Differently Abled (fly your freak flag high)

[SuperFemme]

I am differently abled. I have a head injury and damned cancer.

The things that led me to my parking placard are gifts rather than curses.

How do you find the gift in what others find a curse?

[Words]

My daughter, who is differently abled (I love that expression by the way and am going to adopt it forthwith; 'disabled' sounds so negative), still believes in Santa (she's now 22). Because she believes in Santa, I get to believe in him too

[SuperFemme]

I love Santa. I love that my brain is like swiss cheese; some parts are fantastics other parts are just holes of nothing. I love feeling like I am having new experiences all the time, even if it's for the 50th time.

I don't mind when people don't understand me because I see it as a chance to educate.

Words, your daughter is so blessed to have such a fantastic Mommy.

[Random]

I get to entertain my family...

They love trying to play *Guess what word mom/honey is trying to say*?

They really do chuckle when I start at the word TOASTER and work my way through every applience until I get to the one that I am talking about..

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by Ms Cyn

I get to entertain my family...

They love trying to play *Guess what word mom/honey is trying to say*?

They really do chuckle when I start at the word TOASTER and work my way through every applience until I get to the one that I am talking about..

While my family is playing this same game, I am playing the "Hmm, I wonder what she said? I'm pretty sure it's not pass the smashing pumpkins."

[Random]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

While my family is playing this same game, I am playing the "Hmm, I wonder what she said? I'm pretty sure it's not pass the smashing pumpkins."

That one is cute... I need to write down some of the things that I think people say...

It is highly amusing to watch their face when you repeat back what you think you heard them say...

It's sort of..

BLINK... *where the hell did you get that?*

[Words]

Thank you, that was sweet of you. I feel the same way about your kids.

Re. the Swiss cheese analogy, I definitely hear you on that one. My daughter can't read or write, nor would she be able tell you our phone number, yet she would be able to remind you of something you needed to do a month or so after your asking her to remind you and, since she taught herself to tell the time, - the professionals didn't think she'd be able to learn - at the time you'd asked her to remind you. Unfortunately, though, she is often judged by others, especially those meeting her for the first time, on what she can't do, not what she can do.

A classic example. We went to visit a new therapist because of her behavioural problems. As is usual with professionals she's never met before, she was doing the poor helpless me routine, sitting there in silence, eyes to the ground, refusing to interact at all. Result? The therapist stopped addressing her directly and started talking about her, rather than to her. Eventually, he asked some really stupid question, the mere asking of which implied to me - and clearly, to my daughter as well - that he'd obviously written her off as being way less able than she actually is. At which point, in true unpredictable fashion, she turned to B/both of U/us and asked, ''What the fuck kind of questions are these?'' (hey, she has a 17-year-old potty mouth brother), thereby voicing what W/we were wondering O/ourselves. Not that I condone her swearing, but boy, did she teach that therapist a lesson in not judging a book by its cover.

Anyway, enough of my daughter

Best,

Words

[SuperFemme]

Your daughter is a HERO. Kudos!

[Bit]

Being different rules my life, although I fought against that for decades.... but yes, I too have chronic illnesses that have changed what I am able to do.

I think the thing which surprises me the most is that having fibromyalgia evidently messes with your brain in the same way that taking some drugs does... I needed no drugs to "open up" my psychic abilities... but I have to say, if my ardent childhood desire to be psychic is responsible for my getting fibro, well, THAT took a nasty turn! *horrified laugh*

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by Bit

Being different rules my life, although I fought against that for decades.... but yes, I too have chronic illnesses that have changed what I am able to do.

I think the thing which surprises me the most is that having fibromyalgia evidently messes with your brain in the same way that taking some drugs does... I needed no drugs to "open up" my psychic abilities... but I have to say, if my ardent childhood desire to be psychic is responsible for my getting fibro, well, THAT took a nasty turn! *horrified laugh*

Interesting Bit. Very interesting. I wonder is being differenlty abled allows us to connect to others in a simpler more empathic way.

[WheelieStrong]

Originally Posted by Words

My daughter, who is differently abled (I love that expression by the way and am going to adopt it forthwith; 'disabled' sounds so negative), still believes in Santa (she's now 22). Because she believes in Santa, I get to believe in him too

i'm 30 and i know santa exists and i'm never going to say anything different even if i have to dress as Santa to make people beleive it!

[Andrew, Jr.]

I had to get a sticker for my car to go thru the tolls. It was so frustrating because I couldn't figure out what toll booth sold the stickers and what toll was for the EZ Pass thing. It took me 5 attempts to find the right toll. Talk about frustration. UGH! Then when I found the right tollbooth, the person was getting ready to leave for the day. I was her last customer. My nerves were just shot after that.

Then I had to deal with the cash. UGH!

Sometimes I ask people to explain things to me and they take it the wrong way. For some reason they think I am playing a game. I'm not. I am wired differently. I am not one for understanding concepts. I struggle with it. Then I get people who say things to me like they are happy to expose me to others. Expose me to others as what? Oh, as stupid, lazy, fat, what? I just get even more confused. It makes no sense to me. It is like telling me to go meet someone in another state at a certain time.

I don't know about other people, but telling time was a royal bitch. Thank God above for digital watches and clocks. The other kind are just nothing short of hell for me. Did anyone else have this problem?

[SuperFemme]

Andrew? When you ask for extra help do you preface that by saying "I'm disabled, I have a brain injury and I need a little extra assistance"? I have found that when I do this, people are usually more than willing to help. I have no problem coming out as differently-abled over and over again. It can be the difference between life and death sometime. Like when I get a new prescription? I need to be walked through the dosage instructions VERY carefully. Still, sometimes I make dangerous mistakes with my meds.

As for telling time? No worried, digital time is most everywhere...

[Andrew, Jr.]

Hi and Welcome Wheeliestrong,

I am glad you are here with us!

I know how you feel about your situation. I can so understand it. People are strange. I think if you don't fit into a typical sterotype or box, then you get a label as a trouble maker or a misfit. I have that label since childhood.

I never could keep up with other kids. Never. And nobody who was in a position to help me would help me. They just passed me along to let someone else deal with it. That is the public school system as I knew it to be.

Anyway, thanks for sharing your story with us.

Adele,

I never thought of coming out and asking for help. I will start to do that. It never crossed my mind. Thank you!

[Andrew, Jr.]

Hi Everyone,

I hope everybody is doing well today. I want to share some information here that will be somewhat of a shock to some & a joy to others. On May 26th I am having surgery for possible breast cancer. It seems I have a tumor in the shape of a banana that is going from an 8 o'clock position and ending up at a 2 o'clock position. It is hard, and has given me some side effects of cancer. My mother and grandmother both had breast cancer. I have a sister who died of skin cancer. And I have another sister who is in remission from ovarian cancer (8 years).

I am not too worried because I talked to Linus about this, and he gave me the best advice. He said one sentence to me, and it was the truth. He told me to rely on my faith. So I am.

I trust my surgeon, who is Yale trained. I have no doubt about it - I am going to be just fine. I know I am. I just ask for your prayers and positive thoughts sent my way.

Thanks.

Much love and peace,
Andrew, Dino, and Gang

[I'mOneToo]

As one who is still struggling to find the gift inside the curse, I say sincerely, "good for you" - that you have found it. That is the gift itself it seems.

*will keep searching*

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

I am differently abled. I have a head injury and damned cancer.

The things that led me to my parking placard are gifts rather than curses.

How do you find the gift in what others find a curse?

[Semantics]

Good thread, SuperFemme.

Words- it sounds like your daughter has many strengths and good for her for not letting that therapist dismiss her.


I live with four differently abled children. They all have Asperger's Syndrome, which is an an autism spectrum disorder that affects social interaction. They also all have Sensory Integration Disorder.

The oldest at 16 has it most severely. He isn't very verbal and makes very little eye contact. Despite having a high IQ, getting a 2200 on his SAT's, and acing college level courses like physics and calculus, he can't do simple social tasks like make a phone call or order food in a restaurant.

My 11 year old has a mild case, although he has the most trouble in school because he's very loud and annoys his peers and teachers. One issue with Asperger's is the inability to comprehend appropriate voice modulation.

I also have six year old twin girls, one has a mild case and the other is more severe. One of the twins has a lot of health issues due to her Sensory Integration Disorder because she has such strong texture and taste aversions. Her oral defensiveness has made feeding very difficult. She is small for her age and I have to bring her to the Children's hospital every other week for IV fluids and an iron infusion.

The combined occupational, feeding, speech and language, physical, and social skills therapies for my children add up to many hours per week.

They're different, they're quirky, but they're mine and I love them.

[WILDCAT]

Wonderful and thoughtful thread, SuperFemme!

After my injury, where/when my life was altered... I did realize the "gift" of/from it. It took A LONG time though, and I was quite ill for awhile.

One good thing, I had been at odds with my parents my whole growing up life for being queer and quite feisty about it! Once that accident happened, that all came to a screeching halt, from them. I was "alive". That was all that mattered to them!

Then, from that happening I was able to come back into this area and "be there" for my parents once they got up in years. We have long since become best friends. They became winter snowbirders for several years, (post retirement), and I was able to help them get to and from Arizona.

Imagine being able to say that you had the experience of going across country many times with your parents? (Well, might be normal for some, but I would have never guessed that!) And they were so grateful for the help. To me, that is a beautiful part of our "journey" together...

And Bit (MDC here) I did have a spiritual component [post injury] that happened to me. I am definitely what is known as a "sensitive". Many have experienced similar things from my type of injury, which was closed head (well, and spinal injury as well). If I told some folks some of these things, they simply would not believe me - or just be plain spooked! LOL!!

But, just being sensitive in general is a very wonderful thing. I've mostly done hospice volunteering (to "give back"), and I love it - difficult as it may seem. I feel like I was meant to be there/here in this capacity for folks. I am very strong this way (normally, I do have my exceptions). And it's been mostly friend's of who I grew up with, their parents and family members that I have tried to help out, be there for and with. It's like I took my world experience working and getting hurt then, and brought it home - to be able to share.

OK, enough for now!

PEACE AND LOVE TO ALL!

Wild

*Oh, I will say, that "my injury" expedited things such as OCD, being a reclusive, etc... I really haven't looked at that as being "differently abled", although I know it is. (I just haven't made a full direct connection to myself that way.) Some was "pre-morbid", I know. So, I have kept them separate, mostly. But, they are interconnected... and disabling. I have to constantly fight this.

[SuperFemme]

Thanks Jude! I'm wondering about the common theme of reclusiveness amongst us...

I cannot take large doses of people at a time. I lost the two of my five senses and cannot smell or taste. I have the hearing of a bat.

I get overwhelmed so easily now, and focused attention is difficult as is divided attention.

[atomiczombie]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

Thanks Jude! I'm wondering about the common theme of reclusiveness amongst us...

I cannot take large doses of people at a time. I lost the two of my five senses and cannot smell or taste. I have the hearing of a bat.

I get overwhelmed so easily now, and focused attention is difficult as is divided attention.

I can't stand loud noises, like being in a club or bar with LOUD music blaring. It makes my brain melt down. I don't like big crowds either. I feel overwhelmed and then I get anxious, then the tics show up, then the stammering and stuttering (did I mention that one earlier?). If it gets too bad, I end up running home and crying alone.

Wait, how is this a blessing?