept me.

Then I met all of the kick-ass lesbians when I started to travel as a queer - ones who had done all this serious work to be recognised as a lesbian. I met lesbians from all kinds of political/sexual "wars" between groups of feminists.

And I was asked "do you recognise that they are lesbian?" Yes. "do you recognise the work they did for that?" yes. "but you are willing to sit on your ass and sulk about not being accepted by people? do you do that with the rest of your life as well?"

No. I don't. So I reclaimed lesbian, for me. I didn't start at lesbian first. I was queer for a few years while I refused to be associated with "those" lesbians.

I learned I didn't have to be. I don't have to be associated with *ANYONE* just because they have the same sexuality (even if it's expressed differently), or back ground or whatever. People are not the same wherever you go. Lesbian is *NOT* the same where ever you go. Niether is butch or femme.

I learned that the short sighted with little wordly experienced lesbians I come out to were not what all lesbians everywhere were like. And to say they were would be bigoted and short sighted of me to not recognise that humans differ vastly.

When I got to Toronto, I met tons of lesbians who didn't give a shit that a presented very feminine. I found I could be friends with many non-butch, non-femme lesbians - unlike the idiots I had previously known. when I came to London... my world exploded. I walked into my first lesbian bar (Mineries. LMAO. far from classy but I love that place every once in a rare while) and no one asked me if I was straight or bi or a poodle. No one fuckin *cared*.

I walked into the bathroom and it was thronging with girls in feminine little hip dresses, toussled hair, re-applying masses of make up and clicking about in heels.

I remember thinking "oh thank fuck."

I have met the biggest diversity of lesbians ever imaginable in london. Some unimaginable. There are fewer rules and no one gives a shit. It's allowed me to pick exactly what I want to be, how I want to be.

Now I mainly hang in gender-queer clubs with a dyke backbone to it. That's really my favourite comfort zone.

I'm a queer dyke lesbian femme. Or just barb, most of the time.

[JustBeingMe]

Originally Posted by Metropolis

I peeked in because I thought I'd find myself on a Top Ten Most Wanted list.


Metro

OH don't you know but YOU ARE and the Leader of the Pack too.....LMAO.

[BullDog]

Lesbians, Dykes & Friends- you are all on the most wanted list. Happy Holidays!

[Starbuck]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

When I go home to Alabama...

Sometimes I hear

DYKE!!! coming from some guys truck window

I *princess wave* and say

Your momma liked it!!

I couldn't help but laugh at that one! That was funny, I don't care who ya are!

[1PlayfulFemme]

How is it possible I am JUST NOW stumbling upon this thread?

I, too, loved the strip (mmhmm THE strip...as in comic...we'll not discuss the action of stripping...not yet anyway) a million and one years ago! (Which is EXACTLY how long ago I came out, btw!)

And with all that being said...I id as a femme lesbian...but, I have always loved the shock effect of the word dyke...especially coming out of my pretty little lips. I love the butches who have told me that it's far too crass of a word to come out of said lips. I love the look on their faces when I tell them that I don't accept misogyny. Regardless of what you think of my lips, the words that come out of them are entirely up to me.

I found great power in the word 'dyke' in my tiny lil sleepy southern hometown. A million years ago (just a year after I came out, remember) a very uptight woman at the mall glanced at my girlfriend and I as we passed her in the mall (we were, indeed holding hands). Her eyes were glued to us! Finally, after she passed, she muttered, "Lesbians. Disgusting." I turned (In my youthful wisdom) and said, "Dykes, thank you..and if it was so disgusting, why couldn't you take your eyes off it, Sweetheart?" And we walked away.

Truth be told, I would probaly do the same thing today

So, I will wrap myself up in the word dyke, fully happy with the id lesbian, and coming to love queer as a description for myself..cuz I find that when you are happy with yourself and you accept yourself for exactly who you are, you take the hurting power out of the words that the world hurls at you like stones...

[NJFemmie]

I'm still practicing...

dyke

dyke

dyke

*sigh*

It gets better.

[dykeumentary]

I LOVE being a dyke!

And I love "dykes to watch out for" too.

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

I've never liked the "f" word, and y'all know which one I mean... haha... the other one I like very much - FML for example But, ah, it just bothers me... a lot.

However, anything else goes. I've called myself a homo, gay, lesbian, dyke, etc. I guess it just depends on whatever comes out of my mouth at the time.

[girl_dee]

growing up the word *dyke* was meant for motorcycle riding, wallet chain, mullet sporting lesbians.. (ok yum minus the mullet)... femmes were not dykes. Dykes were dykes.


So of course being a femme and a rebel.. and all growed up now.. I love being a DYKE!!!

I have never used the word lesbian.. yup dyke fits me...

[Lillie]

I never minded being called a dyke..or a lesbo..I always knew who I was and a label need not be applied for me to know it..I id as a femme lesbian..and I love butch woman..always have always will..but I love all woman..I see their beauty whether they are butch, femme, trans or what have you..woman are b e a u t i f u l ....

but thats just me ..a big ole lesbian...and proud of it...

[JoSchmooze]

I like this thread! Nice thoughts, very thought provoking...

When I am intro'd to a straight person by another straight....I tell the new person...
"don't be scared of me, I'm just a dumpy dyke....the "token" dyke here at the club".

But when I am feeling good about myself...I just say..."watch out, hide all the women!"
ROFLMAO......

[PumaJ]

Reading the many fabulous posts in this thread caused me to remember a very sweet "statement button" given to me many, many years ago by my very Butch partner at that time. The button read: Dyke Princess, printed in purple on a pink background.

I'm going to have to look around and see if I still have that button:-)

[Sachita]

No sure who I am other then me. If I started breaking it down into little pieces it would take all day. BUT I do like butches- lesbian identified masculine butch women. Took me a bit to figure that out, among other things in my life but I finally did!

[free-to-be]

I, too, prefer lesbian over dyke. Dyke is such a harsh-sounding word and is often used harshly. Sapphic, now that's another word I like!

Happy Saturday everyone!