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Old 08-22-2022, 11:27 PM   #1
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I’m saddened by the recent updates here. Such a shitty club to find ourselves enrolled in. With that said though, I don’t think that you will ever find a more supportive and understanding group of people than those that have walked in similar shoes. Each journey is different yes, but the tools we all gather, the strength we gain and the trials that we go through, give each of us a unique outlook and sense of empathy that is hard to find elsewhere.
The days ahead will test you to your very core but you’ll find strength that you never knew you had. Also know though that it’s okay, and necessary, to be vulnerable too. Leaning on others for support right now is a crucial component to your health and overall well being and your health needs to be your primary focus right now. If there are days that you can’t find your strength, you can come here and someone will remind you. This space is to share both the good, the bad and the unknown. Ask questions, cry, vent, laugh or share something completely unrelated. We all understand, whether we have cancer, are waiting to hear if we have it, care for or have lost someone with it, cancer links us all together.

Thinking of you all. Here for you if you need an ear, a shoulder or a nudge to remind you of what a badass you are.

F**k cancer
Big love, Be good to you..
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This. This is everything, thank you so much for your support and love. Your spirit is so joyous and generous. I feel like I’m exactly where I need to be. I was scared and intimidated by my DX but after reading all the posts not just now but before, it feels like home here. And I really need to feel like I’m home somewhere. Here is good. Familiar. I’ve missed this place. I feel like the whole world, my whole world has gone crazy and I’m the only sane one wishing I was crazy too. Idk if that even makes sense but that’s how I feel. Today, my daughters asked me to provide proof. PROOF! That I actually got this. Who would make that up? I provided them with proof and afterward I blocked them. I love my children, anyone that knows me knows my kids are everything to me, but right now, today, I’m feeling sad. Disappointed I guess is a better word. I’m grateful though because I do have a support system to help me get through this and I count all of y’all as part of that system. Thanks for inviting me to share. I know you meant your post for everyone but I took all of it to heart. Thank you so very much for your kindness. It is very much appreciated. ❤️🤗

All my love,

Canela
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Old 08-23-2022, 08:39 AM   #2
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I am so so sorry that your kids are "doubting" you at a time like this. That just absolutely sucks. Perhaps it is their way of processing this, maybe it scared them, I do not know that answer.

But, HERE....here is home for you & all of us, for this is where NO ONE is questioned, no one is doubted, & no one will be shunned. This is your soft place to land, where you can read in silence, yet feel all the love, support, & gentle hugs you need, every! single! time!

Any post we write, I feel certain is both individual & collectively. So always feel free to take our words for your own!!

Sitting in here, feels like an amazing space, that one or many, can come to, soak up all the energies being left for all who needs that. What I love about this particular thread is that so many of us have had to face this dilemma of C., and unfairly, sometimes, more than once! Yet everyone remains hopeful, positive, & encouraging, loving each of us as best they can. As my sweet friend, V wrote, C. SUCKS! My mantra was "I made cancer my bitch" and my oncologist loved that when I would say it to her!!

Every one of us are challenged in differing ways when we get this dx. BUT we all march forward, fighting for every day we live another day, suffering, progressing, sliding into what ever emotion facing us at any given moment, BUT! WE! MARCH! forward. We are BRAVE WARRIORS!



Know you are NOT EVER alone in your battle. Some, one, or all, of us are here for whatever you may need. Feel free to scream, to cry, to post of your feelings, reach out, or just say hi...because, at the end of the day...we are all one in here!!

Be gentle with yourself, reach out, there is no shame is being vulnerable...as we all have at some point. We are all one here...some, or many times, it will NOT be easy....BUT...what is easy is to come to your family here...we will ease your burdens so it will be easier for you! I promise you that!!

Know you are so precious to me, & others here. You have always been a special friend to me!! Take care, Canela! We got you, girl!!



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This. This is everything, thank you so much for your support and love. Your spirit is so joyous and generous. I feel like I’m exactly where I need to be. I was scared and intimidated by my DX but after reading all the posts not just now but before, it feels like home here. And I really need to feel like I’m home somewhere. Here is good. Familiar. I’ve missed this place. I feel like the whole world, my whole world has gone crazy and I’m the only sane one wishing I was crazy too. Idk if that even makes sense but that’s how I feel. Today, my daughters asked me to provide proof. PROOF! That I actually got this. Who would make that up? I provided them with proof and afterward I blocked them. I love my children, anyone that knows me knows my kids are everything to me, but right now, today, I’m feeling sad. Disappointed I guess is a better word. I’m grateful though because I do have a support system to help me get through this and I count all of y’all as part of that system. Thanks for inviting me to share. I know you meant your post for everyone but I took all of it to heart. Thank you so very much for your kindness. It is very much appreciated. ❤️��

All my love,

Canela
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Old 08-23-2022, 12:22 PM   #3
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Know I leave you each with a gentle hug, a soft place to land, & an ear...most of all...YOU ALL ARE BRAVE!! We got this!! Thinking of each & everyone of you..always....clay xoxo
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Old 08-23-2022, 08:04 PM   #4
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Thanks so much Clay !! You are so kind and I truly appreciate you!

Today was my followup appt to get a tooth fixed and my cancer biopsy done, but my blood pressure was really high so they fixed my tooth and gave me a bag of beautiful veggies from their community gardens and a bouquet of flowers from that same garden too.

We have staffing issues at work: we keep getting people who dont want to work (that "quiet quit" syndrome, maybe?).

I felt like whatever cancer i have must be terrible because of how the medical staff treated me so.kindly and shoved my cancer biopsy test under the proverbial rug.

I'm not upset that they could not do my test today. But it sends me a subtle unspoken message that my cancer situation will become real ugly.

All i know is to dwell on positive thoughts and not get caught up in what i dont know (etc).

Thanks for being so kind during a very unsettling part of life.

~K.


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Know I leave you each with a gentle hug, a soft place to land, & an ear...most of all...YOU ALL ARE BRAVE!! We got this!! Thinking of each & everyone of you..always....clay xoxo
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Old 08-24-2022, 12:12 AM   #5
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Thanks so much Clay !! You are so kind and I truly appreciate you!

Today was my followup appt to get a tooth fixed and my cancer biopsy done, but my blood pressure was really high so they fixed my tooth and gave me a bag of beautiful veggies from their community gardens and a bouquet of flowers from that same garden too.

We have staffing issues at work: we keep getting people who dont want to work (that "quiet quit" syndrome, maybe?).

I felt like whatever cancer i have must be terrible because of how the medical staff treated me so.kindly and shoved my cancer biopsy test under the proverbial rug.

I'm not upset that they could not do my test today. But it sends me a subtle unspoken message that my cancer situation will become real ugly.

All i know is to dwell on positive thoughts and not get caught up in what i dont know (etc).

Thanks for being so kind during a very unsettling part of life.

~K.
Glad to hear that you were at least able to get that tooth fixed.

One day, one moment, one breath at a time.. 💜
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Old 08-24-2022, 12:29 AM   #6
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This. This is everything, thank you so much for your support and love. Your spirit is so joyous and generous. I feel like I’m exactly where I need to be. I was scared and intimidated by my DX but after reading all the posts not just now but before, it feels like home here. And I really need to feel like I’m home somewhere. Here is good. Familiar. I’ve missed this place. I feel like the whole world, my whole world has gone crazy and I’m the only sane one wishing I was crazy too. Idk if that even makes sense but that’s how I feel. Today, my daughters asked me to provide proof. PROOF! That I actually got this. Who would make that up? I provided them with proof and afterward I blocked them. I love my children, anyone that knows me knows my kids are everything to me, but right now, today, I’m feeling sad. Disappointed I guess is a better word. I’m grateful though because I do have a support system to help me get through this and I count all of y’all as part of that system. Thanks for inviting me to share. I know you meant your post for everyone but I took all of it to heart. Thank you so very much for your kindness. It is very much appreciated. ❤️🤗

All my love,

Canela
I’m so sorry that your daughters did that!? That makes me very sad. I’m proud of you for dealing with it the way you did! I have four adult children of my own, each capable of saying and doing idiotic things from time to time. Most of the time it’s pretty harmless stuff but if they lost every ounce of common sense and empathy and did anything remotely similar, I would do the same thing that you did. A few days or more of being blocked might be just what the doctor ordered 😊.
I do hope that yours come to their senses soon and apologize profusely.

Mine thankfully are very supportive but they do struggle with talking about it. Talking just makes it all more real. I recognize that and try not to push them too much. At the same time though, I don’t let them avoid it altogether. We are still working on finding the right balance.

As for everything else you said, of course it makes sense.. 💜

Big love 💗
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Old 08-24-2022, 11:30 PM   #7
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I was too tired last night to add in my little bit of good news. My scans from last week show that the bone mets are stable, the mets near my lungs have resolved and all of the others have been reduced in size by half or more. There are a couple of teeny, tiny spots on my liver that we’re going to watch and revisit in 3 months when it’s time to run scans again. I’m tolerating the treatment well so far and that, coupled with evidence that it’s working to reduce the tumor burden, is very good news indeed. The only thing that made me grumpy at the appointment was being told that I need to lose some weight. As if I don’t already know that I have a bit of chonky going on right now. 😂 To be fair, it’s because she wants to prepare me for when the cancer becomes resistant to this first line of treatment. The second line is known to be harsher and cause diabetes, amongst other issues. So my first goal is going to be to get off of my cute, well padded derrière, walk a little bit more, eat a bit better and try to lose 20 pounds. If I can hit that goal, I’ll move on to a new one. It’s the right thing to do but knowing that I need to do something and being told that I HAVE to do something just somehow rubs me the wrong way every time. Even at 51, I apparently still have some rebellious teenager energy left in me.

I’m off the hook for appts now for the next 3 1/2 weeks. I’m looking forward to having this small break. In addition to the exercise, I also see lots of naps in my near future. This fatigue is hitting hard. Also, a big shoutout to TC for going to every appt with me, taking notes, asking questions and keeping me entertained every step of the way. I’m blessed to be loved by this amazing human being.

How’s everyone else doing? Kätzchen, how’s your tooth? Were you able to get the biopsy rescheduled? Canela, have you heard anything productive from MDAnderson? Incidentally, I’m up North in DFW and go to UTSW. Bulldog, I know that your appt is also coming up this week or next right?

Check in when you all feel up to it. Thinking of everyone here and sending tons of the good stuff out into the universe for each of you.

Big love 🖤 Be good to you
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Old 08-25-2022, 08:06 AM   #8
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That is indeed very good news, and much needed! Having TC is awesome and a great morale booster for you. That in itself is the BEST medicine!

I, too, just abhor anyone telling me I HAVE to do something. "chuckling"...

Glad you were able to check in & give a positive news update.

Naps are good. Rest is so essential to everything else.

Sends you & TC big hugs, my friend!
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Old 08-25-2022, 11:44 AM   #9
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Pynk, I'm so glad you got good news! Thank you so much for asking about all of us.

Yes, I see the Oncologist Specialist this Monday - the 29th. I'm glad I can finally see her. Hopefully, I will get more information on what I have and get the ball rolling on treatment. I feel I've been waiting around forever.

This week has been hard. My pain meds don't seem to be working as well as they used to. Most of the pain is in my legs. It hurts really bad. I had a big ordeal getting my meds re-filled so I'm just going to wait until Monday to see what the doctor says. I don't feel too bad today so far. I will check back after my appointment if I have any news.

I hope everyone has a good weekend and upcoming week and all my best wishes on your recovery.
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Old 08-29-2022, 11:04 PM   #10
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I had my appointment with the oncologist today. I like her and also her assistant. I feel I am in very good hands. I am having surgery on September 19 to remove a mass on my uterus, have a hysterectomy, and maybe a few other things lol. My doc said they won’t know for sure if the mass is malignant or not until it is removed and tested. But she said it is concerning and definitely needs to be removed. I agree. Never thought I would look forward to surgery but I want that mass gone. It is causing me a lot of pain.

It’s weird. September 19 was me and one of my ex’s anniversary. A very special love for me.

Thank you so much for all the support here and you have my support as well. Reach out anytime.
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Old 08-30-2022, 08:09 AM   #11
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Hey.......very happy to hear this news. Finally, moving toward having answers & hopefully, pain relief.

That is awesome you gelled with the surgeon and assistants. That is huge.....sends you positive energy vibes....YOU! GOT! THIS!!

Know I am in this with you, Bulley.....



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I had my appointment with the oncologist today. I like her and also her assistant. I feel I am in very good hands. I am having surgery on September 19 to remove a mass on my uterus, have a hysterectomy, and maybe a few other things lol. My doc said they won’t know for sure if the mass is malignant or not until it is removed and tested. But she said it is concerning and definitely needs to be removed. I agree. Never thought I would look forward to surgery but I want that mass gone. It is causing me a lot of pain.

It’s weird. September 19 was me and one of my ex’s anniversary. A very special love for me.

Thank you so much for all the support here and you have my support as well. Reach out anytime.
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Old 08-30-2022, 01:59 PM   #12
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I had thyroid cancer last year, which was successfully treated with surgery and radioactive iodine. I'm past due for my year scan, let alone my six month scan which I missed. I feel frozen about it. I'm usually so proactive about health stuff, and I've just been putting it off. My Dr has messaged me twice now to get my ass in gear. How do you overcome fear- based inertia regarding cancer care? I KNOW that I need to get on this. I know if it came back catching it early is key to effective treatment, but somehow my brain and my fear aren't communicating about this one. Thanks for any advice or thoughts you might have.
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