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Old 12-21-2011, 01:34 PM   #41
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Default DISCLAIMER--these are things i have ALWAYS demanded and are not directed at any one partner!

took me awhile to figure out if i even had 3....some may say i have many others may agree on the ones i list....either way this is what I feel........


1....HONESTY!!! if you cant/dont/wont be honest about the small,mundane things because you dont want to deal/hear my reaction,then its a good indicator u really wont be honest about the big things....this in turns destroys everything else--trust,passion,openness!


2...if you dont understand the relationship/connection i have with my son,at least respect it...after all i have known him longer,i KNOW his negatives and positives.

and i had to struggle to find the 3rd one but....

3...dont talk out both sides of your mouth! dont say what u think i want to hear,dont try to impress me
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Old 12-21-2011, 02:29 PM   #42
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-be appreciative of wicked smart intelligence
-must love hunting
-sharing a love for all seasons
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Old 12-21-2011, 02:46 PM   #43
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Things like honesty, compassion, sense of humour (including the ability to laugh at oneself) and good hygiene are givens. I mean, I wouldn’t be considering a relationship without them. But assuming those criteria are met, my next 3 are:

Must love to “do” the beach the way I do.
I used to say I wanted someone who loved the beach. Then I learned almost everyone loves the beach, but that saying so means different things to different people. Some people mean they like to look at it, some like to walk on it, some like to spend an hour or so there. I like to get there before anyone else does, and leave after everyone else has. I can spend 9 or 10 hours at a stretch there, and then come back and do it again the next day.

Must love mushrooms.
Two partners who hated them and one who was ambivalent about something I love so much made this a requirement.

Must be able to let things go.
Look, we’re going to hurt each other from time to time . . . it just happens. I try hard to say what I mean, mean what I say, and not say it mean, but every so often I am going to say something I don’t mean, or do something without thinking it through . . . everyone does. I am too old and tired to carry a grudge, or to deal with the silent treatment while I try to figure out what I’ve done wrong, and anyway, I’ve probably already forgotten it. I let these things go quickly. I don’t think everything needs to be hashed out, and could live the rest of my life happily never hearing the words “I need to process this” ever again.

This of course only applies to (what to me are) little things, because there is no coming back from (what to me are) big things like cheating.
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Old 12-21-2011, 03:26 PM   #44
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Well, I gave this a go, like, 12 times and it just seems to turn into an insurmountable list.

*feeling a bit unreasonable : /


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Old 12-21-2011, 04:28 PM   #45
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OK, No wire hangars was funny (I think)

My list is short and sweet.

No cigarettes, no drugs, no drunks
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Old 12-21-2011, 05:11 PM   #46
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsDemeanor View Post
- ..and does not like the Yankees or any quarterback named Manning or Tebow.
I <3 heart <3 this

I live in Seminole country. I hate the name Tebow.

*laughs!*
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Old 12-21-2011, 05:15 PM   #47
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No substance abusers (I am 9 years clean and sober)

Honesty. Period.

A sense of humor.

Kinky or open to it.

No. Drama.

(I don't follow rules so well)
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Old 12-21-2011, 06:41 PM   #48
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When the love bug hits me....Everything is negotiable.
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Old 12-21-2011, 07:03 PM   #49
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you must know who red skelton is and adore him

traditions are important to me and my adult daughter. Honor them and help us create some for you and us

speaking of, its a package deal...me and the adult kid, and any grandchildren that might come along.
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Old 12-21-2011, 07:32 PM   #50
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jett View Post
It's a hard question because I'll think of ten things that do really matter to me by the time I post this... okies, here we go.

1. A stable personality... that comes out that way, if you say six different things depending on your mood we have a big problem right there, I need to know where someones really coming from without having to read between the lines or compare all your statements and guess which one is the overall truth.
My friend, if there are many out there who think this way, I am doomed. It's the curse of the Gemini to feel everything a different way at different times. It's the built in flibbertygibbet in us.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Quintease View Post
And 5. Must like chocolate.
Quote:
Originally Posted by OS Butch View Post
Well, dang.... I guess that means we won't ever date .... I am not a chocolate lover....Odd but true....Hey wait.... Does giving chocolate count
I'd like to expound on this a little bit more. How about we take Quintease's chocolate demand and make it

And 5. Doesn't have to like or love chocolate, but must like or love giving me chocolate, in large quantities.

Is that acceptable?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Truly Scrumptious View Post
Must love mushrooms.
Two partners who hated them and one who was ambivalent about something I love so much made this a requirement.
I this.
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Old 12-21-2011, 07:41 PM   #51
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For myself, I also have a difficult time narrowing something so complex down to just three ticks on a list but these are the really, truly big ones:

1. No abuse. You will not hit me. You will not force me to do things I don't want to do (the occasional making me go out to visit Auntie Maude and Uncle Fester when I really don't feel like leaving the house is okay....). There will be no non-concentual roughness of any kind. This include physical, mental and emotional domains.

2. Mind your addictions. Non-prescription, illegal drugs are not welcome. Neither is excessive drinking. Neither is betting on the ponies. Neither is bedding anyone and/or everyone you meet. The internet is negotiable, as I have a small addiction to it as well.

3. Respect. You will give what you get with me. You give me shit, then that is what you receive. You give me kindness and consideration and respect and tenderness and you shall receive those back in spades.
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Old 12-21-2011, 09:03 PM   #52
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No lying, period. Even if my feelings could be hurt by something, I'd rather have the truth and deal with what it means.

Self-sufficiency and an adult- I am not a Daddy (no negative judgement of others in alternative types of relationships, this is just not for me).

Self-examined and aware that our actions do effect others- guess this is about not being entitled and unaware of others around us.

Have to add that I can't be with someone that drinks a lot. And I don't know if I would do well with a recovering alcoholic or other substance abuser to be honest.

Hummm... as an older person, I find that there are many things I just won't deal with that I may have in the past. Love and partnership is a wonderful thing, but I just don't have the same need for a relationship as I did earlier in my life. Maybe it is just that relationship variables have just changed as I have aged and I am used to and like living on my own. The last LTR (6 years, prior one 21 years), I did not live with my partner and it worked well for both of us. Although, we lived about 20 minutes from one another.
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Old 12-21-2011, 10:58 PM   #53
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And....you will tell me when I spell nonconsensual wrong.

BEFORE I post.

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Old 12-21-2011, 11:39 PM   #54
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1) Integrity

2) The person prefers a stone partner

3) The person consciously works towards being the best self that they can be in all areas of their life (in love, in their work, in their mental health, in their financial choices, in their family relationships, etc.)
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Old 12-21-2011, 11:42 PM   #55
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1. My toaster strudel is mine.

2. My toaster strudel is mine.

3. My toaster strudel is mine.


Some things are sacred.
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Old 12-22-2011, 12:05 AM   #56
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1. Don't spy on me. If I am doing something, it WILL be in the open. This girl is way too wise to hide.

2. I am not your "everything". We are separate entities. You can live without me. Proof - we met - therefore, you were alive previously.

3. Having super honed intuition gives me a tad leg up. Lie... I'll know. But you won't necessarily know I do. Self-Hanging is not fun to watch, but I won't intervene.
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Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

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Old 12-22-2011, 01:25 AM   #57
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I will say that three non-negotiables for ME:

1. The dogs sleep in the bed...they were here first

2. No Missouri Tiger fans. NONE. Zilch. Zero.

3. You've gotta like to go dancing! (and if you want to take some ballroom lessons with me, you get extra credit!! )

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Old 12-22-2011, 01:27 AM   #58
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ladyhawkxx View Post
WHAT?? What's this I'm reading....? Are you being totally reasonable here or what? This is incredible! A Butch with reasonable expectations for hys woman/femme! OMG - (walks directly into wall in front of me - SMAK!!) ((((((MUSTANGJEANO)))))) I think I just might love ya!!!! LH
There IS a Santa Clause, there IS a Santa Claus.!!! Thank you Dear Lady
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Old 12-24-2011, 09:40 AM   #59
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~using my child as a pawn to try to manipulate me in some way. even my own child sees through this.

~abuse of any kind whether it be verbal, emotional, or physical.

~giant egos. PASS.
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Old 12-24-2011, 10:04 AM   #60
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No alcohol

Goals in life

Self sufficient
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