What are your faults?

[nycfem]

What are some of your faults, as perceived by you or by others? Feel free to clarify, if you want, whether this is something you've been told by others or whether it's something you came up with by yourself.

This is a listening thread so please do not respond to posts by others.

Also, please try not to disguise compliments as faults, tell where you think your faults stem from, or justify or add a "but" when describing a fault.

I don't think of this as a negative exercise. I think it shows an ability to be humble, reflective, and aware. It's hard to acknowledge and let stand one's weaknesses for the world to see, and I think it takes courage and is worthy of respect. I think it's an intimate and vulnerable way to get to know someone else.

Here are some of my faults, just off the top of my head:

1) I've been told that at times it's hard to bring up any minor criticism of me or issue of conflict with me because I tend to react unnecessarily strongly about it, crying and wanting to go over every aspect of the issue. People close to me have said that it creates an effect of needing to "walk on eggshells" or a desire not to even bring up a small issue because I will turn it into a big deal.

2) When someone else brings up an issue of conflict or I do, I've been told that I ask a lot of questions at once and very detailed and that it feels like being on trial with no right answer, that it's exhausting.

3) I'm often controlling.

4) I take on too much with the wish to please others at my own expense.

5) I'm overly anxious.

There's more but that's a good start

[Ciaran]

I can be incredibly intolerant of those whose perspective on life or belief system differs significantly from my own.


I tend to be very judgemental - both of myself and others around me.


I'm not good at communicating my mood - a lot of people, unless they know me well, think I'm constantly in a bad mood.

[meridiantoo]

Originally Posted by Ciaran

I can be incredibly intolerant of those whose perspective on life or belief system differs significantly from my own.


I tend to be very judgemental - both of myself and others around me.


I'm not good at communicating my mood - a lot of people, unless they know me well, think I'm constantly in a bad mood.

Oh, you mentioned 2 others I (conveniently) omitted:

4) Intolerant of people who do not agree with me


5) I can be judgmental also

[Gráinne]

Originally Posted by Ciaran

I'm not good at communicating my mood - a lot of people, unless they know me well, think I'm constantly in a bad mood.

Me also, probably partly from upbringing, and always had problems getting my facial expression to match what I actually felt. I tend to smile too much regardless of my real mood, though.

[~ocean]

I look threw rose tinted glass' too much
very sensitive
emotional and emotionaly needy at times when i am feeling down
quiet
defensive when i feel threatened
passive to the point where i let ppl walk all over me
fiery
I like to kiss alot
my own worst enemy

[nycfem]

When someone suggests a different way of doing things, my initial reaction is to become very defensive of why that would not work and why things should stay the same. I'm initially jarred by having to consider a change and express it by becoming verbally aggressive.

[Ciaran]

Originally Posted by nycfembbw

When someone suggests a different way of doing things, my initial reaction is to become very defensive of why that would not work and why things should stay the same. I'm initially jarred by having to consider a change and express it by becoming verbally aggressive.

That's a good point. I'm not sure if it's necessarily under the banner of verbal aggression and it can as often be in written form as verbal, but I will often use innocuous language in a calculated way to express disdain at at viewpoint I disagree with.


My instinct is often to look for the worst in people.


I tend to react uncomfortably rather than with compassion when people are upset.



I can lose patience with people very quickly and appear dismissive.


I often put work interests in front of friends.

[deb0670]

i trust first, 100% then ask questions later.
i am too emotional
i do not think that highly about myself.. much

[macele]

sometimes, not all the time, i don't stand up for myself. and sometimes there's a build up. if i don't speak up and then finally do (may not be about the same issue), ... i could possibly show a little bit of anger. i don't want to hurt others feelings. so i suffer. it's not a good thing. NO! i need to say that more often.

i am probably in the worlds worst category to procrastinate.

insecurity. i have been dishonest because i don't want to seem weak. because i don't want to look like i don't know what i'm doing. age has helped with this.

laughing at the wrong times LOL. like right now. someone told me one time that i hurt their feelings. i didn't mean too. it's a habit. i'm working on that. maybe.

there's more!

[StrongButch]

1) Im very strong and want others to be the same way 2) I was spoiled as a child and still am 3) Im stubborn. Theres more gotta think awhile. (lol)

[Talon]

I can be emotionally distant, which can hurt people's feelings.

I can become distracted, and that can cause people to feel neglected.

My standards can be too unachievabley high, at times...for myself as well as others...and this causes undo pressure.

I'm not comfortable with showing my feelings...or talking about them.




*Interesting thread idea, nycfembbw.

[Yard]

Very honest and candid response.

[girllikeu2]

I am a big jerk. I am not even ashamed about it.

[Vivacious1]

1) Stubborn
2) Bitchy
3) Bossy
4) OCD
5) Over anyalyze everything!
6) Jaded
7) I take in strays
8) I am very hard on myself, others

[meridiantoo]

My faults include, but are not limited to:

1) Indecisiveness (I think? Maybe? Not sure? Well, okay, sometimes)


2) Prone to stick my head in the sand like an ostrich when conflict surfaces until I am ready to deal with it

3) Emotionally reactive/Defensive

[Gráinne]

*I'm very quiet and don't show feelings often.

* I can be hassle-adverse and avoid conflict, even if when this is a bad idea and I need to act.

* I can be introverted to the point of being a hermit. (Introverted itself isn't a fault, but tending not to hold up friendships is).

* I've been told that I can't walk through a room without leaving some trace of my presence. My home life can be very disorganized without effort, while I'm the opposite at work. That one's getting better, though.

[Queenie]

My biggest fault is my shyness. It has taken so much from me over the years. The older I get and my sweet husband have both helped me kinda over come it. Yes, I am still really shy, but its not as bad as it was, say ten years ago.

Other faults of mine: I have a hard time letting people in. I have been told I am a hard nut to crack.

I smoke way too much. That is a fault, right?

(Going to call my sister to see what other faults I may have..)

[midwest chick]

thinking that self-imposed social isolation is protective, not sometimes, but ALL the time...

Not sure if I'm all that shy, or just afraid of people.

Smoking.

Taking too long to think about things, when I should be talking about them, or acting on them. Unless I'm at work, and there's an emergent situation. Or my children need something. ?? Form of procrastination??

and I'm with Belle on this -- As a nurse I care way too much, and even personally, I can't leave that nurse at work (follows me everywhere) which is both a strength and a weakness.

many, many more, this one feels like peeling the layers from an onion...

[Sweet Bliss]

Pushing against the tide to reconcile.... aka

[WingsOnFire]

My major one is being too emotional... letting things hurt my feelings too easily... not being able to take things in stride better... sigh...