Away with the rich, to home with the poor? - Page 2

ruffryder · 09-12-2011, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chromeplatedbutch

I have my own trucking business.... I drive. I am not in debt with anything. None of my equipment isnt paid off. So, if I were to sell, I'd get probably $25,000 at the most...being I've put probably $50,000 into it since 2007. Ive thought about hiring someone to drive for me, but I've been thru that once and it was a disaster. I had 4 trucks, sold 3 now I'm down to just this one. But when I put drivers in trucks, it was always somethinng. 4am phone call, " Im stuck in the ditch, need a tow truck. ($450 at least)" or I just ran over a nail and blew a tire ($400 for one tire). If you get a good driver, you're lucky. I just haven't found one yet. I like what I do. I like the $$$ I make. But like everyone has said, if I can save the $$$ that I make now and invest it, I can retire early. If I get the lower paying job and make the lower end, I cant save as much BUT I also wont have as many expenses. License plates are $1550 a year, repairs are outrageous, traffic is HORRIBLE. But by the end of the week, I'm proud to be 29 years old and have my own business. I have a great company that backs me 100%. that I haul freight for. I paid my truck off last year....This year we went on Vacation for the first time in 7 years...and it felt so GREAT to be able to do that.

We could live on $750 a week with no problem. I'd just like to take this oppurtunity that I've been given to make the best out of it. I also get to go visit my grandmother who raised me anytime I want who lives 800 miles away in DALLAS.

I went to 3 years of college at WKU for Nursing/criminology. If I could save up money NOW, maybe in a few years I can finish my college and do what Ive always wanted to do.

I could go on and on but I dont wanna bore everyone LOL

Thanks for posting this so that we can further understand. It's not easy to share personal information, let alone finances with others (strangers).. hopefully we aren't strangers as we are all here as a community willing to help and offer advice from our own experiences, etc. So thank you. I respect you for that and commend you for having your own business and making it work to the best of your ability and having a relationship with how young you are and reaching out to figure out the best possible situation for you and your loved ones and your future.

That being said, I think at some point you have to get deep into the business or let it go. You may love it now and the money but at some point you will be tired of the day in and day out routine and wish you would have spent more time with your family. My suggestion is try to find a partner again, give it some time a year to find someone you can trust and someone who sees the business as their own and willing to make it work the way you have. I truly believe you can find this person and can be a rewarding experience allowing you time away for your family, trusting everything will be taken care of.

If it was me, that's what I would do. I would keep the business, getting away from it slowly but surely and starting to do the things I love more: family time, school, other opportunities.

Good luck!

DapperButch · 09-12-2011, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chromeplatedbutch

I have my own trucking business.... I drive. I am not in debt with anything. None of my equipment isnt paid off. So, if I were to sell, I'd get probably $25,000 at the most...being I've put probably $50,000 into it since 2007. Ive thought about hiring someone to drive for me, but I've been thru that once and it was a disaster. I had 4 trucks, sold 3 now I'm down to just this one. But when I put drivers in trucks, it was always somethinng. 4am phone call, " Im stuck in the ditch, need a tow truck. ($450 at least)" or I just ran over a nail and blew a tire ($400 for one tire). If you get a good driver, you're lucky. I just haven't found one yet. I like what I do. I like the $$$ I make. But like everyone has said, if I can save the $$$ that I make now and invest it, I can retire early. If I get the lower paying job and make the lower end, I cant save as much BUT I also wont have as many expenses. License plates are $1550 a year, repairs are outrageous, traffic is HORRIBLE. But by the end of the week, I'm proud to be 29 years old and have my own business. I have a great company that backs me 100%. that I haul freight for. I paid my truck off last year....This year we went on Vacation for the first time in 7 years...and it felt so GREAT to be able to do that.

We could live on $750 a week with no problem. I'd just like to take this oppurtunity that I've been given to make the best out of it. I also get to go visit my grandmother who raised me anytime I want who lives 800 miles away in DALLAS.

I went to 3 years of college at WKU for Nursing/criminology. If I could save up money NOW, maybe in a few years I can finish my college and do what Ive always wanted to do.

I could go on and on but I dont wanna bore everyone LOL

You're not boring us. Maybe let your partner see how much you love it? I can hear the passion in your voice as I read what you write.

Maybe a compromise of you working only 4 days a week (not sure if you can do that with the company you haul freight for)?

Side note, I am wondering if part of the reason your partner wants you home more is to help with her son? Perhaps she is overwhelmed? Maybe if you discuss with her ways so that she is less overwhelmed, her feelings of need for you to be home will be lessened?

betenoire · 09-12-2011, 04:12 PM

Honestly, I would keep doing what you are doing. My father drove long distance for YEARS when I was a child and that alone is what took my parents from being people who could barely feed themselves and pay their rent - to being people who owned their own house (and recently purchased a second house up north that they will move to when they retire)

You have to think of the long term. You're currently in a position where you know you will be able to retire early - that's AMAZING!

And you know what else? Distance really can make the heart grow fonder. My parents were always so happy to see each other whenever my dad got back that my mom says their relationship felt new and exciting for much longer than most people's relationships do.

If she's feeling pressure from not having help with her kid while you're away, think of different ways to get the pressure off of her. When I was little I used to go with my dad all over North America - sometimes we'd be gone for up to two weeks at a time. And I know that helped my mom a lot, especially when my sister was still a baby. My dad made it fun for me, too. We'd stop at every shitty roadside attraction from Toronto to Arkansas and back. He let me play with the CB radio while he drove (although I guess your girlfriend's kid is too old to get a kick out of that). When I was small I probably ate at nearly every truck stop in North America, and I gotta tell you those are some of the best memories I've got of my childhood.

Maybe during the summer or spring break or whatever your girlfriend's kid could go with you once in a while to take some of the pressure off of her. And if your relationship is going to be any sort of a permanent fixture in your life the bonding opportunity you two would have on the road would be priceless.

Chromeplatedbutch · 09-12-2011, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DapperButch

You're not boring us. Maybe let your partner see how much you love it? I can hear the passion in your voice as I read what you write.

Maybe a compromise of you working only 4 days a week (not sure if you can do that with the company you haul freight for)?

Side note, I am wondering if part of the reason your partner wants you home more is to help with her son? Perhaps she is overwhelmed? Maybe if you discuss with her ways so that she is less overwhelmed, her feelings of need for you to be home will be lessened?

Oh I do love it. I emailed my scheduler and asked if I could compromise and be home more. Awaiting response from her. Everytime I come home, he asks me not to leave. He has a strong bond with me, as I'm the only one that's ever really cared about him. His dad and stepmom treated him poorly, as they had 5 other kids. I love him too. I'm kinda like the "dad" he never had. We have a lot of fun together. Her daughter is staying with us for a month until she recovers 100% from the neck surgery she had this morning. That way I don't have to take the whole month off. Thanks for your input I feel better already.

Chromeplatedbutch · 09-12-2011, 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by betenoire

Honestly, I would keep doing what you are doing. My father drove long distance for YEARS when I was a child and that alone is what took my parents from being people who could barely feed themselves and pay their rent - to being people who owned their own house (and recently purchased a second house up north that they will move to when they retire)

You have to think of the long term. You're currently in a position where you know you will be able to retire early - that's AMAZING!

And you know what else? Distance really can make the heart grow fonder. My parents were always so happy to see each other whenever my dad got back that my mom says their relationship felt new and exciting for much longer than most people's relationships do.

If she's feeling pressure from not having help with her kid while you're away, think of different ways to get the pressure off of her. When I was little I used to go with my dad all over North America - sometimes we'd be gone for up to two weeks at a time. And I know that helped my mom a lot, especially when my sister was still a baby. My dad made it fun for me, too. We'd stop at every shitty roadside attraction from Toronto to Arkansas and back. He let me play with the CB radio while he drove (although I guess your girlfriend's kid is too old to get a kick out of that). When I was small I probably ate at nearly every truck stop in North America, and I gotta tell you those are some of the best memories I've got of my childhood.

Maybe during the summer or spring break or whatever your girlfriend's kid could go with you once in a while to take some of the pressure off of her. And if your relationship is going to be any sort of a permanent fixture in your life the bonding opportunity you two would have on the road would be priceless.

She rode with me in the truck for about 4 years. We had a great time together. We would unload the trailers together and make extra money doing it. We had some amazing experiences together that's for sure. Getting stuck in snowstorms, hunkering down with bad weather, going to the beach a LOT...even seeing her family...It was hard at first with the truck payment and working for a really TERRIBLE company, but now it's paid off and the company I haul for is really AWESOME. They are a great bunch of people and I wouldn't ask for more understanding people. I have taken the kids for rides before...they would play with the CB, LOL...fun times.....Thanks for sharing your experiences.....

Chromeplatedbutch · 09-12-2011, 06:29 PM

I've been alone with no one to talk to for years, and a friend introduced me to this sight the other day...I'm SO thankful..I've needed this for SO long.

citybutch · 09-12-2011, 07:27 PM

Questions for ME come up like...

~Do you have a retirement plan? Can you grow one on $750 a week and meet your retirement goals (or any other goals for that matter)
~What's your liquidity?
~How long have you two been together?
~Is a decision at this young age going to be regrettable when you are older?
~Are you doing what you love?
~Etc Etc Etc.....

I am a lot older than you are... and have had a lot of GF's who wanted me to do things... to help them feel better about themselves.

I am married to someone now... who wants me to do things that make me feel better about myself... (and vice versa). I serve on three Boards, several committees, being asked to serve on a fourth, own my own business, am a community activist, have many friends who I spend time with (both with my wife and without)... My life is FULL... and I don't see my wife enough. But I also know we would be miserable if she asked me to be anything other than what I am... and if I asked her to be anything other than what she is... SHE, BTW, has a full time job as a Family Nurse Practitioner, teaches young RN's on the side, is studying for her doctoral degree, serves on some Board committee's, and is training for a half marathon... We REALLY don't see each other as much as we want to... and we are HAPPY... because we are both pursuing what we love with the full support and encouragement of the other....

Just another way to look at it...

DapperButch · 09-12-2011, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chromeplatedbutch

I've been alone with no one to talk to for years, and a friend introduced me to this sight the other day...I'm SO thankful..I've needed this for SO long.

morningstar?

betenoire · 09-12-2011, 08:00 PM

I'm kinda jealous. Sometimes I think I should have started driving.

DapperButch · 09-12-2011, 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by betenoire

I'm kinda jealous. Sometimes I think I should have started driving.

Nah. People would piss you off too much.

Oh, wait, that's me.

betenoire · 09-12-2011, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DapperButch

Nah. People would piss you off too much.

Oh, wait, that's me.

Naw, I'm a pretty relaxed driver.

Or at least I was until I sold my car and my DL expired (and was expired for YEARS before I realised it was)

Now I'm not allowed to drive anything other than people. Crazy.

Chromeplatedbutch · 09-12-2011, 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DapperButch

morningstar?

Morningstar and Kat FL

citybutch · 09-12-2011, 08:52 PM

*hugs*

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chromeplatedbutch

Morningstar and Kat FL

Chromeplatedbutch · 09-12-2011, 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by betenoire

I'm kinda jealous. Sometimes I think I should have started driving.

It's fun until someone gets hurt LOL

betenoire · 09-12-2011, 09:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chromeplatedbutch

It's fun until someone gets hurt LOL

My dad actually rolled his truck in winnipeg one winter. That's why he doesn't drive any more, he fucked up his back pretty bad and can't take the "bouncing" any more.

So yeah. Fun until someone gets hurt.

BullDog · 09-12-2011, 11:02 PM

Hey Chrome, thanks for sharing your story. I can see why it would be hard to replace you in your business, but maybe you can work on getting more flexible hours and/or work on finding someone you trust to share part of the driving so you can spend more time at home. Anyway, best wishes to you, congrats on your accomplishments and welcome to BFP.

Soft*Silver · 09-12-2011, 11:27 PM

omg, you are 29 and young enuf to sit at home and give the girl a few years. Your truck isnt going to disappear. Do what you want to do with your girl, then go back to OTR driving again if you want. Jeez, I was thinking you were in your 40s and strapped in because of age and all the demands that go with that.

Most people are still trying to find love or a career at your age. You have both. Please yourself and indulge in some recreational years. Life wont go away, and you can make money later on...

Starbuck · 09-12-2011, 11:48 PM

Chrome,

First of all, welcome to the Planet. I hope you are finding some useful information here. I tend to agree with Julie in that you need to complete a written budget of all the money coming in and all the money going out...making sure to include EVERY dime spent, say for a month. You can create a budget beginning with a starting income of what you make now and another budget of $750 a week to compare. Keep a running tally of all bills, shopping, eating out, savings, etc. See what the difference looks like on paper.

You don't want to compromise your savings. Suzy Orman, a well known financial advisor, and others, suggests a three months worth of income saved up in case of emergency. This particular savings is separate from any other savings account that you might have because you don't touch it unless you need it for an emergency like a lost job. I hope this helps.

Chromeplatedbutch · 09-13-2011, 08:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by softness

omg, you are 29 and young enuf to sit at home and give the girl a few years. Your truck isnt going to disappear. Do what you want to do with your girl, then go back to OTR driving again if you want. Jeez, I was thinking you were in your 40s and strapped in because of age and all the demands that go with that.

Most people are still trying to find love or a career at your age. You have both. Please yourself and indulge in some recreational years. Life wont go away, and you can make money later on...

Yeah I started out young...that's how I'm where I am now...lol

DomnNC · 09-13-2011, 08:24 AM

I saw where you mentioned about going back to college. Now that there is a child in the picture have you given any thought to their continuing education and how that's going to be paid for? College sure isn't cheap these days. Are you going to be contributing to his/her college fund? Is his/her mother going to be solely responsible for that? That has to be figured into the equation as well. Also, being the child is 13 and will be going into high school (if not already there), what if he/she wants to participate in sports, in some kind of clubs, that's all expense that needs to be figured into the equation as well. You now have the added expense of clothes for the child, food, your household utility bills will be rising with a 3rd person, etcetcetc. I wouldn't cut my hours or income until the mother is gainfully employed as well and contributing to household funds, college funds, etcetcetc. In this economy it may take her a while to find a job that will allow her to contribute in a meaningful way. Just don't cut off your nose to spite your face as they say.

09-12-2011, 04:12 PM	#23
betenoire Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Satan in a Sunday Hat Preferred Pronoun?: Maow Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: The Chemical Valley Posts: 4,086 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,312 Thanked 8,742 Times in 2,566 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Honestly, I would keep doing what you are doing. My father drove long distance for YEARS when I was a child and that alone is what took my parents from being people who could barely feed themselves and pay their rent - to being people who owned their own house (and recently purchased a second house up north that they will move to when they retire) You have to think of the long term. You're currently in a position where you know you will be able to retire early - that's AMAZING! And you know what else? Distance really can make the heart grow fonder. My parents were always so happy to see each other whenever my dad got back that my mom says their relationship felt new and exciting for much longer than most people's relationships do. If she's feeling pressure from not having help with her kid while you're away, think of different ways to get the pressure off of her. When I was little I used to go with my dad all over North America - sometimes we'd be gone for up to two weeks at a time. And I know that helped my mom a lot, especially when my sister was still a baby. My dad made it fun for me, too. We'd stop at every shitty roadside attraction from Toronto to Arkansas and back. He let me play with the CB radio while he drove (although I guess your girlfriend's kid is too old to get a kick out of that). When I was small I probably ate at nearly every truck stop in North America, and I gotta tell you those are some of the best memories I've got of my childhood. Maybe during the summer or spring break or whatever your girlfriend's kid could go with you once in a while to take some of the pressure off of her. And if your relationship is going to be any sort of a permanent fixture in your life the bonding opportunity you two would have on the road would be priceless. __________________ bête noire \bet-NWAHR\, noun: One that is particularly disliked or that is to be avoided.

09-12-2011, 07:27 PM	#27
citybutch Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: I answer to "hey you" (either works for me!) Relationship Status: 19 years together- Very Married for 10 years Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: San Diego Posts: 556 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 835 Thanked 1,196 Times in 355 Posts Rep Power: 6220116	Questions for ME come up like... ~Do you have a retirement plan? Can you grow one on $750 a week and meet your retirement goals (or any other goals for that matter) ~What's your liquidity? ~How long have you two been together? ~Is a decision at this young age going to be regrettable when you are older? ~Are you doing what you love? ~Etc Etc Etc..... I am a lot older than you are... and have had a lot of GF's who wanted me to do things... to help them feel better about themselves. I am married to someone now... who wants me to do things that make me feel better about myself... (and vice versa). I serve on three Boards, several committees, being asked to serve on a fourth, own my own business, am a community activist, have many friends who I spend time with (both with my wife and without)... My life is FULL... and I don't see my wife enough. But I also know we would be miserable if she asked me to be anything other than what I am... and if I asked her to be anything other than what she is... SHE, BTW, has a full time job as a Family Nurse Practitioner, teaches young RN's on the side, is studying for her doctoral degree, serves on some Board committee's, and is training for a half marathon... We REALLY don't see each other as much as we want to... and we are HAPPY... because we are both pursuing what we love with the full support and encouragement of the other.... Just another way to look at it... __________________ Take care of your body, take care of your health... You never know when the walls cave in and it all changes for good.

09-12-2011, 08:00 PM	#29
betenoire Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Satan in a Sunday Hat Preferred Pronoun?: Maow Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: The Chemical Valley Posts: 4,086 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,312 Thanked 8,742 Times in 2,566 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	I'm kinda jealous. Sometimes I think I should have started driving. __________________ bête noire \bet-NWAHR\, noun: One that is particularly disliked or that is to be avoided.

09-12-2011, 11:02 PM	#36
BullDog Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In A Healing Place Posts: 5,371 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,160 Thanked 22,783 Times in 4,470 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Hey Chrome, thanks for sharing your story. I can see why it would be hard to replace you in your business, but maybe you can work on getting more flexible hours and/or work on finding someone you trust to share part of the driving so you can spend more time at home. Anyway, best wishes to you, congrats on your accomplishments and welcome to BFP. __________________ Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. - Rainer Maria Rilke

09-12-2011, 11:27 PM	#37
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,502 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,428 Thanked 15,619 Times in 3,976 Posts Rep Power*: 21474856	omg, you are 29 and young enuf to sit at home and give the girl a few years. Your truck isnt going to disappear. Do what you want to do with your girl, then go back to OTR driving again if you want. Jeez, I was thinking you were in your 40s and strapped in because of age and all the demands that go with that. Most people are still trying to find love or a career at your age. You have both. Please yourself and indulge in some recreational years. Life wont go away, and you can make money later on... __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

09-12-2011, 06:29 PM	#26
Chromeplatedbutch Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: SHE Relationship Status: common law marriage? Lol Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Kentucky Posts: 19 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 33 Thanked 35 Times in 11 Posts Rep Power: 696698	I've been alone with no one to talk to for years, and a friend introduced me to this sight the other day...I'm SO thankful..I've needed this for SO long.

09-12-2011, 11:48 PM	#38
Starbuck Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Soft Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Oklahoma City Posts: 2,436 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,378 Thanked 2,148 Times in 756 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Budget time Chrome, First of all, welcome to the Planet. I hope you are finding some useful information here. I tend to agree with Julie in that you need to complete a written budget of all the money coming in and all the money going out...making sure to include EVERY dime spent, say for a month. You can create a budget beginning with a starting income of what you make now and another budget of $750 a week to compare. Keep a running tally of all bills, shopping, eating out, savings, etc. See what the difference looks like on paper. You don't want to compromise your savings. Suzy Orman, a well known financial advisor, and others, suggests a three months worth of income saved up in case of emergency. This particular savings is separate from any other savings account that you might have because you don't touch it unless you need it for an emergency like a lost job. I hope this helps. __________________ To forgive is to set the prisoner free, And then discover the prisoner was you.

09-13-2011, 08:24 AM	#40
DomnNC Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Male Preferred Pronoun?: He/Him Relationship Status: Widow Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Permanently Banned 11/15/2011 Posts: 1,223 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,618 Thanked 2,582 Times in 837 Posts Rep Power: 0	I saw where you mentioned about going back to college. Now that there is a child in the picture have you given any thought to their continuing education and how that's going to be paid for? College sure isn't cheap these days. Are you going to be contributing to his/her college fund? Is his/her mother going to be solely responsible for that? That has to be figured into the equation as well. Also, being the child is 13 and will be going into high school (if not already there), what if he/she wants to participate in sports, in some kind of clubs, that's all expense that needs to be figured into the equation as well. You now have the added expense of clothes for the child, food, your household utility bills will be rising with a 3rd person, etcetcetc. I wouldn't cut my hours or income until the mother is gainfully employed as well and contributing to household funds, college funds, etcetcetc. In this economy it may take her a while to find a job that will allow her to contribute in a meaningful way. Just don't cut off your nose to spite your face as they say.