The House of Stone...

[Julie]

SilverStone!

You begin by starting the idea of a great thread for those who are Stone and those who love them.

In your descriptor of what Stone Butch is, you put upon them the pronoun "Hy," perhaps without thinking, there might in fact be Female Identified Stone Butches. In fact, there are quite few here on the planet. By referring to the Masculine counter part of a Femme, as a Hy, you are in fact alienating those people, yet you are quite emphatic in stating this is for all Stone people.

Then you continue on in your writings, by making rather (excuse me) juvenile and inappropriate descriptors of your body language as it Shudders and Shivers at the thought of Lesbian Sex!

What exactly is Lesbian Sex?

I am a Lesbian and I have sex. I have been with Stone Butches, and still I was a Lesbian during that time. This part of my identity has never changed. I came out as a Lesbian in 1979 and will probably die a Lesbian, no matter what my preferences are during the times I fuck. Therefore, I must be having (gasp) lesbian sex.

But what is Lesbian Sex and why would you announce here on the Planet, where we are such a diverse group of queer people, that it is (kinda like Sushi) distasteful? Was this entire thread a setup? Seriously - I am sure you have read the TOS and have seen numerous postings where people get called out for putting other people down and passing judgment. You have been a member here almost 2 years. I think you mentioned you were on the other site. You must have known your words would have caused a reaction. It almost feels intentional.

Still want to know what Lesbian Sex is!

And another thing. You mention in your descriptor that Stone Butches who (my memory - forgive me) own their cocks, or something along those lines - perhaps, an extension of them. I have met many a Stone Butch who do not pack or fuck with cocks. Are they no longer Stone?

Was this thread a setup? I think it's a fair question.

Looking forward to hearing more about your definition of Lesbian Sex, Female ID Stone Butches, Those Stone Butches who do not wear cocks, etc.

Julie

[Jess]

Originally Posted by SilverStoneFemme

.

i made it clear that i was referring to MYSELF. Lesbian sex is not something i will ever do because, FOR ME, it's distasteful. Because i am a stonefemme.

Hi there Miss Silver,
I am by no means a "word police".. trust me.. mine get me into enough trouble, so I am surely not going to pick apart your words or your convictions.

I , as a stone butch, had some issue with your phrasing and still do. Had a good discussion about why it bothered me so with a friend who happens to be a stonefemme.

Part of what I think you may be missing in this "conversation" with people whom have voiced less than agreeable responses to your postings, is exemplified above in the quote I pulled from your last post.

When you declare in one breath that "lesbian sex" is distasteful to you and simultaneously call yourself a stonefemme, how do you think that would make someone like Cheryl S feel, who has previously stated in this thread that she is stonefemme AND lesbian? I am not sure if you get my point. ( Which is really ok in the long run)

In talking to my friend, I told her the issue I have is ANYONE trying to set such parameters for ANYONE other than themselves. While, I do understand that you are trying to come from your "me" place and stating your personal feelings of distaste for certain acts, you must know that for other stones ( like myself) out there, it was a clear dis-invite to your self defined stone party.

I am all about having a space where those of us who find our intimacy in this way can gather, get to know one another, hell hook up if that be in the cards. However, it "feels" like, unless us "other" stones fall into YOUR definition, we aren't welcome. I just think that might narrow the already minute part of this community down to nothing. Good luck with whatever part of your journey you are on. I hope it bears you well.

[WolfyOne]

Originally Posted by SilverStoneFemme

i see the word warriors are out in force.

i dislike sushi......*shutter*......even thinking about it makes me shiver.....can't help it i'm a hardcore cooked fish eater.

That someone could take MY preference about what I LIKE AND DISLIKE and apply it to a whole community of people is unbelievable. my personal dislike for something doesn't demean those who have a preference for whatever it is that i don't care for.

i have the right to have my own preferences. If someone else dislikes stone sex, and finds it distasteful, and the vast majority of folx in the queer community AREN'T stone, that is not something i take personally. It simply means to each their own and one (wo)man's meat is another (wo)man's poison.

i made it clear that i was referring to MYSELF. Lesbian sex is not something i will ever do because, FOR ME, it's distasteful. Because i am a stonefemme.

Many folx find stone sex distasteful. They are entitled to their own personal preferences....and this is not something i would ever take away from them. Let them have whatever they think is appropriate FOR THEM.

i don't demean others for they personal preferences.......don't demean me for mine.

Should i get kicked off from this website, then so be it. i'll accept it. However, i did so standing up for my own personal beliefs.

This old word warrior can't help but explain the difference in these 2 words

SHUTTER - 1. One that shuts, as:
a. A hinged cover or screen for a window, usually fitted with louvers.
b. A mechanical device of a camera that controls the duration of a photographic exposure, as by opening and closing to allow light coming through the lens to expose a plate or film.
2. shutters Music The movable louvers on a pipe organ, controlled by pedals, that open and close the swell box.
tr.v. shut·tered, shut·ter·ing, shut·ters
1. To furnish or close with shutters: locked the doors and shuttered the windows.
2. To cause to cease operations; close down

and

SHUDDER - 1. To shiver convulsively, as from fear or revulsion.
2. To vibrate; quiver:


So, if you're going to use the word, at least use the proper one
That is all... one word warrior is out of here

[spritzerJ]

Originally Posted by Jess

In talking to my friend, I told her the issue I have is ANYONE trying to set such parameters for ANYONE other than themselves. While, I do understand that you are trying to come from your "me" place and stating your personal feelings of distaste for certain acts, you must know that for other stones ( like myself) out there, it was a clear dis-invite to your self defined stone party.

I am all about having a space where those of us who find our intimacy in this way can gather, get to know one another, hell hook up if that be in the cards. However, it "feels" like, unless us "other" stones fall into YOUR definition, we aren't welcome. I just think that might narrow the already minute part of this community down to nothing. Good luck with whatever part of your journey you are on. I hope it bears you well.

Jess I am thinking "here" is a welcome place for stones of all sorts of variety. The thread was started and called the house of stone, let it be your house too.

As the conversation shapes I do hope to learn much with the planet's Stone (and Stone+ more) identified people.

Olive branch to all to enjoy a wider range of conversations.

[Jess]

Originally Posted by jenna8987

Jess I am thinking "here" is a welcome place for stones of all sorts of variety. The thread was started and called the house of stone, let it be your house too.

As the conversation shapes I do hope to learn much with the planet's Stone (and Stone+ more) identified people.

Olive branch to all to enjoy a wider range of conversations.

Thanks Jenna. I appreciate your intentions very much. I too hope it becomes a place/space for us to talk about stuff that does pertain to stone identified folks, who carry whatever other identifiers they add on to "stone". It is a very small fraction of the community and out end of the pool is rather shallow.

I will however, wait for an invite from the OP.

thank you again

[spritzerJ]

Originally Posted by Jess

Thanks Jenna. I appreciate your intentions very much. I too hope it becomes a place/space for us to talk about stuff that does pertain to stone identified folks, who carry whatever other identifiers they add on to "stone". It is a very small fraction of the community and out end of the pool is rather shallow.

I will however, wait for an invite from the OP.

thank you again

Jess, you are welcome and thank you. I do hope the invite comes. Meanwhile I think we may need a digging crew to just make the pool as deep as we want it.

[Random]

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee

i don't get how anyone can *feminize* you no matter HOW they touch, talk or look at you without your permission. No one could ever *masculinize* me no matter how they fucked me. i appreciate that people have boundaries and we all do, and we love those who do, but the word feminize feels like something bad to me when used along these lines.

Dee,

I'm faultering at starting, so please excuse me if I come off abrupt..(It's a flowers for Algernon kinda afternoon and I'm struggling to communicate effectively)

When someones outside doesn't match what's inside their head, sometime touch can effect the mental image that you are trying to reinforce.

For some reason circular motion feels feminine and strokes feel masculing.

A cupped hand feels feminine and a flat hand feels masculine..

I'm not GID nor am I a stone butch or FtM, so I don't know why it happens, but it does...

If my ex was leaning masculine he was stone and If was touching him like he was female, it felt icky and turned him off, left him cold...

I have to be honest... Sometimes it was hard ass work making love to a stone butch...

Sometimes feminize IS not a good thing....

I'm like you... No matter how you touch me (when I allow touch) I'm a woman... but my insides match my outsides, so I don't have to build anything in my head that can be ruined by someone rubbing my clit instead of jacking me off...

[apretty]

Originally Posted by SilverStoneFemme

even if you're also able to do that lesbian thing......lol.....*shutter*.....sorry, even thinking of that makes me shiver.....can't help it, i'm a hard core stonefemme............

You may be "stonefemme" but you're definitely rude.

[SilverStoneFemme]

Those stonebutches who do not want their genitalia to be touched find lesbian sex to be offensive to them PERSONALLY.

Those stonefemmes who do not want to touch the genitalia of their stonebutches find lesbian sex to be offensive to them PERSONALLY.

This is the reality for those stonebutches and stonefemmes who are NOT female genital receptive. We don't do lesbian sex. It's the way of many, many stones and we do NOT need anyone's permission or acceptance to be so.

For those people to come into OUR house and tell us we're wrong for how we think, what we feel about our OWN personal sexual activity, is beyond arrogance.

This is the way for many, many stones. You don't have to like it.

If anyone is being demeaned here, it's us.

[The_Lady_Snow]

But that's not what you said.

Should I quote you again?

Plus you've not addressed that you forgot not allll stones are hy.he

PS

one shouldn't speak for others you're stone is nowhere near my stone

[SilverStoneFemme]

[FONT="Georgia"][SIZE="3]@Random, it has nothing to do with how one is touched.

It has to do with not being touched at all. As in never.

Many, many stonebutches and stonefemme are not female genitalia receptive.

i am NOT female genitalia receptive and have been for over 25 years. i have met and known many, many stonebutches who are NOT female genitalia receptive.

Anyone who comes into our house and tells us we're wrong for feeling this way is denigrating and demeaning our identities.

We are who we are. And we have every right to be who we are.

Those who don't like us and our philosophies can go find other places more conforming to who they are and what they believe.

[/SIZE][/FONT

[The_Lady_Snow]

Just to clarify to the OP, no one is telling you what or how to be. The issue is your choice of wording and how lesbianphobic it sounds:

Originally Posted by SilverStoneFemme

You have the heart of a stonefemme even if you're also able to do that lesbian thing......lol.....*shutter*.....sorry, even thinking of that makes me shiver.....can't help it, i'm a hard core stonefemme............
Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverStoneFemme


There are things i won't do, sexually, on an every day basis. Occasionally, ok. But all the time? Nope. That's that lesbian sex and i'm not a lesbian. i'm a queer stonefemme...........

[JustJo]

Originally Posted by SilverStoneFemme

Anyone who comes into our house and tells us we're wrong for feeling this way is denigrating and demeaning our identities.

We are who we are. And we have every right to be who we are.

Hi SilverStoneFemme,

I actually came in here to read, and am honestly confused. From what I have read, no one has said that you are wrong for feeling the way you feel, or said that you don't have a right to be who you are.

What I read was that some people were offended that, while expressing what you are and feel, you also put others down with your expressions of distaste.

It's perfectly possible to express who you are without denigrating others.

For example, BDSM or being polyamorous are not part of who I am, and I cannot imagine that those things will ever change. Some parts of me are still evolving and are up for debate, but in many ways I am who I am....and who I am is pretty vanilla (with a little twist of naughty) and very much a "one person person."

In saying that I am defining myself, but I am also not putting down anyone here who embraces a different identity, lifestyle or approach.

Does that make sense?

[LadyRieinAL]

I've been called so many names - Pillow Princess being the best sounding one - and I don't try to explain who I am to those who don't understand, 'cause it doesn't matter, they're never going to get it.
My partner and I have been separated for a little over a year, we were together for almost ten years - and we've finally come to an agreement, because of many factors, but the main being because I am stone and he isn't.
It has been very scary for me to think in terms of dating again, and yet one year is enough time for me to be alone, I'm slowly allowing myself to get back into the dating circle -
So many people hate labels, but how are you to come in contact with the certain type of person you're attracted to if you don't use them.
Perhaps this is the key place to help me come in contact with someone who is interested in dating an older stone femme - I'm 57 (age being another factor) - or at least know that I have support in the type of person I am attracted to - and I don't have to be ashamed or embarrased by what I feel.
Thank you So much for opening up this thread!!

[Hollylane]

Originally Posted by SilverStoneFemme

Those stonebutches who do not want their genitalia to be touched find lesbian sex to be offensive to them PERSONALLY.

Those stonefemmes who do not want to touch the genitalia of their stonebutches find lesbian sex to be offensive to them PERSONALLY.

This is the reality for those stonebutches and stonefemmes who are NOT female genital receptive. We don't do lesbian sex. It's the way of many, many stones and we do NOT need anyone's permission or acceptance to be so.

For those people to come into OUR house and tell us we're wrong for how we think, what we feel about our OWN personal sexual activity, is beyond arrogance.

This is the way for many, many stones. You don't have to like it.

If anyone is being demeaned here, it's us.

I certainly don't mean to seem like I'm jumping on the bandwagon here, or viewed as the semantics warden. I just want to point out that the term you're using, "lesbian sex", is the sticking point for me.

There is diversity in every ID, and I know from getting to know people throughout the years, that not all Stonebutches/Stonefemmes have identical sexual preferences, and many of them ID as lesbian. So, the term "lesbian sex", in the manner you used it in, IMO, could be viewed as offensive, without a deeper description detailing that this is what Stone means to you personally.

I don't feel like any of us are saying your personal preferences are wrong. I just feel like the way that phrase is being used, implies that most or all Stones share your preferences, if they ID as Stone. In addition, I do think it may be off putting to those who view their Stone ID differently than you do, to feel welcome to join a discussion.

[SilverStoneFemme]

Originally Posted by Julie

You begin by starting the idea of a great thread for those who are Stone and those who love them.

In your descriptor of what Stone Butch is, you put upon them the pronoun "Hy," perhaps without thinking, there might in fact be Female Identified Stone Butches. In fact, there are quite few here on the planet. By referring to the Masculine counter part of a Femme, as a Hy, you are in fact alienating those people, yet you are quite emphatic in stating this is for all Stone people.

Julie

i made it quite clear at the beginning of this thread that those folx who identified with what was described as being stone were welcome to join us. HY was one of those descriptors.

i did NOT say hy without thinking. That was an intention statement. This thread is for those stones who are masculine identified and use the pronoun hy.

If the description of stone here, meaning hy, doesn't match anyone else's definition of stone, those folx can go start a thread that more clearly matches what they think is the definition of stone, including those stones who are woman identified and use the descriptors she and her.

Everyone has the right to start threads for a particular identity. Or anything else for that matter. i have started a thread here for those stones who consider themselves to be representative of the descriptors i've presented. i made it clear if they don't agree with who this group is for, they can start another thread for their own descriptors.

Yourself, included, Julie.

Don't simply disagree and criticize me for what i've done, go put your own definitions into a differnet thread.

[aishah]

(seems we were all posting at the same time...sorry if this covers ground covered in previous posts.)

i'm not sure why lesbian and stone are being posed here in opposition to one another. they are both identities. some folks here identify as BOTH. they are not kinds of sex...they are identities. some stone folks like to do certain sex acts, some don't. some lesbians like certain sex acts, some don't. some define themselves as both lesbian and stone because they don't or do like sex a certain way. others define themselves as lesbian and stone and may have sex differently. i'm really uncomfortable with the positioning of lesbian and stone as opposite to one another, on the basis of certain sex acts "belonging" to lesbian and certain sex acts "belonging" to stone. i'm not lesbian, and i am stone (though not with the exact same sex boundaries as some folks...maybe with similar boundaries to others), but it still makes me extremely uncomfortable. particularly because there are a LOT of lesbian stone femmes AND butches here. as has already been stated.

if silverstone or others don't like some sex acts and for them that is how they understand stone...that's cool. but that doesn't make some sex acts explicitly "lesbian" and others "stone." they're just sex acts. lesbian and stone are identities. none of those identities or sex acts are inherently better than another, and they do not have to be mutually exclusive.

i for one am grateful that there is another stone thread here. but i don't want having another stone thread to mean we exclude stone folks who don't define themselves exactly one way. or for it to mean that we are positioning stone as somehow opposite or exclusive of lesbian.

[BullDog]

I am a stone butch. I have lesbian sex. I may not engage in the type of sex that you define as "lesbian sex," however I am still having lesbian sex. How is that possible? Because I am a lesbian- a woman who has sex with another woman and who identities as a lesbian. I am also completely stone.

If anyone thinks it gross for two women to have sex together then that's homophobic to the extreme. There is no such thing as lesbian sex in terms of sex acts. Lesbians can have sex in whatever manner they choose- including being stone.

If there are certain sex acts that you don't enjoy that's fine, but you don't have to go ew ick. You can just talk about what you do enjoy. I don't enjoy penetration, but I also don't put down any butch that does.

You can talk about the sex and type of relationships you like without putting anyone down.

You only get to define what stone is for yourself and no one else.

I am completely fine with have a female body. I am not worried about anyone "feminizing" me and don't think it is possible for anyone to do so anyway.

I am a stone butch. I am a lesbian. I am a She.

Oh and yeah I am part of the House of Stone whether you like it or not.

Saying the same things over and over for years and years and years really does get old. Over and out.

EDIT: I am masculine and I am a She.

[aishah]

Originally Posted by SilverStoneFemme

i made it quite clear at the beginning of this thread that those folx who identified with what was described as being stone were welcome to join us. HY was one of those descriptors.

i did NOT say hy without thinking. That was an intention statement. This thread is for those stones who are masculine identified and use the pronoun hy.

If the description of stone here, meaning hy, doesn't match anyone else's definition of stone, those folx can go start a thread that more clearly matches what they think is the definition of stone, including those stones who are woman identified and use the descriptors she and her.

Everyone has the right to start threads for a particular identity. Or anything else for that matter. i have started a thread here for those stones who consider themselves to be representative of the descriptors i've presented. i made it clear if they don't agree with who this group is for, they can start another thread for their own descriptors.

Yourself, included, Julie.

Don't simply disagree and criticize me for what i've done, go put your own definitions into a differnet thread.

since my id is clearly unwelcome here, i'll be sticking to the stone femme thread...as another poster said, our part of the community is relatively small. i don't understand the point of making it even smaller, or excluding people. personally it makes me feel like crap. but that's just me.

[Random]

Originally Posted by SilverStoneFemme

[FONT="Georgia"][SIZE="3]@Random, it has nothing to do with how one is touched.

It has to do with not being touched at all. As in never.

Many, many stonebutches and stonefemme are not female genitalia receptive.

i am NOT female genitalia receptive and have been for over 25 years. i have met and known many, many stonebutches who are NOT female genitalia receptive.

Anyone who comes into our house and tells us we're wrong for feeling this way is denigrating and demeaning our identities.

We are who we are. And we have every right to be who we are.

Those who don't like us and our philosophies can go find other places more conforming to who they are and what they believe.

[/SIZE][/FONT

I was responding to Dee's comment about feminzing touch...

I am well aware of Stone.. All thee definitions of the word...

No one is coming into your house and telling you that being stone is wrong, what they are telling you is that just because you don't care for a sexual act, doesn't give you the right turn it into a gross act...

I think people are having issues with the way you worded your distane for oral sex more so than having issues with being stone...

Myself? I don't care for oral sex... I rarely perform it, or allow it performed on me... It's simply not my cup of tea...

See how I said that without making the act into an icky thing?

Not a damn thing wrong with being stone.. I rather enjoy it myself.... both definitions.. *eg*