What every Femme should know...

[1QuirkyKiwi]

Originally Posted by apretty

You don't have to be a simpering idiot to meet and keep a good butch, and s/he's half-way decent s/he'll have some appropriate boundaries and won't be calling your ass back when you hang up on her--You'll then know you've found the one because s/he's got a backbone that keeps him/her strong during trips to the ER and Thanksgiving with your fucked-up family (where she might hold your hand, but most likely is too busy carving the turkey) and you'll be able to actually lean on her once in a while but guess what--She's going to require you to have some personal accountability and won't be staring at you slack-jawed during any of it.

Originally Posted by JAGG

I have read this poem before on a quote site. It didn't really do much for me. Because if she looks like the joker in sweats I'm going to tell her about it. I'd want her to tell me if I looked bad. Staying up all night watching someone sleep is very creepy. Maybe I'm not very romantic. But just because someone does all these things that doesn't make them the love of my life. I had a gf once who did those things and was cheating on me and stabbing me in the back every chance she got so.....

It was me that posted it on the quote thread….my reason for doing so, was to suggest a partner (however they identify) as gently loving and adoring their Femme in a positive way.

Sometimes it’s nice when your partner watches you sleep or you them; there’s a tenderness about it; a deeply loving trust.

No-one looks their best all the time, yet, your partner will think you’re beautiful to them anyway because they see all the facets that make their Femme who they are and some of the reasons they fell in love with them.

I appreciate something like this doesn’t stoke the fire for everyone, yet, for some, it’s nice to know they are adored in a gently loving way.

It still shouldn’t take away from any Femme what they need or should have; that’s for each of us to decide.

[Novelafemme]

Originally Posted by 1QuirkyKiwi

It was me that posted it on the quote thread….my reason for doing so, was to suggest a partner (however they identify) as gently loving and adoring their Femme in a positive way.

Sometimes it’s nice when your partner watches you sleep or you them; there’s a tenderness about it; a deeply loving trust.

No-one looks their best all the time, yet, your partner will think you’re beautiful to them anyway because they see all the facets that make their Femme who they are and some of the reasons they fell in love with them.

I appreciate something like this doesn’t stoke the fire for everyone, yet, for some, it’s nice to know they are adored in a gently loving way.

It still shouldn’t take away from any Femme what they need or should have; that’s for each of us to decide.

I thought it was sweet AND sort of creepy...but mostly sweet. I'm all about mushy sentiments like that, though. The male pronouns threw me off for sure.

I guess I have a big problem being put on a pedestal by anyone, my partner included. It's too damned much pressure! And I certainly don't want to feel like I am the center of anyone's universe...a part of it, yes, but let's keep everything in perspective. And please don't ever make the mistake of thinking you are the boss of me. Cause HOLY SHIT will there be trouble! I also don't think there's anything wrong with "needing" someone. That needing doesn't necessarily have to mandate something unhealthy. It can be as simple as needing someone's loving presence in your life...their laughter, their support, whatever it is they bring into your world that makes each day a bit brighter and more enjoyable. That can leave some feeling vulnerable, yes...but not wrong.

Thanks for sharing, OP.

[1QuirkyKiwi]

Originally Posted by Novelafemme

I thought it was sweet AND sort of creepy...but mostly sweet. I'm all about mushy sentiments like that, though. The male pronouns threw me off for sure.

I guess I have a big problem being put on a pedestal by anyone, my partner included. It's too damned much pressure! And I certainly don't want to feel like I am the center of anyone's universe...a part of it, yes, but let's keep everything in perspective. And please don't ever make the mistake of thinking you are the boss of me. Cause HOLY SHIT will there be trouble! I also don't think there's anything wrong with "needing" someone. That needing doesn't necessarily have to mandate something unhealthy. It can be as simple as needing someone's loving presence in your life...their laughter, their support, whatever it is they bring into your world that makes each day a bit brighter and more enjoyable. That can leave some feeling vulnerable, yes...but not wrong.

Thanks for sharing, OP.

The male pronouns make me feel very uncomfortable, too! When I posted the prose in the Quote thread I changed the male pronouns to female ones, lol!

I’m comfortable with being gently adored in a healthy way, but the idea of being put on a pedestal freaks me out! I don’t put my partner on one, either. For me, I adore my partner for hys/her essences and qualities as the person they are and accept that they are their own person, as I am very much my own.

It’s good to have the vulnerability in a healthy relationship as it creates a bond when communication is open and honest.

[Medusa]

I might go start a thread in the Femme section but I do want to comment on Snowy's and June's posts about the unspoken sisterhood between Femmes.

In my world, and in the circle of friends I have, I expect my Femme sisters to know that they have value regardless of who they are screwing and if they don't yet feel that power, they have to be doing the work to get there.

I think when we talk about "The Femme Sisterhood", we are talking about the expectation that we have (or at least that I have with my close friends and that they also have of me) an open, honest, authentic relationship not only to each other but to ourselves. Because if you aren't in touch with your damage, you have the potential to radiate that out onto other people.

My girls are smart people who often screw up but who know when they need to be working on something or at the very least are able to hear it when one of us says, "That thing you're doing concerns me because it looks like you are acting out or out of control."

We're able to hear those words from one another and take with us a sense of LOVE rather than those words sounding to us like "I want you to act different because I'm trying to control you or am jealous of you".
Because being surrounded by Femmes who get you and love you makes you feel really safe and secure and you start to accept the love that they want to give you rather than being suspicious of it. (as we are often taught to do with one another)