Differently Abled (fly your freak flag high)

[SuperFemme]

I am differently abled. I have a head injury and damned cancer.

The things that led me to my parking placard are gifts rather than curses.

How do you find the gift in what others find a curse?

[Words]

My daughter, who is differently abled (I love that expression by the way and am going to adopt it forthwith; 'disabled' sounds so negative), still believes in Santa (she's now 22). Because she believes in Santa, I get to believe in him too

[SuperFemme]

I love Santa. I love that my brain is like swiss cheese; some parts are fantastics other parts are just holes of nothing. I love feeling like I am having new experiences all the time, even if it's for the 50th time.

I don't mind when people don't understand me because I see it as a chance to educate.

Words, your daughter is so blessed to have such a fantastic Mommy.

[Random]

I get to entertain my family...

They love trying to play *Guess what word mom/honey is trying to say*?

They really do chuckle when I start at the word TOASTER and work my way through every applience until I get to the one that I am talking about..

[Words]

Thank you, that was sweet of you. I feel the same way about your kids.

Re. the Swiss cheese analogy, I definitely hear you on that one. My daughter can't read or write, nor would she be able tell you our phone number, yet she would be able to remind you of something you needed to do a month or so after your asking her to remind you and, since she taught herself to tell the time, - the professionals didn't think she'd be able to learn - at the time you'd asked her to remind you. Unfortunately, though, she is often judged by others, especially those meeting her for the first time, on what she can't do, not what she can do.

A classic example. We went to visit a new therapist because of her behavioural problems. As is usual with professionals she's never met before, she was doing the poor helpless me routine, sitting there in silence, eyes to the ground, refusing to interact at all. Result? The therapist stopped addressing her directly and started talking about her, rather than to her. Eventually, he asked some really stupid question, the mere asking of which implied to me - and clearly, to my daughter as well - that he'd obviously written her off as being way less able than she actually is. At which point, in true unpredictable fashion, she turned to B/both of U/us and asked, ''What the fuck kind of questions are these?'' (hey, she has a 17-year-old potty mouth brother), thereby voicing what W/we were wondering O/ourselves. Not that I condone her swearing, but boy, did she teach that therapist a lesson in not judging a book by its cover.

Anyway, enough of my daughter

Best,

Words

[SuperFemme]

Your daughter is a HERO. Kudos!

[Bit]

Being different rules my life, although I fought against that for decades.... but yes, I too have chronic illnesses that have changed what I am able to do.

I think the thing which surprises me the most is that having fibromyalgia evidently messes with your brain in the same way that taking some drugs does... I needed no drugs to "open up" my psychic abilities... but I have to say, if my ardent childhood desire to be psychic is responsible for my getting fibro, well, THAT took a nasty turn! *horrified laugh*

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by Ms Cyn

I get to entertain my family...

They love trying to play *Guess what word mom/honey is trying to say*?

They really do chuckle when I start at the word TOASTER and work my way through every applience until I get to the one that I am talking about..

While my family is playing this same game, I am playing the "Hmm, I wonder what she said? I'm pretty sure it's not pass the smashing pumpkins."

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by Bit

Being different rules my life, although I fought against that for decades.... but yes, I too have chronic illnesses that have changed what I am able to do.

I think the thing which surprises me the most is that having fibromyalgia evidently messes with your brain in the same way that taking some drugs does... I needed no drugs to "open up" my psychic abilities... but I have to say, if my ardent childhood desire to be psychic is responsible for my getting fibro, well, THAT took a nasty turn! *horrified laugh*

Interesting Bit. Very interesting. I wonder is being differenlty abled allows us to connect to others in a simpler more empathic way.

[Random]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

While my family is playing this same game, I am playing the "Hmm, I wonder what she said? I'm pretty sure it's not pass the smashing pumpkins."

That one is cute... I need to write down some of the things that I think people say...

It is highly amusing to watch their face when you repeat back what you think you heard them say...

It's sort of..

BLINK... *where the hell did you get that?*

[atomiczombie]

*raises his hand*

I have a whole long list of labels for what is "different" about me. A.D.D., alcoholic-addict (recovering 23 years), bipolar, panic disorder, learning disability (spacial relationships- somehow that messes up my ability with math), clinical depression, agoraphobia, facial and body tics (no, not ticks!) germ-phobia, yak yak yak....

Yeah, I'm special.

*hug* for all my fellow freaks.

[I'mOneToo]

As one who is still struggling to find the gift inside the curse, I say sincerely, "good for you" - that you have found it. That is the gift itself it seems.

*will keep searching*

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

I am differently abled. I have a head injury and damned cancer.

The things that led me to my parking placard are gifts rather than curses.

How do you find the gift in what others find a curse?

[Semantics]

Good thread, SuperFemme.

Words- it sounds like your daughter has many strengths and good for her for not letting that therapist dismiss her.


I live with four differently abled children. They all have Asperger's Syndrome, which is an an autism spectrum disorder that affects social interaction. They also all have Sensory Integration Disorder.

The oldest at 16 has it most severely. He isn't very verbal and makes very little eye contact. Despite having a high IQ, getting a 2200 on his SAT's, and acing college level courses like physics and calculus, he can't do simple social tasks like make a phone call or order food in a restaurant.

My 11 year old has a mild case, although he has the most trouble in school because he's very loud and annoys his peers and teachers. One issue with Asperger's is the inability to comprehend appropriate voice modulation.

I also have six year old twin girls, one has a mild case and the other is more severe. One of the twins has a lot of health issues due to her Sensory Integration Disorder because she has such strong texture and taste aversions. Her oral defensiveness has made feeding very difficult. She is small for her age and I have to bring her to the Children's hospital every other week for IV fluids and an iron infusion.

The combined occupational, feeding, speech and language, physical, and social skills therapies for my children add up to many hours per week.

They're different, they're quirky, but they're mine and I love them.

[Semantics]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

How do you find the gift in what others find a curse?

Every other week I spend all say at the Children's hospital in the oncology/ hematology ward with my six year old while she has her iron infusion. It's a slow drip and takes about 6 hours.

She's usually the only one with hair because all of the other children are there getting chemotherapy.

My kid may never get jokes. She may never stop toe-walking. She may have to wear peltor ear protectors to the movies into adulthood because she's terrified of loud sounds. She may grow up to work in a cubicle.

But she will grow up.

[WILDCAT]

Wonderful and thoughtful thread, SuperFemme!

After my injury, where/when my life was altered... I did realize the "gift" of/from it. It took A LONG time though, and I was quite ill for awhile.

One good thing, I had been at odds with my parents my whole growing up life for being queer and quite feisty about it! Once that accident happened, that all came to a screeching halt, from them. I was "alive". That was all that mattered to them!

Then, from that happening I was able to come back into this area and "be there" for my parents once they got up in years. We have long since become best friends. They became winter snowbirders for several years, (post retirement), and I was able to help them get to and from Arizona.

Imagine being able to say that you had the experience of going across country many times with your parents? (Well, might be normal for some, but I would have never guessed that!) And they were so grateful for the help. To me, that is a beautiful part of our "journey" together...

And Bit (MDC here) I did have a spiritual component [post injury] that happened to me. I am definitely what is known as a "sensitive". Many have experienced similar things from my type of injury, which was closed head (well, and spinal injury as well). If I told some folks some of these things, they simply would not believe me - or just be plain spooked! LOL!!

But, just being sensitive in general is a very wonderful thing. I've mostly done hospice volunteering (to "give back"), and I love it - difficult as it may seem. I feel like I was meant to be there/here in this capacity for folks. I am very strong this way (normally, I do have my exceptions). And it's been mostly friend's of who I grew up with, their parents and family members that I have tried to help out, be there for and with. It's like I took my world experience working and getting hurt then, and brought it home - to be able to share.

OK, enough for now!

PEACE AND LOVE TO ALL!

Wild

*Oh, I will say, that "my injury" expedited things such as OCD, being a reclusive, etc... I really haven't looked at that as being "differently abled", although I know it is. (I just haven't made a full direct connection to myself that way.) Some was "pre-morbid", I know. So, I have kept them separate, mostly. But, they are interconnected... and disabling. I have to constantly fight this.

[SuperFemme]

Thanks Jude! I'm wondering about the common theme of reclusiveness amongst us...

I cannot take large doses of people at a time. I lost the two of my five senses and cannot smell or taste. I have the hearing of a bat.

I get overwhelmed so easily now, and focused attention is difficult as is divided attention.

[atomiczombie]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

Thanks Jude! I'm wondering about the common theme of reclusiveness amongst us...

I cannot take large doses of people at a time. I lost the two of my five senses and cannot smell or taste. I have the hearing of a bat.

I get overwhelmed so easily now, and focused attention is difficult as is divided attention.

I can't stand loud noises, like being in a club or bar with LOUD music blaring. It makes my brain melt down. I don't like big crowds either. I feel overwhelmed and then I get anxious, then the tics show up, then the stammering and stuttering (did I mention that one earlier?). If it gets too bad, I end up running home and crying alone.

Wait, how is this a blessing?

[WILDCAT]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

Thanks Jude! I'm wondering about the common theme of reclusiveness amongst us...

I cannot take large doses of people at a time. I lost the two of my five senses and cannot smell or taste. I have the hearing of a bat.

I get overwhelmed so easily now, and focused attention is difficult as is divided attention.

I find it harder and harder to get out among "people". Large groups! AUGHHHH!!!!!!! Shopping at Wal-Mart?!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!! Company here at home, no - not right now, please. (Although I am grateful for whoever might care, I simply do not/cannot ask for help anyway.)

I like my attention right now to be for the few I REALLY, really care about, and that is FINE with/by me! That's what I got! I simply do the best I can Super. And, I am going to be in control the best I can, by my choices - when/while I have that choice. (i.e. Why would I invite an anyone into my home when I'm not comfortable with it, or I'm not comfortable with them right now, OR... why would I go anywhere where I don't feel comfortable?) Immediate family is where I am at! And that is a stretch at times, what consitutes "family" for me. Honestly.

Our world does become smaller in a sense. But, I was wondering lately, IF the internet is more of a liability for me, or as asset (?) QUEER-WISE, it is a good thing probably - for where I live, isolated from ANY "sense" of the word/world community, as it applies to me.

I don't want to become too complacent with that however, but... I LIKE IT. (I'm also grateful that I traveled A LOT at one time, but honestly, I am missing that right now. Bereaving, for my gypsy blood...) On one hand it's good that I am fine with being alone... on another " I am a lover, nester, family person", etc... sometimes I feel like I am walking a thin line here. I have always said, that "if I jump off the path now and then throughout life, FINE! AS LONG AS I CAN SEE THE PATH, I will be OK - if and when I need to get back on. Well, right this second I'm wondering... do I really still see that path? Or am I just remembering that I had this "philosophy" (about "visualizing a path)? Hmmmmm... (?)

I am really sorry to hear about your "loss of senses". That REALLY SUCKS!!
___

I have another point I want to bring to this topic, but it's not fitting quite right here and now I don't think.

HUGS,
ME

[FeminineAllure]

I am Differently Abled as well.
I have Bipolar and Fibromyalgia to name a few challanges. I just try to never give up on myself and find things that keep me motivated and going. Basically giving to others in many ways.
I am an advocate, proactive, love to volunteer especially with Differently Abled cats who have Feline Lukemia and/or AIDS. or special needs.
I use every opportunity I can to educate people on the myths and the truths of mental illness. It is amazing to me the misconceptions some people have regaurding Bipolar.

Flying my freak flag high

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by Semantics

Every other week I spend all say at the Children's hospital in the oncology/ hematology ward with my six year old while she has her iron infusion. It's a slow drip and takes about 6 hours.

She's usually the only one with hair because all of the other children are there getting chemotherapy.

My kid may never get jokes. She may never stop toe-walking. She may have to wear peltor ear protectors to the movies into adulthood because she's terrified of loud sounds. She may grow up to work in a cubicle.

But she will grow up.

Semantics, you are one HELLUVA parent...I've sat in the oncology ward getting chemo and my absolute favorite people are the children. They are so honest and open it moves me to tears. I am humbled every time.

What are peltor ear protectors? I literally had a helmet for some months as a piece of my skull was left off due to swelling. I woke from a coma paralyzed on my right side and suffered from seizures almost every day.

Today, when I get stressed I have focal seizures which my beloved can always sense coming on, and if they progress into a grand-mal hy holds me and whispers me through it. Of course I come to and deny it happened. Ha!

The understanding and support of even ONE person can change the course of a different-ability IMHO.