Grieving

[VintageFemme]

Sadly, a topic I am all too familiar with. Until I was 46, I had not dealt with death or any real grieving process whatsoever. I thought I had been blessed beyond belief to have lived that long and to never have lost anyone or anything that belonged to my heart. I have been in love twice in my life. Both of those people passed away within nine months of each other in 2006/07. One was tragically killed in a motorcycle accident and the other died from stage four melanoma. I had no idea just how deep those wounds went. I had no idea how to even begin to grieve. I pushed it all as deeply within myself as I possibly could and thought I wouldn't look back on it and I wouldn't remember and I would just move forward. I learned in a very hard way that you simply cannot do that. You have to grieve and you have to let it wash over you. You have to accept the pain and embrace it for what it is if you are to ever move past it. Once I did that [over two years later] then I began to understand what it meant to me to love both of them and moreso, what it meant to me to lose both of them. It took me a few years to deal with it and it was probably the darkest days of my life once I finally opened the bleeding wounds. There was a period of about three months when I actually was mute. I couldn't speak and I wouldn't respond. It was pretty overwhelming but y'know what? I lived through it, I accepted it, and now I can breathe again in a quiet, calm and peaceful place. I can remember both of them with joy and love and not the all consuming sadness and anger that was once all I felt after they were gone. I think this grieving process is different for everyone. I think we all have internal modes of self preservation and survival and what is strong enough for one may indeed not be nearly enough for another. I know some people who never quite heal the wounds and are never the same again after losing a piece of their heart and then there are some who are able to move past it seemingly much quicker. We are all such emotional and fragile beings. I believe though that you absolutely have to take the time to grieve and accept the finality of a death, you have to find where and how you live with it and where it lives within you, and once you are able to find that acceptance & quiet the sadness you can then begin to move into a brighter place, and find that then there is room for joy and love once again.

[Loren_Q]

February's a hard month for me.

Both my parents passed away in February, different years, same month. Odd coincidence, my mother's funeral was the same date as my dad's passing.

February is also a month of 'would-be' anniversaries. Would be meaning those relationships are no longer.

I still miss my moms, she was an amazing woman, tiny but powerful. You would swear she was 6ft tall. She was wise, kind, funny and took no shit from anyone. Oh, and protective... I think she carried bricks in her purse cause one swipe and BAM, you're down.

[Vamp_Kitty]

My 4 year old nephew loved to play in the water but the water took him away. He was the most cheerful little kid i could know. His life was not the best but he made the best of anything and everything. His mother wasnt really a mother, she refused to see jr and the older brother. The father did all he could to take care of both of the boys. I love and miss him dearly.