The Love list.

[Mr Nice Guy]

The Love List.

Hi all, my name is Elusive and I saw this on Oprah. Its about these three women who are unlucky in love. So what they did was create a love list. Whats a love list you ask? Its a list of qualities you want in a partner. You see these three women didnt know about each other but they all had the same problem as some of us have here.Finding that true love.I know we are all looking but sometimes we let our negative thoughts get in the way of finding that one that makes your heart melt. Thats called bad karma. What these ladies did was to right down the traits they wanted and then they put the list somewhere. Two of these ladies met their partners and got married and after that they were going through their stuff. they came upon the list only to find out that what they listed was found in the person they met. I know that when I looked for someone I made all the wrong choices so I decided to try it and see if it works.<<disallowed word>>
<<disallowed word>>It all comes down to being honest with youself and writing it down not only reminds us but gives us good karma.Also it doesnt hurt. Ill share mine with you and who knows we might all make a match.
1.Honest
2.Loyal
3.Femme
4.Good job
5. Kind
6. loves animals
7.Sweet
8.Gentle
9.affectionate
10.unselfish
11.35-50
12.can cook
13.giving
14.lesbian
15.good heart
16.unconditional love
17.forgiving
18.punctual
19.thoughtful
20.considerate
21.sexy
22.someone who appreciates
23.family oriented

Dont be afraid to be honest. cause not being honest will get you what you had before. So Im trying it and i hope it works. Oh heck it will work if your positive!!!

[Mr Nice Guy]

God what a pain!! No bad words were used. ;(

[Pixie]

1-Honest
2-Trusting/Trustworthy
3-Attentive
4-Balanced
5-Kinky
6-Daddy
7-Affectionate
8-Open to receiving affection
9-Wants children
10-Patient
11-Butch
12-Proud
13-Hard Worker
14-Enjoys both routine and spontaneity
15-Animal lover
16-Non materialistic
17-Protective
18-Has a sense of humor
19-Manages time and money well
20-Has manners
21-Appreciative
22-Has a sex drive
23-Enjoys bowling, and doesn't mind getting their butt whooped!!
24-Takes care of themselves
25-Doesn't allow the baggage of the past to weigh down the flight to the future
26-Doesn't assume
27-Enjoys the outdoors/water
28-Open minded
29-Likes to make the decisions sometimes
30-Isn't afraid of the words "I love you" and "forever" when they are earned

[Mr Nice Guy]

Great list Pixie!! I hope others come and add their list.

[clay]

I have been cogitating on my "love list" for quite a while now. I am going to list some semblance of what I would like to see in a potential mate/partner.
Just let me say while making a list is a wonderful idea.... I know in all reality that every womyn is unique, has her own qualities, and we will work on a harmonious blend of our two unique individualities. For me, there are just some platitudes that should be there....without my having to list them.....but for sake of brevity, I will do so.
Foremost are all those things most of us want to have in our partners...

Honesty.......communicative...integrity....moral/ethical compass & turpitude

High self esteem......self confidence.......kindness to me, to others, and to pets

Emotionally available......over the exes....is not tied to and doesn't live with the exes!...friendly is okay...joined at the hips is NOT!!!.. able to live INDEPENDENTLY of the EX. and have her OWN identity now

While I want her to be with me, I want her to be able to live in the moment with me, not the "I can't live without you" kind of moment......she will have her friends whom she wants to spend time with, hang out with, and would need to be accepting and respectful of the same with me. Girls' night out and/or bois night out is wholesome!!! I am secure enough in whom I am to be able to respect this in a partner!!! So should she!

I would like to find a BBW femme with tomboyish qualities (I am NOT threatened by this at all! I am secure in whom I am!!!all the above and with these physical attributes:
35-58 (these ages are NOT "written in stone"...and I am highly flexible...as I believe age is just a number and I am NOT hung up on it!!) so you shouldn't be either!!!

HT.: 5'0" to 5'6"....I like to kiss "down" into her, not "up".....is just a personal preference BUT is not written in stone, so to speak.....

Prefer NON smoker
Social drinker

Sense of humor
Able to receive and to give
Open to compromise
Willingness to commit
Actually want a BF relationship........while being butch, it does NOT mean I am not willing to receive affections from my partner
Intense libido....as do I......
Social graces
Spontaneous
intellectual parity
Wants to spend time together, first and foremost....while being able to allow for individual time
Laid back
Easy going
Intuitive
Be accepting of my tattoos (I have 5, in good taste)
NO TEMPERS, please!!!!
Spiritual, but not religious (and certainly NOT a Zealot!)
Be employed or have regular source of income....I have no problem with combining monetary resources to build a life of US!! when we reach that point!!!
Know that life will, and does throw us curveballs...and be able to go with the flow..be flexible..adaptive...
Be tolerant of one another's frailties...don't sweat the small stuff...fix the bigger things but be willing to compromise on smaller issues...
Bedroom behavior is strictly private and between the two uf us....so those things we will discuss when we are together in private!
I want her to be able to take my breath away...each and every time I see her. From right by my side to from across the room.
Enjoy the small, loving gestures I will bestow upon you...enjoying and cherishing every one of them.
Be active in our relationship...ensuring the romance stays alive...be a participant, not an observer!
Be spontaneous...be willing to "grab a toothbrush" and go...
Want to emotionally invest in US....

While this is a start....there is much more...I want you to have an idea of whom I am and what I look for in a mate...if you have any questions or want to know more...please contact me...I would love to go there with you in depth...and YOU know who you are!!! Ms. Independence!!! <wink> Clay

[Mr Nice Guy]

Great list Clay.

[LaneyDoll]

Fun!!! Let me try? And I am going to swipe Pixie's list then edit b/c her list matches me well. (I heart you Pixie!)

I am going to limit myself to 30 otherwise I could be here all day and half the night

1-Honesty (it is sad that you HAVE to list this)
2-Trusting/Trustworthy (sad that you have to list this too)
3-Attentive-I want to be the focus of someone's world; I do not ever want to be/feel second (kids aside, I understand the importance of the parent/child relationship)
4-Balanced
5-Kinky
6-Butch or Andro, Daddy preferred
7-Affectionate
8-Realizes that relationships take work and commitment
9-Wants children
10-Patient
11-Loves music & movies and IS NOT a couch potato
12-Finds pleasure in the little things
13-Has passion (for life, for love) I embrace life to the fullest.
14-Enjoys time together and time apart. I do not cling and do not want someone who does.
15-Enjoys a variety of activities and likes trying new things
16-Enjoys going out just as much as they enjoy staying in
17-Protective
18-Has a sense of humor
19-Manages time (if I can be on time you can) and money well (but is not cheap)
20-Has manners and uses them
21-Likes their career
22-Has a high sex drive and initiates sleepy sex b/c I like waking up that way in the middle of the night
23-Takes care of themselves & supports that I may want my ultra femme time upon occasion
24-Does not expect me to always be in ultra femme mode
25-Doesn't live in the past (I do not want to feel like I come up short in comparisons)
26-Not a "taker" (I am a giver who is getting tired of always giving and not getting)
27-Either in my lifestyle or supportive of my place in it
28-Likes to take control but is not a control freak
29-Non Smoker
30-Social or Non-Drinker

[cinderella]

I love your signature line!!

I've read the lists, and they are commendable. I'm not listing because I am burnt out, old, jaded, and bitter...I will now leave this thread 'cause y'all certainly don't need my negativity. Good luck all in finding that elusive 'perfect life-mate'.

I have only truly loved once in my life. I have spent 40 years trying to find that again without success, so I quit. I have my puppy Pinky - now that's what I call unconditional love!

[Gráinne]

For me, a list like this is not only about seeking "out there", but is really a list of traits we want in ourselves-a list of our highest selves, so to speak. I'm not talking about butch seeking femme and vice versa, or physical traits-those count, too, but I suspect the inner traits are within our own souls, or we wish them to be. If relationships are truly mirrors, then we seek what we already have within. At heart, we want what makes us grow.

So, my list isn't what I seek in a partner (though if one showed up, great!), but rather what I want to grow in myself over the next year, June to June:

1. Patience
2. Tolerance
3. Openness (general)
4. Outgoingness
5. Appreciation of beauty in art, music, and writing,
6. Self-expression
7. Peace within; calmness
8. Having said that, great passion and fire within
9. Greater mind-body connection
10. High level of self-care
11. Respect and care for friendships
12. Hard work
13. Creativity
14. Inner joy
15. Care of surroundings
16. Experimental (in food, art, music, etc.)
17. Sense of humor
18. Compassion
19. Having a cause
20. Independence
21. Confidence
22. Sensuality
23. Sexuality, inner and perhaps with partners
24. Sense of adventure
25. Time on more hobbies
26. Education, always growing
27. Joy at work
28. Openness and readiness for love
29. Good physical health
30. Mentally tough

[undone]

Oprah? She's still around?
I love a list so I just have to participate!

Honest
Sincere
Intelligence
Common sense
Un addicted
Must love animals
Community inspired
Dose not want to have own kids
Can have existing
Respectful
Social grace
Manners
Articulate
Speaks the truth
Stands up for self and others
Stubborn
Enjoys doing things together and separate
Prefers the TV and computer turned off
Family importance
Wants the best with out perfection
Self worth
Playful
Disciplined
Preferably a bit older, because that is my personality not because I am looking for a parent.
Understanding of the changing nature of life and the world around
Understands us time and me times are equally important
Funny and lets me think I am too
The hard stuff: be strong enough to handle my moodiness, and playful enough to play anyways. Respect my independence and why I need it.
Be willing to take the lead but able to share when I have an agenda.
Be willing and honest enough to discuss difficult topics with a difference of opinion. a discussion is the sharing of thoughts, not I'm right your wrong.
Understands that a committed relationship is that when each decides that they chose to not let another soul or thing to come between them (children should be the only exception and that should be a mutual belief) that the future should be a shared investment and goal.
Don't compare today with the past, there is a reason it is in the past.

[LaneyDoll]

Originally Posted by guihong

For me, a list like this is not only about seeking "out there", but is really a list of traits we want in ourselves-a list of our highest selves, so to speak. I'm not talking about butch seeking femme and vice versa, or physical traits-those count, too, but I suspect the inner traits are within our own souls, or we wish them to be. If relationships are truly mirrors, then we seek what we already have within. At heart, we want what makes us grow.

Damn!!! I am officially speechless and my friends will tell you-that rarely happens.

This is beautifully stated. I may have to email it to myself as a reminder (with your permission of course).

[Mr Nice Guy]

Ok we need more lists people!!

[MrSunshine]

1. Sweet

everything else is cake

[Mr Nice Guy]

I like that. Quick and to the point.

[bigbutchmistie]

My List

Honest

Loyal

Trustworthy I can trust her with my life. This is VERY important

Extremely girly but aggressive

Is over 30.

Believes In God

Doesn't have children to raise

Romantic. Someone who doesn't expect me to just be romantic with her. Someone who loves treating her butch like a king as she will be treated as my queen.

Employed. Self sufficient

Non Smoker

No drugs social drinker is fine no drunks

Doesn't have cats. I'm highly allergic

Can handle me with ease

Has Common Sense

Tender

Patient

Affectionate

Nurturing

Understanding

Inuitive of my needs

Emotionally Supportive

Knows how to be on time

Someone who is highly sexual and isn't a pillow princess

Someone who puts relationships a priority and not an option

Someone is who is spontaneous. Who can and will drop everything at a moments notice to go a way together.

Someone who loves being femme but can be relaxed in just shorts and a t shirt.

Isn't materialistic. Enjoys the little things.

Has and uses manners

Protective of me as I am of her.

[Mr Nice Guy]

Great list!! I'm glad you all are filling it out. I believe it works. It did for some on another site. Oh you all can call me Handsome or Elusive or the King love bumper. Always here to help find love.

[bigbutchmistie]

Oh yea and someone who wants to have a commitment ceremony traditional with her in a long flowing white wedding dress and me in tuxedo. .

[lillith]

I have 1, as well:

Integrity

When a person has integrity all the traits of honesty, loyalty, honor, etc don't need to be stated, ya know? For me, they are all interrelated, and you cannot have one without the others. So it is just one. Well, maybe brown eyes too, but that is flexible.

[siam_blue]

Hi all,

Well, here goes--off the top of my head (before bed).

-handsome butch
-Top
-Daddy
-good sense of humour
-serious
-intelligent
-possesses good spelling and grammar
-well-employed and enjoys their job
-Canadian!
-someone who won't let me get away with shit!
-believes in honesty and lives their life with integrity and compassion
-gentle but firm
-prioritizes travelling
-someone who drives
-someone who loves cats and dogs and animals in general
-someone who speaks more than one language
-someone who wants a committed relationship
-someone aged 40-45 or so
-someone who accepts me for me and is not bothered that i have a mobility disability

There you have it! You did say to be specific!

[Mr Nice Guy]

Keep it going peeps!! Love the lists and yes, we all will find love.