grieving our pets

Soft*Silver · 02-16-2011, 02:37 PM

I did not see a thread for this and if there is one I am sorry.

Perhaps some of you have followed my posts about my old girl newfie, who is 14 and would have been 15 this May. She has dementia and for two years I have been spoon feeding her because she has lost the ability to eat from a bowl. She had days of confusion and was at times, disoriented. Lately she began to have accidents in the house and I tried many tricks to conquer this problem, eventually going to Depends, with a hole cut for the tail. Even that, sadly, was not fully efficient.

About four days ago she began to act very strange, even for her. Long/short, her dementia finally took hold of too much of her and she is truly lost. She comes to look for me and when she looks at me I can tell she isnt quite sure why she is looking at me. She loves me, that is still there, but there is such a sense of panic that never leaves. Not fair to keep her alive in this state of being. And worse, she cannot eat. If you could see the struggle she goes thru at meal time, trying to open her mouth and not being able to. She wants to eat. She is hungry. Even if I put it in her mouth and hold it shut, it is terrifying to her. Like its hot and needs to be spat out. And she does as soon as I let go. She has dropped weight in 4 days. Nothing is working. I am out of tricks. Add her arthritus is worse than its ever been.

Its time. I talked to the vet on the phone. We had an appt set today. After talking on the phone, I know what kind of appt its going to be. My girl will be in my arms and I will be her compass one last time as I help her cross over...to where she will know she can find me, where she will never need to feel alone again, where she can eat and move and "be" without pain or confusion forevermore. And one day I will join her there...along with all my other pups I have helped over that rainbow bridge.

Think of me at 5 PM EST. A wonderful dog will be crossing over. Sing your prayers so she will know we cared that she was part of us over here ....

Soft*Silver · 02-16-2011, 02:40 PM

Grieve not

nor speak of me with tears,
But laugh and talk of me
as if I were beside you...
I loved you so -
'twas Heaven here with you.
- Isla Pascshal Richardson

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

wimsiclegirl · 02-16-2011, 02:50 PM

Dearest Softness....

There are no words that bring sincere comfort at a time like this...Our pets are like our children or our closest family members. They are there for us with unconditional love in the good times and the bad. Losing them is such a tragedy...

It is obvious through your posts how well loved your dog has been. To help her cross over is the ultimate act of love that you can offer her...a peaceful transition.

Knowing that it is time and being strong enough to let go are very difficult decisions to make. I commend you and hope that you find some comfort in the closure this experience will bring both of you.

Praying for both of you...Courage, strength, comfort and peace...

In my thoughts and prayers...

suebee · 02-16-2011, 02:54 PM

All of us, especially those of us who have been there will be right there beside you Softness. It's painful, but it's the price for 14 years of unconditional love. This is the last favour you can do for a friend. I'm glad you'll be there with her.

May you have a peaceful crossing old girl. Soon you'll romp in the fields like a puppy and everything will be right again.

Sue

PinkieLee · 02-16-2011, 02:55 PM

(((((softness)))))))

I am so very sorry. I know how much you love your sweet girl, and how dedicated you've been in keeping her happy & healthy. I pray that peace & comfort surround you during this difficult time.

lipstixgal · 02-16-2011, 03:01 PM

I am sorry you have to lose your dog and I hope you find the courage and the peace in all of this. I will think of you on Friday in the morning. I didn't know that dogs can get dementia and everything else that goes with it...

Greyson · 02-16-2011, 03:02 PM

Softness, my heart goes out to you and Newfie. You and Newfie will be in my thoughts and prayer.

Soon · 02-16-2011, 03:10 PM

Will be thinking of you and your beloved newfie.

Peace to you in this difficult time.

The_Lady_Snow · 02-16-2011, 03:40 PM

My condolences softness, we'll be thinking of you both.

Jesse · 02-16-2011, 03:56 PM

THE DOGS WHO HAVE SHARED OUR LIVES
The dogs who've shared our lives.
In subtle ways they let us know
their spirit still survives.
Old habits still make us think
we hear a barking at the door.
Or step back when we drop
a tasty morsel on the floor.
Our feet still go around the place
the food dish used to be,
And, sometime, coming home at night,
we miss them terribly.
And although time may bring new friends
and a new food dish to fill,
That one place in our hearts
belongs to them...
and always will.

---Linda Barnes ---

lipstixgal · 02-16-2011, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jesse

THE DOGS WHO HAVE SHARED OUR LIVES
The dogs who've shared our lives.
In subtle ways they let us know
their spirit still survives.
Old habits still make us think
we hear a barking at the door.
Or step back when we drop
a tasty morsel on the floor.
Our feet still go around the place
the food dish used to be,
And, sometime, coming home at night,
we miss them terribly.
And although time may bring new friends
and a new food dish to fill,
That one place in our hearts
belongs to them...
and always will.

---Linda Barnes ---

That is very nice it reminds of my dog which was a scottish terrier I lost to cancer 3 years ago and I still miss him!!

Dreamer · 02-16-2011, 04:09 PM

Softness know we are thinking of you and of Newfie. Sometimes the kindest things are the hardest.

If it should be....
If it should be that I grow frail and weak,
and pain should keep me from my sleep,
then you must do what must be done,
for we know this last battle can't be won.

You will be sad, I understand,
but don't let grief then stay your hand,
for this day, more than the rest,
your love and friendship must stand the test.

We've had so many happy years,
what is to come can hold no fears.
Would you want me to suffer? So,
when the time comes, please let me go.

Take me where my needs they'll tend,
only stay with me until the end,
and hold me firm and speak to me,
until my eyes no longer see.

It is a kindness that you do to me,
although my tail it's last has waved,
from pain and suffering I have been saved.

Do not grieve, it should be you,
who must decide this thing to do.
We've been so close, we two these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

Author unknown

princessbelle · 02-16-2011, 04:21 PM

I am so sorry Softness. I know how hard this has been on you and how wonderful you have been to your baby. What a gift YOU have been to her as well. Please take solice knowing you did everything you could have possibly done and more. Love and hugs to you honey.

christie · 02-16-2011, 04:36 PM

There are no words other than we are thinking of you during this most difficult time. I'm glad she had you in her life and know well the joy a big ole dog can bring to your life. The gentle giant dogs have a special place in my heart.

Be gentle with yourself.

Christie & Jess

Semantics · 02-16-2011, 04:40 PM

Thinking of you and your sweet girl

WolfyOne · 02-16-2011, 04:48 PM

Softness, I certainly understand your grief because like you, I'm an animal rescuer
The ache in your heart is heavy now, but in time will ease
It is never easy making the decision you've made
often times we hope they will go peacefully in their sleep
Even when that happens, we're not as prepared as we think
We cry and then we cry some more and it hurts
Sometimes we even ask ourselves what gave us the right to have them put down
Just know, know matter what you're thinking, you did what was best
You took the pain and suffering she's been doing away
She's up there smiling at you right now
She knows one day you'll be reunited and she'll show you around
Right now, all you need to do is look up and smile back at her soul
Because as we happen to know, All Dogs Go To Heaven

Gemme · 02-16-2011, 05:18 PM

Softness and Story,

Many thoughts and much love to you both on your upcoming, separate journeys through this world. Know that the other is always going to be in one another's hearts and always wishing and wanting the very best for one another.

Blessings to you both.

weatherboi · 02-16-2011, 06:47 PM

hey softness-
i am so very sorry about your loss!!!!

Mtn · 02-16-2011, 07:02 PM

((((Softness)))))) so sorry, hon.

DomnNC · 02-16-2011, 07:25 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss Softness, it's a hard thing to have to finally come to do for our pets, but it is better than continuing to watch them suffer. It took a lot of courage and a lot of love for you to make that call, I know. Just know that as you hold her and say goodbye that she is thanking you as well, thanking you for ending her pain and suffering as well. She will forever be a part of your heart living and breathing within. Just close your eyes and she is there, always.

02-16-2011, 02:37 PM	#1
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,502 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,428 Thanked 15,621 Times in 3,976 Posts Rep Power*: 21474856	grieving our pets I did not see a thread for this and if there is one I am sorry. Perhaps some of you have followed my posts about my old girl newfie, who is 14 and would have been 15 this May. She has dementia and for two years I have been spoon feeding her because she has lost the ability to eat from a bowl. She had days of confusion and was at times, disoriented. Lately she began to have accidents in the house and I tried many tricks to conquer this problem, eventually going to Depends, with a hole cut for the tail. Even that, sadly, was not fully efficient. About four days ago she began to act very strange, even for her. Long/short, her dementia finally took hold of too much of her and she is truly lost. She comes to look for me and when she looks at me I can tell she isnt quite sure why she is looking at me. She loves me, that is still there, but there is such a sense of panic that never leaves. Not fair to keep her alive in this state of being. And worse, she cannot eat. If you could see the struggle she goes thru at meal time, trying to open her mouth and not being able to. She wants to eat. She is hungry. Even if I put it in her mouth and hold it shut, it is terrifying to her. Like its hot and needs to be spat out. And she does as soon as I let go. She has dropped weight in 4 days. Nothing is working. I am out of tricks. Add her arthritus is worse than its ever been. Its time. I talked to the vet on the phone. We had an appt set today. After talking on the phone, I know what kind of appt its going to be. My girl will be in my arms and I will be her compass one last time as I help her cross over...to where she will know she can find me, where she will never need to feel alone again, where she can eat and move and "be" without pain or confusion forevermore. And one day I will join her there...along with all my other pups I have helped over that rainbow bridge. Think of me at 5 PM EST. A wonderful dog will be crossing over. Sing your prayers so she will know we cared that she was part of us over here .... __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

02-16-2011, 02:40 PM	#2
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,502 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,428 Thanked 15,621 Times in 3,976 Posts Rep Power*: 21474856	Grieve not nor speak of me with tears, But laugh and talk of me as if I were beside you... I loved you so - 'twas Heaven here with you. - Isla Pascshal Richardson -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

02-16-2011, 02:50 PM	#3
wimsiclegirl Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her, babygirl, Relationship Status: Completely smitten... Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Southern girl stuck somewhere in the middle Posts: 270 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,174 Thanked 399 Times in 135 Posts Rep Power: 2506782	So sorry ... Dearest Softness.... There are no words that bring sincere comfort at a time like this...Our pets are like our children or our closest family members. They are there for us with unconditional love in the good times and the bad. Losing them is such a tragedy... It is obvious through your posts how well loved your dog has been. To help her cross over is the ultimate act of love that you can offer her...a peaceful transition. Knowing that it is time and being strong enough to let go are very difficult decisions to make. I commend you and hope that you find some comfort in the closure this experience will bring both of you. Praying for both of you...Courage, strength, comfort and peace... In my thoughts and prayers... __________________ Wimsiclegirl

02-16-2011, 02:54 PM	#4
suebee Member How Do You Identify?: TOWANDA! Preferred Pronoun?: Queen Bee Relationship Status: Good 'n married. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Eastern Canada. But if I make a wrong turn at the lights I get stopped by a border guard. Posts: 1,499 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,355 Thanked 2,759 Times in 820 Posts Rep Power: 16450091	All of us, especially those of us who have been there will be right there beside you Softness. It's painful, but it's the price for 14 years of unconditional love. This is the last favour you can do for a friend. I'm glad you'll be there with her. May you have a peaceful crossing old girl. Soon you'll romp in the fields like a puppy and everything will be right again. Sue __________________ "Compassion, in which all ethics must take root, can only attain its full breadth and depth if it embraces all living creatures and does not limit itself to mankind." -Albert Schweitzer

02-16-2011, 03:01 PM	#6
lipstixgal Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: coupled Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: New Jersey Posts: 3,028 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 201 Thanked 1,690 Times in 1,064 Posts Rep Power: 1494760	I am sorry you have to lose your dog and I hope you find the courage and the peace in all of this. I will think of you on Friday in the morning. I didn't know that dogs can get dementia and everything else that goes with it... __________________ Gail

02-16-2011, 02:55 PM	#5
PinkieLee Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: I need ya boo, gotta see ya boo Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Big Money Texas Posts: 4,708 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 24,309 Thanked 13,087 Times in 3,051 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	(((((softness))))))) I am so very sorry. I know how much you love your sweet girl, and how dedicated you've been in keeping her happy & healthy. I pray that peace & comfort surround you during this difficult time.

02-16-2011, 03:02 PM	#7
Greyson Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Transmasculine/Non-Binary Preferred Pronoun?: Hy (Pronounced He) Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: SF Bay Area Posts: 6,589 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,132 Thanked 8,165 Times in 2,007 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Softness, my heart goes out to you and Newfie. You and Newfie will be in my thoughts and prayer. __________________ Sometimes you don't realize your own strength until you come face to face with your greatest weakness. - Susan Gale

02-16-2011, 03:10 PM	#8
Soon Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Relationship Status: attached Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: . Posts: 6,896 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,046 Thanked 13,118 Times in 3,391 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Will be thinking of you and your beloved newfie. Peace to you in this difficult time.

02-16-2011, 03:40 PM	#9
The_Lady_Snow MILLION $$$ PUSSY How Do You Identify?: Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Iconic Ms. Relationship Status: Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: La Reina del Sur Posts: 22,488 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32,231 Thanked 80,119 Times in 15,678 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	My condolences softness, we'll be thinking of you both. __________________ "If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden

02-16-2011, 03:56 PM	#10
Jesse Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Transguy Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Central West Coast of Florida Posts: 5,204 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,866 Thanked 17,793 Times in 3,939 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	THE DOGS WHO HAVE SHARED OUR LIVES The dogs who've shared our lives. In subtle ways they let us know their spirit still survives. Old habits still make us think we hear a barking at the door. Or step back when we drop a tasty morsel on the floor. Our feet still go around the place the food dish used to be, And, sometime, coming home at night, we miss them terribly. And although time may bring new friends and a new food dish to fill, That one place in our hearts belongs to them... and always will. ---Linda Barnes --- __________________ “You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that widened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this.”

02-16-2011, 04:09 PM	#12
Dreamer Member How Do You Identify?: butch Relationship Status: Dreams do come true... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Home with my beautiful wife Posts: 1,143 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,642 Thanked 4,233 Times in 949 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Softness know we are thinking of you and of Newfie. Sometimes the kindest things are the hardest. If it should be.... If it should be that I grow frail and weak, and pain should keep me from my sleep, then you must do what must be done, for we know this last battle can't be won. You will be sad, I understand, but don't let grief then stay your hand, for this day, more than the rest, your love and friendship must stand the test. We've had so many happy years, what is to come can hold no fears. Would you want me to suffer? So, when the time comes, please let me go. Take me where my needs they'll tend, only stay with me until the end, and hold me firm and speak to me, until my eyes no longer see. It is a kindness that you do to me, although my tail it's last has waved, from pain and suffering I have been saved. Do not grieve, it should be you, who must decide this thing to do. We've been so close, we two these years, Don't let your heart hold any tears. Author unknown __________________ "Let your mind start a journey through a strange new world. Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before. Let your soul take you where you long to be...Close your eyes let your spirit start to soar, and you'll live as you have never lived before" ~Erich~

02-16-2011, 04:21 PM	#13
princessbelle Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tennessee Posts: 6,100 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,380 Thanked 30,503 Times in 5,201 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	I am so sorry Softness. I know how hard this has been on you and how wonderful you have been to your baby. What a gift YOU have been to her as well. Please take solice knowing you did everything you could have possibly done and more. Love and hugs to you honey. __________________ ~ I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou

02-16-2011, 04:36 PM	#14
christie Member How Do You Identify?: A Force with which to be reckoned Preferred Pronoun?: just be nice... Relationship Status: I call her Mine Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Transplanted to the PNW Posts: 1,246 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,552 Thanked 2,476 Times in 706 Posts Rep Power: 14753261	There are no words other than we are thinking of you during this most difficult time. I'm glad she had you in her life and know well the joy a big ole dog can bring to your life. The gentle giant dogs have a special place in my heart. Be gentle with yourself. Christie & Jess

02-16-2011, 04:40 PM	#15
Semantics Senior Member How Do You Identify?: malapropist Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: New England Posts: 2,169 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,367 Thanked 4,024 Times in 1,209 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Thinking of you and your sweet girl

02-16-2011, 04:48 PM	#16
WolfyOne Magically Delicious How Do You Identify?: Gentle Butch Relationship Status: Single and content Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Minnesota Posts: 6,558 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 22,052 Thanked 15,407 Times in 4,139 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Softness, I certainly understand your grief because like you, I'm an animal rescuer The ache in your heart is heavy now, but in time will ease It is never easy making the decision you've made often times we hope they will go peacefully in their sleep Even when that happens, we're not as prepared as we think We cry and then we cry some more and it hurts Sometimes we even ask ourselves what gave us the right to have them put down Just know, know matter what you're thinking, you did what was best You took the pain and suffering she's been doing away She's up there smiling at you right now She knows one day you'll be reunited and she'll show you around Right now, all you need to do is look up and smile back at her soul Because as we happen to know, All Dogs Go To Heaven __________________ Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage --- Lao Tzo

02-16-2011, 05:18 PM	#17
Gemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?: She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The roads are narrow here Posts: 36,587 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 182,179 Thanked 108,771 Times in 25,659 Posts Rep Power: 21474887	Softness and Story, Many thoughts and much love to you both on your upcoming, separate journeys through this world. Know that the other is always going to be in one another's hearts and always wishing and wanting the very best for one another. Blessings to you both. __________________ Gemme's Journal I'm misunderestimated.

02-16-2011, 06:47 PM	#18
weatherboi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Owned boy Preferred Pronoun?: Hey boy!!! Relationship Status: counting freckles slowly under Her direction!!! Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: i have 2 sets of geographic coordinates!!! Posts: 6,097 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 26,797 Thanked 12,559 Times in 2,993 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	hey softness- i am so very sorry about your loss!!!!

02-16-2011, 07:02 PM	#19
Mtn Member How Do You Identify?: Stone butch, daddy type Relationship Status: sylvie calls me her studmuffin Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: OR Posts: 691 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,005 Thanked 3,834 Times in 617 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	((((Softness)))))) so sorry, hon. __________________ If you don't sleep in my bed, or sign my paycheck, your opinion probably does not matter to me...

02-16-2011, 07:25 PM	#20
DomnNC Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Male Preferred Pronoun?: He/Him Relationship Status: Widow Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Permanently Banned 11/15/2011 Posts: 1,223 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,618 Thanked 2,582 Times in 837 Posts Rep Power: 0	I'm so sorry for your loss Softness, it's a hard thing to have to finally come to do for our pets, but it is better than continuing to watch them suffer. It took a lot of courage and a lot of love for you to make that call, I know. Just know that as you hold her and say goodbye that she is thanking you as well, thanking you for ending her pain and suffering as well. She will forever be a part of your heart living and breathing within. Just close your eyes and she is there, always.