Ask a trans person!

[Billy]

Originally Posted by Jet

I start t on tuesday

Congrats to you !

[The Oopster]

Originally Posted by Jet

I start t on tuesday

congrats on this milestone!

[Dylan]

A couple of other questions:

1. Have you found that people expect you to be more in control of your reactions/emotions to things? I get excited about some things, and I'm noticing there's a reprimand accompanied with getting too excited.

2. Have you found that (if you're read as straight) more people assume it's acceptable to make homophobic jokes and comments in your presence?


Thanks,
Dylan

[theoddz]

Originally Posted by Dylan

A couple of other questions:

1. Have you found that people expect you to be more in control of your reactions/emotions to things? I get excited about some things, and I'm noticing there's a reprimand accompanied with getting too excited.

2. Have you found that (if you're read as straight) more people assume it's acceptable to make homophobic jokes and comments in your presence?


Thanks,
Dylan

Hey Dylan,

1. Yes, I think people within the so-called "lines" of binary hetero-norm expect ALL males, and those who are perceived as male, to "man up" and not be emotional. I think society frowns upon men for owning and expressing emotions, period.

2. Yes, I'm sad to say that, yes, for some odd reason, it's been MY experience that men, in particular, seem to feel that they have license to spout all kinds of bad taste "jokes", comments and such in front of other (and perceived) males. I won't tolerate that, for my part. Same thing with misogynistic or racial disrespect. I will call it out and let the offender know that that sort of thing is not appreciated. Unless more of us do that and have the courage to stand our (moral) ground by calling it out, then it just goes on. Lack of objection to that sort of thing is, in my mind, the same as condoning it.

~Theo~

[Liam]

Originally Posted by Dylan

A couple of other questions:

1. Have you found that people expect you to be more in control of your reactions/emotions to things? I get excited about some things, and I'm noticing there's a reprimand accompanied with getting too excited.

2. Have you found that (if you're read as straight) more people assume it's acceptable to make homophobic jokes and comments in your presence?


Thanks,
Dylan

1. No.
2. Yes.

[atomiczombie]

It's been 2 weeks now on Androgel and the only thing I have noticed is my skin is a little more oily than usual. Not that I expect any real changes this early, mind you. It's odd, because the increase in the sebum has actually made the skin on my face softer than before. Kinda weird.

[The Oopster]

Originally Posted by Dylan

A couple of other questions:

1. Have you found that people expect you to be more in control of your reactions/emotions to things? I get excited about some things, and I'm noticing there's a reprimand accompanied with getting too excited.

2. Have you found that (if you're read as straight) more people assume it's acceptable to make homophobic jokes and comments in your presence?


Thanks,
Dylan

1. i found that people expected my emotional response to stay the same and it hasn't, it has shifted. I still get a bit teary eyed when I see something that tugs at my heart but not like i use to. I'm much calmer and just don't rile as easily

2. I don't get the homophobic jokes but I do get more of the bad taste jokes and comments.

[Billy]

Originally Posted by Dylan

A couple of other questions:

1. Have you found that people expect you to be more in control of your reactions/emotions to things? I get excited about some things, and I'm noticing there's a reprimand accompanied with getting too excited.

2. Have you found that (if you're read as straight) more people assume it's acceptable to make homophobic jokes and comments in your presence?


Thanks,
Dylan

1. I have changed so much since I started 3 years ago ...I am very calm , focused and happy , with that said I know in the beginning if I where to get mad or upset the response was , you need to calm down that T is working overtime .. No the T is not working overtime your just a idiot ...


2.That hasn't changed , they make them either way ...

[Thinker]

Originally Posted by Dylan

A couple of other questions:

1. Have you found that people expect you to be more in control of your reactions/emotions to things? I get excited about some things, and I'm noticing there's a reprimand accompanied with getting too excited.

2. Have you found that (if you're read as straight) more people assume it's acceptable to make homophobic jokes and comments in your presence?


Thanks,
Dylan

1. I have not noticed that *others* expect that of me, but I can think of a few occasions when *I* curbed reactions to a level I thought more......I don't know......."acceptable"......??? Don't know the best word to use there...

2. Oh yeah......for sure. And not just homophobic.......racist, size-ist, and misogynistic, as well. And, yes, I do find a way to let the offender know his brand of humor isn't funny, appropriate, or considerate. I've gotten pretty deep into it with a couple of guys......one for calling a dealer friend of mine "fat boy" and another for making sexual comments to another dealer friend.

I'm amazed at how incredibly disgusting/rude/mean/cruel/etc...some people are. Blows my friggin' mind!

[CamBAMF]

Originally Posted by Dylan

1. Have you found that people expect you to be more in control of your reactions/emotions to things? I get excited about some things, and I'm noticing there's a reprimand accompanied with getting too excited.

2. Have you found that (if you're read as straight) more people assume it's acceptable to make homophobic jokes and comments in your presence?

1) Yea I totally get that all the time. Actually, it's funny only because that seems to give people the idea that I'm a gay man.

2) I don't get this, but that could be that I only really hang with people who are lesbian/gay, people who knew me before my transition, and other social work majors. I'm very weary about who I'm hanging out with. (I can have some serisou anxiety)

[Soon]

It may not seem possible to those of us who gaze longingly at Canada's progressive laws for LGBT citizens, but transgender folks are not explicitly protected by anti-discrimination legislation there. That may be about to change.

A private member’s bill seeking human-rights protection for transgender and transsexual Canadians passed second reading in the House of Commons on June 8. The third time might be the charm for Bill Siksay, the NDP MP for Burnaby-Douglas, who has tabled similar bills twice before, none of which have made it this far in the legislative process. “This is a big, historic step,” Siksay told the Straight in a phone interview from Ottawa. “It’s an indication that there is interest and support for this.” Bill C-389 seeks to amend the Canadian Human Rights Act and Criminal Code to add gender identity and gender expression as prohibited grounds for discrimination. Siksay, the NDP’s critic for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender issues, said there wasn’t any “outright” opposition to the bill, which was supported by Liberal, NDP, and Bloc Québécois MPs.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper's Conservative government says the trans rights act is "redundant and that trans people are already protected under the grounds of sex and disability in the Canadian Human Rights Act." They also complain that the bill doesn't define gender identity and gender expression. The bill now moves to the House of Commons Standing Committee on Justice and Human Rights for "detailed consideration."

[Jet]

I'm typing from my blackberry
Until I get my computer back.

Question...

I am a contract designer looking to go full time. Since
I.M starting T now I want apply at And be accepted at companies with diversity policies. I'm thinking of submitting

My resume
Portfolio
Summary of experience
And....
A letter to HR addressing my transition under the company
Diversity policy.

Should I include the letter at the. onset of applying?

What bathroom do I use?

Etc.

[Dylan]

Originally Posted by Jet

I'm typing from my blackberry
Until I get my computer back.

Question...

I am a contract designer looking to go full time. Since
I.M starting T now I want apply at And be accepted at companies with diversity policies. I'm thinking of submitting

My resume
Portfolio
Summary of experience
And....
A letter to HR addressing my transition under the company
Diversity policy.

Should I include the letter at the. onset of applying?

What bathroom do I use?

Etc.

Don't think that just because a company has a diversity policy, they actually *believe* what's IN the policy.

I have interviewed at NUMEROUS companies that have gender identity included in their diversity policies.

I've found, it doesn't matter what the companies' attorneys/HR people have written into their policies to make the company look good and to avoid lawsuits, if your interviewer is ignorant, you're still not going to get a job. And ignorant doesn't have to mean bigoted...when people are afraid of looking stupid or saying the wrong thing, they still won't hire you...no matter how liberal they *feel*.

Personally, I wouldn't say a word about trans issues until WELL into the interview process. If you're read as male at the interview, I wouldn't say a word until someone else brings it up.

But that's just me.


Dylan...would use the men's room

[The Oopster]

Originally Posted by Dylan

Don't think that just because a company has a diversity policy, they actually *believe* what's IN the policy.

I have interviewed at NUMEROUS companies that have gender identity included in their diversity policies.

I've found, it doesn't matter what the companies' attorneys/HR people have written into their policies to make the company look good and to avoid lawsuits, if your interviewer is ignorant, you're still not going to get a job. And ignorant doesn't have to mean bigoted...when people are afraid of looking stupid or saying the wrong thing, they still won't hire you...no matter how liberal they *feel*.

Personally, I wouldn't say a word about trans issues until WELL into the interview process. If you're read as male at the interview, I wouldn't say a word until someone else brings it up.

But that's just me.


Dylan...would use the men's room

I agree with everything Dylan says.

I have had to bring it up mainly because I've been trying to get back into a company i use to work for, so they have to have my old name. I leave it til the end so that hopefully i've already made some type of impression that can out way the other. I use the mens bathroom and I use the name I wish to be addressed by on my resume. Only give out my legal name when it needs to be. Since my name isn't legally changed yet it does need to be.

I do have the advantage that the past two jobs i've worked for they do know me as koop and they are smaller companies so i can be addressed by my chosen name and they'll know who is being asked about.

I feel like the less I make an issue of it the less it will be an issue. Doesn't mean it couldn't be, but sometimes things become a bigger deal when I make them one.

[weatherboi]

i would wait till you have been interviewed and almost hired...no sense in jinxing your chances at a good job...you may want to go as far as getting some legal advice...using the men's restroom may be your best bet...go ahead and set a precedence for yourself. good luck

Grant

Originally Posted by Jet

I'm typing from my blackberry
Until I get my computer back.

Question...

I am a contract designer looking to go full time. Since
I.M starting T now I want apply at And be accepted at companies with diversity policies. I'm thinking of submitting

My resume
Portfolio
Summary of experience
And....
A letter to HR addressing my transition under the company
Diversity policy.

Should I include the letter at the. onset of applying?

What bathroom do I use?

Etc.

[Jet]

I would to talk with HR people
And legal.

If I would get hired tomorrow I wouldn't pass. They would see the transitiopn process. This is the reason I feel In forming them at the onset is important. I met an FTM from turner broadcast who is in transit. HR there issued a. Memo to fellow workers about his transition and that they were to be respectful and supportive.

[Blade]

Originally Posted by Jet

I would to talk with HR people
And legal.

If I would get hired tomorrow I wouldn't pass. They would see the transitiopn process. This is the reason I feel In forming them at the onset is important. I met an FTM from turner broadcast who is in transit. HR there issued a. Memo to fellow workers about his transition and that they were to be respectful and supportive.

That's cool, that should be a federal law

[Thinker]

Originally Posted by Jet

I met an FTM from turner broadcast who is in transit. HR there issued a. Memo to fellow workers about his transition and that they were to be respectful and supportive.

Sure. And I would hope that would be the case. BUT.

That is very different from *applying* for jobs......in the "cold calling" sense. My position about leaving HR out of it has to do with applying.....not dealing with someone who already has a job.

Sorry for any confusion there...

[Thinker]

Originally Posted by Jet

I'm typing from my blackberry
Until I get my computer back.

Question...

I am a contract designer looking to go full time. Since
I.M starting T now I want apply at And be accepted at companies with diversity policies. I'm thinking of submitting

My resume
Portfolio
Summary of experience
And....
A letter to HR addressing my transition under the company
Diversity policy.

Should I include the letter at the. onset of applying?

What bathroom do I use?

Etc.

First off......and this is just *me*......I wouldn't put myself under the stress of applying for a new job at the same time I'm beginning my medical transition.......unless, of course, you absolutely have no choice.

Secondly, I think you need to go about the process in the way that feels best and most right *to you*. Personally, I would not fool with HR until I had to......certainly not prior to even securing an interview.

I think there are a number of correct ways to go about this; you have to find the way that feels most right for you.

And I'd use the men's room. If you are introducing yourself as Parker and presenting yourself as the man you are, then the men's room is the only option.

[The Oopster]

Originally Posted by Jet

I disagree with responses about how to tackle jobs while
Trnsitioing.

Thnks for your input.

Originally Posted by Dylan

Jet,

Can I ask where you live? What state?

Employment is the toughest issue for transfolks. The gender identity clause in many places is merely lip service.

I seriously would NOT come out as trans at an interview. I've done it, and I won't do it again.

If you come out at an interview, and you don't get hired, there's nothing you can do about it.

If you ensure you have the job first, and they fire you when you come out, you will be able to cover your ass better.

Since deciding to transition, I have been an many job interviews (after losing my job the day after coming out as trans).

Before I applied anywhere, though, I would look into what my city, county, and state have to say about gender identity, so I know what companies are 'supposed to' abide by.


Dylan

Originally Posted by Thinker

First off......and this is just *me*......I wouldn't put myself under the stress of applying for a new job at the same time I'm beginning my medical transition.......unless, of course, you absolutely have no choice.

Secondly, I think you need to go about the process in the way that feels best and most right *to you*. Personally, I would not fool with HR until I had to......certainly not prior to even securing an interview.

I think there are a number of correct ways to go about this; you have to find the way that feels most right for you.

And I'd use the men's room. If you are introducing yourself as Parker and presenting yourself as the man you are, then the men's room is the only option.

I agree with thinker and Dylan that there are lots of things that go into it, and ultimately it is what you are comfortable with.

I know for me, I am speaking from my experience not from what I "think." My strategy has changed over time.

The job I currently have I've never really addressed the issue. I'm a courrier and seldom in the office. At first they called me she and over the past year without me even saying he or anything they call me he and the one that has the most troubles I'll catch him correcting himself. Since I'm not in the office, it just wasn't worth investing energy into it. If they called me she to a customer the customer just looked at them crazy. I deliver to a lot of the studio lots and other businesses including government agencies where I have to present my government id which has my birth name and gender on it. Despite that I am still 99.99% of the time he'd. If someone says something about the name I just make a joke about it. My work ID has my chosen name and actually more often that is commented on since it's original and my first name is the first part of my last name. Again I just make a joke about it. That my parents wanted to keep things simple. If I feel the there is a vested relationship then i may address the issue but on the most part the job I currently have I'm lucky if I seem the same people twice in one week for more then a couple minutes so it's just not worth making a big deal. I've learned that by making a big deal about it and it's just not worth it, for someone I don't know that i may not see again.

The job I had before this which I really was in the beginning of transition and did a lot of my transition during it. I applied under my chosen name didn't bring up the issue but one of my bosses was intuitive and sensitive to the issue and in the first week approached me and how I wanted to be addressed. Made sure that all the employess called me he. Again it was a service job and some of the customers still perceived me as she. There were a few that if appropriate I would bring it up in passing conversation but again it just wasn't worth it.

More recently I've been applying for an old company i use to work for and the more comfortable interviews have been the ones where I've addressed it at the end. Still haven't gotten a job with them and in my head it's hard not to think that it's partly because of being trans, they just may not want to deal with possible issues that could arise, but there is no way of knowing that, it honestly could be something else.

If i end up looking for jobs with other companies I won't address it til it needs to be and only if it needs to be.

Again I've gotten to this point by trial and errror and what works best for me. One thing that helped me was by sending out different types of coverletters and resumes to different perspective employers and going with whatever in the end got the best results.

I have work lapses in my employment history also, because of physical disability, and in that i wanted to be honest about it at first also, but have found that anything like that is best to avoid until i get the interview and am in the office where I'm able to make a legitimate impression versus a preceived impression.

Again ultimately you have to deal with it in your own way and chances are it is a process that will develope through your own trial and error.