Mental Illness

[Darth Denkay]

Hey Jedi,

I like the focus for this thread - the medications we need to live. I live with depression/anxiety. I was diagnosed when I was 15 - I'm 37 now. I've been on a series of meds - every few years have to change because the brain gets used to the current ones. Currently I'm on fluoxetine, lamictal, and xanax. They're doing the trick. Also see a therapist once, sometimes twice a month. Right now maintaining pretty well - course I've had 22 years of practice!!!

This seems like a good place to share a frustration of mine. Have you ever been in a conversation talking about someone who appears to be having a bad day, and someone says, "guess they didn't take their prozac today"? I find that horribly offensive, making light of those of us who do take meds and need these meds, not just to try to be in a good mood but to survive. Even worse, if you're having a bad day and someone asks you if you remembered to take your meds (especially folks who know you take meds). I've expressed my frustration when folks make these comments, but on only one instance have I had someone take me seriously. I try to just let it go, but in my mind it's one more way that mental illness is reduced to the "it's all in your head - get over it" mentality. Anyone else experience this???

[Andrew, Jr.]

I always get remarks like what you posted Darth. It goes thru me like bullets. Obviously the person making the remark has no clue as to what it is to suffer from anxiety or depression. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. It is pure hell. So, when some jackass makes a remark like that - it shows their lack of respect towards me or whomever, and shows the kind of person they are.

It isn't in my head. It was the knife being held at my throat. Or when my sisters (I have 4 older sisters) who came to me for protection from our father. So no, it isn't in my head.

Andrew

[Jedi]

Originally Posted by Darth Denkay

Hey Jedi,

I like the focus for this thread - the medications we need to live. I live with depression/anxiety. I was diagnosed when I was 15 - I'm 37 now. I've been on a series of meds - every few years have to change because the brain gets used to the current ones. Currently I'm on fluoxetine, lamictal, and xanax. They're doing the trick. Also see a therapist once, sometimes twice a month. Right now maintaining pretty well - course I've had 22 years of practice!!!

This seems like a good place to share a frustration of mine. Have you ever been in a conversation talking about someone who appears to be having a bad day, and someone says, "guess they didn't take their prozac today"? I find that horribly offensive, making light of those of us who do take meds and need these meds, not just to try to be in a good mood but to survive. Even worse, if you're having a bad day and someone asks you if you remembered to take your meds (especially folks who know you take meds). I've expressed my frustration when folks make these comments, but on only one instance have I had someone take me seriously. I try to just let it go, but in my mind it's one more way that mental illness is reduced to the "it's all in your head - get over it" mentality. Anyone else experience this???

Denkay...

I can soooo relate......BUT.....I'm not defending those who think they are funny. I forget to take my meds sometimes. Even though they are sitting out in plain sight. So...some do have to ask if I took my meds and yes even if I forgot I still get rather offended. Just missing 1 day can mess me up. Not majorly....but enough to be noticed in how I feel. I'm pretty in tune with myself. But I'm human and have my off days. And just because I'm having an off day, doesn't mean I need a med change or extra therapy either. Some people are at such a loss that they suggest the absurd, thinking they are being helpful because they don't know what else to say. My big peeve....is people who think your mental illness is just an excuse. That really upsets me. I mean....you think I really want to hallucinate and show how my thinking and judgement get clouded? Like I don't view it as a weakness sometimes...you know? Like...I don't like it used against me when I strive so hard to overcome it and live as normal as I can.....in spite of the fact it's there. OK...I'll get off my soapbox now.

Everyone....thank you for showing me support....I'm going through a rough time right now and have no idea when it will get easier.

Jedi

[Jedi]

I had been feeling increasingly depressed lately. For a number of reasons....

I'm working this temporary job and was sent out of town on business last week. I was given work this week in Delray Beach this week and it's about 17 miles....not far. At my last 45 minutes...I was given this 6 ft section...I asked the project manager to help me set the shelves by moving them with me with the merchandise still on them...it was the quickest way to get the section moved as it was all saline and contact lens cleaner and eye drops (I'm doing a walgreens reset)...well anyway...before I ramble on...long story short...he helped me out and then tonight as I was leaving he told me I was doing really well...and everytime he comes out to me on the floor while I'm working on an area he always says..."Let's set the pace" and things like that.
So...I didn't think I was doing so well. I was busting my butt to only touch things once and get stuff moved. And I was stuck with peg hooks again...and was given about 9 ft to do by myself. It took me 6 1/5 hrs. So...the 45 minutes for 6 ft was really unrealistic. And I had an idea that totally gave us a jump for morning shift. And, he said I was really doing good work...that felt good. I was afraid (the way they kept checking on me), that I was moving too slow. And I thought I heard my name mentioned and a "yeah...I'll talk to her" but that could just be my illness. And I hate that kind of stuff. It doesn't happen too often, but when it does...... I kept my mouth shut and my mind on doing the job. And it appears to be nothing.

I feel really good that I'm doing much better than what I had been thinking all day. Another thing I hate about the illness...it makes me doubt myself. And it isn't rational...so it doesn't sit well with me. I functioned in spite of it and I think a lot of it is thanks to medication. Which I remembered to take today... So today was a good day.

Here's hoping you all had a good day, too... (I try to remember to count my blessings everyday)

[chefhottie25]

Originally Posted by JediMaster

I had been feeling increasingly depressed lately. For a number of reasons....

I'm working this temporary job and was sent out of town on business last week. I was given work this week in Delray Beach this week and it's about 17 miles....not far. At my last 45 minutes...I was given this 6 ft section...I asked the project manager to help me set the shelves by moving them with me with the merchandise still on them...it was the quickest way to get the section moved as it was all saline and contact lens cleaner and eye drops (I'm doing a walgreens reset)...well anyway...before I ramble on...long story short...he helped me out and then tonight as I was leaving he told me I was doing really well...and everytime he comes out to me on the floor while I'm working on an area he always says..."Let's set the pace" and things like that.
So...I didn't think I was doing so well. I was busting my butt to only touch things once and get stuff moved. And I was stuck with peg hooks again...and was given about 9 ft to do by myself. It took me 6 1/5 hrs. So...the 45 minutes for 6 ft was really unrealistic. And I had an idea that totally gave us a jump for morning shift. And, he said I was really doing good work...that felt good. I was afraid (the way they kept checking on me), that I was moving too slow. And I thought I heard my name mentioned and a "yeah...I'll talk to her" but that could just be my illness. And I hate that kind of stuff. It doesn't happen too often, but when it does...... I kept my mouth shut and my mind on doing the job. And it appears to be nothing.

I feel really good that I'm doing much better than what I had been thinking all day. Another thing I hate about the illness...it makes me doubt myself. And it isn't rational...so it doesn't sit well with me. I functioned in spite of it and I think a lot of it is thanks to medication. Which I remembered to take today... So today was a good day.

Here's hoping you all had a good day, too... (I try to remember to count my blessings everyday)

I can relate to the self doubt. I do it all the time...even when I am doing things I know that I did well before my diagnosis. I just started a new job and I have been experiencing that a lot lately. I just keep telling myself to keep at it, that I am being too hard on myself.

[Jedi]

Originally Posted by chefhottie25

I can relate to the self doubt. I do it all the time...even when I am doing things I know that I did well before my diagnosis. I just started a new job and I have been experiencing that a lot lately. I just keep telling myself to keep at it, that I am being too hard on myself.

I'm glad someone else out there can relate...I feel less alone. Forgot my meds today. Remembered before it was too late though. I hate when that happens. And I engaged in some typical sick behavior today which disturbed me. I just don't like when I have days like these. Although.....the depression isn't as bad.

[Andrew, Jr.]

I hope everyone is doing well. Enjoy your weekend!

[Heart]

"Depression is not a sign of weakness - it is a sign that you have been trying to be strong for too long."

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) http://www.nami.org.

[Jedi]

Originally Posted by Heart

"Depression is not a sign of weakness - it is a sign that you have been trying to be strong for too long."

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) http://www.nami.org.

Very nice...I keep getting told I'm stronger than I think.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Has anyone been watching the Discovery Health series on mental illness? I only got to watch 1 show of it. I have been way too busy to catch it when it has been on.

[chefhottie25]

Originally Posted by Heart

"Depression is not a sign of weakness - it is a sign that you have been trying to be strong for too long."

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) http://www.nami.org.

This is a great quote. I would also encourage people to check out the NAMI website that you linked. They offer some amazing support groups. I attend one here at the local NAMI branch. There is also a group for family members, partners,and friends of someone who suffers from mental illness. My dad has found the group to be supportive and insightful.

[Andrew, Jr.]

This place holds me together on some days. Today is one of those days.

[Jedi]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

This place holds me together on some days. Today is one of those days.

Hang in there Andrew. We're here for you.

[lilapache]

i had this same thing sent to me on facebook... never really thought of it that way... *smiles* of course i haven't been thinking right for awhile... but i'm starting to get back on track...

Originally Posted by Heart

"Depression is not a sign of weakness - it is a sign that you have been trying to be strong for too long."

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) http://www.nami.org.

[Leigh]

I've been on disability for depression and panic/anxiety attacks for almost three years now, and despite that I try not to let things get Me down. I'm on wellbutrin now and it seems to be doing the trick; I was on celexa at one point and when that didn't work anymore they tried Me on effexor ...... well, I took that for only a week and it was a disaster. On effexor I was constantly dizzy, weak, shaky and had to sleep ~ I couldn't take it so wellbutrin it's been and for Me its working perfectly fine.

I have to admit that coming out as being FTM has soared My confidence and self-esteem along with the meds, I've noticed a considerable change in Myself in so many ways. I'm thankful for the meds, though some may think it sound weird, without them I don't think I'd be able to function properly. Some days I just wanna throw the pill bottle out the window, but then again as long as they help Me then I will continue to take them. I'm glad that we have threads like this on the Planet because not only does it give those of us with mental health issues a place to vent and talk about stuff with others who know what we are going through, but it also just gives us the knowledge that we're not alone!

I'm thankful for all of you

[lilapache]

i have a question... how long did it take before the celexa quit working for you?... see... i'm trying to get back on meds... i went back to my old ones because honestly i can't afford the dr. visit or the meds... and the mental health clinic around here says i make to much and they want 100 bucks... anyway... the celexa was NOT slowing my head down... o... btw.. i'm TypeII Bi-Polar with panic disorder and chronic depression... i've been unmedicated idk... about 3 years this time... and i've come to realize i CAN NOT survive without medication anymore... my head just gets WAYYY to far gone... then i become a very bad danger to myself... yeah this was just recent... i want my old med back which was lexapro... i'm workin on doin that once i get moved... after the celexa i've been on ritalin... and its helped some as far as slowing the thought processes... but its not enough... i can tell... to the point i've gone into manics and have been taking as much overtime as i can to exhaust myself enough to not think when i try and go to sleep...

anyway... i digressed... sorry... that's what happens...

but please how long did it take before the meds quit working on you...

Originally Posted by Braedon

I've been on disability for depression and panic/anxiety attacks for almost three years now, and despite that I try not to let things get Me down. I'm on wellbutrin now and it seems to be doing the trick; I was on celexa at one point and when that didn't work anymore they tried Me on effexor ...... well, I took that for only a week and it was a disaster. On effexor I was constantly dizzy, weak, shaky and had to sleep ~ I couldn't take it so wellbutrin it's been and for Me its working perfectly fine.

I have to admit that coming out as being FTM has soared My confidence and self-esteem along with the meds, I've noticed a considerable change in Myself in so many ways. I'm thankful for the meds, though some may think it sound weird, without them I don't think I'd be able to function properly. Some days I just wanna throw the pill bottle out the window, but then again as long as they help Me then I will continue to take them. I'm glad that we have threads like this on the Planet because not only does it give those of us with mental health issues a place to vent and talk about stuff with others who know what we are going through, but it also just gives us the knowledge that we're not alone!

I'm thankful for all of you

[Andrew, Jr.]

I feel like I am standing at the edge of a cliff ready to fall. That is what my depression is like today. I fight it day in and day out. I am tired of battling it constantly.

Braedon, your symptoms and mine are pretty much 100% the same. I too get the anxiety and panic attacks. They are aweful. But I am an Aspi, and don't have bipolar disorder (according to the therapist).

I too am grateful for everyone here.

[Jedi]

Originally Posted by Braedon

I've been on disability for depression and panic/anxiety attacks for almost three years now, and despite that I try not to let things get Me down. I'm on wellbutrin now and it seems to be doing the trick; I was on celexa at one point and when that didn't work anymore they tried Me on effexor ...... well, I took that for only a week and it was a disaster. On effexor I was constantly dizzy, weak, shaky and had to sleep ~ I couldn't take it so wellbutrin it's been and for Me its working perfectly fine.

I have to admit that coming out as being FTM has soared My confidence and self-esteem along with the meds, I've noticed a considerable change in Myself in so many ways. I'm thankful for the meds, though some may think it sound weird, without them I don't think I'd be able to function properly. Some days I just wanna throw the pill bottle out the window, but then again as long as they help Me then I will continue to take them. I'm glad that we have threads like this on the Planet because not only does it give those of us with mental health issues a place to vent and talk about stuff with others who know what we are going through, but it also just gives us the knowledge that we're not alone!

I'm thankful for all of you

I sooooo know about the functioning part...I can relate totally. I thank God for my meds and that they work. I have had meds stop working before......and lilapache.....for me it was after several years on the medication. I have been on Effexor but didn't like the side effects. The medicine that plateaued (when they stop working) for me was Paxil. And I had a rough time coming off the Paxil even after it stopped working....I had some serious "brain zap" (another med term.....for a symptom that I can only describe as my nerves throbbing). Any paxil derivitive gives me brain zap. I was on the newest form and it was bad coming off. I believe that one is called Pexeva. Keep in mind not everyone has the same chemistry.....that's why there are so many drugs out there. And almost infinite combinations there of. I'm on Invega, Prozac, and Wellbutrin (low dose) and xanax for when I have anxiety attacks and the like. My combo has been working for the last 9 months.....keep your fingers crossed it continues.

Just remember.....no matter how you feel......you are not alone.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Today I just feel very isolated and depressed.

[Jedi]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Today I just feel very isolated and depressed.

Andrew......giving you a brotherly hug......you're ok......