A kiss is just a kiss

[tantalizingfemme]

So, I have an 18 year old son who will ocassionally allow me to kiss him; usually it is a congratulations, happy holidays or goodbye kiss.

Throughout his life, I was always very affectionate with him, as I grew up in a home with very little affection. As an adult, I have become more comfortable giving a hug or kiss to another adult with whom I am not partnered with.

So here is my question. When you kiss another adult, not a partner, but a family member or friend, do you kiss them on the lips or cheek? I kiss my son on the lips, as I did my father when he was alive, and family members and friends. Now, there are people where it is a cheek kiss, but I am very comfortable with kissing on the lips too. Is it odd?

I have had a conversation recently where the other person thought it was odd that I kiss my son on the lips, and I thought it was odd that I wouldn't.

I am curious as to other peoples thoughts and experiences on this.

[MrSunshine]

Inappropriate. I just had this conversation last night. I believe after age, baby, it's no longer acceptable to kiss on the mouth unless it's a lover.

[tantalizingfemme]

Originally Posted by MrSunshine

Inappropriate. I just had this conversation last night. I believe after age, baby, it's no longer acceptable to kiss on the mouth unless it's a lover.

Why do you think kissing on the lips is so intimate? I kissed my father and grandparents on the lips.... I would have never associated that kiss with an intimate kiss with a partner.

[MrSunshine]

I didn't say it was intimate. I said it was inappropriate.

I actually have had this conversation many times with sisters and lovers about their children. I just feel there is nothing "right" about letting a child (or you doing it) kiss your mouth. I haven't known or met anyone so far that disagreed.

[tantalizingfemme]

Originally Posted by MrSunshine

I didn't say it was intimate. I said it was inappropriate.

I actually have had this conversation many times with sisters and lovers about their children. I just feel there is nothing "right" about letting a child (or you doing it) kiss your mouth. I haven't known or met anyone so far that disagreed.

okay, so what is inappropriate about it? To say it is only okay to kiss a lover on the lips, to me, insinuates that kissing on the lips is an intimate act; sexually intimate. Maybe I am reading you incorrectly?

[Thinker]

We (my siblings and I) kissed our mother and father on the lips......hello, goodbye, goodnight kisses.....even as adults.

I remember seeing my adult nephew (then in his early 30s) kiss his father on the lips (hello greeting kiss).

These are quick pecks; nothing more than that.

There are families where that is the norm, and I don't think there is anything wrong with it. In my opinion, it's only inappropriate if something inappropriate or illegal is going on.

[grenade]

Originally Posted by MrSunshine

I didn't say it was intimate. I said it was inappropriate.

I actually have had this conversation many times with sisters and lovers about their children. I just feel there is nothing "right" about letting a child (or you doing it) kiss your mouth. I haven't known or met anyone so far that disagreed.

I disagree. I'm not sure where you're from but in a lot of places it's cultural to kiss on the lips and to not do so would be offensive.

I kiss family members on the lips. Aunts, Uncles, Father, Brother. Always have, always will. It's just how we do. I kiss my children on the lips and will continue for as long as they let me. For now, I get big brown eyes looking up at me and a pouty little set of puckered lips if I try a quick forehead kiss. Im hoping this never changes.

She's been gone 18 years but I can close my eyes and still recall my mother's lips. The way she pressed them to my forehead or a gentle peck on my lips. I'm so thankful for this specific memory. It calms me sometimes when nothing else can. Kisses are good, sometimes they last forever.

[princessbelle]

I've never really thought about this before. Good thread.

I believe it's just how you were taught or brought up, right? Traditions in our families and how we were taught to kiss seems to just keep flowing to the next generations, at least for the most part.

I only kiss my partner on the lips. For one thing, i'm sorta a germ freak, and germs can be transmitted by saliva and i don't want to catch or receive anything, especially from Uncles and Aunts and stuff...just my hangup.

As far as my kids, i've always just kissed on the cheeks, but again if i had been raised to kiss on the lips i would continue to do so. There is nothing icky about that or wrong or inappropriate in my book. I think it's just what you are used to doing.

A kiss is a sign of affection, not intimacy. We all love many people. There is nothing wrong with the way any of us do it, IMO.

We do way more hugging in my "family" than kissing. I dare say we hug about everyone that walks in our doors.

My little momma i kiss on top of the head, cause, well, she is about 4'10 and that's just handy for me.

[Christy51274]

It all comes down to what we as individuals are comfortable with. I, too, kissed my father on the lips (a quick peck) growing up. I think it's sad that some people equate kissing with the mouth as always being sexual or erotic. Just as there are different ways to express affection, there are different types of kisses.

My son is 12 and we still kiss on the lips. I respect everyone's feelings regarding this topic, however those who sexualize an act as innocent as this one, probably have their own hang-ups they need to deal with.

Kissing makes us happy!