Femme Invisibility?

[Gemme]

That personally hasn't been experience.

[candy_coated_bitch]

Originally Posted by Gemme

That personally hasn't been experience.

Mine either.

[homoe]

Originally Posted by YBFemme

Be yourself. Butch women will know. Trust me. And those who do not, meh.

I apologize beforehand if butches aren't allowed to post in the femme zone, but I take umbrage at the "And those who do not, meh"!

There have been a few times I did not know, and I would hate to think someone would blow me off or deem me unworthy simply based on that.

[akiza]

it can be frustrating i don't know if it's because i give a cold exterior or i'm too much weird/analytical or straight i swear boys can tell stupid things when they're interessed it's 'cause of one of them i've been nice and haven't insulted him maybe a little that i met my first soft butch and her sister who want to have a go with me but they have a bond and i'm afraid to cause problems why encounter always come with hetero guys! breves i'd try some clothes once i travel in the capital maybe it'll work

[Slow breath]

A year ago, an 11 year relationship I was in abruptly ended. I was devastated, and one of the first things I did was cut my waist length hair off. I felt like I had removed my femme veil. I have not changed my personal style, but having an asymmetrical feminine haircut made me more visible than I've ever been.

So it has made me wonder, how much of our identity as femme is in our hair style?

I, like many, always passed as a heterosexual female. My new hair, not so much. I get the nods, the strangers chatting me up at public events, etc. that did NOT happen before, unless the look/glance/energies collided. My single self is enjoying the attention. But has made me very reflective on just how invisible I was as a femme with long hair.

As I am currently dating, I also wonder, and often ask my butch dates, their opinion on hair. Lol. Seems as though it's a non issue, because femme is femme, or so I am told, but I still currently feel as though my hair was a huge part of my identity.

Still loving my shorter hairstyle, btw.

[Wiccanfemme]

This is something that I constantly struggle with. I feel as though if I don't have rainbow jewelry clearly visible or a pride shirt on that everyone just assumes that I am straight. I hate hearing the dismissive oh she just hasn't found the right guy yet. I think I am very obvious when there is a butch around. That energy draws me like a magnet, I can't seem to drag my eyes away and any friends that I happen to be with instantly see my attraction. I think I must turn all shades of red and get so flustered. I don't know if the butches really see me though. Sometimes I worry that my look lingering a little too long might be taken the wrong way and they might feel like I'm judging them or looking at them in disapproval even though that is definitely not the case. I think that I stood out more when my hair was shorter and a violet red color, it was a feminine hairstyle but much shorter than it is now. I think it made me look a little more punkish instead of girl next door with my longer dark hair now. Sometimes I'm at a loss and wish I could just go up and tap the butch on the shoulder and say hello do you see me? I think you're hot! Lol. So not appropriate but what's a girl to do?

[gotoseagrl]

I've had shorter hair before, but nothing above the shoulders much. I was, as I am now, very girlie, so it didn't make me feel or present as any less femme. But now my hair is longer than it's ever been and while I keep thinking of cutting it again, I can't seem to let it go. It annoys me sometimes, but for some reason I like it too. I think it does make me feel even more feminine, if that's possible. Maybe the mermaid in me.

Originally Posted by Slow breath

A year ago, an 11 year relationship I was in abruptly ended. I was devastated, and one of the first things I did was cut my waist length hair off. I felt like I had removed my femme veil. I have not changed my personal style, but having an asymmetrical feminine haircut made me more visible than I've ever been.

So it has made me wonder, how much of our identity as femme is in our hair style?

I, like many, always passed as a heterosexual female. My new hair, not so much. I get the nods, the strangers chatting me up at public events, etc. that did NOT happen before, unless the look/glance/energies collided. My single self is enjoying the attention. But has made me very reflective on just how invisible I was as a femme with long hair.

As I am currently dating, I also wonder, and often ask my butch dates, their opinion on hair. Lol. Seems as though it's a non issue, because femme is femme, or so I am told, but I still currently feel as though my hair was a huge part of my identity.

Still loving my shorter hairstyle, btw.

[Femmewench]

[QUOTE=Slow breath;1145828]...one of the first things I did was cut my waist length hair off. I felt like I had removed my femme veil. I have not changed my personal style, but having an asymmetrical feminine haircut made me more visible than I've ever been.

So it has made me wonder, how much of our identity as femme is in our hair style?

...But has made me very reflective on just how invisible I was as a femme with long hair.
_________________________________________________

My hair has been short since I had it cut from waist length to pixie length in my early twenties. About 8 years ago I asked my hair dresser why my previously straight-as-straw hair had developed a wave. She asked me if I'd had chemo. No. She then told me I was going into menopause. She was right.

The gift of menopause is wavy hair which only becomes apparent once it's shoulder length. Since I'm in love with the wave, I'm growing it out for the first time in a long time just for me. I'm rediscovering the sensuous feel of my hair brushing against my back and shoulders. Long hair or short, I'm femme. Longer just ups the power in femme for me; that was a pleasant surprise.