What are your three non-negotiables (in a relationship)? - Page 13

Jar · 01-17-2014, 06:51 PM

1. Communication
2. Honesty
3. Fidelity

Sweet Bliss · 01-17-2014, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MysticOceansFL

Sweet Bliss ;
An IQ over 130
A wide vocabulary and the ability to use it with relish
Willingness to get downright filthy!

Well, everyone is smart in their own way so I wouldn't place a limit on someone's ability.

Having a wide range of vocabulary and the ability to use it with relish is nice but willingness to use it in a down right filthy way. I guess it would be great but anyone can use vocabulary well in that way but wouldn't that after a while getting a little redundant like reading fifty shades of grey eh? I mean that's just mhop, besides I prefer the real deal.

I took Daktari's post to be three separate things.

High IQ, fancy word user, and a lover that likes being super naughty.

I don't think my brain would work to use big fancy words while being loving. In fact, getting kissed good and proper leaves me breathless and brainless. So much for IQ points,

And I don't know what the 50 shades of grey/mud reference is about.

kittygrrl · 01-17-2014, 08:52 PM

tenacity
unconditional
patient

Sweet Bliss · 01-19-2014, 08:14 PM

omg... Are we looking for a Golden Retriever ?

C0LLETTE · 01-19-2014, 08:26 PM

worship me
adore me
make me laugh

btw I don't think we should pick apart other people's choices here.

kylieluvsart · 01-20-2014, 06:29 AM

hi everyone.
my three and this comes from experience .
complete honesty.
a job stable job.
mentally and emotionally stable
not addicted to anything ...ok it was four.

01-20-2014, 06:31 AM

No caffeine users
No sugar users
No Nicotine users

Sweet Bliss · 01-20-2014, 08:20 AM

Someone pointed out to me that I have AT LEAST 12 non-negotiables..... I lost count after 20

What was that quote? Oh yah I remember now.

Expectations are premeditated resentments.

Thank you Big Book.

01-20-2014, 09:02 AM

A non shedding coat
Not yappy
A cold, wet nose!

Sweet Bliss · 01-20-2014, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daktari

A non shedding coat
Not yappy
A cold, wet nose!

Poodle! !

Bèsame* · 01-20-2014, 09:54 AM

Open mind
energy for hours
Teacher of new things

Teddybear · 01-20-2014, 10:18 AM

Honesty no matter what tell me the truth not what U think I want to hear

Willingness to b an equal partner

Hood sense of humor know how to take a joke and give also

I have more but that's a start

silkepus · 01-20-2014, 11:02 AM

Must be able to sit through a Lord of The Rings extended version marathon- I have no time for weakness.

*Anya* · 01-20-2014, 11:02 AM

Everything that I wrote when this thread was started in December, 2011, still holds true for me.

I left out one thing.

I can write one item as a very, very, big part of a healthy relationship and very non-negotionable:

1. Laughter
2. Laughter
3. More laughter

My GF makes me laugh all of the time.

She can give me a look, when she can tell I am a tad peeved about something, that will cause me to burst out laughing.

My laughter can make me melt into a ball of romantic vulnerability.

I can take pretty much everything too seriously.

She helps me to separate out which ones that I should take seriously and which ones require laughter.

I think laughter is as much the glue for a good relationship, as is great sex, excellent communication, fidelity and honesty.

01-20-2014, 11:18 AM

Debt free
Emotionally literate
Musician

C0LLETTE · 01-20-2014, 12:29 PM

I really do have to find you:

intelligent and curious,
witty and clever,
warm and affectionate

and preferably close by or willing to relocate.

Martina · 01-20-2014, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by silkepus

Must be able to sit through a Lord of The Rings extended version marathon- I have no time for weakness.

Best post of 2014 so far. lol.

Candelion · 01-21-2014, 10:06 AM

1. Complete devotion and loyalty to each other.

2. A shared sense of humor.

3. Mind blowing sex.

Paradox · 01-22-2014, 09:19 PM

Trust/Honesty: If things are not going well we must be able to talk and share. Not any of I had an affair BS 'after' the fact.

Integrity: Be genuine, hold true to your values/virtues.

Humour: The ability to laugh at yourself.

A few more but this is the gist of it.

DJ4321 · 04-12-2014, 08:07 AM

First, thanks for this thread. I've read most of the other posts and totally agree that 1)Honesty; 2) Integrity; 3) Fidelity
I would have to add Understanding (If you expect me to forgive your shortcomings, be prepared to forgive mine-we are afterall, both human); No drama--if I want drama, I'll watch it on television. I expect some drama from a femme (Ok, OK, now don't take offense at that, it's just been my experience is all), but let's sit down and talk like the two adults we claim to be and do it without drama; Loving, compassionate, able to accept all the love and tenderness I want to shower you with; My strength, my heart, my love is yours--take it but handle it with CARE.
OK, so I guess that's a few more than three, but they would be my deal breakers.

I'd like to point out that none of my deal breakers have anything to do with any physical characterstics or flaws. They are all nontangible---the things that really matter in life.

01-17-2014, 06:51 PM	#241
Jar Member How Do You Identify?: TG Butch Preferred Pronoun?: He, him, da bomb... Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Up and to the right Posts: 610 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 869 Thanked 2,342 Times in 534 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	1. Communication 2. Honesty 3. Fidelity __________________ *~ Jar ~* No matter what life brings you, always learn a lesson from your dog ... kick some grass over that shit and move on

01-17-2014, 08:52 PM	#243
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: her poison apple Preferred Pronoun?: b. grrl Relationship Status: Dreamweaver Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: real close Posts: 8,814 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,386 Thanked 21,382 Times in 6,730 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	tenacity unconditional patient __________________ "All cruelty springs from weakness" Seneca

01-20-2014, 09:54 AM	#251
Bèsame* Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femm Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: ☀️☀️☀️ Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Closer to the waves Posts: 14,779 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 28,405 Thanked 39,547 Times in 10,211 Posts Rep Power: 21474862	Open mind energy for hours Teacher of new things __________________ kisses A kiss is a whisper in your mouth. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back.

01-20-2014, 11:02 AM	#253
silkepus Member How Do You Identify?: covered in ink and glitter Preferred Pronoun?: feminine ones Relationship Status: watching pictures of cats on tumblr Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: Scandinavia Posts: 382 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 359 Thanked 702 Times in 196 Posts Rep Power: 10186796	Must be able to sit through a Lord of The Rings extended version marathon- I have no time for weakness. __________________ I’m here, I’m queer, sorry I’m late I overslept

01-20-2014, 11:02 AM	#254
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,791 Times in 7,290 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Everything that I wrote when this thread was started in December, 2011, still holds true for me. I left out one thing. I can write one item as a very, very, big part of a healthy relationship and very non-negotionable: 1. Laughter 2. Laughter 3. More laughter My GF makes me laugh all of the time. She can give me a look, when she can tell I am a tad peeved about something, that will cause me to burst out laughing. My laughter can make me melt into a ball of romantic vulnerability. I can take pretty much everything too seriously. She helps me to separate out which ones that I should take seriously and which ones require laughter. I think laughter is as much the glue for a good relationship, as is great sex, excellent communication, fidelity and honesty. __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner

01-19-2014, 08:14 PM	#244
Sweet Bliss Senior Member How Do You Identify?: I Am Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: solo Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: the Beach, Pacific side Posts: 4,160 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,354 Thanked 7,264 Times in 2,158 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	omg... Are we looking for a Golden Retriever ?

01-19-2014, 08:26 PM	#245
C0LLETTE Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Depends on the day. Preferred Pronoun?: "I" and "we" Relationship Status: Very good. Thank you for asking. Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 11,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,676 Thanked 15,261 Times in 4,345 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	worship me adore me make me laugh btw I don't think we should pick apart other people's choices here.

01-20-2014, 06:29 AM	#246
kylieluvsart Junior Member How Do You Identify?: butch Preferred Pronoun?: i like being called a boi Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Geelong Australia Posts: 2 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5 Thanked 4 Times in 2 Posts Rep Power: 0	hi everyone. my three and this comes from experience . complete honesty. a job stable job. mentally and emotionally stable not addicted to anything ...ok it was four.

01-20-2014, 06:31 AM	#247
Daktari Guest Tournaments Won: 1 Posts: n/a My Photo Gallery	No caffeine users No sugar users No Nicotine users

01-20-2014, 08:20 AM	#248
Sweet Bliss Senior Member How Do You Identify?: I Am Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: solo Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: the Beach, Pacific side Posts: 4,160 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,354 Thanked 7,264 Times in 2,158 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Someone pointed out to me that I have AT LEAST 12 non-negotiables..... I lost count after 20 What was that quote? Oh yah I remember now. Expectations are premeditated resentments. Thank you Big Book.

01-20-2014, 09:02 AM	#249
Daktari Guest Tournaments Won: 1 Posts: n/a My Photo Gallery	A non shedding coat Not yappy A cold, wet nose!

01-20-2014, 10:18 AM	#252
Teddybear Senior Member How Do You Identify?: by my name Preferred Pronoun?: He, him Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Here there everywhere. Posts: 2,097 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,620 Thanked 6,239 Times in 1,687 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Honesty no matter what tell me the truth not what U think I want to hear Willingness to b an equal partner Hood sense of humor know how to take a joke and give also I have more but that's a start

01-20-2014, 11:18 AM	#255
Daktari Guest Tournaments Won: 1 Posts: n/a My Photo Gallery	Debt free Emotionally literate Musician

01-20-2014, 12:29 PM	#256
C0LLETTE Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Depends on the day. Preferred Pronoun?: "I" and "we" Relationship Status: Very good. Thank you for asking. Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 11,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,676 Thanked 15,261 Times in 4,345 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	I really do have to find you: intelligent and curious, witty and clever, warm and affectionate and preferably close by or willing to relocate. __________________ ______________________________ ______________________________

01-21-2014, 10:06 AM	#258
Candelion Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: she/her/you Relationship Status: He can till my field. Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Canada Posts: 1,317 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,396 Thanked 4,035 Times in 897 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	1. Complete devotion and loyalty to each other. 2. A shared sense of humor. 3. Mind blowing sex.

01-22-2014, 09:19 PM	#259
Paradox Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Constant Outsider - Humanist Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: Toronto - Canada Posts: 59 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 57 Thanked 191 Times in 49 Posts Rep Power: 1217576	Trust/Honesty: If things are not going well we must be able to talk and share. Not any of I had an affair BS 'after' the fact. Integrity: Be genuine, hold true to your values/virtues. Humour: The ability to laugh at yourself. A few more but this is the gist of it.

04-12-2014, 08:07 AM	#260
DJ4321 Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: Friendships Welcome Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: Minneapolis Posts: 23 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21 Thanked 88 Times in 19 Posts Rep Power: 973264	First, thanks for this thread. I've read most of the other posts and totally agree that 1)Honesty; 2) Integrity; 3) Fidelity I would have to add Understanding (If you expect me to forgive your shortcomings, be prepared to forgive mine-we are afterall, both human); No drama--if I want drama, I'll watch it on television. I expect some drama from a femme (Ok, OK, now don't take offense at that, it's just been my experience is all), but let's sit down and talk like the two adults we claim to be and do it without drama; Loving, compassionate, able to accept all the love and tenderness I want to shower you with; My strength, my heart, my love is yours--take it but handle it with CARE. OK, so I guess that's a few more than three, but they would be my deal breakers. I'd like to point out that none of my deal breakers have anything to do with any physical characterstics or flaws. They are all nontangible---the things that really matter in life.