What Cracked You Up Today? - Page 83

Kenna · 05-11-2018, 08:21 AM

Arriving home to find my favorite old cat, Joey, sitting on the porch roof, I could swear he was smiling.

girl_dee · 05-11-2018, 08:53 AM

“it’s like a studio NY Apartment up in there "

JDeere · 05-11-2018, 05:40 PM

Seeing my big macho dad jump sky high out of his chair during a horror movie!

Blade · 05-13-2018, 06:49 AM

Briar accidently learned to jump on the couch today. When she did it the 2nd time and realized what she had done she was soooo proud of herself lol.

Kenna · 05-13-2018, 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blade

Briar accidently learned to jump on the couch today. When she did it the 2nd time and realized what she had done she was soooo proud of herself lol.

You are teaching her to be bad, and it cracks me up to hear and watch you have so much fun with it.

CherryWine · 05-14-2018, 02:23 PM

Kenna · 05-15-2018, 02:27 AM

I have very few neighbors so I took the chance that none of them were awake and within sight of my porch at 3:45am when puppy Briar had to pee. So I'm standing there in just my undies, with Briar on her extenda-leash when short little WooBear sets off the motion sensor spot light aimed at the porch.... Gave new meaning to duck-n-run.

Kenna · 05-15-2018, 04:10 PM

The store clerk handed Blade an item of clothing that had a small Star Trek symbol on it.. as Blade turned to go into the fitting room, he says in a very cheerful tone "oh great, may the Force be with me!"

that's my,knucklehead best friend. He had 2 store clerks cracking up

Wrang1er · 05-22-2018, 10:44 AM

This is my life.

ME: Getting the internet will also be good for when the kids are here. It will give them something to do when they can't play outside.

MOM: Where are we going to put it?

ME: Put what?

MOM: The internet. Will we need to get a table or cabinet to put it on? How big is it?

ME: ummmmm the internet is HUGE!

JDeere · 05-22-2018, 08:28 PM

Finding old pictures of myself from when I was a baby. As well as a teenager. OMG the huge hair, I swear I used 2 cans of hairspray for that height!

Bèsame* · 05-24-2018, 11:26 AM

Just when you think you can talk femme-speak, you find a butch that knows that language.

Kenna · 05-24-2018, 06:42 PM

Blade getting cracked up so much his face turned red and he had to wipe his eyes.

And it all started on a joke about a Free Puppy Kisses booth.

Kenna · 05-25-2018, 07:42 PM

Ordering a chicken Alfredo pizza but they forgot the Alfredo.

Blade · 05-26-2018, 12:47 PM

OMG! There was actually a lady at the grocery store today with curlers in her hair yes yellow curlers. You know the plastic kind from the 60s and 70s. I never thought in this day and age that I would be traumatized that way ever again

Blade · 06-04-2018, 08:05 PM

While I am quietly watching a softball game on TV my roomie is sitting across the room pecking on her phone. Suddenly she yells...nut not but! I said what? She said I don't want BUT I want NUT! I said umm 👌, amd we both cracked up

Kenna · 06-04-2018, 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blade

While I am quietly watching a softball game on TV my roomie is sitting across the room pecking on her phone. Suddenly she yells...nut not but! I said what? She said I don't want BUT I want NUT! I said umm 👌, amd we both cracked up

Since when do you watch a softball game quietly? If Skippy could talk, he'd back me up.

Wrang1er · 06-05-2018, 10:58 AM

I was just texting with a classmate about a paper we have to write. I meant to type that it was a bitch but my phone typed...it was a butch. Lol...my phone might have outed me. Not that it isn't obvious just by looking at me.

Kätzchen · 06-05-2018, 01:09 PM

Femmadian · 06-05-2018, 07:06 PM

Over this past weekend I had occasion to laugh at myself.

So, for quite some time now, most of the men I interact with in my life on a regular basis are either gay, related to me, and/or 20+ years older than I am and married. Single straight men of my age group don't really exist in my world (and, you know, I'm actually okay with that...

).

Anywaaaay...

So the other day some guy I met gave me his number (hey, that's not the funny part...

). We were just chatting about whatever and he suggested meeting up some time at a local hang out spot and I was all like, "yeah, sure, that'd be fun!", proceeded to exchange numbers, and he seemed pretty happy about the whole thing. It was all very friendly and innocent (or so I thought). And then I said something like "and hey, feel free to bring your lady or gentleman friend along too, if you have one. The more, the merrier." And he just kind of looked at me. And so I looked at him. And he looked at me. And then as I continued looking at him, it slowly began to dawn on me. Oh... shit. Wait, did I just get asked out by a straight guy? Ohhhhh... Whoops.

I was so oblivious to the fact that he 1) actually thought I was straight (or bi, whatever) and 2) was asking me out that I swear I just stared at him blankly for what must have seemed like an eternity, waiting for my brain to finally catch up. It hadn't even occurred to me that straight men my age still existed! It was like a scene from The Office. If you looked close enough, you probably could have seen an Error 404 message pop up in my eyeballs.

"Oh, you meant---"
"Well, yeah, but---"
"Oh, nononononono, I mean, it's okay bu---"
"Oh, no, I'm sorry. I---"
"No, no, no, I'm sorry. I didn't realize. Actually..."

And, yeah...

It was all very awkward for all parties involved. And I now have a bit more appreciation for when butches talk about being a 2x4 butch because, yeah, apparently I'm a 2x4 femme (when it comes to straight men, anyway).

And it totally made me think of that meme from the BFP Instagram page:

So, long story short, if any cis male-oriented folks are attracted to the Dudley Do-Right type, I have the number of a very nice (and confused) park ranger for you!

Femmewench · 06-12-2018, 06:13 PM

There are a couple of flies on the frame surrounding the screen on my laptop. I could not understand why my cursor wasn't moving them away from the laptop.

Twice.

smh

05-11-2018, 08:21 AM	#1641
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,806 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,624 Thanked 12,194 Times in 3,779 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Arriving home to find my favorite old cat, Joey, sitting on the porch roof, I could swear he was smiling. __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

05-11-2018, 08:53 AM	#1642
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,833 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	2 days later still cracking up.. “it’s like a studio NY Apartment up in there "

05-13-2018, 06:49 AM	#1644
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,855 Thanked 14,414 Times in 4,058 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Briar accidently learned to jump on the couch today. When she did it the 2nd time and realized what she had done she was soooo proud of herself lol. __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

05-15-2018, 02:27 AM	#1647
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,806 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,624 Thanked 12,194 Times in 3,779 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I have very few neighbors so I took the chance that none of them were awake and within sight of my porch at 3:45am when puppy Briar had to pee. So I'm standing there in just my undies, with Briar on her extenda-leash when short little WooBear sets off the motion sensor spot light aimed at the porch.... Gave new meaning to duck-n-run. __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

05-15-2018, 04:10 PM	#1648
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,806 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,624 Thanked 12,194 Times in 3,779 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Last Sunday The store clerk handed Blade an item of clothing that had a small Star Trek symbol on it.. as Blade turned to go into the fitting room, he says in a very cheerful tone "oh great, may the Force be with me!" that's my,knucklehead best friend. He had 2 store clerks cracking up __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

05-11-2018, 05:40 PM	#1643
JDeere Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He/him/his Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 17,752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,018 Thanked 28,837 Times in 9,709 Posts Rep Power: 21474865	Seeing my big macho dad jump sky high out of his chair during a horror movie!

05-14-2018, 02:23 PM	#1646
CherryWine Senior Member How Do You Identify?: lesbian femme Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: The Deep South Posts: 2,491 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,060 Thanked 10,010 Times in 2,182 Posts Rep Power: 21474847

05-22-2018, 10:44 AM	#1649
Wrang1er Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Me, myself and I Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Here Posts: 1,526 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,112 Thanked 7,043 Times in 1,354 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	This is my life. ME: Getting the internet will also be good for when the kids are here. It will give them something to do when they can't play outside. MOM: Where are we going to put it? ME: Put what? MOM: The internet. Will we need to get a table or cabinet to put it on? How big is it? ME: ummmmm the internet is HUGE!

05-22-2018, 08:28 PM	#1650
JDeere Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He/him/his Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 17,752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,018 Thanked 28,837 Times in 9,709 Posts Rep Power: 21474865	Finding old pictures of myself from when I was a baby. As well as a teenager. OMG the huge hair, I swear I used 2 cans of hairspray for that height!

05-24-2018, 11:26 AM	#1651
Bèsame* Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femm Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: loved by many Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Closer to the waves Posts: 15,382 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,118 Thanked 40,948 Times in 10,733 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	Just when you think you can talk femme-speak, you find a butch that knows that language. __________________ kisses A kiss is a whisper in your mouth. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back.

05-24-2018, 06:42 PM	#1652
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,806 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,624 Thanked 12,194 Times in 3,779 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	At dinner at pizza shop Blade getting cracked up so much his face turned red and he had to wipe his eyes. And it all started on a joke about a Free Puppy Kisses booth. __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

05-25-2018, 07:42 PM	#1653
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,806 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,624 Thanked 12,194 Times in 3,779 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Ordering a chicken Alfredo pizza but they forgot the Alfredo. __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

05-26-2018, 12:47 PM	#1654
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,855 Thanked 14,414 Times in 4,058 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	OMG! There was actually a lady at the grocery store today with curlers in her hair yes yellow curlers. You know the plastic kind from the 60s and 70s. I never thought in this day and age that I would be traumatized that way ever again __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

06-04-2018, 08:05 PM	#1655
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,855 Thanked 14,414 Times in 4,058 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	While I am quietly watching a softball game on TV my roomie is sitting across the room pecking on her phone. Suddenly she yells...nut not but! I said what? She said I don't want BUT I want NUT! I said umm 👌, amd we both cracked up __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

06-05-2018, 10:58 AM	#1657
Wrang1er Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Me, myself and I Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Here Posts: 1,526 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,112 Thanked 7,043 Times in 1,354 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	I was just texting with a classmate about a paper we have to write. I meant to type that it was a bitch but my phone typed...it was a butch. Lol...my phone might have outed me. Not that it isn't obvious just by looking at me.

06-05-2018, 01:09 PM	#1658
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, please. Relationship Status: Attached to my granddaughter and chosen family. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Northwest of Mt Hood ツ Posts: 16,071 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,888 Thanked 33,522 Times in 10,648 Posts Rep Power: 21474868

06-05-2018, 07:06 PM	#1659
Femmadian Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Join Date: Apr 2014 Location: Isla Nublar Posts: 385 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,296 Thanked 2,407 Times in 362 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	Straight men exist? Straight men exist. Over this past weekend I had occasion to laugh at myself. So, for quite some time now, most of the men I interact with in my life on a regular basis are either gay, related to me, and/or 20+ years older than I am and married. Single straight men of my age group don't really exist in my world (and, you know, I'm actually okay with that... ). Anywaaaay... So the other day some guy I met gave me his number (hey, that's not the funny part... ). We were just chatting about whatever and he suggested meeting up some time at a local hang out spot and I was all like, "yeah, sure, that'd be fun!", proceeded to exchange numbers, and he seemed pretty happy about the whole thing. It was all very friendly and innocent (or so I thought). And then I said something like "and hey, feel free to bring your lady or gentleman friend along too, if you have one. The more, the merrier." And he just kind of looked at me. And so I looked at him. And he looked at me. And then as I continued looking at him, it slowly began to dawn on me. Oh... shit. Wait, did I just get asked out by a straight guy? Ohhhhh... Whoops. I was so oblivious to the fact that he 1) actually thought I was straight (or bi, whatever) and 2) was asking me out that I swear I just stared at him blankly for what must have seemed like an eternity, waiting for my brain to finally catch up. It hadn't even occurred to me that straight men my age still existed! It was like a scene from The Office. If you looked close enough, you probably could have seen an Error 404 message pop up in my eyeballs. "Oh, you meant---" "Well, yeah, but---" "Oh, nononononono, I mean, it's okay bu---" "Oh, no, I'm sorry. I---" "No, no, no, I'm sorry. I didn't realize. Actually..." And, yeah... It was all very awkward for all parties involved. And I now have a bit more appreciation for when butches talk about being a 2x4 butch because, yeah, apparently I'm a 2x4 femme (when it comes to straight men, anyway). And it totally made me think of that meme from the BFP Instagram page: So, long story short, if any cis male-oriented folks are attracted to the Dudley Do-Right type, I have the number of a very nice (and confused) park ranger for you! __________________

06-12-2018, 06:13 PM	#1660
Femmewench Member How Do You Identify?: Casual Femme Saphiosexual Preferred Pronoun?: she, her Relationship Status: Divorced Join Date: Aug 2017 Location: Albuquerque, NM Posts: 376 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,676 Thanked 1,270 Times in 330 Posts Rep Power: 10346602	There are a couple of flies on the frame surrounding the screen on my laptop. I could not understand why my cursor wasn't moving them away from the laptop. Twice. smh __________________ "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom" Anais Nin