|
11-03-2015, 01:30 AM | #1 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Woman Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
Married Join Date: May 2013
Location: California
Posts: 695
Thanks: 904
Thanked 1,318 Times in 506 Posts
Rep Power: 9408453 |
Symptoms of PTSD can include:
Thoughts? Now what? |
11-03-2015, 07:49 AM | #2 | |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
lesbian butch Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
Single Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: in a one horse town in a large state, in the U.S.
Posts: 3,952
Thanks: 6,112
Thanked 5,268 Times in 1,633 Posts
Rep Power: 21474850 |
Quote:
I typically get maybe 4 to 5 hours of broken sleep a night. When the night terrors start , i wake up constantly and it's one dream after another when I fall back to sleep after a while of being up.
__________________
|
|
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to TruTexan For This Useful Post: |
11-03-2015, 03:27 PM | #3 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Woman Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
Married Join Date: May 2013
Location: California
Posts: 695
Thanks: 904
Thanked 1,318 Times in 506 Posts
Rep Power: 9408453 |
I sleep,just not regular hours.I have learned to recognize the signs in me and that is when I need to be left alone and think it through.This is not going to make much sense to some,but when i'm good,i'm really good..and when i'm bad,i'm really bad.I've lived with it most of my life...doctors couldn't help,most meds did not work.I don't like stress,but if it gets too much,i'll jump in my van and drive...and how far i drive depends on how much stress is in my life.Flashbacks can be troublesome,there are some memories i don't wish to relive...i have a good productive life and i'm mostly a positive person.I know how to deal with my illness...and that is being alone.I do know that is not for everyone,being alone i mean,so i encourage others to seek help if it gets to be too much.
I should not have ended my post with now what?. |
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Tuff Stuff For This Useful Post: |
12-01-2015, 12:27 AM | #4 |
Junior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Preferred Pronoun?:
they/them or ze/zer Relationship Status:
Happily Committed Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Dreaming of a treehouse
Posts: 68
Thanks: 55
Thanked 166 Times in 54 Posts
Rep Power: 0 |
Stress is a huge trigger for me. Stress, feeling out of control, and lack of sleep are often the perfect storm for PTSD triggers. It's less so about the flashbacks and more so about the emotional vomit that'll come up at the shittiest times. Today my anxiety has bee horrid. My emotional support dog got into the trash and ate a bunch of pads (gross!) and although she's still pooping, I'm terrified that she has a stomach blockage and will have to go in for surgery and will die (she's an old pup - 15 years old). I'm angry at myself for forgetting that I left the bathroom door open during our week long vacation and forgot to close it before my spouse and I went out. ...I'm terrified I've killed my baby. ....it's not a good feeling.
|
05-20-2019, 09:20 PM | #5 | |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Relationship Status:
I’m definitely not yours. Join Date: May 2010
Location: The pale blue dot
Posts: 15,155
Thanks: 35,933
Thanked 32,116 Times in 9,996 Posts
Rep Power: 21474866 |
Quote:
I have had a rough time of it, the past few weeks, due to stressors I have no control over, right now. I'm moving, after not having moved for nearly 11 years, so I imagine the high anxiety I feel about moving amplifies my PTSD. But I also have other things going down in my life right now that is not so nice and it also amplifies and triggers my case of PTSD. I am massively affected by survivor's guilt, too. I most likely have some form of depression too, but my therapist hasn't really said if I do or not. But I'm guessing I do. But seeing my therapist is the best decision I ever made for myself and I'm sticking with therapy until I can better mitigate on my own behalf. I needed help, and I'm glad I reached out for it. Thanks so much for your forum thread on PTSD, Apocalipstic.
__________________
Kätzchen ______ ______ Last edited by Kätzchen; 05-20-2019 at 09:23 PM. |
|
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to Kätzchen For This Useful Post: |
05-21-2019, 05:09 AM | #6 | |
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
jenny Preferred Pronoun?:
babygirl Relationship Status:
First Lady of the United SMH Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 5,445
Thanks: 1,532
Thanked 26,592 Times in 4,691 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856 |
Quote:
I sought therapy this year due to reemergence of dissociative symptoms following multiple incidents of workplace bullying by a board member and one incident of closed-door illegal electoral coercion by the mayor. We have not gotten to 3 of the batterers or the covert incest.
__________________
|
|
The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to dark_crystal For This Useful Post: |
05-21-2019, 11:16 AM | #7 |
Pixie Stick
How Do You Identify?:
The arteest formerly known as musicfemme. Preferred Pronoun?:
She. Relationship Status:
Happily taken. Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Northampton, MA
Posts: 11,293
Thanks: 31,723
Thanked 32,097 Times in 6,125 Posts
Rep Power: 21474858 |
I have severe cPTSD and relate to pretty much all the symptoms listed. I have a laundry list of traumas in my life that I'm not comfortable listing here, but my therapist and I are just beginning to scratch the surface. I'm starting to talk about my memories specifically which I have never done before.
My therapist does EMDR, which is supposed to be really good for reintegration of traumatic memories. I've done it once with something smaller than a major trauma to test it out and I found it very helpful. I am hopeful for the first time in my life that I will be able to deal with my traumas. I've really been struggling lately with sleep and nightmares, dissociation, anxiety attacks, and some major depression due to some family triggers. I'm trying to be gentle with myself. Solidarity to everyone struggling with PTSD. |
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to candy_coated_bitch For This Useful Post: |
05-22-2019, 06:42 PM | #8 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Transman Preferred Pronoun?:
Him,he Relationship Status:
just me Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Tweed Heads Australia
Posts: 427
Thanks: 2,204
Thanked 940 Times in 336 Posts
Rep Power: 11963695 |
I was Diagnosed with PTSD in Aug 2013 by a welfare worker,after a suicide attempt,a week before coming to the USA to see my GF in LA.
on my return I went to the PTSD clinic here,a specialist unit,I ticked all boxes,I felt I had lost my mind,sadaly my r'ship ended,as travel in that condition was crazy,but I had no idea,I was diagnosed with depression,bipolar or whatever for years and seeing shrinks from 2 years old. In 2014 I started seeing a specilast in PTSD in Sydney,1 of only 3 in Syd reccomended by Westmead PTSD clinic Sad as it is,I finally found out, what I had,turns out I have C PTSD from early childhood trauma,my mother a malignant narcissist. But I finally had an answer on why most my life I had had some crazy behavour,drugs,drinking,fighting only ever with men,was like I couldnt feel pain,anything to escape. Through my therapist,I learnt CBT,"Cognitive Behavoural Therapy"I also learnt that they really dont know much about CPTSD,they understand PTSD more,CPTSD is still in early discovery. I learnt the Trauma was in the brain stem the old part of the brain,the Flight or fight and that I needed to learn, to activate the frontal lobes of my brain,through doing things I enjoy,my main thing is music and my dog Scout. I also moved to a warmer climate and I love gardening and exercise helps as well. BUT my BIG one,NO FAMILY they trigger me and I now see them all, as an accident of DNA. If your CPTSD is from a narcissist in the family, usually there is not just one in a family,but several,I'm Irish catholic so theres lots of us,but ive always been an outsider,theres only one way to deal with narcs,"no contact" Of course its horrible to have this and know it was done to me,"early childhood symptoms are bedwetting and speech impedement,I had both as a child. But knowledge is power,I dont have r'ships no more,coz I seem to numb out and I get scared and run,I hurt people,I hurt me too,I did love my ex. So its better to be a bit of a hermit,and be careful who I let in Sad thing is,I say I trust people,truth is I only trust myself,its all I have ever had,is me. thanks for this thread,its like a coming out of the closet,no not a closet a cell.
__________________
https://soundcloud.com/conormont https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kb1y2xyfYSw If Not Me-Who If Not Now-When If Not Here-Where |
05-25-2019, 05:02 PM | #9 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Stonefemme lesbian Preferred Pronoun?:
I'm a woman. Behave accordingly. Relationship Status:
Single, not looking. Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: NYC
Posts: 1,467
Thanks: 9,474
Thanked 7,151 Times in 1,206 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852 |
This is an interesting discussion for me. I've had many PTSD symptoms from my earliest memories, but I never self identified as having this disorder. I used to have very obvious symptoms, but I became aware in my early 20s that I was freaking other people out with my 'thousand mile stare', for instance. And my obvious hyper vigilance, among other things. I worked super hard to control all the symptoms that another person might notice because I somehow thought that was the best way for me to move forward and function well.
I left my family early and broke off most contact, devised a plan to make my life work, and I stuck to it. I chose the seemingly most well socialized people I knew and I carefully watched what they did, and how they reacted in all life situations. Then I tried my best to mimic them. It was easy enough to train myself out of some of what I called my 'bad habits', but some behaviors were very well entrenched. Why wouldn't they be? They had saved my life at a time when I was endangered, so it felt/feels alarming to part with them. Like others here, my mother was a narcissist and my family was profoundly disfunctional. I survived several different forms of abuse. When I exploded out into the world as a teenager I had NO IDEA how to act right. Knowing that about myself was precious. I didn't have many people in my childhood from whom I could model behaviour, so I worked like a dog to learn how to act right as a young adult. It's a LOT harder to get it right as an adult! It's like trying to learn another language. It comes naturally to us as kids, but it's rare to become fluent when you learn late. To this day I continue to look to others to model back to me whether or not I'm running off the rails. I really thought that was how to get 'er done. Even though it's supposed to be an autonomous response, I learned how to short circuit the 'thousand mile stare'. I learned how to talk myself down from anxiety spirals. I now understand that an exclusive behaviour modification approach was/is good for some things, but not so much for others. Since I'm often making quick and accurate assessments of others in order to determine their suitability/safety for modeling behaviors, I find myself knowing things about them that they've never told me. Sometimes it's way too easy to read them. My closest friend has often found it stunning that I might know so much about people who haven't disclosed their history to me. One day that same very close friend said something to me about "Your PTSD symptoms..." Even though we were speaking on the phone at the time, I actually looked over both shoulders to see who she was talking about! And then it dawned on me that SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT ME!! She said it so matter-of-factly, like saying 'your calico cat'. Wow. It had never occurred to me to put myself in that category. Of course I had PTSD! How had it never crossed my mind? I can laugh at myself now, but it was an... interesting moment at the time. I had sought therapy a few times over the years, but never found an effective one. As it happens, I was seeing a therapist when I had that revelatory conversation with my friend about PTSD. I told her about it and the therapist said that, yes, of course I had PTSD. Why had she never mentioned it? Because it was so freaking obvious that she thought it didn't need mentioning!!! Well, now that that's all settled, I can see my own life in a clearer, more forgiving way. I'm grateful for the passage of time which really does blunt trauma. I still react strangely at times. I still get those symptoms, but everything is easier now that I'm so much further away from the experiences that traumatized me. This is going to stay with me until the end, I think. My life will never be easy the way it is for people without childhood traumas, but I'm in charge of myself and my reactions. I'm so much happier now.
__________________
Cheryl |
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to CherylNYC For This Useful Post: |
05-25-2019, 05:26 PM | #10 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
sitting over there ----->>>>> :) Preferred Pronoun?:
.... Relationship Status:
.... Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: ....
Posts: 3,522
Thanks: 9,081
Thanked 10,308 Times in 2,609 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854 |
back to CherylNY
I really appreciate you posting this about your experiences. Glad you are able to have such a realistic view and able to describe the trama and growth so well.
Today I am able to say, "that was then, this is now" and it helps me a great deal to not get stuck. Sometimes it is difficult for me to figure out things. I heard the "ding, ding, ding" bell several times as I read your post. Very helpful. I have not awakened from a night terror in a great long while. I am grateful. Best wishes - Sincerely, RockOn |
|
|