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Old 11-07-2011, 12:31 PM   #1
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Default Has reading a post ever facilitated a change of mind surrounding something of significance?


I have been reading and posting on different forums for years. There is never a shortage of individuals willing to explain their opinion or position on most any given topic. Lots of people are quite adamant and very passionate about their point of view. And many posters are quite articulate, well informed and rather convincing. So I’m just wondering if anyone has every changed their mind because of something they read on a forum. Has some well articulated argument ever convinced you that you should re-evaluate a previously firmly held belief? I’m not suggesting we are wasting our breath either way. It’s great to share ideas with like-minded people. It’s also interesting to see opposing viewpoints and have the ins and outs of these positions explained thoroughly. My question is simply has anyone ever actually been moved to change their mind about a heartfelt issue, not something rather insignificant like whether peeps are better micro waved or just like that out of the box, but something important to them, a central belief of some kind, because of a post or even several posts they read articulating an opposing point of view?
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Old 11-07-2011, 12:44 PM   #2
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Yes, in a personal situation where the poster was going through something similar and talked about their feelings, hopes, fears and the choices they were making to sort the situaion out.

It allowed me to take a step back and reflect on my own feelings, which helped me to see things more clearly.

I'm open to new perspectives from people, as they may have more experience in a particular situation that may benefit me in some way.
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Old 11-07-2011, 12:59 PM   #3
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Oh heck yeah. For years, this is what keeps me coming to these forums. I prefer discourse to like minded thinking. I'll read, and re-read and think about what I read. I may do a little research to satisfy my curiosity. Many times I have changed my postion on a subject because of the suggestive
writing of a very talented poster. Only for another, just as passionate person to come along and cause me to lean towards the edge of my box. Before I know it, I'm looking for more information to support that subject matter. Many times, I go back and forth. (censorship thread is a very good example) that topic went all over the planet, and so did my brain. People brought perspectives to the computer screen, that I never thought of, until brought to the forefront. Then I sure did think about it. I don't think a perspective was missed.

So to answer your question. Yes, absolutely. I can't imagine a world where we all think the same.
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Old 11-07-2011, 01:07 PM   #4
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Default Ever Grateful...

Absolutely.


If I were to compare my mind stretch from 8 year ago to now,
it would show a significant amount of growth due
to these Forums and our community.

You know when you wake up and yer body gets a hella
good stretch in and it feels hella good?

Yep, same kinda thing happens when
I get to stretch mah mind.


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Old 11-07-2011, 01:22 PM   #5
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Default Sorta

I have had my views expanded by reading others points, it either has moved me a bit from mine veiw,made me go read more about others veiws, and articulate my points better, not for agreement but for difference.
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Old 11-07-2011, 01:22 PM   #6
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Dylan really made me think about trans issues in ways that i had not. i do not think i would get his seal of approval, but i have changed.
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Old 11-07-2011, 02:15 PM   #7
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I was writing a post this morning in the lesbian butches thread and it got me thinking about how much I’ve changed. This thread was a direct result of that realization. I got to thinking about all the people whose posts on this forum and the other who have been a part of my progression. People I don’t know and people who don’t know me and have no idea the effect their words have had in my life. I can site specific threads on .com that contributed to my changing certain ways I view things.

It’s not that I read one post and then I completely change my outlook about something. It’s more that while reading the words of others there are seeds planted, ideas that germinate and as a direct result of these experiences I slowly change and grow.

I have another question. Is there a particular style of presentation that works best for you? Is there a style that just turns you off and no matter what the person says you won’t hear them?
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Old 11-07-2011, 02:32 PM   #8
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I'll second that. I have changed. I was just telling AtLast that. And mind you, I have never spoken a single word to her. We were talking about the ever changing world of Butches. I was saying, I am always reading and reading. Getting rid of what I thought I knew, to make room for the new.
As for writing styles or presentation. I'm going to say no. Nothing in particular turns me off. Sometimes I have to be hit over the head to get the subject matter, other times I'm able to *sow the seed* as you said,
from a few buzz words. The story usually tells it's self if you hang in there long enough. Typed words are slippery and easy to misconstrue. I may read it one way today, come back tomorrow, and read it totally different. Same words.
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Old 11-07-2011, 02:59 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Tick View Post
My question is simply has anyone ever actually been moved to change their mind about a heartfelt issue, not something rather insignificant like whether peeps are better micro waved or just like that out of the box, but something important to them, a central belief of some kind, because of a post or even several posts they read articulating an opposing point of view?
I have no idea, honestly. I know that my opinions on a lot of things have changed over the years, but I can't nail down a thread or a person or a conversation that was the kicker.

I do know that I've thread-stalked myself some over at the other site and I sometimes find myself thinking "did I really believe that? holy cats!"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Tick View Post
I have another question. Is there a particular style of presentation that works best for you? Is there a style that just turns you off and no matter what the person says you won’t hear them?
Not so much a style of communication, but a style of person. People who tend to think that a difference of opinion on a subject is something PERSONAL are the types of people who I eventually just end up not reading. Attack my ideas, do not attack my personality.

There are some people here who I really look forward to the opportunity to read, even when I disagree with what they're saying. Because there's just a level of honesty there that comes off as really untainted. They don't even have similar posting styles (at all) so it's really not the method of delivery that does it for me.

I also really respect anybody who can disagree with you on one subject and then move on, not letting the difference of opinion leak into every other interaction that they have for all eternity.
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Old 11-07-2011, 03:00 PM   #10
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It's not been one post, it has been all of them...and yes, my views have changed on a number of subjects.
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Old 11-07-2011, 03:01 PM   #11
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I can't think of any one post that has changed me or changed my mind about something. Many posts though have opened my mind to viewing something in a different light. The biggest thing I have noticed different about myself since joining forums is awareness. Terms and acronyms I'd never heard of or never heard used in real life. How they might mean something entirely different online vs RT. Awareness of how differently folks interpret what we say online vs RT. Just the many different facets of awareness.
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Old 11-07-2011, 03:25 PM   #12
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I have not changed my views on core belief items like religion (mine only), or how I perceive good and bad, right and wrong. But....like several people have mentioned I look at things a different way, consider another's view of the world more seriously, am not so quick to judgement on an issue. There are those that cause me to pause and think...and I thank them for that opportunity to grow.
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Old 11-07-2011, 03:38 PM   #13
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Default Thank you for a brilliant thread

Betenoire: "I have no idea, honestly. I know that my opinions on a lot of things have changed over the years, but I can't nail down a thread or a person or a conversation that was the kicker. I do know that I've thread-stalked myself some over at the other site and I sometimes find myself thinking "did I really believe that? holy cats!"

This cracked me up, and isn't it something to read the palimpsest of your thoughts whether it's journal writing, poetry, fiction or posts? It's quite an experience to see how you change.

One specific example of change is when Apocalipitc and you, Miss Tick, got me rethinkng the term "American" as the exclusive province of US citizens, and other posts and posters have helped me form questions and shape my own experiences and feelings in ways that help me understand myself and my communities.
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Old 11-07-2011, 03:44 PM   #14
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Many from this community have enriched my thinking about a multitude of issues and subjects. I appreciate doors to other's experinces and thoughts being opened and this really matters to me. Like, Bet, I don't understand when disagreement gets personal and gets attached to future posts, but it happens.

I think I have had change in some attitudes, at least just better understanding of them via the site/community overall. Something that I have always liked as a member is that this is a place in which I can hear from people that just come from very different backgrounds than myself- if not for the site, I wouldn't have this opportunity and information to consider about things that matter- especially within the context of the entire range of the
B-F narrative.

Also, for me, being able to hear from differing age groups is important and I think, helps keep me more informed.

Have to add that the areas that have been most enlightening and given me the most to think about are the race related topics. Gender is a close second.

I know that my personal comfort level as a butch is directly related to participation here on the Planet as well as the old site. But, I know I came to the B-F dynamic (or at least my consciousness of it personally) much later in life than many.

LOL, so, it looks like my views and ideas have been altered! Thank you all!
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Old 11-07-2011, 04:05 PM   #15
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Absolutely it has. I have posted several times that I have been informed, educated and had my mind opened to gender issues in a way I never had prior to coming to the Planet.

What I have a difficult time with is, on occasion, it appears to me that someone may become angry with a particular post and it apears as though there are verbal attacks or flaming. I see no need for that. We all come from different places, with varied levels of understanding and I think we can disagree in a respectful manner without making it personal.

As always, this is my own personal opinion and perspective. I do feel it is important to come from that position, rather than generalize and present opinion as fact.
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Old 11-07-2011, 04:08 PM   #16
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Racial issues, Gender issues, how I think about size and body image, about the word Femme, about abuse, PTSD, mental illness, types of relationships, how incredibly grateful I am.....

I learn every time I interact with y'all.
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Old 11-07-2011, 04:41 PM   #17
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I think it has changed me a lot to be part of this community and when I was on the dash site. I would say that I have been educated on a lot of subjects that I wasn't really exposed to or understood very well when I was younger. The gender threads, racism threads, political threads, world issues threads, relationship/sex/BDSM threads, and the like have greatly expanded my knowledge base and helped me change some of my views, and develop new ones as well.

As I have gotten to know many of you in the threads that I frequent, I have grown fond of you folks even when I don't always agree with you, and even when I am sometimes frustrated and annoyed with you lol. But I see that people are complicated and that everyone has a story and life experiences that shape who they are and how they communicate and see the world. I find that enriching.
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Old 11-08-2011, 08:10 AM   #18
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Absolutely! Well, reading a thread actually. I'm not proud to admit this, but of all people, I used to have a pretty narrow view of what is/isn't trans and what should be required to be able to transition. I was part of a conversation that ended up moderated, and the whole thing made me stop and do some soul searching, and I feel so bad for what I said that may have hurt people. I do firmly believe that we ALL have the right (or should have the right) to do and BE who we want to without judgement from our peers, and without the government telling us who we are allowed to be or how we are allowed to identify - including imposing beurocratic hoops we have to jump through to be true to ourselves.
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Old 11-08-2011, 08:13 AM   #19
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Originally Posted by MsTinkerbelly View Post
I have not changed my views on core belief items like religion (mine only), or how I perceive good and bad, right and wrong. But....like several people have mentioned I look at things a different way, consider another's view of the world more seriously, am not so quick to judgement on an issue. There are those that cause me to pause and think...and I thank them for that opportunity to grow.

I feel the same way, Threads and the content gives us another POV to consider.
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Old 11-08-2011, 09:16 AM   #20
ruffryder
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I appreciate the passionate people in our community and I do appreciate everyone's beliefs. Of course I have been persuaded to change my mind on a topic or belief. I am one however not to go with the crowd or jump on the bandwagon. I think a lot of our beliefs come from what we were taught growing up and what we learn. I can definitely appreciate people who challenge that way of thinking and look outside the box they may have been put into as a child. I like to do research and gain insight on subjects I am interested in. I like facts. I also like opinions if they got some punch behind them and are well thought out and make sense. In that case I enjoy an argument all day. What I don't appreciate is people belittling others, acting like their way is the only way. People who turn others off just because they are stuck in their ways. Also, people who tell someone to shut up or go away since their opinions differ. That is disrespectful and obviously immature. I will interact with those that are respectful and want to know my opinion on a subject. I also don't like that just because someone may have a different opinion about something automatically they are hated or labeled and basically shouldn't have an opinion about anything since they don't agree with someone. I don't like personal attacks. I'd rather hear about the subject and why you think someone is wrong and you are right not only why they are wrong about their beliefs.

With all that being said, I have enjoyed learning here and I do keep an open mind coming here. I think that helps getting to know others and their beliefs. Thanks for the thread and thoughts.
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