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01-22-2014, 01:56 PM
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#17401 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Transguy Preferred Pronoun?:
He Relationship Status:
single  Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Central West Coast of Florida
Posts: 5,204
Thanks: 34,866
Thanked 17,781 Times in 3,940 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857   |
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude." "You must be an engineer," said the balloonist. "I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is, technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far." The woman below responded, "You must be in Management." "I am," replied the balloonist. "But how did you know?" "Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow it's my fault!”
__________________
“You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that widened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this.”
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01-22-2014, 06:44 PM
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#17402 |
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MILLION $$$ PUSSY
How Do You Identify?:
Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
Iconic Ms. Relationship Status:
Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: ** La Reina del Sur**
Posts: 22,488
Thanks: 32,231
Thanked 80,081 Times in 15,669 Posts
Rep Power: 21474874 |
__________________
"If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden   |
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01-22-2014, 07:06 PM
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#17403 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Depends on the day. Preferred Pronoun?:
"I" and "we" Relationship Status:
Very good. Thank you for asking. 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 11,501
Thanks: 16,676
Thanked 15,176 Times in 4,340 Posts
Rep Power: 21474860 |
Allow me to offer up a neat Latin phrase that some folks may find useful at times throughout their working day "Qui dederit cacas."
__________________
______________________________ ______________________________ |
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01-23-2014, 06:24 AM
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#17404 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Dame, doll, twist, dish Preferred Pronoun?:
Ladylike ones Relationship Status:
******* Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: We drink sweet tea here
Posts: 2,903
Thanks: 6,654
Thanked 10,368 Times in 2,088 Posts
Rep Power: 21474850 |
Morning cuteness...
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01-23-2014, 06:42 AM
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#17405 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status:
Happy Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic.
Posts: 9,234
Thanks: 9,840
Thanked 34,635 Times in 7,642 Posts
Rep Power: 21474861 |
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01-23-2014, 06:43 AM
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#17406 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status:
Happy Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic.
Posts: 9,234
Thanks: 9,840
Thanked 34,635 Times in 7,642 Posts
Rep Power: 21474861 |
this made me spew coffee
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01-23-2014, 06:56 AM
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#17407 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status:
Happy Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic.
Posts: 9,234
Thanks: 9,840
Thanked 34,635 Times in 7,642 Posts
Rep Power: 21474861 |
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01-23-2014, 09:30 AM
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#17408 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
a genderqueer nuisance Preferred Pronoun?:
bitchboi Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: new zealand
Posts: 7,120
Thanks: 9,467
Thanked 7,962 Times in 2,340 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857  |
holy moly...
__________________
be true, be you, be brave.
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01-23-2014, 10:41 AM
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#17409 |
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Guest
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| The Following User Says Thank You to For This Useful Post: |
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01-23-2014, 03:47 PM
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#17410 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Transguy Preferred Pronoun?:
He Relationship Status:
single Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Central West Coast of Florida
Posts: 5,204
Thanks: 34,866
Thanked 17,781 Times in 3,940 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
__________________
“You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that widened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this.”
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01-23-2014, 04:00 PM
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#17411 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme on a varied spectrum/babygirl Preferred Pronoun?:
she/her/hers Relationship Status:
Loved ლ ⚢ 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Devenir un avec l'immatérialité des étoiles...
Posts: 9,434
Thanks: 6,603
Thanked 14,668 Times in 6,298 Posts
Rep Power: 21474858 |
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| The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to Genesis For This Useful Post: |
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01-23-2014, 04:15 PM
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#17412 | |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Transguy Preferred Pronoun?:
He Relationship Status:
single Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Central West Coast of Florida
Posts: 5,204
Thanks: 34,866
Thanked 17,781 Times in 3,940 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
Quote:
__________________
“You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that widened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this.”
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| The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Jesse For This Useful Post: |
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01-23-2014, 04:23 PM
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#17413 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
covered in ink and glitter Preferred Pronoun?:
feminine ones Relationship Status:
watching pictures of cats on tumblr 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Scandinavia
Posts: 382
Thanks: 359
Thanked 702 Times in 196 Posts
Rep Power: 10186797 |
Sorry for a long one, but these are brilliat
HOW MANY MALE NOVELISTS
Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: The terrible sex had made him feel deeply interesting, like a murder victim. Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: The beast, which had represented his feelings, was dead. “I think I’ll do a pushup,” he announced to the sea. The sea respected him for it. Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: [4000 words from the narrator about his feelings on his childhood circumcision] Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: War is hell. Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: He straightened his tie. He had lost, but in a romantic way, which meant that he had won. “I’m going to do a pushup,” he announced to his tie. His tie respected him for it, and secretly wished that it could have sex with him. Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: You wouldn’t understand. Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: He swore curses at his coworkers. He was making a lot of money. Fuck. Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: This neighborhood in New York City was very different from the other neighborhood in New York City he’d just been in. Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: He lit a cigarette. His glass of whiskey lit a cigarette too. “I can only truly love my best friend,” he said, “but not in a gay way. Women wouldn’t understand it. They’re too gay.” Both of the cigarettes agreed. Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: [4000 words about an isolated encounter with a service worker that borders on racist and goes nowhere] Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: “The cocaine isn’t the point. The cocaine is a metaphor,” he explained wearily over the pile of cocaine. She folded her arms. She didn’t understand his cocaine. “Didn’t you read my manifesto?” The prostitute had read his manifesto. Why couldn’t she? Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: This lightbulb is inauthentic. Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: ”It’s only the institution I have a problem with,” he explained to the empty bar. Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: The time had come for him to go to war, and also find himself, and also reject the rules of your society. Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: His alcoholism was different, because someday he was going to die. Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: [Nothing happens for 450 pages; receives fourteen awards] Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: "You have so much to learn," he told her. She was only 19, but she was the best student in his undergraduate short story class who was also female and classically beautiful. "I will teach you, and also have sex with you. You can walk around wearing only my tweed jacket after, but only for 20 minutes. You're not ready to wear it for longer." "Is that the jacket with the elbow patches?" she murmured, her full lips plump as an overripe cherry, already tainted with corruption at the pit. "No," he said harshly, "it has double elbow patches." He turned to face the window. "I knew you wouldn't understand."
__________________
I’m here, I’m queer, sorry I’m late I overslept 
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| The Following User Says Thank You to silkepus For This Useful Post: |
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01-24-2014, 10:19 AM
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#17414 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status:
Happy Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic.
Posts: 9,234
Thanks: 9,840
Thanked 34,635 Times in 7,642 Posts
Rep Power: 21474861 |
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01-24-2014, 10:20 AM
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#17415 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status:
Happy Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic.
Posts: 9,234
Thanks: 9,840
Thanked 34,635 Times in 7,642 Posts
Rep Power: 21474861 |
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01-24-2014, 11:02 AM
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#17416 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status:
Happy Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic.
Posts: 9,234
Thanks: 9,840
Thanked 34,635 Times in 7,642 Posts
Rep Power: 21474861 |
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01-24-2014, 11:29 AM
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#17417 |
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Guest
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| The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to For This Useful Post: |
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01-24-2014, 03:09 PM
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#17418 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme on a varied spectrum/babygirl Preferred Pronoun?:
she/her/hers Relationship Status:
Loved ლ ⚢
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Devenir un avec l'immatérialité des étoiles...
Posts: 9,434
Thanks: 6,603
Thanked 14,668 Times in 6,298 Posts
Rep Power: 21474858 |
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01-24-2014, 03:51 PM
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#17419 |
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MILLION $$$ PUSSY
How Do You Identify?:
Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
Iconic Ms. Relationship Status:
Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: ** La Reina del Sur**
Posts: 22,488
Thanks: 32,231
Thanked 80,081 Times in 15,669 Posts
Rep Power: 21474874 |
__________________
"If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden |
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01-24-2014, 05:20 PM
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#17420 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status:
Happy Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic.
Posts: 9,234
Thanks: 9,840
Thanked 34,635 Times in 7,642 Posts
Rep Power: 21474861 |
This one had me scratching my head
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| The Following User Says Thank You to Kobi For This Useful Post: |
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| Tags |
| randomly, randomly post, stuff |
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Linear Mode
