03-19-2010, 09:17 AM | #61 | |
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme Relationship Status:
attached Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: .
Posts: 6,896
Thanks: 29,046
Thanked 13,118 Times in 3,391 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
Quote:
(and derive a form of self-fulfillment from achieving a certain look despite its toll on their physical well-being or its potential negative impact on others--including their children.) |
|
03-19-2010, 09:19 AM | #62 | |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
The original lime-twisted femme Preferred Pronoun?:
I answer to most things, especially lesbian. Relationship Status:
Still loving my Mare ;) Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 4,683
Thanks: 1,343
Thanked 11,424 Times in 2,978 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854 |
Quote:
Medusa: You would be right, TOO. I don't think a mother (or father) should "give up" their lives for their children - it certainly doesn't seem 'fair'. However, I think that those types of actions are a bit too extreme - you can find a medium place to have a life AND make sure you are there for your kids at the same time - I have lots of friends who do it, and they don't seem to be suffering for the sake of their children. Fat positive to me does not equal destructive behavior. I really think her "goal" is set for self-destruct.
__________________
|
|
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to NJFemmie For This Useful Post: |
03-19-2010, 09:25 AM | #63 | |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme Preferred Pronoun?:
sea shell Relationship Status:
married Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: san diego
Posts: 1,687
Thanks: 1,927
Thanked 4,377 Times in 1,015 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852 |
Quote:
she's killing herself. would we watch a drug addict over a course of time, overdose? would we want to protect her children? meh, this just sucks. |
|
03-19-2010, 09:32 AM | #64 |
Pink Confection
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status:
Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Nashville
Posts: 4,266
Thanks: 17,195
Thanked 11,382 Times in 2,839 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
It freaks me out to think that we would want the government to take away her kids.
What is the line? Who gets to pick? Who would be in charge of deciding what is too fat. 200lbs? 300lbs? Mobility? Should pregnant women be forced to give birth based on giving up one's life for ones children? If a child needs an organ, should the government force them to give it. And no, I don't think we would look at a man on the same way. We never do. No, I don't have kids or my own, but have lived with kids of a partner and I agree they take a lot of work, but do we want to government deciding on what weight is and is not safe to be a mother? Slippery slope.
__________________
|
The Following User Says Thank You to Apocalipstic For This Useful Post: |
03-19-2010, 09:37 AM | #65 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Unabashed Feminine Lesbian Preferred Pronoun?:
Her, She Relationship Status:
Married! Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 689
Thanks: 1,499
Thanked 2,416 Times in 504 Posts
Rep Power: 9668974 |
The fact is that there are many people who develop diseases like diabetes and high blood pressure, and then choose not to follow their doctors' orders. My own brother is not severely overweight, but he challenges his ulcerative colitis daily to the point that I have to wonder if he is trying to kill himself. He's a young father, married with two children and a business that supports his family. His death, which doesn't seem so farfetched, would be emotionally and physically devastating to his family. His choices don't attract media attention, but they are questionable, none-the-less.
One thing about having kids is that you just don't know how it's going to turn out. There are situations when what is required is to put yourself aside for some years to make sure that their needs are met. Especially if there are medical issues or financial strains, it is conceivable that a person (a mom) will lose herself entirely for a time, and I don't think that's unusual. Keeping your own "center" through the roller-coaster of making sure your kid's needs are met is not easy or always functional, even. This is something I know about. If you read a parenting magazine in the doctor's waiting room, there are all these little articles about taking care of yourself: take a bubble bath, take up scrapbooking, read a book, join a photography class...etc. People have to be REMINDED to focus on themselves, even a couple of hours a week. That can be the reality of their lives. Gaining weight to become 1,000 lbs, and all the stuff that goes with it for this woman is certainly her choice. I actually *do* think it's wrong on so many levels. I don't think her children should be taken away, in that they do have another caregiver in the home who can meet their basic needs. But, their mother is sure a questionable role model, and I can't help think about how they will view their mother and their childhood when they are grown. Having this woman as a mother is not a benign thing. Think about how our own mothers affected us. I do think it's OK to look at something, like this situation, and filter it through some sense of ethics without apology. Some things are actually right, and some things are actually not so right, even though we can agree that we won't all agree on what they are.
__________________
In the flush of love's light we dare be brave And suddenly we see that love costs all we are and will ever be. Yet it is only love which sets us free. Maya Angelou Wedding Photos: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?...1&l=22b092b98c
|
The Following User Says Thank You to Lynn For This Useful Post: |
03-19-2010, 09:51 AM | #66 | |
Mentally Delicious
How Do You Identify?:
Queer High Femme, thank you very much Preferred Pronoun?:
Mme. Relationship Status:
Married to JD. Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 10,446
Thanks: 5,995
Thanked 42,872 Times in 7,835 Posts
Rep Power: 21474861 |
Quote:
I like the parallel that you draw between what this person is doing and a drug addict. If we view her choice to eat this much (or the attention that she gets from eating this much?) as an addiction, would we view her husband as an enabler? (this one seems like a no brainer) Would we view the feeder/gainer community that she is part of as culpable in helping her maintain her addiction? Is there a culture in the feeder/gainer community that celebrates this addiction?
__________________
. . . |
|
The Following User Says Thank You to Medusa For This Useful Post: |
03-19-2010, 10:14 AM | #67 | |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Stonefemme Relationship Status:
married to Gryph Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Wichita, KS
Posts: 2,177
Thanks: 1,126
Thanked 3,772 Times in 1,264 Posts
Rep Power: 10778869 |
Quote:
Here's my question for everyone. Can you choose to do that without throwing up? Can ANY of us choose to do that without throwing up? There is something physically, hormonally wrong with this woman. That's why it really bothers me that her size is being attributed to her choice. She has some underlying hormonal imbalance that forces her body to turn what she eats into fat, and it allows her to eat unreasonable amounts of food--amounts that would make any of the rest of us throw up because our bodies would automatically reject the sheer volume of food. She did not choose the underlying hormonal imbalance. What she chooses to do with this problem that she is forced to live with, whether she chooses to embrace it, to celebrate it, to flaunt it--this does not negate the fact that she has an underlying physical problem that has caused it in the first place. As for her children, are they being beaten or molested? Are they growing up under emotional abuse? Are they being prevented from attending school? Are they neglected? Or are they happy and well-loved? We do not have proof that her children will grow up maladjusted. We don't actually have enough information--in either direction--to make an accurate judgment call about them. But let's assume for the sake of argument that they will somehow grow up maladjusted, that they will have a bad relationship with food, that they may need therapy to gain a healthy adult life. What makes them any different from me, or from you? How many of us still struggle with weight issues, self-esteem issues? Even worse, how many of us struggle with abuse and molestation and neglect issues? How many of us only live healthy adult lives because we got therapy? Nobody wishes for children to suffer; it wrenches the heart. But we survived it, and if these children do suffer, they also will survive it. My guess is, they will survive it much more easily than those who are beaten, molested, and neglected. |
|
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Bit For This Useful Post: |
03-19-2010, 10:27 AM | #68 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
The original lime-twisted femme Preferred Pronoun?:
I answer to most things, especially lesbian. Relationship Status:
Still loving my Mare ;) Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 4,683
Thanks: 1,343
Thanked 11,424 Times in 2,978 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854 |
When someone says "I have a goal" ... it implies that they are purposely and actively working to attain that goal.
Hormonal balances aside - does it not say something when someone says I WANT to eat myself to 1000 lbs??
__________________
|
The Following User Says Thank You to NJFemmie For This Useful Post: |
03-19-2010, 10:30 AM | #69 | |
Pink Confection
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status:
Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Nashville
Posts: 4,266
Thanks: 17,195
Thanked 11,382 Times in 2,839 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
Quote:
What is the line?
__________________
|
|
03-19-2010, 10:40 AM | #70 |
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Relationship Status:
A very happy Mr. Grumpy Cat Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Neither here or there
Posts: 7,987
Thanks: 27,733
Thanked 18,942 Times in 4,708 Posts
Rep Power: 21474858 |
As a mother of a son who was almost taken away from me simply due to the fact that I was gay, I am a little weary when I hear people talk about the “government”, or anyone for that matter, taking kids away from their mothers. Having said that, I must keep in mind that I did not “choose” my sexual orientation, whereas this woman has chosen and as continuously chooses, to put herself and her dysfunctional ways before her children. In any event, I still don’t advocate anyone’s children being taken away unless they are truly in danger. There lies the question about child custody, and it is so difficult to decide in this case if they are indeed in danger or simply subjected to unhealthy behavior. It also amazes me that most of those who are appalled at the “government” running anything, more specifically healthcare, have no problem rationalizing the government’s role in parenting issues. I am with Apocalipstic, where do we draw the line?
The article is not giving us the whole picture, but the one that it does give us is very grim. This woman is willing to kill herself in the name of 15 minutes of fame and her name appearing in print in the Guinness Book of World Records. This says so much more about our society than it does about this poor woman. In the age of realities, celebrity worshiping, etc, how can we blame her? We have the Octomom as another example, when will we stop worshiping the wrong people for the wrong reasons? What will be next? I personally don’t believe this has anything to do with being “fat positive”, and I am sure this will bring in a lot of comments. Being “fat positive” does not equal being suicidal. I have been pondering whether to post on here or not because of the sensitivity of the subject, but in my mind setting a goal to reach 1,000lbs is simply insane. It is not sexy it is not positive it is not safe, for her or her children. Being 1,000 lbs is not being fat, it is a legacy that this woman will leave her children, one that not only includes eating disorders, but it also includes giving your children the wrong lessons and more importantly, teaching them how low self-esteem can go. |
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to UofMfan For This Useful Post: |
03-19-2010, 10:41 AM | #71 | |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
The original lime-twisted femme Preferred Pronoun?:
I answer to most things, especially lesbian. Relationship Status:
Still loving my Mare ;) Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 4,683
Thanks: 1,343
Thanked 11,424 Times in 2,978 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854 |
Quote:
Running along apretty's statement ... would you not want intervention if a drug addict's kid is being neglected? When a person puts themselves out there (meaning in the public eye), EVERYONE, including government agencies (especially when the potential for danger exists) are going to watch closely. If they didn't - we'd cry that the system failed. If she isn't thinking about her kids, maybe someone has to. But I don't think anything should be handled prematurely.
__________________
|
|
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to NJFemmie For This Useful Post: |
03-19-2010, 10:43 AM | #72 | |
Pink Confection
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status:
Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Nashville
Posts: 4,266
Thanks: 17,195
Thanked 11,382 Times in 2,839 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
Quote:
__________________
|
|
The Following User Says Thank You to Apocalipstic For This Useful Post: |
03-19-2010, 10:44 AM | #73 |
Pink Confection
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status:
Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Nashville
Posts: 4,266
Thanks: 17,195
Thanked 11,382 Times in 2,839 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
Are people who buy the Guiness Book of World Records or support the types of magazines and websites she is making money from culpable?
__________________
|
The Following User Says Thank You to Apocalipstic For This Useful Post: |
03-19-2010, 10:46 AM | #74 |
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme Relationship Status:
attached Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: .
Posts: 6,896
Thanks: 29,046
Thanked 13,118 Times in 3,391 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
Bit,
Just as we don't have "proof that her children will grow up maladjusted" (or neglected, etc.), how do you know, for certain, that this she has an "underlying hormonal imbalance"? I am no physiological expert, but from my understanding, the stomach can expand to to a much larger size depending on food intake. Even if there was an initial imbalance, her choices override it at this point. Everything I have read has attributed her increasing weight as her choice, and I find it interesting that you are focused on how she lacks choice due to a hormonal imbalance. Maybe it's like saying a person has a predisposition to drug/alcohol addiction? However, be that as it may, I think society should become at least aware of a parent who knowingly and publicly asserts their right to their addictions to the point of self-destruction--at the very least to keep an eye on the children's welfare (to answer Apoc's question) to see if the children's needs are being met. However, even with the most basic needs met, I do worry about the inherent harm (present and future) such behaviour has on her children (psychological and, perhaps, later, physical)--but I don't think that is a reason to remove them. She takes complete ownership and has encouraged publicity of this quest to reach her goal weight. I don't have much empathy for her--unlike those who are struggling to overcome their issues/addictions for themselves and families--she desires to go head long into a journey that will lead to further harm. To answer Apoc's last question: No, I don't think the World Record consumers are culpable. |
03-19-2010, 10:49 AM | #75 | |
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Relationship Status:
A very happy Mr. Grumpy Cat Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Neither here or there
Posts: 7,987
Thanks: 27,733
Thanked 18,942 Times in 4,708 Posts
Rep Power: 21474858 |
Quote:
|
|
03-19-2010, 10:50 AM | #76 | |
Pink Confection
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status:
Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Nashville
Posts: 4,266
Thanks: 17,195
Thanked 11,382 Times in 2,839 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
Quote:
__________________
|
|
The Following User Says Thank You to Apocalipstic For This Useful Post: |
03-19-2010, 10:50 AM | #77 |
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Relationship Status:
A very happy Mr. Grumpy Cat Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Neither here or there
Posts: 7,987
Thanks: 27,733
Thanked 18,942 Times in 4,708 Posts
Rep Power: 21474858 |
|
03-19-2010, 10:52 AM | #78 |
Pink Confection
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status:
Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Nashville
Posts: 4,266
Thanks: 17,195
Thanked 11,382 Times in 2,839 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
I think as long as we as a society continue to be fascinated with people like this and continue to buy the books, we are encouraging people like her.
__________________
|
03-19-2010, 10:54 AM | #79 |
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Relationship Status:
A very happy Mr. Grumpy Cat Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Neither here or there
Posts: 7,987
Thanks: 27,733
Thanked 18,942 Times in 4,708 Posts
Rep Power: 21474858 |
|
The Following User Says Thank You to UofMfan For This Useful Post: |
03-19-2010, 10:57 AM | #80 |
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme Relationship Status:
attached Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: .
Posts: 6,896
Thanks: 29,046
Thanked 13,118 Times in 3,391 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
I didn't say that; I do feel that there is some culpability in the men in her life who have encouraged her obesity to suit their desires.
However, again, she has chosen to allow herself to grow as part of their (and her own) fulfillment. I would feel the same way with a woman who is intent on becoming extremely thin in order to cater to someone else's idea of beauty-even if she felt sexier for doing so. |
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Soon For This Useful Post: |
|
|