1st name basis at work

[stephfromMIT]

Do you address colleagues by their 1st name? For me, I address profs by "Prof/Dr. X" fellow students by 1st name.

[DapperButch]

Dude, do you ever post in any threads, or just start them?

I am only joking around with you. I think that most of the threads that you have started have been interesting.

I don't think you are going to get many takers on this one, though. I don't know how much discussion could come about on this topic.

[jac]

Originally Posted by stephfromMIT

Do you address colleagues by their 1st name? For me, I address profs by "Prof/Dr. X" fellow students by 1st name.

When I was on campus I wasn't an official TA but I did work side by side with several professors and instructors. I used Prof/Dr and for instructors it was Mr., Mrs., etc... until they would say otherwise... and usually they did but I think it was mostly because of me being a non-traditional, middle-aged student. I'm guessing...

Where I work now we are all on a first name basis.... It's an adolescent homeless shelter and we act like family there half the time anyway.

[stephfromMIT]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

Dude, do you ever post in any threads, or just start them?

I am only joking around with you. I think that most of the threads that you have started have been interesting.

I don't think you are going to get many takers on this one, though. I don't know how much discussion could come about on this topic.

Glad you're j/k. The reason I start so many is because I like to learn about folks. I made this a separate from my "TA assignment" thread because I thought they didn't work as 1 post (as dumb as that sounds)

[Sparkle]

Well my reply is a slight digression, but I think perhaps it within the context of the OPs question...

90% of the time I refer to my colleagues by their first name, even supervisors, however, there are exceptions.

When I am meeting with donors and discussing the university to which they are an alma mater of, I will always address the head of school as "Chancellor soandso" or "President soandso" or "Dean soandso".

They may have been John and Bill and Lee to me, but in a professional capacity when discussing the upper echelon of university administration in the formal context of philanthropy, I use their titles. It legitimizes the leadership with the donor and it creates a sense of cache between the donor (alum) and the leadership.

But on a one-on-one working basis, I almost always address someone by their first name.

When I worked abroad, however, I was given a crash course in titles, particularly the importance of ceremonial titles...

I learned to address people as:

The Right Worshipful, The Lord Mayor of Lambeth
The Very Reverend, The Dean of Christ Church

as examples. It usually made me laugh to address a letter or email such, but it was expected in formal correspondence.

Once, by accident, while formatting a letter to be sent to all of my donors (alumni of Christ Church College, Oxford), I slipped up and never caught an important edit between the mail merge autofill salutation and my drafted salutation -- I ended up sending over 500 letters to the upper echelon of alumni addressed with a double salutation of "Dear Dear":

"Dear Dear Sir John"
"Dear Dear the Worshipful the Mayor of xxx"
"Dear Dear Mr Cromwell"
"Dear Dear Sir William" etc...........

Ironically, I raised more money from that appeal than any other letter campaign in my time at that company, and I had copious notes from the gentlemen saying how gracious and lovely I was. (because they perceived my double salutation "dear dear" as the height of obsequiousness).

Titles are a funny thing.

[Corkey]

Originally Posted by stephfromMIT

Glad you're j/k. The reason I start so many is because I like to learn about folks. I made this a separate from my "TA assignment" thread because I thought they didn't work as 1 post (as dumb as that sounds)

What I do is read folks posts, gives me a clue as to who they are. I'm differently abled and therefore have massive amounts of time to devote to reading, which I do every day. Start posting in some of the fluffy threads and you'll find out quite a bit about people. some of us have been around for years, some are newbies like yerself. We all start somewhere

[spritzerJ]

I teach in an elementary school. Amongst our teacher selves we go by first names. Usually I learn the last names first since I am often addressing others in front of students. But elementary school is a weird world... Mrs. Lines I notice your class is so quiet in the hall...

[aishah]

when i was in college i addressed professors by their title and tas by their first name (mostly because we were in a lot of classes together as students). when i was in grad school i addressed everyone by their first name, though it took me some time to adjust. in every other job i've always addressed bosses and coworkers by their first name.

nowadays i work for myself and i address just about everyone by their first name. i'm a pretty informal person and i prefer to relate to people on a human level, without a lot of power plays, so i don't like it when people address me by titles either.

i mean, i'm a southerner at heart and i ma'am and sir most folks older than me, but i can't think of any situations offhand now where i address people by titles anymore...i'm on a first name basis even with most of my doctors now. i grew up addressing people by their titles and it took several years of being in situations where it was normal to address everyone by their first name for me to start being okay with it. especially at church and places like that.

[stephfromMIT]

aisha-Calling profs by their 1st name is something I never got used to. I also never quit lost the habit of raising my hand.

P.S.- thanks for the point about calling TAs by 1st names. I wondered how to direct my charges.

[Martina]

I would say that I called about half of my profs "Professor Whatever" and half by their first names.

I am currently a public school teacher. I address my colleagues as Mr. and Ms. in front of the kids, which is most of the time. It takes me a while to learn the first names of teachers I don't see often.

Where I was in grad school, professors were addressed as "Professor." Using "Doctor" was pretentious. No one did it although I know of schools where it's common.

So when administrators with Ph.D's go by Doctor, it makes me a little nauseous. But then administrators make me a little nauseous.

[ruffryder]

I would address professors as "Professor" and whatever their name was unless they asked to be called by their first name and sometimes that is the case. As for my work colleagues I call them by their first names. Since I work at a upscale 4 star hotel people like to use Sir, Ma'am, Miss, Mr alot and we get a lot of the management doing this with their subordinates. Personally I hate it and ask people to just call me by my name and I will not address someone as Sir, Ma'am, Mr, Miss unless I am sure that is what they want. I have also addressed people by their last name. great thread!

[Toughy]

I get my healthcare at the SF VA Medical Center. All of the staff (and I mean all...doctors, nurses, physical/occupational therapist, clerks at the clinics, etc) refer to patients as Ms ________ or Mr or Mrs or Miss. It makes me nuts cuz I am always looking around for my mother (who passed 20 years ago) when I hear Ms _________, How are you today?.

My primary care provider for the last 6 years is a nurse practitioner. I call her by her first name and always have. One day I asked her why she called me Ms _______ and her response was it is a sign of respect, plus it is hospital policy. I asked her to call me by my first name and she just cannot seem to do that. I on occasion will call her Nurse Practitioner __________ and that makes her laugh.

When I was active duty we all addressed each other by our rank except when hanging out or amongst our peers. Every place I worked as a civilian we all addressed each other by our first name/nickname.

I think the formality of how we address each other is certainly dependent on the job we do.

[Tcountry]

In my industry I call them whatever they will answer quickest ..but then again most things are super urgent & over the 2-way radios...
We sometimes forgo the first & last & just go for the nicknames ..lol

[Miss Scarlett]

i work with attorneys... i never refer to my attorney by her first name (except privately) and seldom call her colleagues by their first names. There are very few clients i call by their first names. Judges? Never, even though they will introduce themselves by their first names when they call our office. It's out of respect and just not appropriate. My attorney, her clients, colleagues and Judges use my real name and not the familiar form used by my family, friends and colleagues.

[weatherboi]

My job has me in and out of peoples homes daily. I keep it very formal and usually always have someone with me at all times to prove it because people are really inappropriate in their homes when they are paying you money. If they try and force something different I usually give them my "For liability purposes our company policy blah blah blah".

[Soon]

As a student in university, everyone was Dr. so and so. Professor was never used.

As a high school teacher, I call all teachers by their first name when one on one. However, I do address them as Mr or Ms so and so in front of other students (if they are in class especially), but I have been known to go heyyy (insert first name) when not many are around (like passing each other in the hallway) or if it just slips out and it's not that big of a deal. Sometimes, I think the students like to see us address each other as peers w/o the formalities. It makes them see we have a world and identities of our own, too.

[Novelafemme]

I have worked in higher education for over a decade now and always use Dr. or Professor until I am instructed otherwise. My best friend is a Ph.D and loathes being called Doctor. He insists that everyone refer to him by his first name.

During my undergrad years my favorite professor insisted that we call her Miranda instead of Dr. Joseph. I never quite got used to it. Perhaps because I had a huge crush on her coupled with enormous respect. It felt way too intimate.

I just started graduate school and noticed right away that no one raises their hands, they just start talking. I was so nervous my first day I don't recall how the prof. asked us to address her. I will pay attention today for sure!

A rule of thumb I go by is when introducing someone who has earned their doctoral degree to a stranger, I always use Dr. or Professor. My boss doesn't like to be called Dr. Katz but I still introduce him as such and leave it up to him to informalize the salutation.

With TA's I use Mr./Mrs./Ms.

When people accidentally call me Dr. L______, I never correct them.

[MsTinkerbelly]

I call everyone by their first names except for the owner of our company and our customers. Our customers usually ask me to use their first name after the initial meeting, but due to the manners my Mom (right or wrong) drilled into me, I call the owner "Sir" or Mr. so and so.

I have tried to call him by his first name (everyone else does) but it feels wrong. Besides, he gets a kick out of it when his associates come in and I call him Sir. I always introduce people formally as well...but that's for another thread.

[princessbelle]

How i address most people depends on how they are introduced to me until they tell me differently.

At work, with coworkers, it is first name unless it is a Dr. that i'm not close to. There are some docs i've known for years, we are on first name basis. But, in front of patients, it's back to Dr.

When i arrive at patient's homes, i have to positively identify everyone so i ask are you Jean Robbins (first name last name). Then after the identification is complete, i switch back to Ms. Robbins or Mr. Robbins, unless they insist on me using their first names.

Most patients just call me generically...nurse. But, up on the mountain there are a few families that call me doc. They know i'm not a doctor and they are well aware that i am a nurse, but i'm the only medical person some of these peeps ever see. It's sorta cute i think.

Honestly, i answer to anything. I'm not uptight about it.

[Ginger]

I really love thinking about all the cultural and social layers attached to honorifics and titles.

I’ve always bridled at honorifics. I had problems accepting that authority could be anything other than a form of bullying, till I had been away from my family for a while, and then I began to understand that authority and corresponding levels of honorifics were often culturally based, and usually had nothing to do with people trying to create power inequities or exploit difference.

Here’s an example. When I worked in literacy, and taught in neighborhood libraries with older African American students from the South, I dressed up as if I were going to church—because that’s what they did.

They also insisted in addressing me using “Miss (last name)” and I never insisted they call me by my first name (which was more my style), or worse, gave them a lecture on the usage of “Ms.”

I figured it was their house and I was their guest, and I wanted to be respectful of their culture. Besides, there are enough power dynamics to be sensitive to, when one adult is teaching another adult something as potentially infantilizing as how to read, not to mention, the need to be sensitive to racial difference.

When I taught writing at a university in New York, my freshman students addressed me as “Professor (last name)” and I addressed them as “Mr. or Ms. (last name),” because that was the policy of the English department at that time.

Ten years later I was teaching again, this time in Washington, D.C., but the culture of private colleges in general had loosened up by then, and we all used first names in class.

When I taught at a high school in an upper-middle-class suburb of Dallas, I instructed students to address me as “Ms. (last name),” and I used their first names.

Yes, in that case I consciously sent the message that we had different levels of authority. To do otherwise, within that teen culture, would have been interpreted by them as license to treat me as a peer and ignore my directives or rules in class. Trust me, you did not want to go there.

Now I work in a large public college (not in a teaching role), and am on first-name basis with everyone except the president. Honestly, I call him “President (last name),” because it’s sort of fun.

As for the professors at my workplace, I have the same degree as many of them, but even if I didn’t, I wouldn’t use their title; except of course, in front of their students, because I want to honor the protocol of their classroom.

I guess the professors and staff at my current job remind me of my friends and people I went to school with, so that’s why I use first names with them. More likely, it’s because we’re all just co-workers—though our areas of responsibility differ greatly—and we’re all adults.

Honorifics are helpful, sometimes. They carry so many social connotations but don’t necessarily mean that one person is not another person’s peer or that one person has power over the other. They do mean that prescribed roles are in place, and those roles enable people to do their jobs or provide services more easily, and interact more comfortably in all kinds of situations.

For different reasons, I use “Dr.” when addressing my internist and gynecologist; in those cases, I want to let each woman know I validate her expertise and trust her ability to help me manage my health.

In fact, I am always happy to use honorifics in addressing women at any professional or vocational level, because I want to be supportive of them, especially in a culture where they still don’t earn as much as men. It’s disheartening, how few women are majoring in the science, technology, engineering and math fields in college. And the number of women in majoring and working in the computer sciences has actually gone down in the last ten years, partially because of the aggressively sexist gaming culture that has dominated that development environment.

If I am contracting services from a service provider or technician, such as the person who installed our air conditioner a couple weeks ago, I will use “Mr. (last name),” unless he requests otherwise.

To me, this is a way of saying, I value the service you provide and respect your expertise as much as I respect the service provided by my doctor, lawyer, accountant or other professional—all of whom expect and are traditionally addressed with honorifics.

When I was a child, I was taught to use “ma’am” and “sir” for all adults, even my parents.

As we moved around, I realized this was not common practice in all regions of the country, and so I code-switched to match the culture I was in. I might not have always used “ma’am” and “sir” with my friends’ parents, but I always used “Mr.” and “Mrs.” with them, and you better believe when I went to visit my grandparents in the summer, I would revert again to using “ma’am” and “sir.”

I think overall, I’m saying honorifics or titles are often more about culture than power, and my usage of them is contextual.

Bottom line, I don’t want to offend anyone; I want to respect a person’s expertise in any area, and I will follow whatever cultural usage of honorifics is in place, wherever I find myself.