Neurodiversity

[Andrew, Jr.]

Belle, I have no idea. Good idea to think about.

[violaine]

there's so much i could write about how communication could go smoother between NT's/AT's, from my own ideas/observations- but if one party is unwilling to see there will be differences [both ways !]- in use of phraseologies/tone/timing/pacing of conversation/body language, what difference does it make ?

immediate judgments, & accusations- could possibly be avoided, and the issue[s] survivable if there's room for lots of patience, a willingness to go there and stay the course, and support-

a space made for the person talking at the time to be fully heard, and respected for their feelings/thoughts -without immediately mowing the person down by connecting the words of the speaker to previous experiences, expectations, learned from wherever/whomever-

but that's hard work. how does one unlearn decades of learning/being conditioned - or living sort of on your own island with AT wiring ?

AT's can get stuck in a mode of thinking they are right just as easily as NT's; AT's could think of an NT in unfavourable light, as quickly as an NT could do the same-

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by violaine

there's so much i could write about how communication could go smoother between NT's/AT's, from my own ideas/observations- but if one party is unwilling to see there will be differences [both ways !]- in use of phraseologies/tone/timing/pacing of conversation/body language, what difference does it make ?

immediate judgments, & accusations- could possibly be avoided, and the issue[s] survivable if there's room for lots of patience, a willingness to go there and stay the course, and support-

a space made for the person talking at the time to be fully heard, and respected for their feelings/thoughts -without immediately mowing the person down by connecting the words of the speaker to previous experiences, expectations, learned from wherever/whomever-

but that's hard work.

It is hard work. Very hard work.

I know in my case almost all of my socialization behaviors did not come naturally. I learned them from experience and observation. I am learning to be flexible with what I think I know, or have learned. But it is indeed hard work (exhausting).

Expectations. The Dalai Lama says that to have true happyness we must give up expectations and how true this is.

I do still want to be understood though. I keep hoping.

[Apocalipstic]

More on thinking we are right.

I guess maybe everyone does to an extent?

I wonder if my thoughts are reasonable to other people....easy to understand. It amazes me when I write post after post and someone reads it and reacts to 4 words I said which to me are not interconnected....and I wonder is it my inability to communicate, or is it their reading comprehension.

Likely somewhere in the middle.

[christie]

I just wanted to take a moment to thank each of you for sharing on this thread. As the mom of an Aspie, it gives me a very unique perspective to read your thoughts from the "me" space that I have to work so hard to get from my son.

Your sharing always makes me take pause to reflect upon how I might better communicate with bratboy and I daresay its helped me be a better mom.

As he reaches legal manhood, my heart gets all caught up in how he will be able to fare in the world. You all make me very hopeful that he will be most successful.

Thank you.

Much love,
C

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by christie0918

I just wanted to take a moment to thank each of you for sharing on this thread. As the mom of an Aspie, it gives me a very unique perspective to read your thoughts from the "me" space that I have to work so hard to get from my son.

Your sharing always makes me take pause to reflect upon how I might better communicate with bratboy and I daresay its helped me be a better mom.

As he reaches legal manhood, my heart gets all caught up in how he will be able to fare in the world. You all make me very hopeful that he will be most successful.

Thank you.

Much love,
C

Ohhhh for a parent who even wants to know her child's thoughts!

Actualy it is so difficult for me to separate what I think and what I feel and what the difference is and how to put it into words...especially in person.

I still at my age and unclear as to what the difference in thoughts and feelings really is. My therapist is always trying to give me examples...but I still am all over the place.

Your son is lucky to have you!

xoxo

[Spirit Dancer]

Just wondering how a Neuro Pediatric Doctor could be so uneducated
I want to scream she isn't mentally challenged she's on the spectrum, but I remained calm, listened to the babble and lists of medications he will give her; then my reply you're more of an azz than most you can take your medication and shove it to the sun never shines again, i'll take my beautiful, talented, empathic child home where she is love and understood. sorry i needed to vent

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Spirit Dancer

Just wondering how a Neuro Pediatric Doctor could be so uneducated
I want to scream she isn't mentally challenged she's on the spectrum, but I remained calm, listened to the babble and lists of medications he will give her; then my reply you're more of an azz than most you can take your medication and shove it to the sun never shines again, i'll take my beautiful, talented, empathic child home where she is love and understood. sorry i needed to vent

So sorry this happened, and so glad she has you!

[christie]

Originally Posted by Spirit Dancer

Just wondering how a Neuro Pediatric Doctor could be so uneducated
I want to scream she isn't mentally challenged she's on the spectrum, but I remained calm, listened to the babble and lists of medications he will give her; then my reply you're more of an azz than most you can take your medication and shove it to the sun never shines again, i'll take my beautiful, talented, empathic child home where she is love and understood. sorry i needed to vent

((((((SD))))))))

This is one of the MOST frustrating parts of being the parent of my Aspie. Educating the educators, teaching the teachers, etc...

I don't know if its a matter of uneducated or more a matter of "this is what I think and I am a doctor and I am GOD" situation.

Depending on where you live, there are physicians/institutes specifically for autism/spectrum. Vanderbilt in Nashville has TRIAD and while I had dreamed of such a place when bratboy was young and Aspie's were relatively unheard of, I did use them once they came into existence and he loved, LOVED going to summer camp with other spectrum kids. It was pricey, but worth it.

The only thing I know to tell you is to keep "doctor shopping" - you will eventually find one who makes you comfortable and confident.

As an aside, I was yahoo'ing with bratboy last night. The conversation went like this:

Him: "Mom, does anyone at your work know iPhones?"

Me: "Yep. Why? Is yours broken? It has a warranty."

Him: "Can you see if they know how to jailbreak one?"

Me: (in my techy ignorance I wasnt about to let on that I didnt know what in the HELL he is talking about) "Sure, bugs. Turn on your yahoo when you get home from school tomorrow and I will let you know."

Now, my IT fella explained it to me, but I still dont know why bratboy needs to do this to a $400 phone. Today's conversation went a lil like this:

Me: "Why do you need this?"

Him: "So I can turn it into a modem for my laptop"

Me: "You have a wireless connection - why do you need a modem?"

Him: "So I can have internet at school."

Me: "You have access at school. Why do you need this?"

Him: "Cause they block crap I am trying to look at like youtube and myspace."

Me:

These are the times when I call Jess and say, "Honey!! You aint gonna BE-LIEVE what YOUR son did now!" Poor Jess - not only inherited the bratboy, but now has to take ownership when the bratboy does some crackheaded crap! LOL

[Jess]

Originally Posted by christie0918

((((((SD))))))))

This is one of the MOST frustrating parts of being the parent of my Aspie. Educating the educators, teaching the teachers, etc...

I don't know if its a matter of uneducated or more a matter of "this is what I think and I am a doctor and I am GOD" situation.

Depending on where you live, there are physicians/institutes specifically for autism/spectrum. Vanderbilt in Nashville has TRIAD and while I had dreamed of such a place when bratboy was young and Aspie's were relatively unheard of, I did use them once they came into existence and he loved, LOVED going to summer camp with other spectrum kids. It was pricey, but worth it.

The only thing I know to tell you is to keep "doctor shopping" - you will eventually find one who makes you comfortable and confident.

As an aside, I was yahoo'ing with bratboy last night. The conversation went like this:

Him: "Mom, does anyone at your work know iPhones?"

Me: "Yep. Why? Is yours broken? It has a warranty."

Him: "Can you see if they know how to jailbreak one?"

Me: (in my techy ignorance I wasnt about to let on that I didnt know what in the HELL he is talking about) "Sure, bugs. Turn on your yahoo when you get home from school tomorrow and I will let you know."

Now, my IT fella explained it to me, but I still dont know why bratboy needs to do this to a $400 phone. Today's conversation went a lil like this:

Me: "Why do you need this?"

Him: "So I can turn it into a modem for my laptop"

Me: "You have a wireless connection - why do you need a modem?"

Him: "So I can have internet at school."

Me: "You have access at school. Why do you need this?"

Him: "Cause they block crap I am trying to look at like youtube and myspace."

Me:

These are the times when I call Jess and say, "Honey!! You aint gonna BE-LIEVE what YOUR son did now!" Poor Jess - not only inherited the bratboy, but now has to take ownership when the bratboy does some crackheaded crap! LOL

The boy is BRILLIANT! I say, BRILLIANT! and may need minor medical attention if he breaks that phone... jus sayin

actually, I will introduce him to the groovy old school phone this summer.. two cans and a string.. jailbreak THAT schmart guy

[violaine]

no more of this:
[except i'll toss them at andrew once in a while = oxox ]

now it's time for motorbikes!

i hope you all have a safe and interesting weekend.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Oh Belle,

Love you can hit me with snowballs anytime!

Love,
Andrew
oxoxox

[violaine]

i am spending time away from the state of indiana, with an amazingly intelligent and beautiful little aspie girl of nine years

[she walks on her toes too!!]

[Spirit Dancer]

Originally Posted by violaine

i am spending time away from the state of indiana, with an amazingly intelligent and beautiful little aspie girl of nine years

[she walks on her toes too!!]

Two peas in a podlove at first sight

[Andrew, Jr.]

Just dropping by to say hello to everyone here. I hope you all are well, and enjoying your day!

[violaine]

hallo to everyone from tennessee-

tomorrow, i will be leaving a beautiful family and state for home [indiana]. we have had a great time together, and being around another aspie girl- who is similar to me in some ways [exact in others!] is just the best.

listening to people discuss how alike we are brings a big smile to our faces.

oh! and she loves vegan fare

hope you are all doing well, and have a peaceful week.

andrew, i am looking for a snowball to toss your way

belle

[Andrew, Jr.]

Belle,

You can toss one anytime, day or night. If I am zzzz I am sure Mr. Dino will be ready to catch it and play catch with you. He is like that. Just a lovebug!

Today is hard. I am struggling with words. I feel like I am in a void. Does anyone else feel like that?

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Belle,

You can toss one anytime, day or night. If I am zzzz I am sure Mr. Dino will be ready to catch it and play catch with you. He is like that. Just a lovebug!

Today is hard. I am struggling with words. I feel like I am in a void. Does anyone else feel like that?

Yes, I get this feeling where it's like my brain is in a wind tunnel and sounds and pressure seem to go in and out. Kind of like a cooling unit? Not sure how to describe it.

I hope you feel better!

[Apocalipstic]

Belle, how cool that you got to spend some time with yoru friends, it sounds perfect!

[Andrew, Jr.]

A cooling unit - that is it perfectly. I just cannot stop it. What do you do? I have tried my migrain meds...nothing. I used my reading glasses...nope. I just have no clue. I tried to watch TV...it made it worse.