How have you met the people you've been involved with romantically or sexually?

[Ginger]

I'm curious to know how people have met their partners, lovers, spouses or people they dated.

I'll go back like 20 years and answer the question for myself. I'm leaving out people I dated a little but didn't get involved with in any significant way.

Please start with the past and work toward the future, in your list.

• We were in graduate school together
• She used to come into the bookstore where I worked
• I met her on a gay and lesbian dating website that's defunct now; I can't even remember what it was called.
• I met him on a butch/femme website attached to the "dash" site
• She was introduced to me by her Ex, a femme I met on a Trans/Soffa listserv
• I met her on FABU East, Femmes and Butches East, a listserv.
• We met at the Butch Femme Society meetings at the LGBT Center in NYC
• I met her on Match.com.

As to "why" come up with such a list—it would be fun to discuss and hear people's opinions about how we meet our partners, but first I wanted to see the lists, if anyone is up for it.

Thanks,
Scout

[pajama]

I met him while shooting pool on campus.
I met her through a mutual gay friend that I met while working at the pizza parlor.
I met her through a f-buddy at a women's music event, we danced the night away.
I met her at a women's spiritual drumming circle.
He was my auto mechanics teacher.
I went back to the dancing girl in line three.
She was clever enough to "get" my encripted e-mail address in my match.com advertisement.
I was so drunk the first time we met at a Man Cave dedication party that I didn't remember her the next time we met and I was swept off my feet.
mmmmm I met him at Apocalipstic's house.
I stalked her online for YEARS, then we finally met at the first BFP Reunion.

Oh, and I just realized I went back 30 years, not 20. Sorry.

[Ginger]

Originally Posted by pajama

I met him while shooting pool on campus.
I met her through a mutual gay friend that I met while working at the pizza parlor.
I met her through a f-buddy at a women's music event, we danced the night away.
I met her at a women's spiritual drumming circle.
He was my auto mechanics teacher.
I went back to the dancing girl in line three.
She was clever enough to "get" my encripted e-mail address in my match.com advertisement.
I was so drunk the first time we met at a Man Cave dedication party that I didn't remember her the next time we met and I was swept off my feet.
mmmmm I met him at Apocalipstic's house.
I stalked her online for YEARS, then we finally met at the first BFP Reunion.

Oh, and I just realized I went back 30 years, not 20. Sorry.

Love your answers! And it's cool, however many years people go back.

[*Anya*]

My long-term ex and I met in NOW. She was president of the Whittier/SE LA chapter for one year and I was president of the same chapter, the following year. I had not really discovered butches until her. Then, I noticed NOW was chock-full of butches (especially at national conventions).

She was with a lover for a few years and I was with my first "real" GF. Both of us subsequently broke up with our partners ( having nothing to do with each other) and we wound up getting together and as most of you already know, we were together for 19-years.

I met my current GF on a lesbian dating site about 2-months ago.

I "liked" her picture with a comment: "You are a handsome woman with a great smile".

I had written in my profile, that my ideal date would be at an ocean-side restaurant, at sunset..." and she wrote me an email that simply said: "How about Saturday night?"

I had been dating a much younger butch from San Diego, at the time and knew I was never going to fall in love with her but enjoyed our relationship, knowing it was not going to go anywhere in the long-term. (I had also met her on a lesbian dating site but a different one).

I threw out my usual rule of meeting only for a cup of coffee on the first meeting, for the handsome butch with a great smile.

We had a great time on our first date at a romantic, oceanfront restaurant and she gave me a kiss good-night that left me weak-kneed.

We have been dating exclusively since then. She is funny, smart, quick-witted and bright.

She lives 20-25 minutes from me!

I am kind of crazy about her.

[clay]

I met her at our work place. I was promoted to Dayshift Head Nurse, and she was my replacement on second shift. We were together 5 years.
My beautiful wife of 15 years, I met on the old MSN website...W4W...chuckles...my very first ever time of being on a computer, much less a chat room....I lost her almost 4 years ago, to cancer.. I have only dated some since that time.....until.........
My current GF & I were friends online for several months........she has caught my heart & soul...

[Ginger]

I guess it's not surprising that, on a social website, a lot of the responses so far have included meeting people on social websites.

It seems like the further back you go, the more likely it's not going to be a social-website context for meeting.

Of course, this is a very small sampling, and skewed, like I said, because we're on a social website, answering the question.

I'm really interested to see more lists of how people met their significant others over the years.

Thank you, everyone who responded so far!

[Metro]

Relationsip history in a nutshell... interesting, fun, and thought provoking idea for a thread, Scout! I'll bite!

Met longer term relationships:

-- In college, met BF at social event.
-- After college, met BF at member holiday party specific to my profession.
-- After coming out, met first GF while walking my dog. Dogs are a great social lubricant, imho.
-- Introduced to GF at a bar thru a mutual friend.
-- Met GF while volunteering (ongoing basis) at a major LGBTQIP community organization.
-- Introduced to GF at birthday party of a gay guy friend.
-- Met GF on blind date thru a local online dating website; also via Match.com

I have dated several other women (some femme, some not) on a more casual basis, but these were very short term (3 months or less) liasons because they weren't a good mutual "fit" for one reason or another. Am currently single.

[Cody0166]

I had a couple short term bf’s and gf’s when I was young. But at 24 I met my sister’s friend at my mother’s funeral. She was 33 years my senior, so quite the age gap. But the age difference didn’t affect anything in a negative way and the relationship lasted 20 years. She is still a big part of my life. She is my family now, as all of my family has passed away.
I’ve now been involved with someone for the past 10 years who I met online. We have a blood covenant of marriage but also plan on having a civil marriage soon.

[txdoc]

-met him in college when I was 19, we recently reconnected, first thing he told me now is that he is gay
-met her at Rosh hashana dinner and danced the night away, first time I fell in love
-met him at college, was my best friend, we married and had two incredible kids, 17 years
-met her online, together 8 years
-met her online, together 1 year
-falling in love again

[grenade]

This is gonna make me have to dust off the ol' brain.

18- first love... I was a waitress at a steak house outside of Dallas. His mom was a waitress as well. I would charge him the senior citizen prices. He made me laugh. Fun times, we were both gemini's. He passed away a few years ago.

Still young and wild... met at a CB break. If you don't know what that is then Im not explaining other than, redneck chat line. We wreaked havoc. We're FB friends now. It freaks me out to look back on the what might have beens.

22...Kids father... He came into the 7-11 I then worked at. I thought he was a creeper. (I was right) I refused to go on a date with him. Months later we were hooked up on a blind date through mutual friends. Married cause I got knocked up before I saw through the lies. Still paying for my mistakes.

Cable guy. *nods* it really happens like that sometimes. Actually, this was developed through AOL chat. My first online experience. Lasted several years. Best friend's more than anything.

Ex- chat site.

Ex- chat site. Lived together several years. Cheated with a 19 year old. *still bitter*

And now.... met on dash, continued here... shacked up and feeling complete for the first time.

I may have left a few out here and there. lol

[Gráinne]

-Met him at a high school boys' gymnastic meet where we were scorekeepers for our respective teams. We were involved off and on for the rest of high school, but since we lived across town and neither of us drove, that was a lot of bus rides.

-Met him at a college dance. We gradually went to "just friends", and he then became my mother's accountant.

-Met him at a frat party. Together 5 years.

-Met him in a parking lot. Together 4 very long years.

-The father of my kids. I actually was friends with his mother first, and she fixed us up.

-Met her on a site where we were both admins. I count her as my first really powerful attraction to another woman, though we decided to be just friends (and we still are). Went to England to visit her, even though we wouldn't be together. She's been married to her partner for a year or so.

-Met her on gaydar, first falling in love, and all the physical part with, another woman. A relationship didn't work out but we're still close friends today. Ironically, she's also happily married to her partner. Everyone gets married after they date me .

Present day....crushing on Beaker .

[ruffryder]

ohhh gotta love the internet for dating. LOL

I've met people on chat sites, b-f sites, at work, through mutual friends at college, and most current here at bfp then in person when I moved close to her. <3

[laruss]

-My ex husband and father of my children was a friend of my cousin. He went through a lot to get my number after seeing me at my cousins house. We were together 15 years.
-During my marriage I met a woman in a group I belonged to, we were together almost a year, I was willing to leave my husband for her. She wasn't willing to be the reason.
-Met at a Pagan ritual, did the LDR thing for a year before I moved to be with him. I don't regret much in my life as I feel everything is a learning experience, but that was a waste of 4 years I will never get back. He turned into a stalker when I left and then he finally moved to Australia and got married.
-Met online, were together 2 years before he died in his sleep.
Finally decided it was time to be true to myself. Death will do that.
-Met through a mutual friend here on BFP, wasn't the right time for me. We are still friends and I am very grateful for that.
-Met here on BFP, she broke my heart.
-We are both on the executive for a local lesbian organization. We are both a bit damaged right now and taking it VERY slowly.

[Nat]

I personally am a virgin.

[PoeticSilence]

I met a dyke bartender at a gay bar and spent seven years trying to make that work.

I was dating a girl, and she introduced me to her friend, who it turned out would be a girl I would spend the next seven years with.

I met a girl through an online writers group at yahoo. She was so adorable and scatterbrained that I asked her to come to Nebraska and live with me. My first LDR and seven years of a very strong love. I don't have any regrets.

I met a girl through an online text-based RPG game and after two years of killing each other and being allies, we met in RL, and I knew right then she was someone I could live forever with. Seven and a half years and still going.

I've met women over the internet, in bars, through friends and by chance. I can't say one way has worked out better than another.

[Glenn]

My First: It all began when I was 18. We met when she auditioned for our rock and roll band. She had wicked long hot red hair/legs/eyes, hissed like a snake, cooked good eggs, soups and salads, and was a real good drummer too. We played around together for about seven years.

My In-Between: We met at a bus-stop, and regularly dated for about a year or more. She was sweet sixteen, and I was 25. Wth was I thinking?

My Last: We were innocently introduced at our local Lesbian Community Center (LCC). Together 35 years.

[Nic]

I met my wife at an AA meeting. We were married 21 years.

I met the woman I'm interested in at the moment at Pride in Northampton last May. It took 4 or 5 weeks before she agreed to go out with me. Since then, we've been on some casual dates and gone on a group camping trip, and spent a lot of non-date time together. Now if she'd just fall in love with me! LOL

[GraffitiBoi]

The majority of the people I have been involved with found me either online or at a show I used to perform in. I didn't realize until now that I have almost always been pursued, and not the one who has done the pursuing!

My ex fiance (the first of only two women I have ever loved) I saw at a drag show. I remember saying to a friend that I didn't care who she was, I wanted her. It was two years after I first saw her that I ever spoke to her. (I obviosuly will wait if the woman is worth it.) She wrote on a card that I wanted to take her out on a date. We were supposed to be a one night stand and ended up spending 5 mostly wonderful years together. We are very close friends now and she still means a lot to me in a non-romantic way.

The woman I currently love I met by accident online about 9 months ago when I was involved in an LDR. She had commented in an online forum about how cute my (at the time) girlfriend and I were, or something like that, and that's when she hit my radar. It may seem dumb, but something about her stuck in the back of my mind. I noticed her on and off for several months after that but only met her offline several months ago. Something about her clicked with me the first time I saw her and I knew I loved her shortly after that. It honestly has freaked me out and I am too scared to pursue my feelings since my track record this past year has not been good. LOL

[Contessa]

1.School
2.1980's brick and mortar video dating establishment
3.TGI Fridays after work having a drink with the girls.. Stranger comes over from the bar and buys drinks. Figured he was after one of the other luscious girls but noo..twas me.
4. Online in a chat room..O.D.G. - was lucky to get out with sanity. But the sex was hot.
5. Online chat room (you would think I'd have learned my lesson..but nahhh). Lasted mere months and the sex ..Well, can u say butch pillow princess???
6. Met her in my neighborhood walking my dog in sweats and NO makeup! lasted 6 yrs.


These are only my significant relationships. The rest we won't talk about.

[Cole]

I met my last ex at the coffee shop they work at.